TTC after miscarriage thread #7

[SayItIsntSo1]

Hello,

Starting a new one as we've maxed out the #6 thread.

Hoping MrsY, Brenna, Rose, Legend, Miami, Bertie, Insufficiently and all the others find it!

Let it be our lucky no.7 thread for BFPs

Miami stories like your friend help give me strength to keep trying, that it will be possible for me to have another child eventually even if it's a long road to get there.

Sing fingers crossed it was just implantation rather than anything more, hope you are doing ok.

Welcome Sarah, sorry you are here, hope it won't be for long but as long as you are this is a lovely bunch of very supportive ladies. Hope you have good support in RL too.

Had acupuncture again today, apparently my pulses have improved lots from when I first went to her which is good. I had a good cry about all sorts that is going on with ttc, work and family and then had some great relaxation and focus on ovulation acupuncture. I really do find it so helpful a talking to someone, like therapy I suppose, Fingers crossed it's doing something for my fertility too!

Everyone has been very chatty today!

Sarah Don't be daft, no need to apologize hun. Me and OH decided to take a break about 6 months ago but we decided last night to start ttc again next cycle. We'd been up and down and prodded and poked for 4 years at that point and I really couldn't take anymore. So we stopped actively trying and 'tryed' to enjoy the break.
Everyone's different and grieves and does things at their own pace. But in the mean time we're here and like i said, everyone's been really nice

Thanks for the kind thoughts and words. I'm keeping everything crossed but have had some random sharp stabby pains internally, feels like maybe in my cervix, which can't be good surely?

I'm trying to think positively but then also not get my hopes up too much. Doesn't help that work is super stressful and I had run in with supervisor yesterday.

If it's going to happen I'd rather it just got on with it, I hate the uncertainty. At least they'll look into it now as this will be the 3rd one.

Hello to others and sorry you are all here too.

Heading to bed now as I'm exhausted from a very emotional day.

It's interesting reading about folk taking a break from - you know - actually TRYING and I can't help but think more whether the overthinking and super sensitivity about what our bodies are doing is just common to anyone trying again after miscarriage or if we are all just in the I really really really really REALLY WANT THIS BIGTIME boat together - and what impact does the mind have on the body?

Ps; I'm rambling because I'm a bit pissed on two glasses of wine, an eggnog and very little tea. Gotta get through this AF somehow.

Pps; I also had a word with myself earlier - DP and I got together in Feb 2015 and (I can be honest with you girls I think) actually never used contraception. I didn't "fall" until the May so that was 3 months.

So just because I got pregnant the first time post DD that we didn't use contraception but then sadly lost that baby doesn't mean there's a problem per se right?

Again - sorry - bit pissed. You lot are my friggin saviours, honestly (hic)

And I'm not 13 days post surgery, I'm 6 days post surgery! Bad day today!

Thank you everyone for your kind words, I have lots of support in rl, but it is lovely to have some virtual support also. Particularly as a lot of rl support is from people who have never been through the same so it difficult for them to understand and I don't want to keep on saying the same things over and over.

Good luck to all those that are hoping for BFP before Christmas!!

Sing really wishing you good things tonight. Keep your heart up for as long as you can. Hope you're ok.

Morning ladies
I hope today is a brighter start for us all.
Myself and OH have agreed that we are going to give it a couple of months, to deal with the grief but also just to be us for a few months. This ttc rollercoaster causes a lot of stresses and strains on a relationship.
So anyway I will probably step back from mn for a while, but will keep an eye on how you are all doing. Best of luck.

Morning all, so far no more spotting but quite a bit of watery discharge (sorry tmi) and my back is aching whicb makes me think it's going to start properly later. Trying not to think about it and not go to the loo to check ever 5mins. Not achieving that very well so far!

Hope everyone else is having good days.

Sing sending you positive vibes

Feeling a bit more positive today, bit of online retail therapy plus binge watching The Crown is helping with that!

Morning all! Finally find the new thread.

I've only posted once or twice in previous post. I had MC in August last year and November this year.

Me and DH starts TTC again after the 2nd MC in early November. It is a bit exhausting to POAS for OPK again every morning and had to wait for the result which takes 5-10 mins but always feels like hours cause I am usually only half awake (I use CB Advanced Digital, (does anyone experience this waiting time thingy as well).

It is almost Christmas and we are heading to his hometown next week. I've packed couple of pregnancy tests cause I'm supposed to get (but hopefully not) my AF on the 27th this month. So just in case, we decide to bring those. It is kinda sad, cause last month I thought this would be a cheerful Christmas cause we've TTC for quite some time and we thought this Christmas would be special. I keep thinking if only that could stick, there is no need to pack the pregnancy tests and period pads in the luggage.

Sing - hopefully all will turn out well for you. Sending you lots of positive vibes.

Sarah - I had a bit of retail therapy as well yesterday. Making excuses that it is that time of the year, anyway

Hi Sarah and Holly*. So sorry for you losses. After 3 and all the tests in the universe with no clue as to why the only advice I can offer regarding how you keep going is that you only take a day or two at a time. Just keep plodding on with your head down.

I am really hoping for you sing.

We did manage to DTD last night, but there was no romance or silky nighties involved in the end. I had texted DH to warn him 'tonight is the night', then I went to my last class for one of this years courses after work and toddled off home to get togged up. 10 minutes after getting in the house (about 9.30pm), after we had cuaght up about our days and how the car got on in the garage etc. I got a phone call from my friend saying her Dad was going to be taken into hospital and could I follow the ambulance in with her mum, then bring her home. Of course. I offer to go straight over but get told it may be a while yet. So we run off to bed to see if we can squeeze it in in time. But too much pressure for DH, so no hopes. We decide that I will phone him when I am heading home from hosiptal and he will take a little blue pill and be ready for me getting home. Next text from friend says that the ambulance wants her dad to go straight to the ward, but they need the gp to come out first to refer him, then the ambulance can come back and take him "QUICK, TAKE THAT LITTLE BLUE PILL NOW!!!!!" DTD about 20 minutes after that and next text arrived just before we finished. I told him to keep going regardless, then off I headed. We finally got her dad to the hospital for 1.30am. Today I am shattered.

Good morning everyone, what a busy night!
First and foremost Sing have you called your GP/EPU? Might be worth getting an appointment asap for an early scan to see what's happening? At least you'll know one way or the other? When my spotting started I was two weeks away from my 12 week scan and GP asked if I'd be able to wait and I'm so glad I didn't, as I would have gone nuts! Keeping everything crossed for you

Sarah welcome and sorry you're here maybe taking some time over Christmas/New Year to try and relax and come to terms with what's happened would be good? Perhaps not actively ttc but, not preventing it either?

Legend you are a legend and do make me chuckle, dont' worry at all about your late night ramblings! I think there is definitely something about ttc which puts a lot of pressure on relationships and you hear so many stories of people who stop trying and then all of a sudden it works out because they were more relaxed about it....unfortunately being relaxed is far easier said that done, I know!

I feel a little guilty that I'm so far behind you all in that I have only been ttc for 3 months and "only" had one loss...everything I've read says that after a loss there is every reason to hope that you will have a successful pregnancy next time, and I know that happens but I also know it doesn't and these things really can be just bad luck. It makes me realise just how lucky I was with my first pregnancy to end it with a gorgeous, perfect little boy (albeit after an emergency section and him having a tongue tie which took weeks to sort...perhaps he wasn't all that perfect after all!) lol

Miami totally understand that taking a break is the right thing for you to do, and I hope you have a relaxing few months, check back in every now and then and let us know how you're going?

Brenna what a kerfuffle! Well done for managing to DTD around all of that!

Miami I hope the break gives you and you OH the space that you need to grieve for your previous losses and enjoy some time together. You know where we are when you're ready to come back.

oliversmummy please don't feel guilty about that. A loss is a loss and is shit no matter how long you've been trying.

I'm having a bit of a wobbly day today. I don't think it was helped by the fact that I had a dream that people thought I was about 20 weeks pregnant and it turned out I was just fat ! Stupid brain processing things!

Beans Yes, you're right, at least thats what ive been told by my doctor, that at least I can get pregnant its just the staying pregnant bit they need to work on, I'm hoping they will get to the bottom of it and as you say its your 3rd you should be in the same boat with going for tests etc.

Olivers Are you still testing positive? I thought id test this morning and its still showing up as positive. I had the Mc start a week ago today, ive already been to the dr and she just referred me to the clinic, she didnt do any pg tests there so im wondering what the epu said to you about still testing and when it should go back to negative? How long does it take?

Hi Buddah I tested positive yesterday, 12 days post MVA. The EPU didn't say anything to me about testing, I've just taken it upon myself, as I thought it would help to date a pregnancy if we managed to catch quickly...They did a scan after the operation in hospital though, so I guess as they knew everything had gone it wasn't something they were worried about? I know it can take up to 4-6 weeks though for the hormone to leave your system, it can take that long for af to come back, so I guess your cycle won't kick start itself again until the hcg levels are low enough?

Thanks Emily I'm having a wobble today too, completely unrelated but had a little cry about how upset my DS would be if I died - NO idea where that came from but almost started crying at work thinking about it!

thanks for the info olivers. Suppose i'm just trying to kid myself a little

Buddha I've been told I need to test 3 weeks after my surgery (for ectopic pregnancy) so think it is likely to take a while for the hormone levels to settle down

Olivers thank you for your kind words and advice. I think we will do exactly what you said, try to enjoy ourselves over Christmas and think about it in the New Year, but certainly not try or prevent in the meantime. I'm assuming it may take a while for my cycle to get back to normal anyway so that will take the matter out of our hands for a while anyway!

Also I know you mean about feeling lucky about previous experiences. I fell pregnant with my dd almost straight away and had a trouble free pregnancy (ended in emergency c-section but not due to any major complications). Therefore my experience this time (ttc for a year, 1 early miscarriage and 1 ectopic) has been a bit of a shock.

Hi all,
It's really comforting reading your stories although I feel awful that you're all going through this.
Having a bad day as it should have been the day of my 12 week scan but instead have got first AF since mc. Very heavy and painful and feeling sorry for myself at the shittiness of the whole situation.
Was hoping that maybe I would fall pregnant agaIn straight away and see the new year in with a BFP but I suppose that was just wishful thinking. Xx

I'm glad I'm not the only one Sarah...just goes to show that it's not as easy as it looks, this getting pregnant business!

Sending hugs Eleven that does sound like a crappy day, maybe you'll be celebrating Valentine's day with a bfp?

Oh Eleven I have that day coming next week and am already dreading it. Are you able to have a bit of time out to lick your wounds today? Sending you

Oliver it really isn't always as easy as you think it's going to be. When I was growing up I took it for granted that I would be able to have as many children as I / we wanted to have, I didn't even contemplate that it might not happen

Thank you ladies.
Luckily I've managed to work from home today. I'm just fed up with feeling fed up if you know what I mean. I know it could be so much worse but there's just this lingering sadness which I don't think my dp or friends understand. Once the bleeding stops and you're back in work, I think everyone just assumes you're over it.
Roll on 2017 and fx for double pink lines for us all!! Xx

Eleven I completely understand what you mean. I'm quite grateful that I've been signed off for 2 weeks due to the surgery as it'll force me to have some time at home "recovering". I'm fine with the physical recovery, it's the emotional side that's harder to deal with

Have been speaking to my chum who has PCOS and therefore quite random periods.

Combination of ov sticks and banging her DH senseless around what she thought was the ovulation time = pregnant within one month of starting to TTC.

Yes I know that everyone is different but Ive had a read of the "speem meets egg plan" and am taking my sticks away with me on holiday tomorrow.

What I think may have done for me this past month was that I'm confident my FW was nicely split between DP having the vomiting bug and me then getting it. I couldn't jump on him when he was at deaths door poor guy.

Also; lifestyle adjustments coming after the festive season along with the other sixty million people in the U.K.. I drink way too much coffee. Sometimes I smoke. I don't eat enough green leafy veg. My BMI shows I'm a teeny bit overweight. I've not been active for weeks now since pulling a leg muscle badly. Ive just turned 35. Shit gets real then and it's time for me to now wake up and smell the (decaf) coffee to give myself a fighting chance.