40+ ttc: the one where we all get knocked up!

[ababsurdum]

Shiny new thread. Here's the link to the previous one.

Hello all,

If my basal temps are rising around when you'd expect ovulation does that mean I am ovulating?

I just had a random chat with an oven engineer about clomid; his wife is expecting their second at 40. I know nothing about it but google seems to indicate that if your basal temp is rising in line with ovulation, you probably are ovulating, if not clomid is one of the things that helps.

(Spot the very naive person here!)

Hi Violet,

Yes your temp would rise after ovulation and stay high. Do you have a chart you can post or are you just keeping a mental note?

I've just started temping - I've noticed physically over the last few months without taking temp. It's really noticeable during the night and next morning.

For some reason I'm feeling anxious that this month I'm not going to rise? Would I still get a period?

I'm not getting any joy on opks really, and just run out! I got ewm a couple of days ago but no rise as yet :/

Over thinking but thinking I need to get my head around this!

There's a book a few people have talked about I know called taking charge of your fertility - thinking of getting it as I seem to be pretty clueless!

That's a really good book.

You're not clueless, fertility is such a mystery. You could have everything lined up but still not conceive.

I bet you do ov this cycle. My temp sometimes takes a few days to rise.

I think if you don't ov, you get a lighter period but don't quote me on that.

Thanks Ali. I was thrown by a comment the engineer said (that many struggle with number two - they had and 40 - due to not enough hormone that releases eggs) and freaked a bit! It was so stupidly easy to conceive first time. Though I did temp.

My periods are a tad heavier if anything. My joints flare during hormonal surges and I've noticed ovulation and pmt are very much flare times, so assumed ovulation. Plus regular ewcm (though sometimes only one day).

The other book that's really good is "It starts with the egg" which is geared to older women or those with with fertility issues, it has loads of good tips and evaluates all the evidence for what makes a difference and what doesn't. It's quite scientific. Hope you get a clear ovulation this month. Apparently it is normal to miss a month occasionally.

I saw a specialist today and he thinks I do have Asherman's / adhesions but only in the lower part of the uterus. The upper part looked healthy. I'm not clear how much this is stopping me from conceiving as implantation happens in the healthy looking upper part. I now suspect my tubes are blocked which is why I haven't had any kind of implantation, not even a chemical. So now I'm booked for a treatment hysteroscopy and HSG. He said we should go straight into IVF with chromosomal testing to maximise our chances. So unless we get a miraculous bfp this month, that's what we're doing. It's a bit of a shock but our best chance.

Have you had your blood results back, Alibaba? Are you doing anything else differently this month?

Thanks caluna, I've heard of that one too. I'll have a look at that one.

I think it's just reality hitting mixed with faint panic (that this could be a long road and I have no idea the state of my reproducing ability!)

Caluna, is the hysteroscopy to remove the adhesions? Why do you think your tubes are blocked?

Blood results were good (better than last lot). Because I ov early, cd3 is too late for me to test FSH so this time I tested on cd1.

I'm just waiting on AMH results, hopefully tomorrow.

He said that I'm fertile and should be able to conceive on my own. We'll see.

He reassured me that loads of women conceive mid-40s and I shouldn't be put off by what I've read or heard from doctors.

Not doing anything different this month other than staying positive and he gave me a herbal tea for implantation.

Hi everyone, welcome to everyone, just been lurking as nothing to report but thought I'd update tonight if only to keep me sane! I have no clue what's happening. A show of red blood on Monday night, 8 days after dtd, cd 23. Brown blood ever since, but only when I wipe, and not all the time, comes and goes, quite watery! AF due Sat, tested today, but not FMU, was negative, will test in the morning. Thoughts? Does this sound hopeful? I can barely think of anything else today x

I presume you've never had that before Tober?

It definitely could be!

Keep testing and good luck!

No, I usually have some brown blood at the time I would be expecting AF which becomes a proper flow within 24 hours.
Will update either way.
Thank you

Hi all! [waves]

Sorry I've been MIA for a long time. Welcome newbies, and hello old friends!

Ali - good luck on your AMH results. I hope your doc is right!

Tober keeping my fingers crossed that you've had an IB! Have you tested today?

Violet I've read that one of the most reliable indicators of ov is a change to CM. I usually get EWCM for up to a week, then after a few days I usually get a bit of thicker opaque stuff, yellow or cream. Apparently that's a good sign that ov has happened and progesterone levels have shot up. My GP confirmed ov with day 5 & day 21 blood tests - they test for oestrogen, progesterone & a few other hormones. Worth asking about if you're concerned...?

So, things have been a bit of a rollercoaster for me. Did IVF#2 2 weeks ago. 15 eggs, 8 mature, 5 fertilised, only 1 5-day blast that wasn't good enough quality to PGS or freeze. Rather than put it in the bin, I had a fresh transfer last weds. Hasn't worked - now 8dpt (so 13dpo) & no symptoms whatsoever. Took a FRER yesterday which was snowy white. With my 5 other pregnancies (still no living children after my son died) I've had symptoms & a BFP by now. So writing this cycle off & looking at donor eggs.

Also yesterday I had a suspected melanoma removed from my foot. Waiting for the biopsy results to see if I need more surgery or treatment.

Life is never dull. I wish it was. I keep getting updates from a friend who is also a bereaved mum. She got randomly knocked up on a drunken night out, a few months after her son died. Guess we all grieve in different ways. She's now a mummy to a baby girl. She knows about my 3 mcs & 2 failed ivfs & possible cancer, but thinks I might want to hear all about her insta-duff baby.... I hate feeling envious but I do.

Anyway, good luck to all. Hoping for some better news for everyone xx

OMG Fuzzy, so sorry to hear your news about the failed cycle and the suspected melanoma. I had a mole removed before Xmas and got the results a few weeks ago that it was indeed melanoma but early stages. Was very freaked out and had a wobbly few days especially as we were going to do a 3rd IUI with clomid which then got cancelled because of a cyst (all I could think of was cancer!) Really hope it all goes well - the waiting is the worse part. In most cases they just cut a but more off then monitor. I'm on a very good support group if you want me to add you? Your friend sounds very insenstive. Hope you have some others around you who can support you properly. Sending lots of love. xx

Thomas I'd appreciate the add, thank you. Do you want me to PM you with my Facebook user name? So sorry you went through all this too.

The surgeon thinks it's probably melanoma (having seen thousands of them!) but he said the pigmentation was very shallow, so the prognosis is good. It was very painful, as it's on the ball of my foot - you'll know how much the anaesthetic injection hurts! Apparently the ball of the foot is one of the worst places for it. I had a carcinoma on my nose about a decade ago, which was also a pretty sore place to have the jabs! Yes, the wait isn't nice. Hoping that it's 'in situ'. He said any extra removal will be done under general anaesthetic which is a relief.

So glad it ended well for you, but sorry you had all this anxiety. In a way I think it's for the best ivf didn't work. I'd hate to have to choose between harming my baby or going without life saving treatment (I know I'd choose the latter which would bring yet more grief to the family). Xxx

So sorry to hear your news MrFuzzy. I do hope you get some good news soon. Thanks for the info - ewcm is confusing this month. Still waiting for temp rise; staring to wonder if not ovulating some months. Or maybe later this month.

Starting to see why every other day is recommended; DH and I are getting a bit bd -ed out actually!

Hi all, sorry you've had such a rollercoaster Fuzzy.. you really deserve some good luck on all counts soon. And Thomas sorry you've had tough and scary time too . V much hope things turn out well for you both.

Recently saw pics of a family friend who had her first at 45/46 after trying ivf for a long time. She looked over the moon and my mum who Saw her in person says so.

Pls can anyone help me w this qn.. This month I got lots ewcm day 10 and soon turned sticky in course of cd11. But I didn't get clear temp shift until cd14 by which time I'd had couple of days sticky cm. which is more accurate in terms of ov? Can the temp shift come 3 days after you ov?

Clara is like to know that too as it's a similar scenario here this month!

Unless anovulatory?

Hi all,

Fuzzy - hope you get good news from your biopsy and if IVF hasn't worked, hope 3 is the lucky number. As for your friend, it's natural to feel envious and Instagram puts a perfect filter on normal lives. It really gets to me when I'm feeling down.

Clara - my cm often turns creamy on the day of ov. It sounds like you started ov on cd11? My temp would then rise 2 days after ov finishes so cd14.

Violet - when do you think you ov'd?

Ali I really don't know.

My most usual
Cycle length is 24-25 days. I've had the odd longer, up to 29 days. I thought I usually get ewcm around day 8-10, it was day 16 of the last 29 one.

This month I got I load on day 10. Then either none / dry or wet. Then I've had it very obviously on day 14,15 and today 17. No clear temp rise yet though. No clear opk though I ran out between 13-15. It was confusing earlier in my cycle as there were some that were stronger (around day 6-9) but I don't think I did them correctly. No positive ones that I can tell since then.

So maybe I'm still waiting?!

Very sore nipples on day 15 - I don't usually notice this as an Ov sign but thinking just more into symptom spotting at the mo!

Violet have you tried the Clear Blue ones with dual indicator? It measures for the LH surge but also for rising oestrogen. I've found them easier to use than the normal strips. In fact, one month on the little strips I never had a clear LH surge. It went quite dark but never anywhere near as dark as the control line. That month I had a chemical pregnancy, so I must have ov'd. Another month (after a D&C) I had about 3 days of strong positives, so gawd knows what that means. While I'm waiting for IVF#3 () I'm going back to the Clear Blues.

Yes I use the clear blues too. I started them on cd6 this cycle due to last month's early ov. I got high yesterday and today so hoping to get a peak tomorrow (cd11).

They all sound like ov symptoms Violet, you'll probably get a temp rise in a day or 2 so this is probably a longer cycle.

Fuzzy, hope you get some good news while you wait #3.

I know that with ds, it was the first month of temping and opks that I got pregnant. I never saw a clear opk, though in hindsight I could work out one that was slightly darker. But I clearly did ovulate as he's now a very energetic 4 year old!

I did read it should be taken around 12-2 in the afternoon though, with him it was always first thing in the morning. It's hard to do them properly at work.

The price of those have put me off tbh. I've gone to the one step ones and being more strict about doing them carefully.

Today's is the first with nothing on it except the test line, though very weak urine.

I agree; I think I'm later this month.