TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided - all welcome! #makeithappen

(730 Posts)
kwick Mon 18-Jul-16 18:58:50

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!
Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome

kwick Mon 18-Jul-16 19:06:37

Kwick aka footloose and fancy free
TTC #1
Age: I only admit to 21 41
I have been trying since September 2015 - I have done 4 un-medicated IUIs, 1 medicated IUI and a stimulated IVF, which resulted in a BFP but I sadly MC at 8 weeks. That was back in April 2016, I am now just starting up with IVF again - this time I am doing a natural cycle.

pickle162 Mon 18-Jul-16 19:23:55

That's for setting up a new one smile
I spent £220 on clothes (&fake tan) yesterday on the credit card, really really needed the clothes so yay on one hand but that's £220 less to go in the baby fund 😭

Karendvm Mon 18-Jul-16 19:39:12

Karen
36 (37 in 3 days!)
Ttc since January. I'm single, using donor semen. Got pregnant first try, but had a mmc in April. I've had ups and downs since then. Overstimulated, got cysts, terrible pain.

Just had my cd3 scan today and I'm cyst free!! Starting femara tonight, back on day 12 for a progress scan. Fingers crossed!

Thanks for getting the new thread started kwick

INeedNewShoes Mon 18-Jul-16 20:15:47

Evening smile

More anon.

kwick Mon 18-Jul-16 20:31:56

karen yay to being cyst free! Well done!

Karendvm Mon 18-Jul-16 21:24:27

So a girl at work just announced she is pregnant and I just feel like bursting into tears. Sigh. I don't like myself much right now. I know I'm about to start trying again, but I still sometimes think about how I should have been 6 months right now. And for some reason I feel like it jinxed me to be pregnant at the same time as someone else that I know. Like they suck up all the good pregnancy vibes. I'm an idiot. I know. But I can't wait for this day to be over so I can go home with my tail between my legs.

kwick Mon 18-Jul-16 21:35:29

I am not very eloquent karen but someone on another thread was when she explained what helps her when dealing with the good BFP fortune of others: try to remember that there is not some definite number out there of how many babies there can be, that someine else having a baby does not reduce the possible number or more specifically your number, that you still have all the chance in the world. I find this thinking helps me. smile

pickle162 Mon 18-Jul-16 21:39:46

Oh sweet pie, I totally get it but as kwick is her wisdom once said to me... There isn't a limited number of pregnancies that happen, her being preg won't stop you being preg. My sister and best friend are both preg and a girl at work just had a baby (who wasn't even tryingangry) so it's like everyone has what I so desperately want and it's frigging hard but we just have to keep in our mind it might just happen for us too and all this hard time and stress etc will all be worth. We are all here to get you through this tough time Karen xx

RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers Mon 18-Jul-16 22:31:08

Oh, karen. I am so sorry. I often think we don't talk enough about the issues around fertility, as a society. It is very private, I know, but I sometimes think it is very cruel, the way you can be mourning the baby you had hoped for and imagined - and imagined at six months of pregnancy - and yet someone else will know nothing about it and will hurt you unintentionally with their good news. It's rotten. I can only second what kwick says - she is a wise voice (except, I disagree with her on one count: she is eloquent!).

RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers Mon 18-Jul-16 22:33:26

Oh, and for introductions: I'm Robins, and it's my DP who is trying this time around, with minimally medicated IUI. Hoping to be long-haul passengers on this thread as it will be my turn next, should things work out for her (fingers crossed). My history is four early miscarriages with previous pregnancies, but I am hoping to be able to try IUI rather than IVF when the time comes.

Karendvm Mon 18-Jul-16 22:36:16

Thanks everyone. Sitting in my car having a cry. I don't want anyone to see me upset because I want people to be happy for her and not think that they have to hide it because of me. And I am happy for her. Just feel like I need to turtle and just start thinking positive. Thankful for this group, it helps so much to have people who understand. X

INeedNewShoes Mon 18-Jul-16 22:37:58

INeedNewShoes (not because I'm a shoe-aholic but because I desperately need a new pair of shoes and can't find any that fit properly)

TTC since January. Two 'successful' non-medicated IUIs in that I got BFPs but miscarried both (the first after only a few days, the second a MMC discovered at 11 weeks then surgically managed)

Using a clinic in Denmark that I love but now that it's the summer holidays is a right pain to get to as all the flights have sold out!...

May be having IUI 3 this week.
So, when it got to the point where for Wednesday and Thursday this week there was only one remaining seat on one flight out of a London airport on Wednesday to Copenhagen I booked it because otherwise it's game over for this month. I think I should get my LH surge on Thursday so IUI on Friday morning then I'll fly back, but (as experienced once before) this is a risky way of doing things and I may well have a city break to CPH with no IUI to show for it if my timing is skewy. AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!

Teensy bit stressled grin (that's a manic grin, just in case you're wondering).

RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers Mon 18-Jul-16 22:39:29

Oh, karen.

You're being such a kind person. And of course you're happy for her, but it doesn't change how gutted you can feel for you. It can't.

Best of luck, and I will be thinking of you.

INeedNewShoes Mon 18-Jul-16 22:44:32

Karen flowers It's hard I know.

For me, I can cope quite well with the pregnant women around me (of which there seem to be hundreds at the moment!) but I had a right old wobble last Friday on the day that my 20-week scan had been booked for. It's so frustrating and upsetting to think that we could be half way through our pregnancies by now.

The thing bothering me most is the uncertainty. I think if somebody could say to me 'within the next 12–18 months you will give birth to a healthy baby' that'd be fine. I could be patient if it was all more certain, but I know I may have difficulties getting another BFP and who knows whether I'll have a third miscarriage.

But, we are strong ladies. I am constantly amazed at the strength all of us show on this thread when we've had bad luck and things have just seemed so unfair. We pick ourselves up, and we plan our next attempt. My friend (who is lined up to take me to Heathrow on Wednesday) said to me today 'keep fighting - it will all be worth it' and it will. We have to hang on that.

Lovelyholiday Mon 18-Jul-16 23:25:24

Karen you are allowed to grieve, you are allowed to feel all of those things. Sometimes it feels like a dagger in the heart and it hurts, please don't feel guilty, have your moment and remember tomorrow is another day and another day closer to you having your dream.
Ineednewshoes how exciting! Go get a session of reflexology to stimulate the ovaries, and best of luck to you, enjoy your city break!

Karendvm Tue 19-Jul-16 00:02:37

You all have no idea how much you have helped me. Thank you. lovely I'm going to look into reflexology. I went once after my mc and loved it. But the girl I went to is off on maternity leave. Yup. So need to find someone else. shoes it is absolutely about the uncertainty. I like to plan. Can't do that. And it is frustrating. I really hope your flights and Lh surge line up. Will have m fingers crossed all week for you.

INeedNewShoes Tue 19-Jul-16 00:40:00

Karen we're always here, and nothing you say will shock us (I don't think so anyway!) and chances are we'll understand exactly how you're feeling.

I'm a planner too. My friends are mildly amused (in the nicest possible way) that I've embarked on this project where I can't really be in control of the situation! Control and fertility treatment are not entirely compatible...

StorkAhoy Tue 19-Jul-16 08:47:15

Stork here!

38 just turned(!)
Single, using donor sperm - I have chosen my baby daddy!
TTC - I start IVF in November - was due to start in July, but delayed due to silly work.
Big believer in acupuncture, meditation and mindfulness, currently downing gritty brown water full of chinese herbs....
Decided to use a clinic in wales (when I live in Buckinghamshire) as can purchase 2 rounds of IVF for the price of one round in my local clinic. A bit of a pain in terms of travel, but I get good vibe from them.

Karen sending you good vibes my lovely, these things are sent to try us. We are strong, and you will get through this - this is just destiny testing you, Im sure.

Hola all, and kwick thanks for the new thread!

kwick Tue 19-Jul-16 08:49:50

karen hope you are feeling better. This is a long road we are travelling - and I take comfort in that although I am doing this "alone" I really am not - with all you lovely ladies to support me.

shoes I know it is really hard to but please try and stay calm - the stress might interfere with ovulation etc. I will keep my fx that the timing all works out.

Luckily the fact that I have never been very good at numbers means I really have to stop and think and use a calculator to work out how far along I would have been...

Just did blood tests at clinic - 3 people had to stab me!!! I forgot how difficult I am. grin I also have baseline scan booked for 15 August - which does not feel that far away. I found out what the Norethisterone is for - to improve egg quality - which I am all for smile

hopingandwaiting Tue 19-Jul-16 10:54:15

Hi guys.

Have been keeping on top of this thread though not posting for a while. I just wanted to say that I'm so glad you are all back on track and I have my fingers crossed for you all! Don't give up - it really does work; I just had a scan at 13 weeks and all is healthy and lovely.

Sending love and positive vibes to you all xx

Karendvm Tue 19-Jul-16 16:20:18

hoping I'm so glad things are going well for you. Yay for the 13 week scan!

kwick Tue 19-Jul-16 17:49:20

hoping well done!!! Any piccies to share?

INeedNewShoes Tue 19-Jul-16 18:47:36

I got a nearly positive ic opk this afternoon, even earlier in my cycle than last month. If I get my LH surge this evening then the flight I booked for tomorrow afternoon will be too late.

So I'm sat at Heathrow having had a mad dash to get here and have used another load of avios points to get a flight. No sooner had I got through security when the flight was suddenly listed as delayed by 2 hours!

The pro (or possible con) of the delay is that I can test again before the flight so will know whether this was a good move or a ludicrous gamble that hasn't paid off.

One thing I'll say is that life certainly isn't boring at the moment wink

Worst case scenario: spend a few hundred ££ on hotels over the next few days waiting for LH surge and enjoy the cooler Copenhagen weather! Just keep telling myself that's not the end of the world.

Lovely to hear that all is going smoothly hoping smile

Karendvm Tue 19-Jul-16 19:19:43

shoes! Oh my goodness. Good luck!

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