Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

[Miami81]

Hey. Just starting new thread. Hope the rest of you find it.

It's horrible that he's said that. Not sure if I'm being over dramatic or its just hormones but that one comment has repulsed me... making me want to not be with him anymore etc. He really doesn't seem to care or think he did anything wrong.

Crazyvape.I have an i internal monologue going on with regards to ttc.
Am in the bizarre place of outwardly saying,'no,no more for us.'x' is more than enough.'
While desperately waiting for the
bleeding to be over so we can get on with it.
This thread is literally my only outlet.So sorry if it's getting repetitive but don't have anyone to confide in irl.

Crazy
Sorry to hear that, it really doesn't help to make you feel better.
It's important to talk about how this all makes us feel- I tend not to discuss too much/often with DH, as I don't want to put the pressure on him.

I already put the pressure on myself by the mere fact thinking about it almost daily and still feeling sad about my MMC last summer. Don't really know how to get it all wiped out of my mind.

Also, I seem to find myself coming out with sarcastic comments related to pregnancy, baby etc. e.g. it's lucky so many of our friends are having more babies so that our LO will not be lonely, seeing as it seems likely we won't be having another. I don't want to say these things, but find myself blurting it out- might be all the frustration building up.

I need to pull myself together- were are due to go out and see friends tonight. One is due to give birth in the next few months and the other is about 7 weeks pregnant (has announced & everyone tonight knows).

Really would prefer to stay home on the sofa and drink wine- also started spotting today (CD28) so will most definitely be having my period either late tonight or tomorrow!

Sorry to all, but I am feeling sorry for myself this evening!

Turquoise I am totally with you on the accidentally finding yourself making unnecessary sarcastic comments. Had a heart to heart with my pregnant best friend yesterday. The comment I made about never making it to a booking appointment had made her think she is constantly causing me huge amounts of distress. Which isn't the case at all. I'm glad we got it all out in the open, it definitely helped.

I've started on the wine . We've got friends coming over tonight who fortunately none of them have children- a gay couple and a friend who is single in her mid 30s.

Turquoise I hope your evening with your friends is ok.

Crazy sorry you're having such a tough day and OH is being less than helpful. I know it isn't any consolation but my DH has often said unhelpful things in his own distress. I have found sometimes if you point out that you didn't find a particular comment helpful they often just haven't thought about it in the same way. Similarly, I have made comments which DH has found negative and unhelpful and he has done the same. I think it is best to try and be open rather than stewing on things if at all possible.

Crazy i totally understand how your feeling. My dp is being an arse his way of dealing with it is to tell me to shut up going on about it. I had my mmc less than two weeks ago he was great at first. I got upset yesterday because i saw a newborn it took everything in me not to cry. When i told him i felt sad his comment 'why because you've seen a baby'? Just so heartless. I told him how it made me feel and seemed to understand but won't stop the next comment.

I don't think men feel it in the same way that we do. They definitely do feel something (!) but it's just not the same as us -- we feel it with our whole bodies! But sympathy for those whose OH isn't helping.

My DH is being good this time. Last time he was off on a camping trip with our older DC leaving me alone with the 3yo!! (To be fair I told him to go, not wanting to ruin the weekend for everyone, but they came home early bc I reaaally wasn't coping.)

I've got followup appointment on Tuesday which will be 2 weeks after ERPC. Hoping they will be able to reassure me about the weird goings-on in my cervix... It's Valentine's Day but thankfully DH and I don't celebrate it anyway (just not our thing).

Think I am going to have to bite the bullet and head back to the doctors.Have a feeling something's not right.
Hopefully it's nothing more than something small left behind but really shouldn't google infection.That throws up some scary stuff.
Surely even if it is anti-biotics should sort it??
Was really hoping for a romantic Valentines too

Oh gosh room, I've just googled too (had some worries myself) -- scary stuff!

I'm trying to tell myself that this is all very routine from a medical POV...

Hope you get some reassurance.

Popping my head back in here as I'm in the waiting game right now at 5dpo (4th cycle post MMC) and convincing myself my breasts feel fuller / my back hurts / my nipples are sore etc etc which I have no doubt is all nonsense and in my head. Bah. @AnneLovesGilbert, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and will be thinking of you a lot. Have you always conceived quite quickly? I read a very interesting study about women who are particularly fertile and get pregnant very quickly but the pregnancies aren't viable and are eggs that other women's bodies will reject - so they tend to miscarry a lot more often. Might be worth a Google. Thinking of you.

I just flushed my engagement ring down the sink.....fuuuuuuuuuck! Just got a replacement one (the last loss was not my fault) and put this one on the side of the sink, knocked it and it's disappeared, hoping I can get a plumber out to find it - is there some sort of u bend our something. Oh Good, least thing I need.

In other news, AF still seriously heavy but still no stomach cramps our sore boobs. Weird!

We men, I think you're right Water, men just don't feel the same or if they do, It's not for as long so start to process/fix it faster. fluffy and crazy, sorry your OHs are doing this, I hope they will begin to understand very soon.

noroom, sounds sensible, definitely need to get it checked out. emsler, keeping everything crossed for you.

Now to try and get some sleep whilst not worrying about losing the most expensive item I own! At least it wasn't the original I guess......clutchingatstraws

Swim
There is a ubend. Hopefully it will have lodged in it. Should be on YouTube ways to get into it and check. Nightmare. I hardly ever take mine off for this very reason. Completely paranoid I would do the same.

Thanks Miami. It's not my house so didn't even think, our sinks you couldn't do it with. I feel sick. Will check on YouTube in the morning and keep my fingers crossed until then

Oh no swim. Fingers crossed you get it back. Let us know. I know men show feelings different and it's probably his way of dealing with things as i use to ignore problems but it makes me ill so have no choice but to face them and talk about it as i can't go to that dark place again. He knows this but still comes out with selfish comments.

swim, if you can get one of those thin metallic coat hangers, you could improvise a little hook and fish around a bit.

Hi all, hope you're all ok. I've not been on here since my last post.
I've had a lot of test which have all come back clear. Two weeks ago I had a pelvic scan which showed everything in fine working order. It also showed I'd ovulated as there was fluid around one of my ovaries which is good.
My doctor had consulted with me and said there was no known cause for my miscarriages at all. It's left me feeling uncertain about everything now.
So this morning I'm on cd29 due af on Tuesday or Thursday. I've not been great at tracking my cycle, I just couldn't see the point. I've had this horrendous back ache for the last week it's been awful. Anyhow, I decided to use my last ic pregnancy test and for the fun of it, an ovulation test too just because I'm a poas addict. Well... they were both positive!
I'm in total and utter shock right now. It's been exactly a year today since my hcg went to zero with my first miscarriage.
Praying this is our rainbow and it's here to stay.
Not stopped crying 😭

I hope all of you get your bfps, sending you all my thoughts. It's tough explaining to people how you feel, this forum was a god send to me.

All I can say is hang in there, things have a funny way of working. Things happen when you least expect it ❤❤

Aww, congratulations Amy!

Congratulations Amy . Keeping everything crossed this is your rainbow.

I got my ring back - unscrewed the u bend and it was in there. Phew phew phew.

fluff . Really hope OH gives you the support you need.

Congratulations Amy, everything crossed for you.

Great news on the ring swim!

How miserable is the weather this weekend?!

Great stuff, swim! You must be so relieved.

emily, miserable enough that we haven't gone out at all. Unfortunately since the first post MC AF has arrived, we didn't make the most of it either

Congratulations Amy. Fingers and toes crossed for you.

Lovely news Amy.

What a relief about the ring swim!

Congratulations amy

And really pleased you managed to get it back swim and he just doesn't get it. I know blokes feel different i fell in love the moment i got a positive test where as he didn't. With my dd he fell in love when she was born not before. Even when she was really poorly after birth he didn't show any emotion or even seem to understand how poorly she was even when ventilation was an option. I think he just doesn't think about things so he doesn't have to worry. I get that's his way i just struggle with no support. Men can't live with them or without

Congratulations Amy and great news swim.

I've just done something that I swore I would never do. I have bought 50 ovulation tests of eBay.

My mmc was 4 weeks ago, stopped bleeding 3 weeks ago. At the hospital just under 2 weeks ago they said they could see I was about to or was about ovulate, no AF yet. I need to know what my body is doing so I can TTC

Oh my goodness, they're even having a MC storyline on The Archers! (Thereby demonstrating I'm definitely too old to be allowed another baby...)