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Conception

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TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided - all welcome! #makeithappen #loadsofBFPs!!!!

999 replies

kwick · 31/10/2016 20:06

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!
Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen

Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome

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StorkAhoy · 30/12/2016 10:30

Holy Christmas balls kwick!

INeedNewShoes · 30/12/2016 10:42

Is this - I chose Denmark for treatment because they've been doing IUI for decades (since before the UK I think), their success rates are slightly higher and it's so much cheaper.

I don't know the costs for IVF but non-medicated IUI with donor sperm was £700 per attempt (nearer £800 following Brexit vote thanks to the pound plummeting) whereas in the UK I think it's double that.

I went to Stork Klinik who, aside from one administration error, were brilliant and would be my first choice if I do this again. I vaguely remember browsing their IVF prices and they were very reasonable compared to UK clinics.

Any questions about Denmark, just ask Smile

taydex · 30/12/2016 10:45

Oh and I see some of you were discussing Spain...? My friend went over to a clinic in/near Barcelona for IVF treatment with donor eggs, and it worked for her. She now has a 2.5 year old and is 20w pregnant with number 2, both using the Spanish clinic.

taydex · 30/12/2016 12:10

Hi ladies,
Apologies if this post is a little insensitive, it really isn't intended to, I just wanted to celebrate our successes.
So I know a few of you (myself included) have felt a little uncomfortable chatting on this thread following success at IUI/IVF. We chatted occasionally about creating a graduates thread and finally I have got round to doing it (apologies I don't know how to post this link properly):
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2814960-IUI-IVF-success-Graduates-from-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-thread-itcanwork-weareproof?watched=1
I still plan on keeping up to date on this thread and offering help and advice where I can. This way anything not really appropriate here has a home too.
I hope that's OK. Hope to see a lot of you graduating over to the other thread in 2017.
Good luck everyone and here's to more successes.
TD x

kwick · 30/12/2016 12:53

My cousin's friend went to Instituto Marques in Barcelona - highly recommended. 🇪🇸

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taydex · 30/12/2016 13:27

That's where my friend went and she has 1 baby and 1 on the way (both conceived there).

kwick · 30/12/2016 13:52

isthis I dug out my blood test results from June 2015: AMH 2.0, range for my age 0.7-21.2.
I only have one ovary and suffer from PCOS. This has been my 9th (I think, I am not so good at maths Confused) try - a mixture of natural IUI, medicated IUI, medicated IVF (got a BFP then a MC), then a natural IVF, natural IUI and now a medicated IUI (which "funnily" produced more follicles, faster, on less medication that medicated IVF Confused)
I have taken on board a lot of what is recommended in It Starts with the Egg - DHEA, co-enzyme, myo-inisitol, vitamin E, vitamin D and so on
I, by all means, know not much but here for you if you have any questions or just need a shoulder to cry on/someone to shout at.

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INeedNewShoes · 30/12/2016 14:03

Kwick - are you still on your Clexane?

isthismummy · 30/12/2016 14:04

I'll have a look at the clinics you've all mentioned. Thank you. At the minute I'm leaning towards Reprofit in the Czech Republic. I've heard good things and they specialise in
DE.

Bloody hell kwick. You have been through so much! Keeping everything crossed for a healthy pregnancy for you this time.

I've read ISWTE from cover to cover and currently stuffing myself and dp with all recommended vitamins. Apart from the mayo-inisitol, but might add that to the listGrin So hard to follow all the advice regarding not touching plastic etc. Did anyone actually manage it? I've switched some of my products to organic, but can't afford to have everything changed overSad It stresses me out tbh as it makes me feel that there's something else I'm failing at.

Karendvm · 30/12/2016 14:20

kwick how wonderful! sorry I've been so quiet on here. I've been trying to keep up, but have to admit I'm behind. My parents flew up for Christmas and I only feel like I'm emerging from the fog now. I'm so incredibly excited for you kwick. What a great thing. I hope everything continues well for you. X

INeedNewShoes · 30/12/2016 14:22

Isthis - I haven't read the book but Kwick has mentioned things on this thread that I took on board, such as the nasty ingredient in cosmetics that affects fertility (can't remember the name of it - the only products of mine I had to stop using were Neutrogena comfort balm and Dove body lotion).

Otherwise I haven't particularly avoided anything. I eat well in general anyway because multiple food allergies mean that I can't eat most produced foods anyway (so no ready meals being heated in plastic trays anyway nor lists of ingredients of unpronounceable chemicals) so most of what I eat is made from scratch.

I continued with alcohol (but I only drink decent-quality wine anyway and very rarely to excess) and caffeine whilst TTC as I felt that as I had got quite good results to all of my hormone tests etc. it seemed best not to make big changes in case it knocked things off balance for me.

I switched to organic full-fat milk to get the most benefit from that as possible and I ate more (free-range, organic) eggs and avocados and more fresh fish (the clinic were very keen to encourage eating at least three portions of fish a week!).

I don't think anyone could manage to follow all the recommendations so maybe pick and choose the ones that seem realistic/worthwhile to you. Because TTC can be a long process you don't want to make yourself miserable in the meantime by restricting everything too much. Its a bit of a balancing act.

kwick · 30/12/2016 15:07

shoes I am not on Clexane - they only give for IVFers but I will ask when next at FC - I have booked in for blood test on 2nd Jan... hope I do not jinx things!

Yep isthis I only read the book a bit at a time as some of it is scary!
I have switched out most of my cleaning products to Ecover/Method; also I have recently stopped heating things up in plastic (such as ready meals Blush) - I decant everything into china and then heat in microwave. Apparently it is when oil gets in contact when you heat the plastic and then eat it. I also try to avoid cyclo-silicones in beauty products (to which I am addicted)....
You are not failing at anything!!! Just do what you can/want. I always remind myself that women get preggers all the time in war zones!

I have a list of nasty ingredients to avoid - just not allowed to post another photo as have exceeded my daily limit!!! Basically if an ingredient starts with cyclo then avoid,same if it ends in xane. Most primers and foundations contain - but I can easily recommend loads of stuff that does not.

What shoes said re: food
I try and eat a varied diet with lots of pulses, leafy greens, eggs, oily fish, blue milk, sweet potato, avocado - and as much of it organic as I can source.

karen you have been through a tough time. Take care of you Flowers

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INeedNewShoes · 30/12/2016 15:16

Kwick - I was getting on for 5 weeks by the time I started taking the heparin so there seems to be no massive hurry for it if you do need it.

Isthis - Kwick has reminded me that I also haven't been using nasty chemicals for cleaning while TTC and pregnant. I've been using method spray for cleaning and I buy a plant-based washing up liquid at the health-food shop. Its a great excuse for getting someone else to clean the oven if it needs it Grin (though I managed that using bicarbonate of soda I have to admit).

taydex · 30/12/2016 15:31

I agree with what the other ladies have said re food/cosmetics etc. I'd recommend reading up to find out what the ideal is, but then decide what you can/want to do and don't stress over doing it all.

I intermittently had alcohol and caffeine whilst TTC (to be honest now I can't 100% remember how much but not loads, maybe 1 or 2 drinks a week and 1 coffee a day). I generally ate well and don't tend to have micro meals (although I am partial to a take away/meal out). I stayed on semi skimmed milk as I can't stand full fat, and probably only had 1 portion of fish a week (when I remembered as I'm not used to eating fish much). I did do more eggs, more milk, protein with every meal (tried to minimise red meat and have more chicken/turkey) - that was all pretty manageable for me. I also ate more nuts, fruit and veg (tried to do min 5 a day), and drank more water. I also took pregnacare/seven seas conception tablets.

To be honest I didn't check or change cosmetic products or cleaning products but at times (like during 2WW) I probably let my OH do the cleaning a little more (any excuse LOL).

It felt like a good balance to me. I made enough changes to feel like I was giving it my best shot without feeling too stressed about making loads of changes. I know you want to try to put the odds as much in your favour as possible, but don't be too harsh on yourself. Remember that people get pregnant whilst drinking loads, smoking, taking drugs, eating junk food, etc etc. Anything that you are doing will help. Try if you can to not stress too much over this.

Good luck x

taydex · 30/12/2016 15:32

Oh and I didn't do organic either.

CautionHormone · 30/12/2016 19:04

Kwick that is AMAZING... What a way to end 2016!!!

INeedNewShoes · 30/12/2016 20:34

Caution - I don't think its illegal to import sperm for home insemination. I don't see how it can be as plenty of women are doing this and its blooming obvious what it is because of the way it is packaged. I would imagine that anything that arrives in the UK in a liquid nitrogen container would be checked by customs so if it was illegal no sperm would be making it to the intended recipients.

The HFEA website is a good place to look up things like this.

kwick · 30/12/2016 20:54

It may not be illegal shoes but how would you go about defrosting and swizzing around so magic potion ready to rock and roll? Confused

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pickle162 · 30/12/2016 21:19

I think I read that in the uk you have to use non-anonymous donors so even if get from abroad they have to not be anonymous.....however I could be making it up!! :/
Soooo so far no positive LH surge on the clear blue ones BUT when I ejected from the tester thing there were 2 lines which hadn't had so think it is almost here-hopefully tomorrow morning. I've been away so forgot to bring the Internet cheapies with me too but think will combine the 2 for future cycles!

Thanks for setting up the sister page taydex hopefully will see u over there very soon but please don't leave us here too

juneybean · 30/12/2016 21:28

I used frozen sperm from Denmark a few years back and it comes in very tiny straws which defrost within 20 minutes ready to suck into a syringe and stick up your foof.

I didn't have any problems with custom but DHL were absolutely useless and left my little spermies in Germany for an extra night which made me very stressed.

Needless to say it didn't work, timing is everything afterall.

kwick · 30/12/2016 21:38

You are right pickle that is why it is fricking hard to get a good choice of donor sperm in the UK.

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INeedNewShoes · 30/12/2016 21:39

Kwick - quite right, you can't do the whizzing and swooshing and you'd just have to follow instructions for defrosting. It all seems fairly pointless because you have to pay more for the sperm for home insemination as the sperm bank have to prepare the sample for you and given that plus the shipping costs, the costs add up. By the time you pay for all that, for the same cost you could travel to Denmark and pay for an expert to defrost and wash the sample to time correctly with your IUI and make sure the whole sample makes it to the right place.

That's without even going into the pros of IUI over home insemination for sperm placement, bypassing potential issues outside the uterus etc. (which I've wittered about on this thread very recently - 19th December - and more lengthily previously, so I won't bore you all again Wink)

CautionHormone · 30/12/2016 22:23

I wouldn't actually do it, I just could've swore I read somewhere (I think of the HFEA website) that it's actually illegal to do in the UK. I'll see if I can find it again and link you all in, but I could be wrong!!
Hopefully 2017 will be my year, but due to my stressful week in December being put back until July, I can't actually do anything until after then. Plus I need my laparoscopy for suspected Endometriosis, and I've put on 3/4 of my stone ( Angry ) so I have to lose that by 2nd February. It's all getting too much for me to stress about so I try not thinking about it too much anymore. What will be will be, as the saying goes!

Hope you're all okay. X

hopingandwaiting · 31/12/2016 00:10

Kwick I am so so pleased for you! I have everything crossed that this is your time!

isthismummy · 31/12/2016 07:32

Kwick. Would you possibly be able to post that link please if your daily allowance will allowSmile It would be really helpful. Also any tips as to safe foundations would be much appreciated.

Peoples advice about doing what works for you is very sensible. I've been trying to do everything and then beating myself up for failing. For example I've had a few drinks over Christmas and have mentally crucified myself for it. I think a lot of the ttc advice given is very valid, but probably just not doable if it drags on for weeks/years. Let's face it, if anything is going to make you want to have a drink it's infertilityShock