10+ months TTC

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I've just reached cycle 10 and I'm despairing. I've tried to stay focused and positive all this time but it's all gotten a bit much. Each month I've tried something new but nothing seems to be working. (This month is acupuncture month, last month was fertilitea month)!

I guess I just needed to vent I don't want to sound like a total debbie downer but today's been tough!

Oh sooz I'm so so sorry. Life is so bloody unfair xx

Anyone else nearing the end of 2ww and waiting to pos?

I’m at day 30, af due on Tuesday but skin has started to break out and had some cramps over the last few days so not great signs for a bfp.

Just feeling really down and I know with sooz’s sad news that there is so much more still to come!

sooz again I’m so sorry and it’s just cruel & unfair this has happened. hope you are as well as could be expected under the circumstances and just know that you are in peoples thoughts xxx

justwaiting hello and welcome. Sorry to hear you’re in this boat too. Hoping your investigations give you some answers x

bugs I don’t really poas at all now unless I’m really far over as I find it too upsetting. The 2ww is still tough but tends to be that I try to keep my expectations very low for self preservation. If it’s been a month where we had lots of particularly good well timed sex I do find it hard not to get my hopes up, but I did so much poas with negative results that I really want to be sparing with it.
Good luck for hopefully a better result Xxx

Thank you guys. It really means a lot. We are coping, DH is looking after me. I feel I can cope with the next few weeks but that Christmas is going to be very hard. It doesn't help we've moved to a new area and have zero friends; my parents are a short drive away but I really miss a friend to meet for coffee or who can just join me on the sofa and distract me.

Sorry to hear sooz

Sorry to hear sooz

Hi sooz, I sympathise, we have also just moved and have no friends locally and I started a new job so it’s all a bit stressy. My miscarriage has now been diagnosed as ectopic. They’re doing expectant management so no end in sight currently! Feeling v v sorry for myself right now! Be kind to yourself, so sorry this is happening to you x

Well all back home now after my lap & dye and hysteroscopy, feeling tired and a tiny bit sore but happy to report it’s done and was a good day. Great doctors, nurses, all the hospital staff so feeling really grateful and hoping all healing goes smoothly now.

Summary:

1. Mild to moderate endo found and treated (burned off!) ✅
2. Two cysts on ovaries/tubes found and removed ✅
3. My tubes are open but there was gunk in them (he called it snot 😂) which has been cleaned out which should help ✅
4. Inside my uterus looked good. Did a bit more “spring cleaning” in his words ✅
5. Follow up appointment in a month to look at my internal before and after photos (ha!) ✅

I have adenomyosis which was found on my scan in June, that is still there as it can’t really be removed (it’s adhesions in the muscle wall of uterus) so we will talk about that in follow up appointment. It isn’t always a problem for fertility, if it is there are some options to shrink it by going into temporary menopause for three months then trying to conceive. BUT this might not be necessary as a lot of positive things happened today that should help. ✅

So honestly I’m delighted. Really good outcome and thankfully not the “nothing found” that i was afraid of. So really feeling like it was a win and we will see how it goes now over next months.

Sorry this is long but writing it was really helpful for me so I put in all the details 😁🙌🏼

Thanks, @Marriageoftrueminds, same to you. It's hard isn't it?

@Colabottles64 - that sounds so positive! Rest up, look after yourself and my fingers are crossed for you!

Well ladies how is everyone doing? Xxx

Happy to report recovery going well here and feeling great today after being quite tired and a bit sore last two days.

Great that you are feeling better cola

I’m now on cd 37, usually cycle is around 31/32 days so no clue what’s been happening. Have taken a few tests but all been bfn and then today had a tiny bit of spotting so think af is on way! no idea why it’s taken so long or what this means going forward so feeling pretty down with it all now!

Hi just checking in and catching up. I’m due to ov in the next couple of days but DH has been away. In some ways it’s taken the pressure off as we have just dtd when we can but I don’t think we’ve got a great shot at it this month. Realistically it will be our last month trying before getting the ball rolling with investigations and I’ve resigned myself to us needing help to conceive.

Cola I’m pleased your op went well and that you’re recovering. That’s great that they could treat what they found at the same time. Hopefully a spring clean was all you needed!

Bugs how frustrating. If af is going to arrive then hope she shows up soon. I was two days late last month and it was so crushing.

Sooz how are you feeling? I also don’t live near friends/family and understand how hard that can be. I went to stay with friends this weekend and i realised how much I missed a good girly chat - she’s also finding ttc hard.

bugs, it’s really just not fair when cycles run late & get our hopes up only to get bfn’s. Do you track ovulation, did it run late? Xx

betsey good luck with the investigations. Having finally gotten to some conclusions for ours, I can say that even if you feel completely fine there can be things going on you just had no idea of. Hopefully it happens for you very soon but if not in the end knowledge is power and the investigations may really help.

We had hubbys semen checked again. Apparently it’s amazing, I thought they were going to ask him to buy some they were so enthusiastic!! Sent a bit off for a dna fragmentation test. doctor was pretty confident it will be clear. also advised us to dtd every day during fertile window as opposed to every second day, as frequency increases the quality (the volume may be lower but the sperm quality better apparently) so that’s a new one for us.
Got my post op notes in post (fast!) - apparently one of my cysts was right where the ovary & tube meet, and the other tube has muscular weakness. as well as the endo coming off that should give us a better chance having that gone.

Hoping to put tree up today but DD just barfed so possibly deferred to tomorrow!

Thanks folks, yes track ovulation but just using the cheapie strips from amazon. Last couple of months I seem to have ovulated around day 20 but this month had faint lines on cd17 and cd24 and 25 suppose just shows I’m running a week late?

Don’t know how I can face Christmas, spent last year trying and when we were at the in laws I thought I could be until af arrived! We said we would have a baby by this Christmas or that we’d have news for everyone and still nothing! Next af will be between Xmas and new year now which I know will just get my hopes up.

Friends of ours just bought a new house, got engaged and a week later announced they have a baby on the way, I’m happy for them as I know it will be great for them but they are coming over next weekend to celebrate and I can’t help feeling so jealous!

DH said this morning that he thinks maybe we should go to the docs. Anyone able to share what tests etc we would have first?

Sorry for the doom and gloom!

Bugs, our nhs doctor started us with blood tests, to confirm ovulation was taking place (they call it day 21 but it’s only that if you ov cd14, it should be tested 7 days after ovulation) and to check hormones at start of cycle & full blood count. Hubby did full blood count too and doc gave us a referral to get semen analysis done. Took a few cycles for me to time the “day 21 test” right as I’d stopped doing opks and had to start again.

They were both clear so then got referred to fertility clinic at local hospital in 3 weeks. First appointment underwhelming, just form filling with nurse, she ordered more blood tests for amh and more hormone profiles on certain days of cycle; six weeks later follow up with consultant and he did an internal ultrasound scan. Then depending on what he finds, he may recommend a hsg (tube test to make sure they aren’t blocked) and/ or a laparoscopy if he suspects Endo. Hsg took a further six weeks to book as it had to be certain day of my cycle and had to await availability. After clear hsg I asked for the lap and that was scheduled in 12 weeks.

It varies obviously based on your findings and where you are but thought that would give you an idea. Xxx

Thanks so much for this! Think we should go soon then. Maybe worth the time now so some of the waiting is done over Christmas.

How’s everyone else holding up?

Is there room for one more on this thread? About to embark on cycle 15 of ttc#2 and staring to wonder whether it will ever happen.

Ttc#1 took 11 months including a cp and a ruptured ectopic, so hardly a walk in the park, but I naively thought that it might be faster/ easier this time round.

We’ve had all the basic tests and other than DH’s sperm morphology (which isn’t great) everything else, including his count and motility seems normal so there’s no reason on paper why we shouldn’t manage it ourselves, although after a year of trying without even a hint of a BFP I’m starting to despair somewhat.

Our current plan is to keep trying naturally and if we’ve had no luck by March, get the ball rolling with a view to commencing IVF (in all likelihood with ICSI) in early Summer. We’re self funding as we have a child already so it feels like a huge gamble both emotionally and physically.

Just to add my stats:

35
Ttc #2
Cycle 15 (starting imminently)

Hi Everyone,

I hope you don't mind me joining in. I'm 31 (my husband is 40) and we have been TTC since January. I'm just really starting to despair. I have two friends who both engineered getting pregnant (and had BFPs almost immediately), and it feels like everyone else I see is having a baby. The worst part is that it feels like there's nobody to speak to (except DH). I just imagined it was going to be easy, which I now appreciate is really naïve.

X

Welcome newbies, sorry you have to be here too

@Bugsbubby, I know what you mean, I was still hoping this time last year, 10 months in, that either we'd have a baby or be pregnant by Christmas this year. But all we had was a mc.

It's heartbreaking. I am really not going to enjoy Christmas this year. All I'll be thinking is that I should have been 13 weeks pregnant.

Welcome cariad - I’m ttc #2 also, and like you expected to have a much easier time of it. The desire to give a sibling is strong isn it? I feel so naive that I had things like ideal age gaps in mind. Given the morphology issue, have you considered testing for dna fragmentation of the sperm? It can be caused by a range of things but there seems to be some reasonable treatment options to improve. Another lady on this thread had her husband test with high fragmentation and had turned it around after a small procedure. Might be worth looking into, as it can improve chances naturally and should improve outcomes for Ivf. Happy to give more details if you like, we just did it on Saturday and awaiting results now as we are thinking ivf in a few months if nothings happened by then x

Hi seb, sorry to hear you’re going through this. Its Only natural to feel upset and we all understand the pain of the baby bomb so you won’t get any judgement here about not being full of joy for every relation/colleague/person on the street who seems to be pregnant. It’s hard and unfair. Have you thought about starting some investigations to maybe see if anything isn’t as it should be? A lot of us were very nervous to get going, but found that it’s helped give a sense of progress and moving forward.

bugs Christmas is hard. Last year I was just convinced it would happen by some Christmas miracle. It didn’t and I got a horrendous flu. I reckon lots of us dearly hoped to at least be pregnant by this Christmas. trying to remember the upside - I can enjoy a glass of bubbly now at the Christmas party so trying to focus on that!! Are there things you could do to take the pressure off a bit over Christmas? Maybe plan something special to look forward to? Xx

Aw sooz that’s completely understandable. How are you both? Xxx

Thanks @colabottles64 I was at the Dr a couple of months ago to discuss a 3 month absence of AF, I'm planning to try to book an appointment for the New Year because she did tell me to come back if we still hadn't gotten anywhere by the end of the year. I'm trying to keep positive, but it is hard.

@Colabottles64, thanks, we are okay. I have moments of being fine and periods of being absolutely miserable. DH is mostly sad for me, I think, but also for himself. We are trying to stay hopeful but I've no idea when I will ov or get af and after nearly 2 years of knowing almost exactly, it's weird. The thought of not being preggers at Christmas is a heartbreaking one. I almost wish I'd never got a bfp, then at least it would be normal sadness rather than grief.

Hi ladies, we are approaching 1000 posts so almost time for a new thread.

We have some exciting news that we're going to be moving to a new apartment which will be absolutely perfect, whether we manage another child or not. Other than that Christmas will be a nice distraction, with friends visiting, and we have testing in January so lots of things and I'm sure the time will fly by.