40+ ttc: the one where we all get knocked up!

[ababsurdum]

Shiny new thread. Here's the link to the previous one.

No not measuring temp. Blood tests just measure hormones as do the ovulation tests u can do yourself. Had a blood test before i conceived dd2 and decided it was pretty useless. Basically it only measures hormones on that day which means if u r ovulating late or early it wont b detected. When i had blood test with dd2 Dr said I probably did not ovulate that month but then weed on sticks and found out I ovulate very late in cycle. So the test would not have picked up. Also because length of my cycle is so varied it is difficult to say when to test.

Welcome Pooger and Mrs Barnett! I'm ttc no3 like you Pooger and am 44.

I've got more bleeding this am like start of period so I think I'm out unfortunately. Bit gutted as I was finally really hopeful! Hopefully blood results tomorrow will help tell me what was going on. Maybe miscarriage at 6weeks which I guess is v common in 40s?

Has anyone had miscarriage at 6weeks and is it pretty similar to period? I've only had at 10/11 weeks and that was v painful. Hoping this much more straightforward.

Ali, City, thanks for hanging in. Hoping that you ladies will get a BFP to show for it!!!

Clara101 I have had a very early miscarriage three months ago. Started bleeding about ten days after period was due and only three days after positive test. It was just like a heavy period. No pain. Hope this helps.

Welcome Pooger! Please pull up a cushion on the sofa. I went to see my GP this morning. She thinks my backache, cramps, bloating etc are due to stress. I was sent away with a "don't worry I see loads of women in their 40s who get pregnant" and a "come back in the new year and we shall see..."

Clara, I had an early MC in March. I had implantation spotting the month before then a 19day cycle (really unusual for me) then a rather heavy period that lasted 9 days (again unusual for me). No pain for me either, well apart from the normal period pain.

In addition to the IUI, DP and I have been making good use of the fertile period this time. If it doesn't work this month it's probably because it simply was too crowded and the sperms trampled each other to death before getting lucky.

... but on a more serious note, I forgot just how awful the two week wait is. I haven't felt this hopeful in a while, and now I just want to know. It doesn't help that the side effects of progesterone (sensitive, painful breasts; headaches; fatigue) are similar to the kind of things I'd look out for as signs of success.

Clara Sorry to hear that, that sucks. :(
Welcome Pooger. I found the ovulation sticks fairly unreliable. When I had blood tests done to find out whether I'm ovulating, I initially timed the blood tests by the ovulation date I established through the testing sticks. Based on the sticks I had come to think I ovulate on day 12/13 and have a short post-luteal phase. The doctors were almost concerned I was anovulatory but then did the blood tests based on the cycle length minus 14 days post-luteal phase and lo and behold, the hormones would indicate ovulation. tl,dr: testing sticks and blood tests didn't agree in my case.

City, well, that sounds partly hopeful but the waiting sucks.

Welcome (back) mrsbarnettsbaby. Hope you'll be successful soon!

Oh thank you Pooger and City. Hopefully I'll be same. Currently catching up on all the internet stuff I never usually get time to do whilst in bed ;-).

City, if you possibly can find ways to deal with the stress I think it will help. I think you said you are 40, which is young, and healthy with good results so you have v good chances. If you have worries on your mind about the past, why only ttc now etc, you have to put that aside and think positive. Just do all the postive things you can now and have faith it will happen.

I swear this increases chances. I know this from seeing when I got stuck trying to conceive dc2 at 41/42 and changes that finally helped.

For different people I think any of the following can help with the stress:

• counselling (to deal with anger from the past, I def had this ref previous rubbish partners, so you don't overload and stress current rel)
• acupuncture (it's calming and helps with whole body health and regulating cycle if needed)
• yoga
• walks
• any stuff you like doing and hanging out with positive people.

(I did all of this. Was extremely stressed at idea of never having kids.)

The following lifestyle things also help in our 40s (tho don't make yourself miserable):

• no caffeine (I love coffee but I believe cutting it out has helped me conceive in 40s)
• no alcohol (not just in 2ww)
• healthy diet - not too much sugar, loads of veg, enough protein/meat/fish

At 40 with good stats and this sort of approach you will definitely get there. All this helps with IVF if you eventually pursue that. At 44 I'm probably pushing my luck and blessed to have two DCs but will keep trying why not!

💐💐💐💐💐💐

Ps sorry if shooting in dark but in case helpful!

Just a quick one to say sorry Clara. I've had mcs at 5w and they were both just a heavy period. The second one was more painful, but I think that's because I'd mcd the previous month as well. If it's any consolation, I had another bfp 2 months later. It ended in a D+C at 9w but it shows that things must bounce back quite quickly x

Thanks for the long response Clara. The stress is due to other factors, not TTC. The TTC part is the happiest part of my life at present as it gives me some focus.

Re your list of suggestions:
I already do yoga, swim, aerobics, and walk everywhere.

I've been veggie for over 20 years so like to think I have a healthy diet with loads of fresh fruit and veg. Even stopped the tofu consumption as I read its loaded with estrogen and now reverted to full fat milk as again semi/skimmed is loaded with estrogen.
I had counselling when me exDP left me a couple of years ago and that was useful. GP has given me a list of alternative counsellors re the other stressful stuff.
The only caffeine I have is one cup of tea in the morning then the rest of the day herbal or water.
Cut back on the wine consumption.
Trying to be positive and just had a very happy lunch and out this evening with friends.
I don't think there is much else I can do really... Just sit on the sofa and be patient/frustrated!

Thanks for your time making the list. Always helps if any of us thinks we aren't doing enough in this TTC business.

Wow, super healthy City!!

Thanks ladies. The doc just called to say blood results show I'm pregnant. But BHCG looks low for 6 weeks (875) and progesterone too (2.2). Maybe that's why I'm bleeding. Waiting for advice on whether there's any point in going to hosp or just sit it out at home. Can they salvage a pg by supplementing progesterone??

On the upside looks like I did actually conceive... So listen up Pies, Ababs, Pooger, there's hope for us 43/44ers!!!

Ermm sun shines out of healthy backside...oops. I had a small glass of wine with a christmas lunch. I am no

Wow clara! Fingers crossed and please let us know.

Did the doc give any advice Clara?

Hi Clara. 2.2 is very low - I think it needs to be at least 15 and ideally 25. I think the EPU should see you ASAP for a scan. They should give you progesterone if all is looking ok. In my mmc my level was 24.5 so they didn't bother, but they've told me nevertheless that I will be given progesterone suppositories after 6w next time. You may be able to self-refer and get in very soon. Low hCG doesn't necessarily mean it's unviable as the normal range is massive. Keeping my fingers crossed that you can get answers ASAP x

No I'm still waiting for them to call back..! Will try calling someone else soon I think.

oh thanks Fuzzy that's super helpful. I live overseas so no EPU here and didn't want to randomly wait at local A &E if not viable. Now trying DP to see if he can come home and take me. From what I've been told 2 is too low for progesterone and wd make of unviable but I didn't know if anything can be done abt it.

Mmm. It's one of those things. Yes, typically low progesterone is a symptom of an unviable pregnancy, not a cause, but that's not always the case. Some women have viable pregnancies but need help to sustain them if their corpeus luteum breaks down prematurely. This is what the midwife at the recurrent miscarriage clinic explained to me anyway. So yes, get help as soon as you can. X

Ok thanks fuzzy... I did tell DP to keep his phone on at football... Guys huh!

Hello ladies, thx for encouraging me to go in. Pg not viable unfortunately.. But it was good to get it checked and know what to expect. Hope for some other BFP news b4 Christmas!

Sorry to hear that Clara

Did you go to hospital?

Yes.. hCG gone down since yday and scan showed not viable so it's early mc..

Ah crap. So sorry Clara. Daft question, but how are you feeling? I know there's not a bright side to this, but I've taken some comfort from my mcs in knowing that we can still conceive. Hope you can take some time for some R&R

Clara, sorry to hear that. :(