10+ months TTC

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I've just reached cycle 10 and I'm despairing. I've tried to stay focused and positive all this time but it's all gotten a bit much. Each month I've tried something new but nothing seems to be working. (This month is acupuncture month, last month was fertilitea month)!

I guess I just needed to vent I don't want to sound like a total debbie downer but today's been tough!

Hi ladies,
How is everyone doing? I just wanted to share that I've been reading the Julia Indochiva books and feel a lot more positive since reading them! Has anyone else ever read her books? x

Hello ladies!!! How is everyone??? Sorry I haven't posted 60 hours out in at work last week so day 1 of TWW for me got my SUPER dark OPK yesterday which is super exciting as it's the darkest I've ever got!! So DTD yesterday and the couple days before too :) boobs have started hurting today so assuming I've ovulated! YAY!
Chloe haven't read the books but may try it! Love a good book :)
How's everything with you?
Cola yay I'm the OPK :) and coverage of DTD!! I know what you mean though OH is really put off by the pressure of DTD in fertile week can be quite stressful sometimes I just keep trying to think of new ways to keep him excited ;)
Margo glad the meeting with friends went well!!! How's the TWW?? Crossing everything for you!! OH carved the pumpkin I helped a little ;)
Ice glad the check up went well... sorry about AF :( how's everything else??
Mimi how's the TWW? And thank you :)
Skipper yay that you loved the yoga!! And hope the follow up goes okay!!
Sending lots of dust ladies xxxx

Hey faith,
I'm doing good thank you :) I'd definitely recommend the books as they helped me get a bit of perspective and helped me to think a bit more positively about everything! I had a bit of a wobble last week when AF arrived but it only last a day or so. My husband has gone to Australia for 10 day for a work trip so I think we'll miss the boat this month which I think was stressing me out and I felt like if it didn't happen last month then it was never going to happen but reading the book and talking to friends helped me realise that we've just got to carry on and stay positive that it will happen. Don't' know if you ladies have ever felt like this but in the book it says that sometime we see a pregnant lady and it's almost as though we feel like that's going to be the last ever pregnant person in the world and the last ever baby to be born which is of course ridiculous but it definitely struck a chord with me and made me think come on, I've got to stop panicking about this and just have a bit of patience otherwise I'll drive myself crazy and make myself utterly miserable!
Hope you ladies are all ok and staying positive too xx

Hi chloe, goodness I know just what you mean about seeing pregnant ladies. I see about five or six a day just walking from the tube to work and it just reminds me that I'm not yet so I always feel a pang. Sometimes I feel super positive but when it's near ov I get stressed that we aren't doing it enough and did I misjudge the OPK, or just the fear of disappointment in 2ww. I have found TTC makes me lose perspective so quickly so I really have to work to maintain the positive attitude!! May check out the book, thanks for the tip x

Sorry about AF and hubby being away, it's frustrating from a "trying to maximise every chance" point of view which is hard to overcome when we really want those babies and they're so often on the brain!! hopefully he brings back something nice

faith you are working hard! Isn't the dark line on OPK brilliant, I got stupidly excited this month. It's nice to test and see a positive and now we wait!

I feel very positive this month about chances as I felt we did actually DTD at the right times and it was first month without work stress since we started trying. I'm going to let myself enjoy a little hope this month, I have been very cautious but still get disappointed so I figure let's try it out. X

Hey cola,
I think it's great to enjoy a little hope as you say. Once you've been trying for a while you can end up talking yourself out of it but there's no point asking your body to do something that your mind has given up on. Great that you weren't stressed out by work this month. I think that can have a big part to play with TTC!

I hope I get something nice bought back as well ha ha. I think I was worrying about him being away so much, to the extent that it was as if it was our last chance if it didn't happen before he went away as that would be another month gone but lo and behold it didn't and actually I managed to get things into perspective and feel so much better about the whole thing and like I've got a bit of control of the situation back (and of myself!). It's crazy how your feelings can go from 0 to 100 thought isn't it? Like you say, it can really escalate quickly and you can end up feeling absolutely awful about it all but I'm trying to stay positive like you. xx

Hi all.

Cola Thank you for the good wishes. Yes, pressure can be a real mood killer.

Faith Congrats and Good Luck .

Chloe I might just have to try those books, they sound like they've had a really positive effect.

As for me, my mood (thankfully) seems to be levelling out some. I'm no longer Super Perky (overwhelming happy attitude, an underrated superpower if you ask me), but I am settling into a nice stable, mostly cheerful plateau.
My health. I got the call from the Doctor this afternoon and I'm suddenly booked in for blood tests on Wednesday. Less than 2 days away! Should I be worried that it's happening this quickly or relieved? Anybody any thoughts?

Positive wishes for everyone xxx

iceauntie, I reckon don't worry about the speed, many surgeries do blood tests with nurses on a set day every week and have much more availability so the speed is possibly just that. When I was suffering anxiety last year, they scheduled bloods first thing too, I assume to check hormone levels, and came back all clear xx

chloe I downloaded one of her books to my phone so will give it a go on my commute!

Hi ladies! Back from a lovely weekend away with DH. I am currently 11 dpo... the last 2 months my period has come at 12 & 13 dpo so not long to wait - I'm determined not to test until I am late! No signs except my boobs feel a bit sore and heavy (that could be AF) time will tell!

Cola & Faith fab news about the positive OPKs!

Chloe the books sound great, will look them up

Ice don't think too much into the fast appointment- sure it's ok. It's so easy to over analyse everything, is women are experts at it! Best of luck with the tests x

Mimi how's your 2ww going?

Did you go any where nice Margo? I'm determined not to do any more tests going forward either. I've done it the last two months for some reason and it just causes more anxiety and upset about it all and it's expensive!!

Ice- I think it's good you've got an appointment so quickly. At least you don't have weeks to worry about it and can hopefully get some results quite quickly.

I've booked in dh to have some tests done at the doctors as tnink I mentioned that he hasn't been tested. We have both cut right down on drinking and he's been really good and stuck to it but he's on this business trip until next thurs so I made the appointment for the Friday morning hopefully a good incentive for him not to go too mad while he's away!

Oh I'm really gutted. Cd1 here

chloe glad your oh is on board and hope all tests come back good. Lol at the less drinking while away.

margo glad you enjoyed your weekend. Fx that you have good news in a few days. My weekend was a nightmare. Was in bed with the flu.

cola enjoy your hope lovely and fx it will be a bfp soon . how is the tww?

Good luck in the tww keeping.hopeyou have loads to keep you busy.

ice l think it's good getting your appointment and good luck.

mimi, so sorry to hear its cd1, hope you are feeling better and soon it will be back to chasing the egg again. One day, very soon I hope, you'll get that baby xxx

margo hope you had a brill weekend. Stay strong on not testing, amazing willpower! I'm like 4dpo and trying to at least get to 12dpo as apparently that's when AF is due.

Hello ladies!!!
Currently 3DPO looooooong way to go! But luckily work is absolutely crazy so will keep me busy :) really not going to bother with symptom spotting as it drives me crazy and I'm always wrong!!
Chloe I know exactly what you mean! I've ordered the book! Hehe if I get bloody time to read it ;) good luck with the DH tests and well done on cutting down the booze :) hope everything else is okay
Cola I know I got so excited too! I've never seen it that dark so it's boosted my confidence again and given me hope :) I'm glad you feel positive I do too where are you in cycle? We must be close together??!!!
Ice hope the results go okay! I'm sure it's fine :) we are here for you xxx
Margo hello!!!!! Glad you had a lovely weekend!! Has AF showed? I hope she hasn't!!!
Mimi sorry the stupid witch got you :( sending you lots of hugs xx

Evening ladies! AF arrived right on time at 12dpo. At least I can be happy I didn't waste any pregnancy tests this cycle...!!!

Feeling a bit down, might have to visit doctors to see if there's anything wrong. Those of you who went to the docs did you mention what it was for when booking the appointment and did you take your DP with you? What's the procedure? It's beginning to really get to me and I need to be proactive...

margo so sorry to hear about AF. Seems our journeys are just destined to be that bit longer. The doctors is likely next step for us in Jan if no baby joy before then. The book Chloe recommended is quite uplifting, lots of stories of ladies who struggles finally getting their babies one way or another which is really heartening xx

faith im 5dpo and looooooong is a good description. Telling myself I won't symptom spot but already reading into every sensation in my body

My weight seems to have plateaued now, still eating mostly well, with the odd treat or glass of wine every now n then. Even if it's not making me fall pregnant right away I really want to shout from the rooftops about how great I feel - if anyone has been anxiety or depression sufferers then I really recommend trying to cut out processed foods as this is the happiest I've felt in years, even despite the TTC stress. I'm so happy I'm almost irritating myself ha!! Sorry I sound like such a happy clappy nutter but it's just so wonderful to wake up feeling good about myself & what's ahead and not wanting to hide under my duvet instead of face the day.

Even Trump winning hadn't blackened my mood totally, but seriously America, wtf!

Margo- sorry to hear that. We booked a routine doctors appointment and discussed it then. You can have blood tests done to check hormone levels and to check you're ovulating etc.
Cola- are you following any particular diet?im really struggling with my weight at moment and I'm going to the gym loads, eating healthy and not drinking much so just don't get what's going on. I wouldn't mind if I wasn't trying but frustrating when you are. I did flat tummy club diet a few years back and it really worked so thinking of trying that but it's just low gi really which is pretty much what I'm doing now so dunno what's going on. Sounds like what you're doing is making you feel great though which is brill xx

Can I also ask you guys a question.... might sound really silly but is it ok to drink decaf coffee?? I've been trying to reduce my caffeine and then had a lightbulb moment yesterday that I could just drink decaf instead ha ha xx

Chloe, I am basically cutting out processed foods but also with a lean towards a ketogenic diet. Now, that basically means transforming your body to burn fat for energy instead of relying on glucose from carbs. It's a diet used for some medical conditions, the version I'm on is one my fitness instructor made. It rules out all bread, potatoes, pasta, rice - it even minimises certain high sugar fruits like grapes, apples, bananas, oranges, instead emphasising kiwis, berries,nuts. It had results quick and your appetite adjusts after a week. First week is tough but then it really is great! After a strict two weeks, I'm slowly reintroducing small amounts of good carb like some brown wholegrain rice.

It's meshing well with a lot of what the lady is saying in the book you recommended which I'm reading as I commute each day!! No idea on decaf but sounds like it would be ok!

Hi is it too late to join the thread?! 28 yrs, TTC 1,cycle 11 Had my second lot of bloods today, will be another couple of weeks for the results and to find out if I am actually ovulating. Dr told me today that they probably won't look to do any other checks now "until the New Year" so feeling massively deflated. Not in UK so it's private healthcare. Struggling to believe the whole 'it takes the average healthy couple 12 months to conceive...' line when I don't know anyone irl who took longer than a couple of months. I have to believe it's true, but damn it's hard sometimes. We normally try to time dtd for the fertile window (DH has hugely physical and tiring job) but thinking of just doing every other day this time... but then I worry that we'll run out of steam and/or miss crucial days! Gah this isn't how I imagined it to be! Sorry for offloading, I have PMS and a cold to boot. Knee deep in self pity today!

Hi girls

I'm reaching the end of cycle 11 with a bit of a heavy heart. All the signs are AF is on the way again. Can't quite believe I will be starting cycle 12.

I've started tests too - had normal result for early cycle bloods and mostly fine day 21 bloods. It showed I ovulated, but my prolactin is a little bit raised. I've got my pelvic scan on the 28th, and DH is waiting for his second SA. His first came back good but with low morphology.

So potentially a couple of things holding us back, but I'm hopeful we can still conceive naturally. We get our referral to the fertility unit at the hospital once all these test results come back. The waiting for it all is excruciating - especially when you have been waiting for a year for a BFP!

The patience required for long term TTC is beyond me.

Anyway, wishing everyone luck here. The support from MN has been invaluable, it's so so helpful to share with people who know what you are going through.

Hi all, sounds like most of us are in the same boat. Hopefully our luck will change soon, we've all been waiting a little while now!
Totally get when you say you can't quite believe it, i just never thought it would take me this long. It's hard accepting that you're in it for the long haul and the patience bit is so hard.
I didn't get a solid smiley face last month and that was the month we really pulled out all the stops after enjoying the summer- no drinking, eating as healthy as possible, yoga etc etc - then this month I've got it today and dh is away until next Thursday.. typical. X

Hi everyone hope you're all well! I feel your pain, it doesn't feel fair somehow that so many people get pregnant so quickly and we're struggling.

I am now 12-months contraception free. Doctor has referred me for blood tests but I just feel a bit hopeless about it all.

Its so hard to stay positive but we WILL get there ladies, I think having patience & all the disappointment is the hardest thing, but nothing worthwhile is ever achieved without some struggle. Imagine just how much more amazing it will be when we do get there!!!

So I went out last night for one drink after work... that turned into many. Far far far too many!! After all my diet and everything it was a major detour from good behaviour, but it was so much fun and I did let off a bit of steam. It's definitely not going to help my conception chances!! We weren't trying when I had my DD and I had a carnage hen weekend the weekend AF was due, realised a week later I was pregnant then!! It will be history repeating itself if I do get a bfp this month!

Hello nolm and londonjem

It sounds like you had a fun night Cola. It's important to let your hair down every now and then, especially when you're playing the waiting game. You can't be good ALL the time :)

The disappointment bit and patience is definitely one of the most challenging things I think you can go through but as you say, it will be so amazing for all of us ladies when it does happen. We'll feel like all our Christmases have come at once!!

I went out with a few friends last night and there were a couple of girls there who I don't know as well who have babies and I thought they'd found it easy to conceive etc. Anyway, talking to them last night, I found out that most of them had stopped taking the pill quite some time before their BFP and it had taken them a year, to a year and a half to actually fall pregnant. Just gave me a bit of reassurance that it will happen and shows you that you don't always know the full story and you sometimes think it happens so quickly and easily for other people but it's not always the case.
xx

Chloe that's so true, very few people talk openly about it but I think it's far more common that it takes over a year than the stats we repeatedly hear!!

I'm 8dpo today. I've had stomach cramps and felt nauseous all day, and has insomnia last night, woke at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep. I'm trying to manage my expectations down but still feeling positive. Maybe it's extended hangover!!!!

faith how are you? You're close to me in terms of dpo right? Xxx

So 10dpo today, I tested this morning and honestly I made myself laugh, I swear there's an indentation in the test that I saw a shadow of that I thought maybe might be a super faint line but there is nothing there So I will try to wait but will actually test in morning because I can't help myself! The good news is I'm not feeling stressed, I feel super chilled. I think that book is helping chloe

I have a spot on my chin today which is classic pre period symptom for me. Ah waiting!