10+ months TTC

[Kookie88]

I've just reached cycle 10 and I'm despairing. I've tried to stay focused and positive all this time but it's all gotten a bit much. Each month I've tried something new but nothing seems to be working. (This month is acupuncture month, last month was fertilitea month)!

I guess I just needed to vent I don't want to sound like a total debbie downer but today's been tough!

Chloe, it's so hard and three in one week is hardest! Big hugs to you. I tend to have a winge on here and mope for a couple of days, plus tell DP and he (who has quite a positive attitude about it for someone with anxiety issues), tells me our time will come and that helps. It is difficult though, I feel jealous for a few days and try to avoid them until I feel better (it's not their fault after all).

Cola, I tried evening primrose oil and ended up having an odd cycle where I ov'd late and had a shorter luteal phase. I haven't taken it since but have heard good things from others.

Had our doctors appointment the morning, he was very nice and booked me in for day 21 bloods to check I'm ovulating (so will help rule in or out PCOS) and hubby to have sperm analysis, then an appointment a week after those so we can review results and talk about next steps.

He said as we are both working full time, that alone can be enough of a source of stress to make things a bit harder and said with his practise so near London, he sees this very frequently so hopefully if we continue down the path we are on, try do a bit more to relax & exercise 3 times a week, we will actually conceive before any follow up fertility appointments.

Feeling glad we went. I've really been thinking about stress and how it has been a tough year. I'm trying to really allow myself to relax and unwind now - when I was pregnant, hypnobirthing was amazing for me so I found a set of fertility hypnotherapy albums on Spotify that I'm now tuning into when I'm driving or on train. They sound a bit odd but honestly I think they do make a difference!

Awww Chloe three in a week is rough. But I totally agree that you have to let your feelings out (to someone appropriate) and acknowledge them as totally valid feelings.

I think I deal with things by remembering that everyone has their own journey in life and it may be that this particular bit is easy for them but no doubt they have faced or will face their own struggles with other things. But it is still ok to feel frustrated with everything - I have plenty of tears and tantrums at times! X

Hi ladies,
Thank you for all of your advice. I'm finally feeling much better today. How is everyone doing? Hope you're all having nice weekends. Glad that you're happy with your doctor cola. Do you use the ovulation sticks? Was wondering if you show you're ovulating when you use them.

You just have to pick yourself up and keep moving forward with this whole ttc malarkey don't you. I started going on a bit of a downward spiral this week but I spoke to my friends and my mum which helped and had a really busy weekend socially which has cheered me up. This is certainly one of the most challenging things I've ever been through though and I think its important to recognise that and not be hard on yourself for finding it a struggle.

Not sure if anyone will know but I remember reading about this plan before where you start DTD from day 8 of your cycle? I've read about it on here and remember reading this ladies website but can't find it when I've now tried googling. xx

Is it Sperm Meets Egg Plan?

Yes that's the one! Thanks sooz! Has anyone got any thoughts on it? X

We tried SMEP but found it too exhausting for us (I ovulate day 18 ish) so we have now settled on just every other day from cd12-19 as that is manageable for us. I'm sure for people with higher (i.e. probably just normal!) sex drive it is fine, we are just a pair of sad old gits who are usually a bit knackered and would rather just have a cuddle and watch telly than have to make an effort! So maybe try it, but don't beat yourselves up if you find it a bit much. Sex on a timetable is definitely something we struggle with. Romance is dead and it's all "does it have to be tonight?" these days - oh the joys!!

You're welcome! We haven't tried it; much like Rational we find every day a bit much, as DP is late-40s, so just stick to every two/three days most of the cycle. Of course, that could explain why I'm now on this forum...

Hi ladies! Hope everyone had a good weekend?

We met our 2 week old niece yesterday who was a cutie - my DH even held her and he's normally scared of holding babies! He was besotted with her and it was so lovely to see him cuddling her, made me feel a bit emotional. They had trouble conceiving and were about to start their 3rd round of ivf when they got pregnant naturally. My brother in law was told he could never have kids by one doctor, so there is always hope! We are so happy for them and we shared our story with them too. It was nice to have someone else to talk to about it all... the most amazing thing is that our niece looks just like my MIL who passed away a few years ago so that was so lovely! She is gorgeous!

Chloe glad you are feeling better - it's so tough when people around you announce pregnancies, I had another colleague announce her happy news last week. There are so many pregnant ladies at work I keep hoping some of their luck will rub off on me! I guess also that you don't know what they have been through to get pregnant themselves so I try to be happy and upbeat about it but inside I cry a little wishing it was me!

Cola sounds like you have a nice doctor - good to have them on your side! Glad that you have felt better after speaking to friends and your mum. It's tough but does help to share your troubles, only one of my friends knows but she is a great support.

Rational I laughed about the sad old gits - my DH and I are exactly the same! It has been a struggle this month, and we have only managed to DTD twice during my fertile week - I am pretty sure I ovulated yesterday. But hey it only takes the one time - bit of a contrast to last month when we DTD every day and sometimes twice a day during fertile week... but it didn't work last month so we have unknowingly tried another tactic! Quality over quantity I say!

Sooz Glad you too find every day a bit much, totally takes the romance away too!

Ha ha sad old gits made me laugh as well! Think we can all empathise with that!

We've said we'll give it a go so we'll see... I think ttc is the biggest turn off ever isn't it as you both know why you're having sex all the time. I find it hard once the windows gone to carry on the pretence as well lol it'll be nice when we do all have our bfp and can go back to just having sex because we want to!

That's amazing Margo and as you say, shows that you can never give up hope. Xx

Hey ladies, cd12 here. No sign of the surge yet. Keeping relaxed - doing the deed when mood takes us!

So this health kick has been amazing and honestly in some ways I reckon it was meant to be that we haven't conceived yet. I've lost 12.5lbs in six weeks, but that aside I feel properly amazing. I have really finally understood the extent of influence my diet has on my moods and as someone whose had depression on and off for ten years that is worth it's weight in gold. And hubby can't keep his hands off me I fit into a size ten dress today for work and the thrills were major!! I also feel surely this has to help us conceive more easily - definitely all the extra passion will help!

Hope you are all well and I know this is so hard, having been in a low for months about it - but you have all helped me think more positively and that's making a world of difference too.

Really hoping one of us gets pregnant by end of the year!! Much love all xxx

Evening ladies, can I join?

Me: 34
DH: 34
TTC#1
Cycle: 10+

Fell first cycle when started trying in Feb, but miscarried at 6 weeks. We weren't trying in earnest until July and have missed a couple months for travel and illness. But our due date just passed and I really thought we'd be pregnant by now. Feeling quite low these days and trying not to lose hope. DH had sperm test and we're waiting for results. My bloods so far have been fine. Hope for some BFPs for everyone here this month!

Hello and welcome user, so sorry to hear about your mc and hope your wait is not much longer. We can definitely offer a shot of positivity and support when needed. We have been through many months of disappointments but keeping on going and trying lots of things to keep us going. Great to hear bloods are good. I have my blood test next week and hubby is trying to book his sperm analysis except no one seems to answer the phone annoyingly!

Been quiet in here this week, hope all you ladies are well. CD14 here and no lh surge yet xxx

Hi ladies just quickly checking in
Really really feeling down... I noticed ovulation cramps and a little EWCM on cycle day 7!!! Took OPK and it was positive! Which I know is pretty impossible as I have a 26-30 day cycle normally been testing ever since and nothing :( on CD14 nor which is when I'd normally get a peak I'm really starting to give up now, not sure what's going on :( I'll catch up with you all properly when I have a day off, just wanted you lovely ladies to know I'm still here xxx

Hello everyone! Sorry to have disappeared again: after my never-ending cycle (40+ days) I was just exhausted and wanted to take a break from everything. Just as fate would have it, I got my BFP last week, after a year of trying!

I'm 100% convinced the fertility acupuncture did it. My acupuncturist said she reset my cycle (i used to have 24 dy cycles, 2 days AF and ovulation at CD10). After the never-ending cycle, AF was 7 days, ov at CD15 and then i got my BFP!

I just want to send positive energy to all of you lovely ladies as I know how shitty TTC can be. But yes, I will be harping on about fertility acupuncture until the cows come home

Ps. Sorry for the selfish post!

Just came on here to book my place as I'm on 9th cycle TTC #2 and AF due tomorrow, all the normal AF symptoms and had D&V during optimal time this month. And no other symptoms whatsover.

Anyway congrats kookie !!! Lovely to hear some BFP news! That's one of the main reasons I come on this forum tbh, some reassurance that shagging can occasionally result in BFPs because I'm beginning to think my biology lessons were all wrong...

kookie congratulations!!! So delighted to see a bfp here and so happy for you after the year long wait, you must be over the moon! You're not being the least bit selfish, it only gives us all heart to see one of us finally get there. Hope you have a great pregnancy. And now I'm googling fertility acupuncture xxx

Faith, sorry to hear cycles are all over the place, why are our bodies something so crazy and seem against us! I really 100% expected to ov on cd14 and yet I'm cd15 and still no surge. My last cycles have varied from 25-35-30 so goodness knows what this one will be! It sounds like you ov'ed super early....like I don't understand any more, it's like our cycles do what they want and toss the "rule book" out the window. I won't say relax because every times anyone tells me that in any contact I want to punch them, but try keep heart Hun xxx

Welcome blackcherries - hopefully your wait won't be much longer but until then we are all in the same boat sorry to hear AF seems to be on the way, how are you feeling? Xxx

Congrats, kookie!

Welcome, blackcherries. I know what you mean about Biology lessons (and Health Education). They're so concerned about telling you how easy it is to get preggers, but it certainly does feel like a lie right now!

Welcome, user. Sorry to hear about your mc. Fx for you and feel free to offload on us here if you're feeling down, if it helps.

Massive congrats kookie! I'm so pleased you've got your bfp, especially after starting this thread :) I've been googling fertility acupuncture now as well ha ha. Did you go specifically to reset your cycle? Definitely not selfish, it gives us all hope xx

Faith- that's annoying that your cycles are a bit all over the place. I guess it's quite normal for that to happen and it's only when you're ttc that you pay attention isn't it, and then it's really frustrating as you just want the best chance every month. Hopefully next month will be back to normal.

Xx

Thank you! I didn't go in specifically for anything, well, except to get pregnant! I was ovulating quite early but thought it was normal for me because I was so regular.

I was recommended Hannah Pearne (in London) and I would highly recommend her if you live near here! She was thorough and lovely - and I'm convinced this is all thanks to her.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for all of you and hope you'll join me in having healthy babies in 2017!

Oops, changed my profile name but it's still me (kookie)

Congrats kookie/fuzz! Awesome news!

I'm at that 9dpo nutty phase where I flip between expecting AF and dreaming of a BFP and then trying not to think about it all. AF due Thurs, work Christmas do Weds night - great timing! Planning on embracing the fun of the Christmas do and having a few drinks interspersed with some mocktails in the hope I avoid a triple whammy of another egg bites the dust + AF pains + hangover - two out of three ain't so bad!

Hope everyone else is hanging in there alright and finding time between obsessing to have some fun x

Hi everyone, can I join? Some of your posts rang really true for me. I'm 33, TTC #1 and got to this point after months of CBT for acute birth anxiety. Now I'm in despair over the whole situation: nothing's happening (only used OPK last 2 cycles and haven't had a positive result, one was borderline), it's causing a horrible atmosphere at home as ive rarely had intercourse without pain, and the anxiety and pressure is making it even worse now we're TTC, I want to leave my job but don't want to give up the maternity leave if i ever get pg, plus i still have birth anxiety. Can anyone advise? Should i just give up, or take a break or what? The advice to just have happy sex throughout the month doesn't really work when it hurts

Well that's me officially in the 10+ months club :(
cd1
Adding to the stress is trying to get booked in for HSG and bloods but FC has been forgetting to do paperwork so if they can't get it done in next 24 hours bang goes my chance of being seen this year.

Evening all,
Hope everyone had good weekends.

rational sounds like you've got a good balance going on. You've got to enjoy yourself at this time of the year, it is xmas after all :)

fuzz the acupuncture definitely sounds good. How are you feeling? We're trying one on one yoga sessions this month as seems like a common theme in a lot of things that I've read, as well as speaking to friends who feel it has helped them. Plus I really enjoy doing it so that's a good a reason as any. It's not cheap to do it one on one at home but then we'd easily spend more than the cost of a session on a boozy night out so it's worth it.

blackcherries what does FC stand for? Guessing it's doctor/consultant?? Very frustrating to have a delay when you just want to be seen and to get on with it and find out what/if anything is going on. Hope it gets sorted sooner rather than later for you.

sapphireruby welcome to the chat. How long have you been TTC? Are you still having the CBT? Have you found that it helps at all? Perhaps if you carry on using the OPK's and don't get a positive, you could go to the dr's and get bloods done to check hormone levels/ovulation? I know how hard it is to keep going and how difficult it is to keep trying each month and that's without DTD actually causing any pain. Have the doctors given you any other advice? I hope you can find some support here.

cola did you manage to get the tests booked up?

user how did your DH get on with his tests? Mine should get his this Friday, think he's a bit apprehensive but obviously it's important to get him checked as well.

I had a bit of an eyeopener last week. I'm not a very happy clappy/philosophical person really but this whole 'journey' if I can call it that has really taught me a lot. On the day I was feeling a bit shit and sensitive because I'd had loads of baby news from friends, DH ended up going out on his work xmas drinks and got absolutely smashed and came home in the early hours. Long story short I was absolutely fuming and we ended up having a huge row and I compared him to a friend of ours who is ttc who is being a complete health nut, going running, lost loads of weight etc. Anyway, few days later and the friend messages me and says that they have split up and the stress of TTC has caused them to fall apart.

They're now working it out but it just made me realise how there really is no point comparing your situation to others and how easy it is to doubt yourself and think everyone else is so much happier/doing things better etc. It's really easy, especially at this time of year, when everyone's posting things on social media about baby news/ their children/ pre xmas health kicks and weight loss to feel crap about yourself but you never know the full story or what other people are going through xx