Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

[Miami81]

Hey. Just starting new thread. Hope the rest of you find it.

light, congratulations! I'm over the moon for you. And Anne, I'm hoping that heartburn is also the precursor to good news - when can you test?

Thanks emsler. AF due Tuesday. Got some right hand stabbing and low level cramping, massively bloated in the belly and loads of on/off nausea. I've had a funny tummy off and on, which never happens, so could just be getting distracted from a bug!

How are you getting on?

Fingers crossed all your symptoms mean something Anne.

I'm feeling perplexed. So AF showed up early on Monday but she was pretty light and seems to have finished already. Normally would tail off with spotting for a few days. Boobs keep feeling a bit burny. Officially AF was due tomorrow. I might just give in and do a test like a mad woman to stop the wondering.

crazy any update?

Thank you keepon. I'm swinging wildly from "stop overthinking everything and just see what happens", to double checking Ovia for the symptoms I had last month before bfp (all really similar bar the gastric stuff, not helping!), being 99% convinced I'm pregnant and being 75% sure it's impossible.

Yours sounds very confusing. Light as in really not properly on at all? If so, or if it felt different to normal, I'd be poas tomorrow morning. Just do it, it'll make you feel better even if only briefly!

Have you had the boob thing when you've been pregnant before?

Yeah it's not good I'm afraid... in full swing AF so I'm thinking I had a chemical as all tests are negative now :( oh well, can try again this month

Well my partner has told me today he no longer wants another baby after telling me we can try again. I don't know what this means for us as i can't imagine life without another one. Help i feel I'm losing the will to live.

Sorry fluff :( Give it a couple of days to calm down and talk to him properly. It can be such a rollercoaster and people can lash out and say things they haven't really thought through. He might just be thinking he can't deal with it right now or he's worried about it being too much for you. Give it some time and don't take anything as gospel yet.

Sorry to hear that Crazy :( Maybe keep away from the FRERs... I have read they are a bugger for false positives, apparently the only test which can give them.

fluff it may just be a reaction to the miscarriage, I said the same thing myself in fact. Give him time to calm down and talk to him again. Please don't give up hope. We're all here for you to talk to.

I had positives on a couple of early response brands :/ not testing a minute before AF is due this time

fluff, I agree with emsler and Bertie, because I actually said that after my MC - no more trying! It truly was my grief speaking.

He isn't grieving. He's no longer bothered about my baby because he never got to physically see it alive it doesn't matter. He was the same with my dd he didn't really care until she was born. I don't think he sees it as an actual baby until it's born. I'll be surprised if he changes his mind. It's his way or no way. I actually hate him right now if he said no to another on the first place then fine. I feel like I've lost my baby all for nothing. I'm even more sad than I was. Up until today we were going to try again. I'm really sorry crazy

fluff I'm so so sorry love. Sending you the biggest squeeze of a hug. Don't know what to say or how anyone can make this better. Give your DD a big cuddle and give yourself some time to process this horrible shock.

Hating him right now is just the way you feel.

You loved your baby and he/she was real and special and important.

Someone said a while ago that you love the baby from the minute you see the second line on the stick and it's so true. The hope and promise begins right then and it hurts like a bastard when it's gone.

As you say, if you weren't going to have another baby you wouldn't have been through all of this.

Please stick around. You're so kind and lovely and you know that we get it and that we're all here for you.

crazy I can't believe this has happened You must be feeling like crap and it's shit and so disappointing.

Conserve your strength and try and keep your chin up. Next cycle could be the one x

Oh fluff I'm so sorry, feel like I've put my foot right in

Thanks anne that bought tears to my eyes. Teamlentil you haven't at all. He's just a very selfish person at times. I'm not even allowed to talk about my peanut anymore he doesn't want me going on. To put his selfishness into perspective he's not always like this just half the time i asked him the other day to sort out the tv in the bedroom i couldn't get it to work. He ignored me I got in a strop because he'd already peed me off and i was having a bad day so threw my remote he told me i was controlling and thought of him as a slave for wanting help with the tv. Once i calmed down i threw at him that i was cook clean up after him sort his meals out for work ao who was the slave the next day he came creeping he can just be such a kid. and o know i was acting like a kid throwing the remote i just had a lot of anger that day made worse by him i will lol if i got my ov wrong and i ov on my 4th day of ewcm. Oh and this whole discussion started because i asked him to change the litter tray.

Anne it really is true about loving them thw moment you see that line how is that even possible. I look ar my dd and her caring nature amd makes me feel guilty as she would love to be a big sister. Everything she touches she kisses and cuddles including photos of loved ones she loves kids full stop even my scan pic on my phone she says baby and kisses it. But like i said the other day i know i am lucky to have her. Just my dream has been taken away and not by nature but by someone that's supposed to love me. And when I said o don't think i could stay his reply well if that's what you want to do. Says it all doesn't it.

Oh fluff that sounds so tough.

crazy I'm so sorry AF showed up. I agree that staying away from the FRERs next month might be a good idea.

Sorry fluff and crazy. Got first AF 27/28 date after Mc so thought I was back on track. This is making me doubt it though. I have no idea if my EPU is any good other than the fact that they never answer the phone! I spoke to my GP and he said no need to go if my bleeding stopped naturally, so I didn't. Will try and call again. Hope the bleeding goes away soon!

fluff that all sounds very rough. To me it sounds as if your DP might be someone who doesn't process difficult things, just represses them--and uses the defence mechanism of "not getting excited" in the same way. I'm no psychologist, mind! Relate have psychologists, though, and they have been very good to us in the past. I can recommend them for couples counselling, if you both think that would help. Maybe it'll help to sort the issues out separately from ttc and then including ttc, if that makes sense? Sending you hugs xx

On a different note folks, I've been finding yoga first thing in the morning hugely helpful for thinking positive! I've always done it as I have back problems if I don't stretch, but I was getting bored with sun salutations so I've changed to this youtube which also includes a bit of thinking about your intention for the day, how you want to be, etc. I've found it really good.

Thanks everyone, I've actually made my peace with it, more so than with the miscarriage as if I'd not tested so early, I'd never have known about it... it was obviously never going to be a viable pregnancy IYSWIM so I had my little cry when AF showed up and I'm okay now.
Not temping etc this month, just going to use opks to confirm ovias prediction of my fertile window and then I'm not going to poas until AF is late (if she is late this month).
I cannot deal with disappointment after disappointment and the chances of that are much lower if I stop pissing on every test I can get my hands on days after ovulation

Sorry crazy :(

I tested this morning, still a positive. I think I was hoping it'd be negative because I have hardly been bleeding, but it's only been 5 days. It's definitely faster though and I know my hormone levels are dropping because my insulin requirements are dropping too, just to add more fun to the mix it means I'm constantly adjusting at the moment.

Fainter, not faster

Thanks for the video WLMcI. I need to start getting to bed earlier and waking up in time to do more than brush my teeth and roll out of the house!

I gave in, like a chump, and poas first thing. BFN, of course. But it's slightly staved off the panic I was feeling about the whole thing. AF due Tuesday according to Ovia but it's all just guessing in't it.

Anyone else get loads of creamy CM when either pregnant or due af?

It was one of the main things that made me realise last month and it's happening again.

So much for keeping sane and not spending every minute of the day symptom spotting! Also, ahem, I've found that dtd takes on a whole other dimension at the moment, which has also happened to me before when pregnant. Is it a thing?

Think blood AF is coming on. Got some weird light coloured discharge when I wipe but is a little watery. Sorry tmi for a Friday morning! Was hoping I would have caught as we dtd in my fertile window but only MMC 4 weeks ago so probably silly to even get my hopes up. At least we can crack on next month and my body will have time to recover.

Sorry to hear that crazy i'm in the same situation as you. Atleast next month will be a clear month we can try properly.

anne you never know, still could be a chance especially with your symptoms! X

zyla it took me nearly 3 weeks to get a negative so hang in there