10+ months TTC

[Kookie88]

I've just reached cycle 10 and I'm despairing. I've tried to stay focused and positive all this time but it's all gotten a bit much. Each month I've tried something new but nothing seems to be working. (This month is acupuncture month, last month was fertilitea month)!

I guess I just needed to vent I don't want to sound like a total debbie downer but today's been tough!

Hey all, lots to catch up on here today! I finally got my positive OPK today, we DTD last night in middle of night randomly and then I couldn't sleep after it so I'm wrecked today!!! Hopefully that has us covered, will go for tonight too.

blackcherry official welcome! Hubby hasn't got anyone to answer the bloomin phone yet for his semen analysis booking, so annoying but we will just keep trying

chloe Im having 21 day blood tests thurs so at least we will get some tests from my side then. Sorry to hear about your friends troubles but it's so hard that I could easily see how it would take its strain out on a relationship. It can suck out all the fun! I talked to a friend today whose been trying over a year and a half and they have taken a break from trying and are just living it up for a bit while they don't have babies yet. I reckon they'll fall now!!

Sapphire that sounds like a tough time, what do you feel you want to do? I suffered from anxiety this year and listening to hypnotherapy cds has been a comfort to me, possibly would help too with yours? Xxx

trying enjoy the party Hun and hopefully you'll get good news very soon xxx

kookie hope you're well xxx

Ha ha sounds like you're going for it this month! I'm sure doing it as much as you can has got to help, sometimes easier said than done though isn't it! I haven't really been feeling that up for it for a few weeks but suddenly got my mojo back which is good timing thank god! The whole thing definitely puts pressure on you as a couple. Don't blame your friends for doing that and yes, that's often the case isn't it that when people relax they then fall. Let's hope that happens to one of us soon ha ha. xx

I have a big Christmas party on 22nd Dec. If I haven't had AF by then I'll test that day. It should be two days past when AF is due. I am writing this here as I Am going to really resist and stay strong because I've told ye I will!! Until then I'm going to distract myself with Christmas related stuff like decorating and buying and wrapping and baking and pretend I don't even know what a 2ww is Ok back to work now for me!

(OMG the 2ww makes me crazy and I'm only like ten minutes into it!)

chloe yes FC is fertility consultant. All feels a bit like a bad dream at the moment. Bit gutted that I've got no more chances in 2016. Onwards and upwards....

Hie everyone
Sorry have not been around for a while .have been very busy with work and angry with the witch but now am on a break hoping to get my bfp on Christmas .Cd6 here so ov right around the corner.

Hie cherries, sorry you are feeling down but hope the Christmas spirit will cheer you up. A little will do the trick.

Oh cola ,you just made my day lol . it's impossible to forget l know. Hopefully the buying, baking and wrapping will make it a little easier. Fx af stays away for you. My af is due on the 24th. If it shows, l am definitely having a drunken xmas.

That is a very interesting way of looking at life chloe ,you are so right. Things are not always as they seem. Thanks for bringing me back to reality. I must admit that ttc has a great effect on the relationship and it's easy to get lost along the way.

Congratulations fuzz .it is lovely to hear a bfp from someone who has been trying for a while .kinda gives us hope. Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy.

Welcome sapphire and user.hope it won't be long before you can get your bfps. Fx

Have everything crossed for you rational hope the witch stays far away. Just another day to go fx.

Hie keeping hope you managed to dtd on time. I seem to have shorter cycles too now that I am ttc. Fx you caught the egg.

Love the quality over quantity approach margo.it lets you take a breather from dtd too much lol . how is the tww for you hun?

Waves sooz hope you are doing just fine. Where are you in the cycle now?

Hi Mimi, I'm 3dpo. I seem to have ovulated on cd20, seems to be getting later and later. I used to have a regular 28-29 day cycle! Not sure we dtd at the right time, only 3 days before o because I got a +opk on the Friday but then didn't o until Sunday. Grr. Day 21, 23 and 25 bloods this week, plus I had bloods last month. Starting to feel like a pin cushion.

Sooz, I have my first bloods done tomorrow day 21 so I'll be joining the pin cushion club! Follow up apt then next week.

mimi great to hear from you!! If AF does show for us I think we are both having a "merry" Christmas I'm trying as much as possible not to even entertain either of the what if scenarios. I've set myself a project: 12 Christmas bakes. I'm gonna try wrangle money out of my colleagues for charity with them. Starting tonight with Christmas cookies. Will see how it goes! Hope work is easing off a bit xxx

Hi all,
what are all these bloods? I've just had day 5 bloods (well, day 3) hormone levels etc. Prev had AMH.

Hi blackcherries, I had day 3 and day 21 bloods last cycle but progesterone was really low so I had day 3 again this cycle and this week having a wider window of three separate bloods to see if progesterone will give a high enough reading.

Hi ladies mind if I join you? I am just in cycle 10 of ttc #2, sadly have had two mc in that time one in Aug and another in Oct both at 6 weeks. DD was conceived first cycle so it's been a shock that it's taking so long this time around, I naively thought it would be just as easy and I'd be having a baby about now! Turns out I was quite wrong.

GP did my 21 day bloods, prog was only 12 so saw a FC privately who said it had just been mis timed but gave me progesterone pesseries to take from my next BFP, just need to get that BFP now!

What is the AMH test?

Fingers crossed 2017 will bring us all sticky BFPs!

Welcome MrsY87 really sorry to hear about your mcs. We also conceived ds1 first cycle and was aiming to be 6 mo pg by now :(
AMH is anti mullerian hormone which indicates egg reserve levels. Just got results and they are good which is one less thing to worry about!

Glad your results were good black!

The consultant I saw said to go back in the new year for mc tests and then spoke about April before he would check my ovarian reserve which seems a long time to wait.. I've started taking COQ10 as I read it was good for egg quality, is there anything else that people would recommend to help with egg quality? Wonder if I should start DH on the COQ10 too for his swimmers!

The witch got me today. But on the plus side it was before the xmas do so I had quite a few drinks and a bloody good laugh. Onto cycle 12, which probably means secret preChristmas shagging at my mum's house. Ick. Good luck everyone else still in the game! Bored of this now but also terrified of becoming a pincushion (stupid needle phobia), am a big baby

Rational, sorry to hear AF arrived . How frustrating.
Colabottles, good luck with the 2ww, fx for you that AF doesn't arrive. Horrible horrible wait! i haven't tried hypnotherapy, no, maybe i could try some cds.
Chloe, I'm on my 10th cycle, not actually ended yet butt since i didn't get a positive i assume nothing happened. No, i finished the cbt, it got me to the point of being able to start TTC, back when i thought it would happen immediately. I haven't seen gp for this, thought you weren't supposed to for a year but now i think maybe i should. What tests are there? Can they test for ovulation? My BMI is really low so that could be it or it could be the stress or whatever. Sorry to be negative but i just feel so horrible about the whole thing, after all the work it took to even be able to TTC, plus i feel rubbish about not being able to enjoy DTD, it's just become a huge ordeal for both of us.
Good luck everyone whose waiting and hoping for good news over Xmas.

Awww Sapphire it's ok to be honest about how you feel, this whole ttc business is really stressful so I feel quite negative sometimes as well. Why not talk to your GP and tell them everything that's happening and see what they suggest? They usually advise waiting 12 months if you're under 35 but I know plenty of people who have had some basic blood tests for ovulation etc earlier than that when they have asked, so why not ask? Particularly if this would help you to feel less anxious. Also they might have some suggestions about the pain you're experiencing. You're so not alone in finding this whole thing difficult. You have obviously come a long way in getting help with facing your fear, so that is really positive. Hope things improve for you soon X

Thanks for the welcomes! (This is user, now with a personalised name).

Congrats to fuzz on the BFP!

Rational, sorry to hear about AF. Fingers crossed for next month.

Sapphire, I think the anxiety is so hard to cope with. I was able to get some testing (basic bloods) from my GP before 12 months, so I think it's worth asking about.

I have been feeling a bit better since I last posted. Found out that DH's SA was okay--a little bit low on total number but with good morphology, which I think balances things out. We had good timing last week but missed my peak day as DH had gone out and had a few pints with his mates and wasn't in the mood when he got home. I admit I had quite a moan and cry about it but he was generously supportive. I'm now in the middle of my TWW and trying hard not to symptom spot and get my hopes up, as that has just ended in despair all months prior. But I can't help but notice that I've been burping nonstop, which was the only symptom I had when I was pregnant and miscarried earlier this year. Doing my best to keep calm and not drive myself mad!

Hoping to see more BFPs soon for all of us long-timers Glad to have found this board and grateful to you all for your support.

Had my day 21 bloods yesterday, apt next week to look at results. It's first bloods I've had done so not really sure what it tells me but will be interesting I guess! Still no luck booking hubbys SA. No one answers the phone! very annoying, going to try some other routes today.

In other news, I'm still feeling pretty chilled, anxiety not an issue at all and I think the change in diet is definitely the major factor. Had what could have been a horrendous week at work - the equivalent things happened in August and I nearly had a stress breakdown - but i was grand, I even enjoyed it. And fringe benefit - I'm 1 stone down. Project Christmas is fully occupying the 2ww. Tree up last night, baking again tonight!! ive gone through so much disappointment and heartache (as have all of us) waiting for this baby, adjusting expectations, worrying etc - it's been great shifting mindset and thinking about what is good right now in my life and what good things can I do to help get my baby closer. Think that book really helped with that chloe

meadow the stress and pressure we put on ourselves to time DTD just right is so tough. Hope you are feeling better now & that you burp your way to a bfp

sapphire why is DTD painful, is it related to the anxiety? That sounds stressful in itself. Really hope things get easier for you soon xxx

trying sorry about AF but good woman for making the most of it and Christmas partying hard! At least there are some consolations each month when AF comes. I'm thinking I'll have exact same issue at Christmas lol xx

mrsy welcome. Sorry to hear about the MCs, that must have been really tough - hoping this time you get that bfp that sticks. Managing the disappointment is the shittiest part. Lots of good support here though, and we do a good job of pepping each other up and acknowledging the general crapness of the long wait & associated emotional rollercoaster!! Best of luck this cycle xxx

Thanks cola what diet changes have you made that you think have helped your stress and anxiety? I am struggling a lot with stress and anxiety at the moment, mainly work related but think the ttc is getting to me too, keep bursting in to tears and feeling on edge a lot of the time, so really interested in anything you have found to help control it. I'm having acupuncture and that is helping but keen to try anything else too.

Sorry to hear AF arrived Rational hope you enjoyed those couple of glasses of wine at your xmas do. Every time AF shows I try to find some positives to it, however small and ridiculous they are.

mrsy - my before diet was pretty mixed. I tended to snack a lot between means and eat a lot of carbs - toast for breakfast, bit of fruit, sandwiches for lunch then a chocolate bar in afternoon as I'd be starving, I'd get home and snack more before dinner on crisps or sweets and dinner would be freezer food or takeaway more often than not. I kind of fed my feelings - eating out of boredom, eating as distraction. It wasn't all bad stuff but I relied so much on snacking and I always felt bad about that but I was starving!
I've changed it to basically cook fresh, have lots more veg, fruit and protein, and really minimise processed food cutting out bread & all those snacks. My shopping trolley looks very different!! The first five days where tough because I still had carb cravings but honestly, once they were over I began to feel "lighter". I didn't realise how much food impacted my state of mind until I was eating this way and the difference is dramatic. What really was eye opening is it's all the foods that I turned to for comfort that were really contributing more to my anxiety. I'm like a different woman temperament wise. My husband is loving it people at work have commented on it - and I feel it myself so much.

I also feel good about everything I'm putting in my body now, and I still have a glass of wine or bit of dark chocolate every now and then but I don't miss the snacks at all (except if I get too little sleep!) I cannot recommend it enough!! It makes me feel like I'm taking control as well because I'm doing this, being proactive and getting results. Definitely most effective thing I've done to treat my 18 months of anxiety which I now believe I'm leaving behind me. Really hope it could help you too!

From a fertility POV I'm interested in trying acupuncture in new year, do you like it?

Thanks cola that is so interesting and your not the first person I've heard say how much cutting processed and refined foods from their diet has helped their mental well being. I like to think I eat pretty healthily for main meals but always find myself snacking on biscuits, cakes, sweets etc Think I'll try and make some changes and see if it helps.

I'm also seeing my acupuncturist for fertility but have found it good for stress/anxiety too. i really enjoy it as it's the only time I really get to myself to relax and do nothing. I do think it has started to help my cycles too as they were around 22-25 days and are now more like 28-30 just working on extending the LP now as it's only about 11 days. I also find it a bit of a therapy session each time as we sit and talk about how I'm feeling about ttc, work, home etc and I really feel I can be honest with her. I'd definitely recommend it if you are open to it as i know it's not for everyone.

Hie ladies
Just wanted to say hello you all . Rooting for bfps all round

Hi all,
Hope everyone's doing good. I'm currently in the 2ww. Let's hope we get a couple more bfp's to end the year on a positive note! Still waiting for results of dh's sa test- they said it's busiest time of year so can take a while. In the meantime, we've tried to give it our best shot again. We did the sperm meets egg plan and only missed one night which was pretty good going I thought! We've also been doing one on one yoga at home which has been fantastic. Would highly recommend xx
How's everyone else getting on?
X

Hey all - blissfully ignoring 2ww and throwing all my efforts into Christmas going nicely in that I now have a very highly decorated home!! Lots of baking and enjoying the build up. I'm sure if AF comes I will be disappointed for a day but there are so many good friends I'm going to see over Christmas that I'm happy to be looking forward to that! If I am preg I won't stand a chance of hiding it because there will be like 10 events I should be drinking at

Good going chloe, smep is hard to keep up but it seems to get good results. We we're every third day through this cycle and that caught ov so will see how it went soon. The yoga sounds lovely, how cool to get your own personal class at home! We haven't even been able to get the SA appointment yet, flipping ridiculous. Getting bloods results tomorrow. Xxx

Hey Mimi, hope you're well!! Xxx

Now back to Christmas Christmas Christmas

Loving the Christmas mood cola.lt surely is the best way to forget about the ttc rollercoaster journey lol . here's hoping for a sneaky bfp in the middle of the festive excitement.

Well done chloe on the good job dtd. After ttc long we tend to do less and less lol.fx smep pays off for you.

Am in the tww too and done as much dtd l can. Now onto the Christmas preparations, and I must agree that it is the only time a bfn won't be so terrible (lots of fun and drinking and eating awaiting )