Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

[Miami81]

Hey. Just starting new thread. Hope the rest of you find it.

Not too bad, got heartburn, dizziness and feel so wiped out... can't wait for bedtime

Crazy
Hope you get through the rest of today ok and that the line gets clearer for you tomorrow. Symptoms sound promising as well.
I'm off out tonight to drink gin. I feel like af is coming (very early) not due til friday, but I suppose to be expected in the few cycles post mc.
I think we are tentatively going to get back to ttc next cycle. Feeling more positive and like if it is a third mc we would cope. But we have to have the hope that it is a take home baby next time round otherwise we wouldn't even try again.
Just been terrifying myself reading some of the adoption posts on here. Wow. I am in awe of the people who do that. But as DH says even if we do have a birth child ourselves there are no guarantees that it would be an easy child either.
Anyway sorry just my musings for the day.

Hi miami sorry if I'm wrong/have missed something but have you had 2 miscarriages? I'm in the same boat and one thing that has made me keen to try again straight away is that my GP said they don't refer for more tests unless you've had 3 or more, so I feel like even if I do mc again at least I'll be another step closer to working out why and hopefully solving whatever problem there is. Not sure of your history so maybe not helpful for you but I'm focusing on that.

Good luck crazy.

Thanks harriet I know a line is a line but I want a proper BFP that I don't feel like I'm imagining :(

May I join? I can't tell you how much lurking on here has helped over the past few weeks while I have been coming to terms with my mc and wanting to try again but not rush things too quickly. You are all so lovely and supportive! It has been so helpful knowing that I am not alone in this, although of course I am sorry any of us has to be here. We are ttc #1, got pg on cycle 3 or 4 (not sure if I count the first one!) and had a mc at 6+4 early Jan. First AF since has now arrived and it was such a relief, hoping my cycles now go back to normal and we can try again properly this month!

Welcome Orange. So sorry to hear of your loss.

Miami I hope you enjoyed your gin. You're right, you will survive a third miscarriage IF it happens, and I definitely hope it won't. For me, I definitely think the second was the hardest emotionally. And yes, that hope still has to exist for you to be able to start trying again.

I too have been reading on the adoption board. I like to think I would be able to adopt but it is a scary prospect and a decision that realistically I don't think you can make until you have totally given up on having your own child.

Crazy I hope you get a nice strong BFP soon too. Just wondering, is it worth stepping away from POAS for a few days and then hopefully you'll have a more definitive result?

I definitely felt like that after my second, Harriet. Unfortunately it seems to be taking longer and longer :( It only took one cycle the first time, three the second time (not counting cycle following m/c) but now we're on the fourth cycle post mc2, again, not counting the one immediately after.

Actually having worked that out it's only one more so it has given me some hope! This cycle has been really long - I didn't ovulate until CD28 because I was ill - so that's adding to it.

I use a site called Countdowntopregnancy and it does give you a "due date" every month

If I do get pregnant this month - which i doubt as I'm not sure we hit the fertile window at all (if we did, only once) - I'm sure there will be annoying discrepancies over my dates which is going to panic them, so that might be a bit of a pain.

Crazy sorry I can't see it on your pic but I believe you it's there in person! I had one like that with my first m/c. Fingers crossed it gets stronger over the next few days. The very weak ones can take longer to build up but that's not necessarily a bad sign.

Harriet
I managed to get referred to the recurrent
miscarriage clinic after my second mc due to family history and apparently anatomical issues (funny shaped uterus). Was there last week, epic wait for tests and results so we have decided not to get in natures way for a few cycles to see how we do. We both freely acknowledge that it could be further heartbreak but they have to base the statistics on someone.
Gin was good thanks emily felt nice to be out and normal. Was weird as one of the girls had a mc at Christmas of an unplanned pregnancy and she was really worried about telling me, but I was just like, well that's your road and I am really sorry that had to happen to you. She was mortified as she knows how much we want one and I managed to think, well that's just nature isn't it! I was able to sympathise with the physical discomfort and awfulness of it, but as she said herself she is clearly in a different place emotionally then I am.

Orange
Welcome and sorry for your loss. We try to support each other as best we can. Take your time, be kind to yourself and OH and good luck with it all. It is a scary thing but having everyone here has really helped me to get my head around what has happened a small bit.

emily think that's what I'm going to do, just gonna try my best to leave it til AF is due at least (although that's easier said than done)

We won't get referred until 3 even though DH has family history because they don't count family history of the Dad Even though WE KNOW what's likely to be causing it and this is a COMMON cause of miscarriage and can be passed down through either parent! Aaargh!! But breathe. It's obviously just meant that we wait a bit longer.

Oh Bertie that is the pits. I'm sorry. That sounds very unsupportive and unhelpful. When I went in asking about tests I wanted to know if there were any that we could get done privately, but once the gp had taken my history (and grandmothers, aunts, cousins and sisters) she thought there was a case for a referral to the rmc. We are lucky in a sense, but it has left me feeling very odd and the limbo continues.

Welcome Orange, sorry you've found yourself on this page. Hope you're doing ok.

Bertie, that is really annoying. Hope the next one sticks and that you don't end up needing the referral.

Miami, good you got your referral and also hope you have some good news soon. Hope your gin night was fun

Crazy, waiting is sensible advice but so hard to follow isn't it!!

bertie that is annoying - what do you think the cause is (if you don't mind saying)? There is no history of fertility problems in my side of the family but MIL had a few before DH (and then had 2 more kids with no issues).

He has a balanced translocation but we don't have any medical records of this (diagnosis too old) and they don't seem to have heard of it when I ask for tests now.

swim yes very hard especially when I have tests in the house :/

Hello to all you new ladies sorry you are here too.
crazy not too long to wait now until after is due.

I have a question I thought I ov. On Friday due to dramatic change in cm but today I had my ov pains which I don't always get but do most of the time. But I. Normally get change in cm and pains together never separate is this normal for others or could it just be because of mmc? It's not a big deal but really strange for me. I don't monitor what days I ov on normally but I know the day I do by symptoms. Just umming and ahhing if I am ov today if I should start ttc or still wait for first af.

Today was tough, I went to a close friends baby shower. I was looking at her wishing that it was me with the big bump looking forward to the imminent arrival.

I definitely wouldn't want a baby shower though, I hate being the centre of attention!

Fluffy
My ov pains and cm are slightly out of sync since mc (they were after the first mc as well). Think it is just a hormonal thing. As soon as mine synced up again we fell for the second time. I am going to acupuncture to try and get it sorted. I started checking my cervical position as well and it was in line with the ov pains. And temp rises.
Anyway I am sure you will be grand after first cycle.

Fx for you crazy.

Welcome, and sorry you find yourself here, orange.

Very frustrating for you Bertie.

Big excitement here as I got an ovulation sign from the thingy. I've never got on with OPK before (tried the cheap ones and apparently never ovulated, although I did get pg!!). I'm pleased to say that we made the most of it in advance (last night) so who knows...! My CM is all over the place so it's really reassuring to know I ovulated (day 19 after ERPC).

Sock
Well done for going to baby shower.

fluffy just seen your post. I've never noticed Ov pain but (sorry for TMI) I had tons of EWCM a few days ago but only ovulated today according to the monitor. I'm assuming things get a bit out of kilter hormonally.

Sock very brave of you. I don't think I could have gone.

Hello ladies, sorry to be joining you on here (ykwim) but thought it would be nice to have some support and share with others. Esp as in real life I'm surrounded by either new mums or those who aren't TTC so have no idea what it's like.

We aren't TTC yet. I had a stillbirth at 37 w a few weeks ago. Anyone tried conceiving after a stillbirth or late miscarriage? How long did you wait? Currently am 3 weeks postpartum and so desperate to try again. But my body is just not in a position to cooperate - think I will need at least a few months to recover.

This pregnancy was our first and conceiving was relatively easy - tried for 3 cycles with OPKs before getting the BFP. And no idea what went wrong - the post mortem said nothing was wrong with the baby and the pregnancy was classed as low-risk. While that is hard to process, I'm trying to take comfort from the fact that hopefully this means we can try again and it shouldn't happen again.

My gosh bisquick I'm so sorry for your loss. My friend had to terminate her pregnancy at 23 weeks due to major complications with baby she gave birth naturally she also had complications with that too. I'm sure she's been advised to wait 3 months for the fact of giving birth but so far she has decided to wait longer. I know it's still classed as an earlyish MC or whatever it's called when it's medical. Did the doc say anything about trying again?
Thanks miami good to know I might not be going mad it just really confused me I know you can ovulate twice but it's rare just threw me out totally.

Water that is exactly the same as me my pains only come for about an hour ish on what ever side I ovulate from. I never really noticed it until I got pregnant first time and I was confused why I only had cramps for an hour when they normally last 2half weeks ever since I've just known when I ov sock you were very brave. Hats off to you. Although I'm happy for others I really am I think why me and I also randomly cry at pregnant women or newborns. I remember when a girl at work lost her baby at 18w found out at 20w she came in to work and one of the women was really excited I was pregnant and being very over joyed I was just quiet then my friend walked in I felt awful she just wanted to get on with work and everyone didn't mention it to her then she had me stood there all fat. I felt so guilty. In the end I went to her gave her a cuddle and said sorry and had a little chat it's awful because you don't know what to say but I couldn't just say Hi and ignore her the rest of the day. Sorry for rambling on my mind is on overtime.