Ttc after miscarriage thread #8

[Miami81]

Hey. Just starting new thread. Hope the rest of you find it.

Yep I wouldn't have had any follow-up but still positive at almost 3 weeks post mc.
Phoned up and they were nice to me and did a scan.fluffiny I know what you mean about pressure,has never taken more than 1 cycle to conceive and most of the time we weren't even trying just seeing what happened, this feels like a whole different universe.Never in a million years did think I'd be sat here with a calendar going through dates,if I get a negetive test I could be pregnant by... or if not by.......
So sorry about your little one.
It's must be so hard but waiting but recovering properly will give the best possible start next time.

Hi WLMcI sorry you find yourself on this side with us too.

It is surprising how our OHs are able to help, I think during pg it is so visceral for us and unknown for them, but the minute they can see us in pain and/or bleeding it really hits home for them. Dh has been amazing.

and for everyone. It's the small things...

Hi ladies!! Crap to have to be on this thread but I guess that's just how we roll now!! I shall introduce myself:

Age: 25
TTC: no 1
Cycle: No idea! MC in July 2016 and I can honestly say this is the first cycle that I've been paying proper attention other than sticking stuff in an app!
CD: 19
MC: July 2016

Miscarried July at 9/10 weeks after some spotting and then sporadic heavy bleeds. Booked for a D&C but miscarried fully the night before so thankfully (!) didn't need it. Since then everything seemed normal- AF came back in 6 weeks, negative tests etc but had a blip before Christmas where I was only having 18 day cycles with no positive ovulation tests. Saw the dr and she said to give it a couple more cycles and see what happens- likely that I have slightly polycystic ovaries despite nothing picked up previously. I then completely freaked and convinced myself that that was the end of that.

However!! Today (on what should have been my due date) I have just got the first positive ovulation test I've had since the MC in July so maybe I'm not broken after all!! We aren't actually TTC since we get married in July but I am hopeful that we can try again soon!!

Sorry for the essay! (Waves)

Sorry to ask Anne but the one thing that is bothering me is how exposed I'll be?
Stupid I know and you'd think I 'd be over that kind of thing but can't quite get over it.

Strawberry I'm doing ok, I've come to accept that it wasn't meant to be, terribly cliched, I'm sorry, and am trying to see the glass as half full. I knew something was going to wrong so I guess I wasn't surprised - I didn't like have to unannounce pregnancy though. Hope your appointment with the doctor's goes well. I planned (shallow cough) to get pregnant again straight away but it didn't happen and I think that was for the best. My two boys really helped me through it and I found myself focusing on family time which kept me going.

Hello to all the newcomers - I've found this a really useful space to just put down some thoughts and hope you do too.

I'm on day 7 of a flashing smiley - it must be broken as I've been having sharp pains and cramping so I must be ovulating. Think I've covered myself but we shall wait and see. I've booked 3 mini holidays away with the family so looking forward to them.

Don't say sorry and please ask anything you can think. I'll have my phone around for hours and I'm off work tomorrow.

It's a sensible question and I didn't know what to expect. You'll have a gown and daft stockings on and they'll keep the gown over your top half the whole time. If you get cold in theatre they can pop a blanket on top.

They raised the bed up quite high and there was a big light above me and one where the surgeon was near my feet. Then they lower the bottom half of the bed and put your feet in stirrup holder things. Can't remember the order. But your legs will up and your feet quite wide apart and you're basically completely spread and uncovered. It'll feel like your arse is hanging off the bed but you'll be completely stable and still. It sounds bad but it's okay if you're prepared and it won't last long.

Ask them to talk you through it if you want them to. I found it helpful and she was explaining the process to her registrar. I got quite weepy, not for any particular reason at that point, and a nurse held my hand and wiped my face. They were all absolutely lovely.

So they'll get you in position and prepped and then do the local anaesthetic and use a suction thing. You'll hear a sucking type sound but it shouldn't be too loud. It was a bit sore but people have different experiences and it really didn't take that long. Maybe ten minutes or so. Once she was finished she did an internal scan which was a bit sore but really quick. And then she put an antibiotic suppository up my bum. Which I had been told about but was still unexpected!

Then all lowered down, covered over and wheeled back. Someone will do discharge paperwork and they'll make you have a drink and a biscuit. I wasn't up for either but they made me!

As other people have said, the staff will be nice and you don't need anyone there but I was just glad DH was there. Do you know how you're getting home? I got dressed and had a wee about 20 mins after getting back, did paperwork then went home. Bled a bit but they gave me a pad then.

I think I finally relaxed for the first time during the whole crappy protracted missed miscarriage thing when I got home, put my pjs on and sat on the sofa. Felt a bit tender the next day but stopped bleeding by the morning.

I hope that helps give you an idea rather than scares you. Just how it was for me anyway.

They'll probably give you the cervix opening suppositories half an hour before you go to theatre and some painkillers.

I haven't given birth so in comparison to that you'll probably find it a walk in the park. And once it's done you'll know this part is over x

That was mammoth. On answe to your question, really quite exposed. But it's all so medical you probably won't feel like it too much.

I really hope I haven't freaked you out.

Anne it's good to know you felt really well looked after whilst you had your procedure, I think that's important for others to know as its such a stressful and emotional time. Even though mine was under GA the staff were so amazing and I couldn't have asked for better care, never been an inpatient before either so was so surprised at how smoothly everything went.

Endmor I'm so sorry you are finding yourself on this thread. The ladies on here are so supportive and lovely. Good news that your body is getting back to where you want it to be as well. How are you doing? Congratulations on your upcoming wedding by the way, lovely news :)

Emily86 my friend also had a dating scan today and I couldn't have been happier or more excited for them, it was actually really lovely to see the scan photo and strangely made me more positive about TTC again :)

No you haven't freaked me out and your answer should really be on the leaflet they give out because it's the kind of thing you want to know but feel stupid and vain asking the doctors.Also I had dd in the pool so no one saw anything and had no internals for either ds or dd so am probably less prepared than some.
You really summed up how I am hoping to feel afterwards as well.
Being able to draw a line and move on.Have really felt in limbo the last month.
Thankyou for a complete answer and hope it wasn't to much to ask from you.

Okay, phew. It was quite cathartic writing it all down and I wish someone had talked me through it. I was booked for an ERPC so under a GA but the surgeon changed her mind on the day and I then had no idea what to expect.

I know it sounds daft but the most shocking things of all were how many people there were in theatre and how bright it was.

For some daft reason I'd pictured it with just the surgeon and maybe one other and dark but for one bright light. I'd been off my face on pain killers for 5 days by then and barely sleeping so that's my excuse! But then how many people have surgery where they're awake.

There were at least 10 people in there. No sodding clue why. You'll probably talk to the anaesthetist, the surgeon and a nurse or two. They'll want to be in and out asap and they'll want you to be calm and comfortable. I really panicked that I was shaking so much I'd stop them getting it done but you're well secured on the bed and they've done it all before.

You could be quite hungry afterwards if you haven't eaten during the day beforehand so take a cereal bar or something light to have when you're out.

Dark with one light and just the consultant and a a nurse was just how my brain pictured it too.
Definitely a question I wouldn't have thought to ask but something I will be asking.(Who will be in there?)
Why is there no proper information out there?
All the hospital leaflets and even the Miscarriage. Association website are all rubbish.
None of the details that really matter.
What did people do before forums like this?
Wow.Don't know where that rant came from but felt good to say it.
Annejust to say you have really helped someone this evening.
Won't be telling anyone in irl but was so scared I couldn't go through with the procedure last time.Got as far as the waiting room.Your answer means I can talk myself through it as it happens and that is what I needed.

I'm so pleased it's helpful.

And I know this is a ttc thread but a lot of people find themselves here at different stages so hope everyone else hasn't found my sharing too intrusive.

If you think of anything else noroom do ask or PM me. Other people may be along in the morning with different tips or recollections.

And it's a good bloody question why more information on this stuff isn't available. We've all got so used to the unanswered questions and crappy waiting and uncertainty, feeling lost, in limbo and in the dark with a lot of it.

We've all said it before, but this place has kept me sane when literally no one else understands.

I have a scan on Saturday to make sure everything looks ok and I miscarried fully. I'm shitting myself if I'm honest. I feel almost back to normal physically, stopped bleeding within a week after the mmc and don't have any tummy aches but I just can't get it out my head that there's a possibility that I'm not ok. Guess I just have to wait and see.

I'm going to try and get back to the gym next week and try and shift some of this imaginary baby weight while I wait for the all clear to try again. I fear I might lose my mind waiting.

Got my bfn this morning so glad it's all over.

Sorry you're stressing mouse. Have you had a bfn since? That's a good sign it's all gone but can take a while to get completely out of your system.

Keeping busy before your scan is a good plan but go gently with exercise. You're off work still I think? Can you have a nice long walk or go to the cinema or something nice as a distraction and to entertain or look after yourself?

Ladies can I ask, did you have a letter or anything the drs/hospital about going for a check up. I had a Erpc last Monday and haven't heard anything so do I just assume everything went OK and I don't need a follow up appt? Xx

User mine was just over 2 weeks ago they said if I didn't have a negative test by 3 weeks then ring them otherwise there is no follow up. I think they should do a follow up anyway.

Thanks fluff can I ask have you had a negative result yet? X

Now, I acknowledge I work in a hospital but I just walked past 3 pregnant women in the space of 20 seconds! Seriously?!

Hi all, sorry Im so rubbish at keeping in contact on here, I have been lurking though and hopefully caught up to where everyone is up to (I think).

I had my RMC appt today and to be honest Im gutted. From reading people's experiences on here they all seemed so lovely and I would probably have the results in a couple of weeks.

My appt was the first one of the day at 9am - I arrived to be told they were running 75 mins behind, how is that even possible?

Then I had my family history taken and was given a sheet to take for a follow up appointment, and scooted down a corridor to a receptionist who told me they don't have any availability until the beginning of may, but they'd be in touch with a time and date, This all took place in around 15 mins, 5 of those minutes were spent telling me I was in the uk's leading Miscarriage clinic and through their research programme I could volunteer to take part. I then waited 45 mins for bloods to be taken and then I left.

Once home I recieved a phone call to let me know my next appointment was the 27th April. 10 Whole weeks away. What the fuck was the point in even going. I absolutely hate that hospital, what a fucking Joke. I asked what would happen if I were to get pregnant again sooner, they told me to just carry on as normal, so basically fuck off and if it happens again, then so be it.

I just feel so totally let down by the place, I was expecting a bit of a wait between tests and results, I had been looking forward to today to start the ball rolling, but since I went to the gp last to when I get the results will be 5 months. sorry for moaning and sorry for swearing, just needed a vent.

User I haven't tested yet. I was going to wait 3 weeks because that's what they told me to do. But I'm going to get a test tomorrow and see what it says. Then if it's not negative I'll wait till Wednesday

Buddha sounds like you've had a crap day. Sending you hugs I've never been there so wouldn't know what it's like.

Oh buddah
That sounds epically crap.
Whereabouts are you if you don't mind me asking? I was reading about Coventry/ Warwick and thinking that if the tests my rmc have done are inconclusive we might pursue going there. £360 not cheap but apparently you get seen pretty quickly.

Thankyou,

Im in Liverpool Miami our clinic here is 1 of the uk's finest don't you know! So fine they have zero compassion at all. When all you want is answers and you're told to wait another 10 weeks, its disgraceful.

Its not the place I chose, I would rather have travelled the 30 mins to the next nearest hospital which has a much better reputation but somewhere in my 1st appt being cancelled and made again they switched hospitals. The person who took my history did say it looked as if it could be a placenta problem as they usually end around 6 weeks just when the placenta kicks in, so hopefully the results will show something that can be cured with a low dose aspirin - which I think ill start taking anyway.

Can I join in the shit day ness.TMI warning.
MVA went fine.Once I asked the SHO to leave and let the consultant do the procedure after she told me put a gown on so I didn't get my clothes 'soaked in blood'.
Didn't happen.MVA really is a calm and relatively pain free way to go.
But dp is being an epic arse today.Was apparently couldn't remember what time I had to be there despite being told twice.Can he remember what time his football kick off on Sat afternoon.Oh yes he can.
Has now gone for a walk leaving me to cook dinner for dc because I am apparently being a martyr for not explaining by txt 15 mins after I got out of recovery what he had to do them for dinner despite being in Tesco with me when I bought it this morning and him putting it through the till because I had to leg it to the appointment.
Seriously don't know what has got into him.

Ohh *noroomonbroom that doesn't sound good about your OH. Mines being an arse tonight too....I was crying over something silly and he said why are you so emotional...like duhhhh Jesus I've had the shittish 2 weeks and you're asking me why I'm emotional! Argh Men! Glad today went as well as it can go.