Thread 26. TTC #1 - Calm as a hysterical cucumber

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly, don't convince yourself that you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Sorry for the AF winging glad you can laugh about it maybe don't post next time and see

Good to hear from you skipper - sorry you're having such a tough time 💐

Going back to work today was pretty brutal as am still not 100% and have so much to catch up on!

CD12 today and face rash is back - not impressed that this seems to now be an ovulation symptom. BAH!

Boo to face rash pjs I'm with you on the face problems this cycle I have cultivated a beautiful spot right on the end of my nose...brill. Too scared to touch it as don't want to make it worse!!!

Got a cracking head ache tonight...prob the zit forcing its way through yuk.

Sorry to hear your struggling still skip hope you're getting the treatment you need and the support

Put me down for 18th March please.

Af arrived today 2 days early but on track with an 11 day lp as ovulated earlier this month. So that's a lovely 24 day cycle. On the positive at its bright the next fw closer?! 3 days hardly there spotting first as well, now that's a new one to me, in 4 years of being of hormonal contraception that has never happened.

Skipper cramping sounds crap, sorry to hear that - I had no idea it could cause that. I don't blame you for not keeping up the PMA - it takes it out of you and sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and get your head down . DH and I have also talked about adopting as well as having biological children too - it's definitely something we would consider.

Hope you're feeling brighter soon mrsbluebell

Good luck Alice I hope throwing your hands up and stepping back helps you feel better and able to get on with life. Another one hoping you get a surprise BFP too

Thinking of you kwick 🌷💛

Sorry AF got you glitter. That is positive about your cycles though

I've had a rubbish argument with DH about booze - again!! He's at work in New York (he goes there a lot it's not something special) and he says I'm just popping out for a beer. It's a sodding Monday night !! He's at work!! There is no need to drink 😣 why does this have to be such a battle - I just don't feel like we're on the same side. 😔

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time sk1pper, sending lots of good wishes your way. Same to you MrsBluebell.
*
Alice*, totally understand how you feel. Good luck with whatever happens next

So sorry about AF winging and glittery, I often find that posting in here or contemplating POAS has that effect

Jam, I'm so sorry that DH is being so stubborn about this. It seemed like you were finally getting through to him and then he goes and does this.

Glad you survived today pyjamas, hope you can ease yourself back into it this week.

I'm so confused by my OPKs this cycle. God knows what's going on. Will try to stick to EOD though, thankfully that doesn't mean tonight so I can get an early night!

Ugh to spots pjs and Missy. I never get them either but since AF I've had so many around my jawline and woke up with 2 new ones today. It's just cruel!

Sorry skipper, I must have missed your post about all the pain you're experiencing. No wonder you're feeling so bloody fed up! It sounds awful. I hope ovulation goes smoothly for you this month. We've also discussed adoption and would adopt from Asia (where DH is from) if we don't have a child in 1-2 years time.

Sorry about af glitter

How frustrating Jam. Why can't he just quit or at least keep it for the weekend only? A Monday night at work doesn't seem right. It feels like he's not trying hard enough My DH gave up smoking, and it wasn't easy considering our line of work, but I'm proud of him.

Kathrino I'm confused this cycle too. Opks are snowy white, high temps already (sick), I had lots of ewcm for 2 days but it's now creamy/wet. Just going to stick to EOD sex too. Enjoy your early night!

Ah jam - sorry to hear about argument with DH While it is frustrating, I do also understand where he's coming from - I saw red the minute I felt like my DH was telling me what to do regarding the couple of drinks I had - it's usually the quickest way to get me to do the total opposite. Childish, I know, but that's how I react! I do understand how frustrating it is for you though - I don't think there are many situations in life where getting what we want also depends on another person's behaviour and choices.

Just took make up off and rash is worse than I thought - I thought you're meant to feel sexy around ov time, not like some spot-ridden self-conscious teenager!

What's going on with your OPKs kath?

That's how I felt alexia - that we're not in it together, he's not giving it everything he can. Pyjamas I completely see what you mean, it is a fine line. I just think come on .. it's Monday night, do you really have to have a beer? Also I hate to say it but the only known problem so far is his low morphology - so you'd think he would be doing everything he could to improve it.

That's weird about your opks alexia and kath - what cd are you? I'm cd9 today - in that lull between AF and FW and it's boring!

We're going to HS EOD this cycle too. I've also reduced caffeine intake (1 coffee a day instead of 2 plus tea), taking my extra supplements, already exercise and have a good diet...hope it helps!

jam I really feel for you with your DH. Mine is similar. He almost seemed relieved about the mc because it had happened "too quickly" (13 months after we agreed to ttc...albeit not trying all that time) and while we have so much else going on. Luckily he has a lot of work atm and he doesn't drink the night before concerts so that is keeping his alcohol intake down. I would be so pissed off in your shoes but I think not much to be gained by letting him know that - as pyjamas says might have opposite effect. Maybe focus on rewarding good behaviour?! (Like I do with my cat!)

jam it is really frustrating when it seems someone doesn't take things seriously. Especially when you are trying your best in so many ways. I don't know much about morphology but I have heard drinking can have an impact, even just a few a week...I guess at the end of the day it just depends on the type of person you are and your outlook on life some people just want to live each day as it comes and are quite laid back about things which totally doesn't help matters!
I'm the complete opposite so I wish I had a bit more 'of the moment' genetic make up! I'm hyper aware of everything to do with my body, every twinge, anything slightly different...if doc tells me to do something I follow it to the rule! Maybe me and you me DH should do a gene exchange to even things out a bit!

harriet good point about rewarding good behaviour lol like a cat...I agree making big issues of things in a relationship can be more detrimental than breathing through them and venting on here. Nothing wrong with the odd laid back raising of a point but first and foremost keeping a great relationship and keeping stress down should be a priority especially when trying to create a family. Can be easier said than done though sometimes! Plus you want to feel like the support and effort is not just one sided.
My DH I think dreads the idea of children he knows what a big change it will make to our life which is so lovely at the moment, it totally freaks me out too in many ways. He's pretty laid back about TTC but I do sometimes wonder what his reaction will be when (if) I get my BFP...

Jam, I'm CD15 today so, based on my normal 30ish day cycles, should be ovulating tomorrow. Did a random OPK on Saturday afternoon and it was a strong negative so thought maybe I'd get a positive on Sunday and then ovulate a couple of days early which is not unheard of. But every OPK I've done since has been white or very light. I didn't start getting EWCM until yesterday though which would suggest that tomorrow is about right for ovulation. I've spent so long analysing every twinge too that I'm not sure I'd recognise ovulation pains if they hit me in the face so god only knows when/if it's happened or will happen! Anyway, I hope you and DH are okay today and that he didn't have too many beers last night...

Missy, I think my DH is exactly the same. I'm not sure how he will cope with the idea of giving up his weekend lie-ins when the reality of what a baby means hits!

Sorry to hear about your DH Jam. Perhaps he is refusing to make changes because he doesn't want to admit that he might be doing something thats causing a problem with TTC/that there might be a problem with his fertility?

7 dpo here and some more sludgy red/brown spotting. Not huge amounts, but still disappointing. It's not all day, every day, it just suddenly appears!

No other symptoms to report, boobs still agony, but no change from the last couple of cycles.

Morning ladies. Hope there's lots of GOS going on.

Ikea, love ikea. But I can't seem to walk through the place with out spending about £40 on rubbish I don't need. Mainly sented candles. And I always seem to collect random kitchen things, tubs, utensils, dish towels etc... .

OH is now completely loaded and off work with this virus. Problem with that is he is not good at sitting about at home. I have my suspicious he will be sitting contemplating rearranging furniture or will have a plan to start some DIY project that will undoubtedly get on my nerves haha. The man does not know what peace and quiet is!

When I came home last week I was half expecting OH to make comments about me having a wine. I'm a bit like you pyjamas as is my OH. We are both quite stubborn so we need to talk things over otherwise if one tells the other what to do/not to do it doesn't end well. We are definitely guilty of butting heads. jam if he's goes out for a drink is it just a drink or does he tend to over indulge? I know it's really frustrating but if he has one or two over the course of the week to relax this might be better than getting worked up and anxious? But I completely see were you are coming from with the low morphology results. It would definitely be a question for your consultant when you visit. Maybe if they tell him to stop/cut right back he will take bit more notice. Fx. But must say harriet your suggestion to use positive reinforcement like you use on your cat made me laugh . But you're right and I would bet it works more than men would like to admit.

kath i used to know exactly when I was ovulating as it was a noticeable pain each month. But since ttc and logging 'symptoms' every other day I would say that there's soo many things I pay attention to know it's mind boggling!

sk1p i really hope things change for you soon. You really have been through the mill ttc

wing this is why I have no proper tests in the house. I swear the minute I put a frer or such like in my basket af is somehow activated! My last bfp came when I had short cycles, average 25/26. This bfp my cycles are 26/27 now. As long as you are getting 11 plus days from ovulation I don't think it is too much of a worry.

alexia that's a shame about kwick but you are right she has us all here. She has given us soo much support and PMA. I hope she pops back soon so we can be there for her as she has been for us.

alice i hope to hear good news from you in the near future. Ttc can really take its toll emotionally and physically

flash hope the increased heart rate is a good sign. Apologise I have forgotten who it was but one of us used a fitbit that measured increase heart rate and they noticed this was a symptom the month the of their bfp. Fx

Lsfx everyone, hoping for more bfp's. You never know, we may have a little valentines bean or two cooking away nicely

Relieved to hear am not the only one who digs their heels in ha ha - it's really the only time me and DH will argue! He's learning 😂

Am on CD13 here and due to HS tonight - I've noticed some CM (honestly, any is progress) and felt ov pain this morning - does that mean it's too late? Who knows - going to carry on as normal anyway.

Lots of EODers about - fx for all of us!

Pyjamas - I have been wondering the same thing, Ovia tells me my FW can be up to the day after Ov, but from things I've read, I was pretty sure the sperm needed to be up there already, waiting?! So confusing!!

I tend to think that up to about 12 hours after ovulation is probably okay but probably not much longer - presumably it depends on how fast things move though which is probably quite individual.

harriet if your DH was relieved that must have been incredibly upsetting. He does sound like mine – very hesitant and cautious? I think it can be harder for chaps to get their heads around. They don’t see to have the same biological need for babies that we do. Plus I think there is a big element of not wanting their easy going life to change!
Yes maybe more positive reinforcement is the way forward. He has a few times turned down a drink. I’m make sure he know how grateful I am when he does.
Haha missy yes. Booze is a tricky one to pin down. Some places I’ve read there is nothing you can do to improve morphology, other places say give up booze.kath’s specialist advised to cut down dramatically so I’m going with that for now.
kath I usually get EWCM a day or two before +OPK. Hopefully it will come positive today. DH says he didn’t drink at all last night, after we fell out. I failed to have too much sympathy with him at the time as I was annoyed I even had to ask.
flash that’s a good point, it could be some kind of denial I suppose. I’m hoping our specialist will say something conclusive about drinking less. Perhaps he will listen to them! Only one week of the TWW left for you! Fx
peaches he definitely does use alcohol for relaxation and coping with stress. It’s also an occupational hazard for him – he travels for a living and every time they arrive somewhere they got for a drink. It’s like it’s just What You Do. And then when he comes home he has a drink, because, you know – I’ve just finished work, so I’m having a drink. And then when it’s the weekend he’ll have a drink because it’s the weekend… ugh. Hope you are getting on well, any more symptoms?
pyjamas stick to EOD! It’s not too late I’m sure. Ov pain for me lasts about 2-3 days.
Day after you ovulate – I think you can still conceive as the egg is around for 24 hours. However it’s best to have sperm there ready and waiting as it takes a few hours for them to swim up and be ready.

Harriet tbh, I think my DH would say he was relieved that in the end we didn't have a baby last year. Given the choice between an ectopic or a baby, I know he would have chosen a baby but at the time he felt it had happened to soon and hadn't really got his head around it. But once it got to Christmas and we would actually have been parents at that point, he suddenly got very sad about the fact that weren't going to be parents yet, that he didn't have a baby to buy a Christmas card for etc and that's when he said he was ready to try again.

*too soon

Yes jam and flash he is cautious. I think he was also just surprised that we conceived as soon as we started trying (both times). I'd been telling him we needed to get started as it can take a while, so he wasn't expecting it to be immediate. And we're moving house and the house is a building site, and both very busy in our jobs etc etc. I'm not too upset about it - better for only one of us to be upset than both! And at least he has agreed to ttc even though I know he'd prefer to wait longer. He will love our baby when it's here, I'm totally sure of that. I'm just so impatient now! If I hadn't conceived last month I wouldn't be worried, but because we lost it I suddenly feel in a huge rush like I've lost time!