10+ months TTC

[Kookie88]

I've just reached cycle 10 and I'm despairing. I've tried to stay focused and positive all this time but it's all gotten a bit much. Each month I've tried something new but nothing seems to be working. (This month is acupuncture month, last month was fertilitea month)!

I guess I just needed to vent I don't want to sound like a total debbie downer but today's been tough!

Aww congrats Chlo22 that great news! It's funny how stuff sometimes just works out when you stop worrying about it

Hey ladies. So I just feel anytime I have news I wanna post it here. Hubby sperm analysis was all good, so glad to be able to tick something off the list. After spotting yesterday AF still hasn't shown but is definitely on way. 37 day cycle and counting.... I can only conclude I'm getting so stressed about ttc that it's impacting it. I've felt very tense at points this month. I'm gonna take a leaf from Chlos book & put away the tests, opks, constant googling and cm checking for a few cycles and just try get back to sex for fun & doing things to relax and destress. I'll still be here but gonna try just keep on the light side for a while. All this fainting and such has made me realise I need to let myself rest and unwind a bit and all this ttc pressure I'm putting on myself is not helping.

Hope you're all hanging in there xxx

congrats chlo!! Wonderful news.
Cola good news about the SA. Hate long cycles, they have screwed with my head too many times. Think similar is happening now, this is the first cycle I didn't get a +ve opk and AF due tomorrow but with no sign so prepared for a long cycle.

Great news on the SA Cola. Sorry you've been so stressed, ttc is a recipe for it and you're definitely not alone. I have good months and bad months, so maybe this is just a tough one for you and you'll feel better soon. But yeah your plan sounds like a good one - it's not good to be constantly obsessing. Having said that I'm doing just that at the moment! I always go a bit loopy near testing date so I'll let myself off! ;-)

Hope you feel much better soon!

Blackcherries hope AF stays away and you get your BFP!

oh bums, got a bfn today. Not feeling too upset as this is the first time I've tested since knowing we have an actual problem ttc so didn't have any expectations, just tested to rule it out - in the past I've had a reasonable expectation each time I tested!
No sign of AF though, I am getting the feeling that someone up there is toying with us. Had loads of ups and downs and not even begun ivf yet!

Yeah I'm with you on the toying with us thing - sometimes it really does feel like that! I'm not sure when to expect AF this month as I seemed to ovulate super early, so I'm half expecting about a week of being toyed with. Meh! Trying not to get hopes up but of course I always do to some extent. The joys of this rollercoaster eh! X

blackcherries sorry about the bfn. Have you a date for your ivf to start? Xxx

trying sending you lots of calm patient vibes (that I had zero of lol) for the 2ww xxx

AF stopped dicking me about and made its appearance today - about the only time I was looking forward to it as knew I wasn't pg. 37 day cycle, longest ever for me. I feel a bit sheepish as I really thing my stress levels are to thank for it. I handed my hubby a bag of opk and pg tests to hide this morning, it felt good getting them out of my reach! Working on a calmer few months ahead. It's amazing just how much pressure you can put yourself under.

Anyone else starting to long for summer? So so so done with this dark, can't wait for bright evenings and not needing a coat

Sorry about AF Cola. I'm 99.9% certain the witch will claim me soon as well. It sucks but it sounds like you have a plan, and it's always good to have a plan!

AF got me today. 12 months and 12 cycles of nothing :-( Time to book a GP appointment and present myself for prodding. Feeling a bit crap what with AF pains but hopefully will soon rally round and see the positives of getting checked out. Hopefully DP will also get himself checked without excessive nagging being required!

Hi all,
Hope everyone's looking forward to the weekend. Thought I'd check back in as you ladies totally understand this whole journey. I've had a bit of brown spotting for last couple of days so have been getting all worried. I went to the EPU and they said it's normal and a lot of women get this but am now checking manically every time I go to the loo. Having an early scan next Thursday so it's going to be a long wait until then! Trying to be positive as think that's what helped me actually get a BFP this month but guess I just wanted to vent that the worrying never bloody stops! Have booked to go and see the reflexologist lady today as hoping she can give me a couple of remedies to help me chill out. xx

Good luck chlo. I had some brown spotting with my first pregnancy and it was fine, lasted a couple of days I think. Yes the worrying never stops!

Still no AF and I'm on cd29, have read that not ovulating in a cycle can make it long so I think that might be happening, grrr... Can't plan any dates for ivf until it starts!

Hi ladies hope you are all having a nice weekend. We saw our GP this week, she was really good and is referring us both for tests. Bloods and scan for me and SA for DH. I'm really relieved she was so helpful although we aren't quite at the year point, and that we are now in the system and can get things started to hopefully identify any issues. Also a bit sad that it's got to this stage but it feels like a step in the right direction. First blood test booked in for just after my period is due in a couple of weeks so if this cycle is another failed one then at least I will have something positive (sort of) to focus on.

Cola I definitely hear you on waiting for the summer! I am so done with the dark and the cold!

You're just ahead of me, Sunshine - have booked GP appt for Weds. Feels a bit rubbish having to face the fact this hasn't happened within 12 months as we had hoped it would, but I know this is the sensible course of action. As you say, it makes sense to have a plan at least. Did you go together? I have just booked for myself and kinda thought DP would have to go separately.

Chlo I hope you're ok and that the reflexology helped you to relax while you wait for your scan. Everything crossed for you, hope you get reassuring news :-)

blackcherries I hope that AF has made her mind up and either shown up or given you a happy surprise!

It is a bit shit and sad to make the first steps but I'm so glad I did. I'm still sad it hasn't happened naturally BUT I got AF at the weekend so getting IVF dates booked in. Nothing to do for a couple of weeks then the drugs start and within 6 weeks or so it'll all be over. Just had to ring up and order the drugs and now have to pay over a grand for them!!!

I'm still trying not to assume it'll end in a happy pregnancy but now I am idly wondering about potential due dates and if it could coincide with Christmas or DS1's birthday!

Sounds like you're all ready for it blackcherries, hope everything goes brilliantly for you

Hello, can I join your thread? I think I'm about ready to move on from the buses. Lovely though they are it's getting a bit wearing to see the same newbie questions over and over or people stressing because month two is sooo hard.

Started trying at the end of March which would make it 10 months now. Two miscarriages in that time but mostly just waiting and waiting. I've been through the carefree stage and now I just feel bitterly disappointed every time AF arrives, even though I know it's stupid.

No idea what's up with my cycle this month as I've got a rotten cold which has thrown my temps all out of wack, plus (sorry, TMI) seem to be producing buckets of CM for over a week now. My BBT has gone back to normal but it's clearly a pre-O temperature so not sure when it will happen. And haven't really been feeling very sexy either!

Welcome, Bertie. So sorry about your miscarriages. Sounds like a really tough 10 months for you.

I know what you mean about no longer being in the carefree phase and finding AF really difficult. Some months I have been pretty ok but this one I found really hard and like I'd been kicked in the guts.

There are lots of supportive people on here who understand what it can be like, so have a good rant if it helps!

Ps: remind me what feeling sexy is again? It feels like a distant memory!

Haha, yes, I know! We haven't ever been very prescriptive about timing though - I read something early on about timing not being that important as long as you hit the fertile window once. So mostly been able to keep to doing it when we felt like it, but there have been a couple of months where it's been a clinical affair, but we are still managing to find that amusing which helps.

DH has a balanced translocation so we knew it could take longer. We're coming up to the point we can actually ask them to investigate now, they wouldn't before.

So I went to GP today. He wants my DP to have an SA before he starts any tests on me. It took me 4 years of nagging to even get him to register at the docs so I fear this is going to be a battle!

welcome Bertie! Yes, it feels like I've been under a black cloud for most of the past year. It's always there in the back of your mind.

trying good luck, hope he doesn't make a big deal out of it. It makes life a lot easier when you're both on the same page. The women have to go through a lot in these tests, so it's not fair if he kicks up a fuss about what he has to do! Good idea to get SA first as it's fairly simple (wish we had!)

Got my drugs couriered today. Don't need to start taking them for a little bit but it's weird seeing them in the fridge all the time.

Hope there is some comedy value blackcherries. I had to keep little pots of wee in the fridge when I did a clinical trial recently - glad I remembered to explain when my friend came to stay for the weekend!

Are you all set to go now? Hope you're feeling excited :-)