TTC after miscarriage thread #7

[SayItIsntSo1]

Hello,

Starting a new one as we've maxed out the #6 thread.

Hoping MrsY, Brenna, Rose, Legend, Miami, Bertie, Insufficiently and all the others find it!

Let it be our lucky no.7 thread for BFPs

Happy birthday emily86, there's no such thing as too much cake

Theotherend, did they say the size of the follicle? But to have a follicle i would say yes you are gearing up to ovulate soon. Good luck!

Happy Birthday Emily! I hope you've had a lovely day and have been spoilt! Xx

Thank you for the kind birthday wishes ladies. Owl there is such a thing is too much cake when you've made yourself feel slightly sick! Must exercise more self control! Fortunately I have emptied out sufficiently for a nice meal out with DH later. Going to treat myself to a glass or two .

Socks that sounds promising. From what I can remember from medical school you get lots of follicles in the lead up to ovulation and then the best one takes over and gets bigger and then releases an egg. It was a long time ago that I learnt about it mind! Maybe it was the big one that they could see? I guess it might be hard for them to say if you were about to ovulate or had recently.

Happy birthday @emily86

I got a tattoo just after my MMC - a butterfly for the one who got away

@LittleFox10 no, they didn't say how big the follicle was. It was such a relief to hear that everything is back to normal. Even makes the undignified internal scan ok.

I've been to the memorial service this morning and I'm glad I went. They did a really good job of acknowledging our lost ones as babies and making it alright to feel sad and grieve.

Daddysgirl your tattoo sounds lovely. I'm feeling excited and nervous for mine. It's my first tattoo so I'm a little worried about how painful it is going to be. Especially as I'm getting it on my ribcage so not the most padded area.

How did you get on anne I was due on yesterday, but had no symptoms at all for the past week of anything, no sore boobs, no headaches nothing indicating either BFP's or BFN's so I hesitantly took a test - negative, then af arrived literally 5 minutes later. If that is not taking the piss then I dont know what is.

Like you said I was just ambling along nicely but I have my heart set of giving birth this year so have 2 more months of trying and have gone slightly manic with my charts and apps

@emily86 Mine was a coverup of something I already had and it was on my shoulder so quite painful, the bonier the area the more it hurts. The good news is that the pain is intermittent as they stop/start a lot so it's bearable.

I'm glad your service has helped you.

@Buddahbelly Please don't do what I did and plan for a baby within the year as here I am depressed with a feeling that I've lost a year of my life (it's over a year later now). The best advice I can give you is to not set a date/target and just relax and enjoy the time that you are 'not' pregnant so plenty of alcohol, pate, hot tubs and holidays!

You're right Daddysgirl, the pain was bearable. The birds are a little bigger than I had imagined but over all I am happy with it. And DH likes it too.

I also agree with it being best not to set deadlines. I did that a lot until a few months after my second miscarriage. I found it just added to the stress and increased my sense of failure. And yes, definitely make the most of alcohol, smelly cheese, holidays etc. DH and I have said that for as long as we don't have a family we may as well make the rest of our lives as good as we can.

Anne, how did you get on at your clinic appointment?

Emily I'm glad the service went well today.
Yep I know what you all mean about the within the year thing. It was this time last year that we started trying and it just sucks that we are here now with no baby and lots of heartache. I keep obsessing about having a baby before Christmas. I realise now that it just wishful thinking and just setting myself up for more upset.
I have promised DH that we can book a holiday once we have had our rmc appointment.
In other news I seem to be just about finished AF only arrived on Sunday!! Also 27 day cycle so I am taking that as a sign that all my vitamins and exercise are paying off (pre mc cycles were between 23 and 26).

Hi girls & welcome newbies sorry to hear about your losses ❤️

My ovulation seems all over the place Ovia app has switched about - does that happen? I was getting negative OPKs & on the last day of my fertile week I got a smiley face. Then I actually think nah this must be wrong 🙈 Anyway I'm on holiday now AF due start of Feb every time I drink or each etc I'm thinking oh I might be pregnant 🙈 Also family member told me she was pregnant last week too😏 Happy for them but u do feel a tad jealous

Thank you @daddysgirl it's so hard trying to stay relaxed though, for us it's actually been closer to 3 years trying and 5 mcs along the way.
So yeah these days I'm getting a lot more desperate 😀

Feeling a bit fed up. Still bleeding on and off which has stopped BD with my OH. Frustrating as the OPKs haven't changed from an almost positive in ages (I think almost positive is normal for me).

Went to the GP today who wants the early pregnancy unit to rescan me but I can't bring myself to go back there. Last time as I was waiting to hear the results of bloods to confirm the miscarriage this lady came out flaunting her scan around yelling how amazing everything was. I burst into tears and one of the nurses had to ask her to be a bit more aware of others. I've decided as the bleeding has slowed I will go if it starts again.

Blood tests show a low phosphate which I think is to do with vitamin D so need that rechecking too and my mum has just been diagnosed with osteoporosis.

Mucus doesn't make any sense i had some EWCM but mixed in with white clumpy stuff (sorry TMI) so I can't chart that and my temperatures are all over the place so that's no good either!

I also still feel really nauseous again which I have no idea what that's about!

I'm destined just to not understand my body. Sorry for the rant! Needed to get it all off my chest!

How is everyone else doing?!

Totally understand the stress & sadness when TTC & especially after a while & MC but after seeing fertility doctor this week, it's like a lightbulb moment.

It's extremely difficult not to be stressed but I am in a bit of denial with it by saying I'm only stressed & down when AF arrives. That's a lie. I'm stressed all month really. I put plans on hold, I plan what activities I do, I plan bd (we all do), I also plan my pregnancy as if it's occurred. This has more than likely caused my stress hormones to be all over the place & so it's not surprising I don't know my own body anymore & understand why it's failing me - I'm not helping it!

So it's no planning anymore, no OPKS & no planned bd. Just regular bd & relaxing where possible to take my mind off the whole thing (although I know I can't completely forget it all). Worth a try. I cannot possibly live another year like last year though

Daddysgirl

I think I need to follow suit and get rid of the OPKs and stop monitoring things.

It's so difficult as its one element of control we have...

I know three people who went as far as IVF and as soon as they stopped trying they conceived and had healthy babies!

@88claire how awful re: woman with her scan. I'm sure many women are ignorant to the fact there are allsorts of conditions being treated in the same place. I had to endure a pregnant lady being scanned before my second scan to confirm MC. Very hard to swallow but she was obvs completely unaware. I just put my head down to hide my sadness. I can understand you not wanting to go back for a rescan. Just give it time but give it a thought if bleeding continues as it may lead to complications if the MC was incomplete.
However, your GP should be able to check to see if your cervix if closed though. She did for me

@88claire Totally agree about the control. It's gonna be hard. I also know my cycle well now so hard not to plan. I need to stop stressing my body out more though.

I'm going in a hot tub this weekend too. It's been over a year coz of bloody Internet info telling me it's bad for conception. I shall drink to excess & eat pate & cheese whilst I'm in there too. Haha

Daddysgirl and claire I am very much with you on how hard it is when everything in life is organised around dtd during FW. Before I fell pregnant with DD we tried for about six months (I know this is not very long!). But in the end I was so afraid it wouldn't happen that I started doing all sorts of things, almost stopped drinking, and went to a private clinic to check the status of fertility. I should mention that I was 38 at the time. At that point I went to a work conference in the US, and DP came as well for a holiday. While I did not ditch the opk, I had several glasses of wine all week (at this point I had almost stopped drinking), and tried to live like normal. This was of course the cycle when the frer finally showed two lines. My point is not "relax and it will happen", because I think that in the end it was coincidence resulting in the BFP that month. But I firmly believe that while dtd around ovulation clearly is a must, trying to control a lot of other things might be less helpful, particularly if it increases stress. Anyway, sorry for essay. Hope we all get a BFP asap!

Claire I can't seem to remember how long is is since your mc, but I spotted up until first af, and did not notice any ewcm the first cycle. Nausea does not seem nice though, have you tested recently?

clare I'm not exactly two weeks since my tfmr and I'm still bleeding too. I wouldn't call it spotting because although it's not heavy, it's more than that. I spoke to a midwife yesterday and she's said its nothing to be concerned about. I've only had flashing smiley faces too, not solid. We tried to dtd during what would normally be FW but bleeding was an instant turn off and caused DH to freak out that he was causing me harm.
I'm crazy hormonal at the minute. I completely broke down yesterday. Hyperventilating and sobbing. Im now not talking to DH because he lost his patience and started telling me off for it and calling me a toddler. Tosser

Hope you had a nice birthday emily and so glad the service went well. I bet your tattoo looks beautiful.

So sorry about af Buddah

Miami when's your RMC appointment?

Sorry you're feeling so low claire, can't believe people can be so bloody thoughtless and that you had to go through that having your scan. But also agree with DaddysGirl that getting checked out might be a good idea and give you some peace of mind. If it feels like the right thing to do.

That is tossery behaviour leigh! Of course you're struggling, it's SUCH early days and you're going to feel wobbly as hell for a while. Maybe your DH is struggling too and worried about you but doesn't know how to process it?

Not an excuse for being a prick but we never ever argue and we had some tetchy as hell exchanges in the weeks after my MMC. No lasting damage and he was absolutely amazing 99% of the time. But it was a horrifically stressful, sad, angry, confusing, shit time and no one's going to be on top form are they.

I got my BFP yesterday morning and my RMC appointment went really well. My bloods from the previous one came back clear, which is a relief.

I had an HCG test taken yesterday and have to go for another one tomorrow to see if it's progressing as it should.

Despite the tests being clear, the Doc has suggested the course of treatment anyway so I started on the Clexane injections yesterday and have Progesterone pessaries for any hint of a bleed which I'll be on standby for up to 12 weeks.

First scan books for 2 weeks, then fortnightly scans till 12 week one. I can keep him as my named consultant after that which feels reassuring.

I'm not sure how to feel tbh. Yesterday was a massive blur and I was awake most of the night wide eyed and terrified.

I'm so so pleased and relieved to be pregnant again. But I'm also beyond prettified and for a never anxious person, my stress levels are through the roof.

I POAS again today, might just keep doing it till I run out. And I'm going one day at a time.

Anne, heartfelt congratulations and fx for an uneventful pregnancy. I understand the anxiety,but most likely you'll be fine. And today you are pregnant

Congratulations Anne! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you and it is good that this time you've got lots of support and a plan in place. I really hope this one works out for you.

Leigh sorry you're having such a difficult time and DH isn't helping. I think OHs sometimes struggle with feeling so helpless and my DH has certainly come out with some ridiculous, uncharacteristic comments in the weeks immediately post-miscarriage.

Huge congratulation anne!!!!

Congratulations Anne!! X