Thread 26. TTC #1 - Calm as a hysterical cucumber

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly, don't convince yourself that you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

macs, fabulous news, congrats!! And Japan, wow, so exciting.

Sending very good appointment vibes, jam. Hope you get some really good information.

10DPO here. I'm sure I'm going to jinx things by posting this, but oh well. Had some light pinky-brown spotting CD6-8, which has stopped. No other symptoms. Hmm...??

Thanks for all the well wishes girls 🌸

Flash I think it helps so much to have another focus. Buying this flat has been a stress but it has been a good distraction at times. I think a longer bleed sounds like a step in the right direction. I'm going to ask about having short periods - will report back.

Harriet agreed re DH I think he's terrified

Vi not self centred at all, we're all here to try and help and support each other

Thanks pug great news about getting your appointment that will come round quick

Smitten if that's unusual for you then it sounds really promising. I have never spotted on those cycle days before - completely unheard of for me. Fx

Got a lot of stuff to go through with DH tonight, we haven't seen each other since Saturday morning. A takeaway is in order I think...

Congrats on your new job macs!!!

jam you are exceedingly well prepared and I really hope you get your BFP before having to start treatment but if you do need a helping hand, it is not that bad. Perhaps IUI may be an option too? Or natural cycle IVF? Best of luck!

Thanks for all well wishes. I cried today. A lot. But those that I spoke to were all very understanding.
I applied for a new role and got told do not have right profile, but that a more suitable interim role might come up - I bloody hope so otherwise it is clear I need to look elsewhere. I hate to walk out on 15 years but know I cannot do this anymore - regardless of TTC situation.

Ugh, sorry to hear it kwick, job stress upon TTC stress.

Mid-cycle spotting is really unusual for me, yes -- though I said the same thing last cycle about my gums bleeding. Lol.

Ah jam the appt for April has been booked since the end of last year. They called to offer an earlier one yesterday but DH is away a lot in March so I couldn't take it. Bur less than 6 weeks away now, so not long to wait.

Glad you have some understanding colleagues kwick. Agree that if your work won't allow you to progress, then looking elsewhere may be an idea. Not worth being stuck in a job you don't enjoy anymore.

Jam, sounds like you are uber prepared (are you a stress-organiser like me?). I'll be thinking of you tomorrow

Kwick, glad you survived today. I hope the different role comes up asap, life is way too short to be stuck in a job that's making you miserable.

Congrats macs on your new job!

FX for the spotting smitten!

i'm 26
TTC baby no3
children aged 7 & 5
TTC - cycle no 4
7/8 days past ovulation
Hot flushes, dizziness, lightheaded 5&6 days past ovulation
Tiredness, thrust (which has now gone) creamy discharge since ovulation
lack of sex drive not interested one bit.
Today.. crampy mild period like cramps. Feel like I'm about to come on my period ( due in 6 days) dying to test but too early :-( and I'm massively irritable and snappy (usually get that around period time )

What is actually wrong with my husband. He's actually said to me tonight "I don't know if I have the fight for this, I don't know if I want the responsibility, I'm terrified of having kids". The night before we see a fertility specialist.

I can handle it over the flat - just - but this is just too far.

I couldn't feel more alone in this. I'm beginning to resent him and I'm worried for our marriage 😔😔😔

Oh Jam, what an incredibly shitty thing for him to say particularly tonight when you need his support. I guess there is something more deliberate about fertility treatment (if you need it of course) whereas when it's just sex, he doesn't have to think about the consequences so much but that's really no excuse for saying what he did. I know at our FC they insist you have counselling if you're undergoing any treatment, do you think he would engage with that? I'm so sorry though, I wish there was something that I could say or do that would help

kwick pleased your colleagues were lovely to you. I think you're making a brave but correct decision re. job change. Hope they can offer you everything you want.

Hi Pug April will be here very soon I'm sure. This year is already flying by!

Glad to be of help Vi and Harriet. Good news about the ic opk Harriet. Hopefully O isn't too far away now!

Wow Jam that's shocking. I'm so sorry Could he just be freaking out about tomorrow?

I hate to be that person but this is a TTC #1 thread Sara.

Oh jam! Sending is he just a bit nervous because of having to make a concerted effort? I know it sounds weird but I'm terrified of having kids! If I fall pregnant naturally I'll be thrilled, but the thought of impending assistance fills me with fear...along the lines of "what if I force this and I hate it". That's all I can think of, he seems a bit scared about all the grown up stuff...flat, kids etc. I hope it's just a bit of nerves!

I hope you find a new job soon kwick not enjoying your job and having it be stressfull isn't fun. Especially with other things going on!

Well AF has fucked off again now, never really got going no proper flow as such so I have no fucking idea what day of my cycle I am on now . I could have easily missed it if I wasn't obsessed with checking my CP to see if I was going to get the relief of a period. I could seriously throw the towel in with my body right now. It's never done this before and it's just pissed me right off!
Can someone send me some PMA that my body isn't broken?!

Sorry ladies, seem to be having the busiest few weeks at work, so struggling to keep up!! My 'spotting' tailed off yesterday morning & now is just a beige tinge, so who knows!! Also no idea if this is unusual for me or not, as we're only cycle 3, I have no idea what usual is!!

Hope work sorts itself out kwick, a new role sounds just what you need

Alexia so sorry about your friend

Best of luck for your appointment tomorrow jam, you're so well prepared! But also keeping fx for your pre-appointment BFP in the morning! Sorry about your DH too, but agree it's probably just nerves about tomorrow & an action plan being put into place, he might also be nervous about his morphology numbers and how much they play into it all?

Glad the relaxed cycle is working for you pyjamas

Congrats on the job mac

Fx smitten!!

Vi so sorry your body is messing you around - definitely ok to be pissed off!!

Alexia - I think a more relaxed cycle will be perfect for you. I'm not sure if you're still using opks but you could do away with those too and just have sex throughout your cycle to catch the egg. Don't feel guilty about your emotions, as long as you are there to support your friends - it doesn't matter the processes your brain is going through.

Geeup - good luck for your injections, let us know how you get on. I understand your unwillingness to post on here anymore but we're like a little family, so don't feel like you don't belong here. Just see it as leading the charge for all the long-time TTCs.

Kwick - it was always going to be a tough day for you but you got through it and that's all that matters. Is there still a lot of travelling inolved with your current job?

Jam - your DH sounds like he's having a bit of a meltdown at the moment, he seems very insecure. Has he always been prone to insecurity and anxiety or has it built up over time? Also, what time is your appointment tomorrow?

Pyjamas - I have no symptoms either but I'm not really looking for them. I think both you and I are due our BFPs this cycle, that HSG can't be for nothing!

Oh and, congratulations on your new job Macs!

So sorry to read how your DH has been Jam, as the others have said its probably just nerves for the appointment tomorrow. Can imagine it must have been really hard to hear, I hope you're ok good luck for the appointment tomorrow.

Well done for getting through your first day back kwick, glad you have supportive colleagues.

Congratulations on the new job macs

Sorry your body is messing you around so much vi

I'm another one trying the relaxed approach this cycle, no temping or opks, feel much calmer about it all this cycle.

Thanks all for saying I should keep posting. I'll let you know how I get on.
Good luck tomorrow jam. Sorry you OH is being so unsupportive and flakey. It must feel awful but try not to let ttc come between you. Just keep talking and listening and hopefully it'll become clear what's at the root of his fears. People especially men and women express themselves differently. It'll be ok.

Oh jam, poor thing - I can only imagine how you're feeling. Hopefully tomorrow will give some clarity for both of you - sounded like a 'no turning back' moment was needed with the flat, maybe this is another crunch point? And kathrino mentioned counselling - maybe that would help work things through together. Good luck tmo, hope you can get some rest

kwick sounds like you're doing the right thing for you, which is the most important thing, esp. with everything else. And an impressive stint of 15 years!

Vi how frustrating - feel for you. Judging from this thread, bodies get up to all sorts, so don't give up on yours yet :) mine seems to have taken up incredibly short AF just as I've started thinking about TTC...

Argh jam - while I want to shake your DH, perhaps it's just anxiety about tomorrow. I hope he pulls himself together and supports you 💐

You're right skipper - we are so due our HSG BFPs! Good to hear you're not looking for symptoms- do you feel more relaxed this cycle?

You got over a big hurdle today kwick - it was hard, but you've done it. I hope the job situation sorts itself out soon - that's extra stress you don't need.

Sorry your body is throwing you curveballs vi - every month I feel like I've sussed my cycle and all it's various symptoms and niggles, then some batshit crazy new symptom ruins my life for the last week of the TWW. What fun!

Pyjamas - so relaxed, easiest 2ww ever. I think I've just accepted its going to take me a while now. Also I've been really distracted: new job, wedding in June, my sister is back from travelling the world, lots of family birthdays/occasions, I'm treating myself to a new wardrobe etc etc. How about you?

jam how awful! What a crap thing to say and what bally awful timing. I really hope today goes well - am sending you loads of PMA.

Still need to catch uo 20.31

jam I'm so sorry about how your DH is behaving. I think you need to tell him that it's perfectly normal to have concerns and worries about big decisions and normally you would be happy for him to share them with you, but at the moment you are the one going through what is basically a mental and physical ordeal every month and he needs to support and comfort you for once!!!

Good luck with your appointment - hope you both feel better afterwards.

Thank you for everyone's encouragement, i did a CB digital this morning and got 2-3 weeks, so there's definitely something happening in there. I keep trying to stop worrying and enjoy these early days where me and DH (and you ladies) are the only ones in on the secret but it's really hard not to.

I'm sorry your first day back was tough Kwick. Hopefully the worst part is now out of the way and it will get easier.

Good luck today Jam, whether you get a surprise BFP or it's a great start to the next step, I hope by the end of the day you're feeling positive.

Thank you for the offer to join the grads thread Fxskip. I have been venturing over for a nosey but I'm still a bit too scared to join.

Congrats on the new job macs. Japan sounds fab, it's a place me and DH have always been interested in going.
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Thanks girls. He was freaking out. I think he was actually getting panicky. I think he's terrified about what this person is going to say. And yes he does find the thought of becoming a dad very daunting - but I have to remind myself that he wouldn't have spent the last 15 months trying if he didn't really want it deep down.

skipper yes he is prone to it I think - although he wouldn't admit it to himself. I am talking to him about speaking to someone about it. It's a bit difficult for him to access psychological therapies because of his job, but I think he needs to for his own good. It is holding him back from fulling enjoying his life and he should fix that for himself, as much as for me or anyone else.

Eurgh though. We are on egg shells with each other. Will men ever understand PMS?

Appointment is in a couple of hours.

kwick well done getting through your first day back, you are one hell of a strong woman. I'm so glad to hear that you are putting yourself first and looking at your options.

tonks yay for the CB :)

I'm the same skipper - so chilled out this cycle! Work has been busy, but I'm definitely more relaxed about it all 👍🏼

Hooray for CB tonks 😀

And good luck with your appt jam!

That's so great to hear skipper and jam - jealous of you both!

I'm feeling kind of crappy - tired, run down, have a mouth ulcer (always bad sign for my overall health and well being!) and worried that I'm not going to ovulate this month - 5 days of flashing smiley, no EWCM and ovia has shifted FW forward.

Oh and 3 friends gave birth in the last week. Gorgeous babies and pictures all over facebook. Happy for them and sad for me!

Big hugs harriet look after yourself with some pamper / me time this weekend if you can.

PJ Skipper I'm in awe of your chilled cycles.

I was definitely doing better earlier this month with EOD , but with the flat and DH having meltdowns and now this appointment and hormones kicking in the zen has left the building!

Need to get back on to that yoga mat and do some serious cat cow down dog