TTC after miscarriage thread #7

[SayItIsntSo1]

Hello,

Starting a new one as we've maxed out the #6 thread.

Hoping MrsY, Brenna, Rose, Legend, Miami, Bertie, Insufficiently and all the others find it!

Let it be our lucky no.7 thread for BFPs

Thank you

Can I please hang around for a while? Despite drugs and tests and stuff it doesn't feel real at all and I can't bear to get too attached to the idea for a while.

We used preseed for the first time this cycle. Could have been anything that helped but that was one thing that was different.

Congratulations Anne, fingers crossed for a smooth ride this time around.

I had forward the idea of a necklace or bracelet with DH but he said it would make him sad every time he saw it. Thinking of getting myself a butterfly pendant or something but maybe just not telling him what it symbolises to me. Is that bad?

Oh wow anne massive congratulations. Great news. Fingers and toes crossed for you.
Our appointment is next Friday. Hoping it is as positive an experience as you had.
Leigh I echo what the others have said. My DH did not cover himself in glory in the midst of latest mc and was being a bit of a prick about the inconvenience of having to go to the hospital. I had a massive screaming, crying fit about it and it ended up that he was super scared for me, hated going to the hospital as it felt like every time we went there was for bad news etc etc. So we have agreed to try and be more understanding of each other's ups and downs through this. It is really really hard though.
I think once he realised as well that some of the stuff that was coming out of my mouth was entirely hormone related (most of the massive middle of the night crying) he calmed down a lot and was massively supportive.

miami thank you. I went in to complete melt down last night. I was a wreck. DH was worse than useless. Telling me to get over it and that it was 'all about me' and I should get a grip. He makes me feel like I can't show any upset because he'll be angry.

He's apologised today and accepted that he's being selfish because he doesn't want to see me upset as it makes it harder for him. Time will tell if his apology means anything!

That doesn't sound very supportive of him leigh

swim I don't see any issue with that.

Anne congratulations, defo stick around if you find it safer. The pregnant after MC thread is also lovely, I went there last time.

DH has finally turned around and said I should pursue ADHD medication. I was diagnosed about 6 weeks before we started trying last year and I'd literally just gone through all the testing to get approved for medication when I found out I was pregnant the first time. I asked my doctor for advice and she said they would not prescribe if I was TTC. So I've been waiting all this time and now I think we're going to go for that... but not completely stop TTC I don't think. But I'll be testing early every month just in case. I have to see what they say though.

Leigh, hope the apology does mean something. It's hard enough without feeling you can't let out what you're feeling. I know that is a massive generalisation but I think if DH/DPs can't fix the problem, they just get angry :-(.

Bertie, Hope you get good advice from your doctor. Sounds like a sensible plan.

swim that's exactly right. He's frustrated he can't fix it

Congratulations Anne that's wonderful news, so pleased for you

Leigh sorry to hear it's been a bit of a strain for you both. My DH has been good but he announced Saturday he was going to watch his local football team which means he'd be out for hours. I was having a really emotional day (I don't really get many of them as I've tried my best to be really practical about everything) I think it all just came out and I bawled my eyes out in the shower! He seemed put out at first when I asked him to stay home with me and was a bit distant and quiet but we decided to go out together and ended up having a nice day out which took our minds off it and gave us quality time we desperately needed.

Congratulations Anne

So I'm being referred for an HSG. I am terrified. I hate all types of gynae procedures and faint at even discussions of them (seriously). This is sending my anxiety and stress through the roof. I will do it though. Have to wait a couple of weeks until day 7-10 of my cycle.

I've been googling which is baddddddd. Lots of stories from it being painful and uncomfortable to people getting a BFP immediately after, something about clearing you out makes you superfertile...

A huge congratulations to @AnneLovesGilbert

Congratulations @annelovesgilbert... have everything crossed for you, glad your consultant seems to know his eggs too 😭😭

Well AF has shown up this morning, 8 and a half weeks after the MC and 4 weeks after the whole retained products debacle started. Don't think I've ever been so happy to see the witch!

Swim I don't think there's anything wrong with buying a necklace and not telling DH what it is for. It may well be that further down the line you'll be able to share it with him.

Hi ladies well I messaged on here a few weeks back looking for some friendly words of optimism or advice I don't know really... seems I was having no luck conceiving again After my mmc in may despite always getting caught on first try with my previous pregnancy's. ..well yesterday I did a cheap test 2 days before I'm due (not sure what made me test tbh) and got a faint + did a clear blue early detection test again just a faint + kicking myself for testing early now im a obsessive mad woman paranoid I've picked up on a chemical pregnancy any one got any advice except maybe step away from the pee stick 🙈

Iecgi
Well a plus is a plus. Congratulations. Don't be worrying about chemicals and things. You are pregnant. Maybe leave it a few days before testing again so that you can see a stronger line. I know there are some tests that are more sensitive then others (frer's and clear blues?) but really I would try to give your body a chance to get all those lovely pregnancy hormones pumping. All the best. Fingers crossed for you.

Iecgi
Also all the tests have different sensitivities so you will see different lines on different brands.

Congratulations, anne!!! AFAIAC, do hang around.

Congratulations, lecgi. Now walk away from the pee sticks

Me, I'm still spotting so not that eager to DTD. So nothing likely to happen this cycle

lentil I'm the same. Still spotting. Feeling very fed up that my body has let me down when according the the nurse this is the month I'm most fertile. Stupid shitty body. On the plus side, we've just booked a ski holiday for next month. I'll be drinking wine and eating cheese and trying not to think "I should be 5 months pregnant and not sounds this"

I might even have a ciggie

Doing* not sounds

Now waiting to miscarry for a fourth time.

The clinic called to say my HCG is falling so just have to wait for it to happen, hopefully as soon as possible.

All of my tests have come back clear. Why the fuck can't I stay pregnant?

I feel like my head is going to explode.

Leigh. For what it's worth I think the whole more fertile straight after is utter clap trap. I think loads of women through time have been so sad and desperate straight after a mc that they jumped their partners repeatedly and ended up with a bfp. But if you aren't physically and emotionally there you can't force it to!!

Oh no. Anne I am so sorry.

Anne I'm so sorry hun

Oh Anne, I am so so sorry. No words.

Miami I also think it is clap trap. Took 10 months from miscarriage 2 for my 3rs BFP. That doesn't seem very super fertile to me, was the longest stint of all 3 periods of TTC so far. I also think it adds to the worry and the thoughts of 'what's wrong with me?!' if it doesn't happen.

miami and emily the midwife said it in my case because I had to have a surgical termination so they physically opened my cervix which then takes a few weeks to close. I think it's probably rubbish for a 'normal' miscarriage

anne I'm so sorry. You must be so fed up