Absolutely Buddahbelly, good to have people to share with but I'm sorry you're here too. When I had my ERPC (which was actually an MVA, I was awake, still not sure what the difference is though), they took some tissue to test. Haven't had the results back yet and not sure whether to chase the hospital or assume they'll be with the RMC when we get there. Have you had any tests done? Sorry, not completely up on everyone's situations yet.
I know what you mean Miami, our break is imposed by the other things but the feeling of panic about time frames is the same! Do you agree with DH about the lifestyle changes needing time or do you think he also might be feeling a bit fragile after what you've been through and needs a break to deal with that? It was only after the procedure, which was 5 shit days after we had our awful scan experience, that I started wondering how my DH was really doing. I'd asked him throughout if he was alright but I was so wrapped up in the pain and fear and horror and heartbreak of what I was going through that, while I knew he was devastated at the loss of our baby and all of our hopes and dreams at that point, I didn't really think about how awful it must have been for him watching me go through it all.
He made drinks, refilled hot water bottles, held my hand, rubbed my back, took notes at the hospital appointments (medical management failed), handed me vitamins and painkillers and generally looked after me and was amazing. But it wasn't him literally going through it all and when we spoke about it afterwards he said he thought I was going to die. I think I sort of laughed before I realised he meant it! It's fucking awful losing a baby, but it's a different kind of awfulness watching your partner/wife doing it and not being able to do much.
We decided that the worry about a future loss won't get any less with waiting, and if I get pregnant again we'll do our best to travel hopefully. But everyone's different and your DH may be feeling a bit battered, and channelling it into proactive steps about things you can change. I don't know, just thinking aloud.
We've had several chats about we'll do if they tell us to wait specific amounts of time for tests. I've read loads about what they MIGHT do and some of them have to be done 6 or 8 weeks apart, so I guess it makes sense to not be pregnant when they do them. I'm torn, on the one hand I'm desperate to crack on, but on the other, what if I got pregnant again and then we lost it, when if I hadn't we'd have found out why it's happening, and I could have used the weeks of the future lost pregnancy to be taking or something, rather than effectively wasting them on trying to do it all myself again! Not sure that makes any sense.
When I spoke to the woman at the clinic I asked what they advise about trying or waiting when you have an appointment booked with them and she said it's entirely up to you and how you feel - so certainly not a blanket ban! - but that if it happens they have to be your first phone call so they can see you immediately and try and give you stuff to help. Not sure what if they haven't seen you before or done any tests, but she said it happens quite frequently.
I'm holding your hand x