40+ ttc: the one where we all get knocked up!

[ababsurdum]

Shiny new thread. Here's the link to the previous one.

Alibaba - lmp was end of sept so ovulated start of October -only dtd twice that month as it was so busy with life crap. Totally didn't expect a bfp - I even went away for a weekend with all my sanitary towels etc as I though the cramps were af and shitty timing.

Fuzzy - it still seems unreal and if I'm honest I'm still distancing myself from being pregnant (sickness etc aside!) -I'm worried about being too distant but I can't allow myself to relax just yet. I know it's stupid and I should feel greatful for why is in all reality a huge blessing but dear god the fear is immense.

Sorry for everything you've been through Fuzzy, I've been reading back on the thread. It must be such a hard time of year. Is there anything you can do to keep busy and just get the next few weeks out of the way? Although, I guess it's part of the grieving process and I always feel better after a good cry. Indeed roll on January. Will you be starting your next round of IVF then? Or does it start this month?

Bloop, are you feeling less sick now? When's your next appointment?

Fuzzy, it sounds from your earlier posts as if your husband has been amazingly strong for you both with everything you've been through... Sorry you're both having a tough time. The anniversaries must be very hard. To be honest I think it's a huge victory for a couple to stay strong and supportive of each other like you having been through such painful times so huge credit to you both. Im not religious but believe in karma of some sort so I'm sure your second child will come, tho I bet you wish they wd hurry up....! And so do all of us on here for you!!! Like you say that won't bring Billy-Joe back, which must be the hardest thing in the world, but will give you the joy of a new baby.

As for me, well when I was writing above about what ifs, I was thinking mine must be tiny compared to yours and really not ones to complain about. Mine are what if I'd met DP younger etc etc which is really neither here nor there. You've been a huge inspiration to many of us on here for months with your positive thinking despite awful circs, so hang in there, we are here for you when it's tough!

Right now I'm trying to stop myself hoping that possibly I'm pg as 2 days later than usual. Usually when I hope that AF makes an immediate appearance!! so trying to hang back and just wait and see.

Thank you, folks. Xmas can't be avoided - unless you live in the middle of nowhere, have no family, and enough food to last from October until January. We'll muddle through and do our best, but I'll probably go incommunicado for a while over the hardest few weeks.

Ali, I start the hormone priming on Monday for 21 days. Then I'll have a withdrawal bleed, and start IVF on day 2 of that bleed. So probably the end of Dec.

Clara, good luck! When will you test? Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Thx Fuzzy, I can't test at home unfortunately. Had a bladder op as a kid that means HPTs don't work for people like me - it confuses the way the test picks up pg hormones so we get false positives. In past I just waited til week late then went for blood test at docs to confirm. By the time that came back I knew for sure anyway. Enforced zen-ness for a not v zen person!!

Not had a cycle this long (31 days) this year so it's looking good... Tho symptoms don't feel as clear (eg more CM) as in past. Does anyone know when that usually starts? I'm 44 so trying not to get excited. I know I'll be v lucky if I am pg and then more so if I make it to 12 weeks...

Waves to all...

Symptoms can start when AF is due but mainly once AF is a week late. I didn't know I was pg this year until I was a week late. But then we weren't trying.

Are you getting CM?

Thanks Ali, no not getting much CM. That's the main thing that makes me unsure as remember getting more in past pregnancies, just not how early that started. No metallic taste which did get sometimes before. Some nausea but get that right before AF anyway.. Confusing!

Happy Sunday to all!

The pg cm kicked in for me a good few days in. And I get cm normally before AF anyway.

How many days late are you now?

My period stopped after 2 days and appears to be starting again. It happens every month at the mo, weird!

I've no idea about tests, Ali head in the sand but it sounds like yours are good. Yay!

Clara can't remember when the lots of pg cm started when I didn't miscarry but as I've said many times, all my pregnancies were different! Fingers crossed!

Fuzzy I think of your awful situation often. Sending lots of love your way. Maybe if this (last?) own eggs cycle doesn't work out, though I'm hoping, hoping, hoping for you, your DH could take a break and take antidepressants for a while? If you're doing a DE cycle then there isn't the same feeling of we can't even waste a month. At least, I was just saying that to my own DH the other night, so that is true for me.

ababs I know what you mean. When I hear about pregnancies now it is with gladness for them but sort of a dull what could have been feeling that this has passed me by. C'est la vie.

bloop the fear is awful, but making it to booking is a big step!

I'm on cd35 of this wtf cycle. Negative test on cd28. Think I just ovulated super late and when DH was out of town. Ah well.

Hello and to all. Just dipping in... Well this month the timing was right, ovulation and DP in the country at the same time so I guess that means a TWW. Feeling very apprehensive as time is not on our side and having a wobble about being far too old (comments on another thread didn't help).

Hi all, (re-?)joining the thread as I've just had my first hormone injection for my first IUI cycle after a year and a half of trying and failing to conceive naturally. Have had all the tests done and everything except my age (40) looks good for partner and me so we opted to try a couple of cycles of IUI before moving on to IVF.

Having now had the first injection it feels like such a big milestone but hardly one I can talk about on Facebook or, in fact, elsewhere.

Clara, I guess it's different for everyone. If I'm pregnant I get a ton of symptoms straight away, days before AF, including lots of CM. I've always known by about CD24-25 if I've conceived (except with my first, which was ectopic). I think that's more the exception than the norm though. I read threads where women just pee on sticks for no reason other than the tww, and I wonder why they bother! But plenty seem to get bfps!

Thank you Pies Yes, funnily enough we came to the same conclusion this morning. He needs a break from the rollercoaster, and in all honesty, so do I. I've had non-stop mcs or IVF since Billy-Joe died, and I just need to let my body recover a bit. Nothing to stop us from trying naturally in the meantime. My post mmc cycles were very weird too. Hope things settle down soon.

Good luck Cthulhoo. Keep us posted! How are you feeling?

Hi again City. Fingers crossed for you. What comments have you had? Do you need us to beat someone up for you?

Thank you MrFuzzyGreen. I'm feeling good so far. There was an initial freak out yesterday evening upon realising that, yes, this means I have to get stabbed with a needle repeatedly. Neither of us was keen to do the stabbing but thankfully my partner did it, and did it well. I was pleasantly surprised how painless it was and so far I'm not noticing any side effects at all.

And I now have an appointment Friday morning for blood test and ultrasound. At 7.30 in the morning! The sacrifices we make ...

Fingers crossed for you Cthulhoo. I found IVF very easy too. I did my own injections and I didn't find them painful at all. The only pain I had was after the egg collection, and only because one of my ovaries is in a very awkward place so a nurse had to practically stand on my stomach to move everything out of the way. I was very bruised but ok after a couple of days.

Fuzzy, ouch sounds painful! Do you start priming today? Or is it next Monday?

City/Cthul - good luck to both of you for this cycle.

Pies - will you test again?

Clara - how are you doing?

Yep Ali - just chugged back my first pill! Reckon I'll be a hormonal crazy lady by Friday

Exciting though! Wish you all the luck in the world x

Hey Fuzzy, it wasn't a personal attack on me, it was the generalised statements about older men (and women) that really irritated me/hit home. I would like to put it down to my hormones but it is more the ignorance of others to understand that some people's lives do not follow a/thee "plan"

How are you doing? FX for you too

Thanks Ali. How are things going for you at the mo? What is it with the weird cycles? These days when mine are a tad wonky (always been regular as clockwork) I go into a paranoid "I am perimenopausal" weep.

My period is just finishing so fertile time this weekend. Am so not feeling it at the moment. How can I inject some positivity into this?

Yes, period was a bit weird this month. I always get spotting before then I get 1 heavy day, 1 medium day and the rest light. And it stops for 24 hours in the middle.

What's your story City? Are you ttc naturally?

Hi ladies. Sorry I've not been on for a few days. Been silently stewing at home... Just wanted to check in and let you know, I had my follow-up scan today and all is looking good. There was a wee baby, just under 8 weeks and with a heartbeat. Booking in appointment with the midwife is next week and they booked us for my NT scan today, at 13 weeks. I'm so relieved but simultaneously not sure just how relieved I'm allowed to be just yet. Still only on this board here! Anyway, just wanted to let you know as you've all been so supportive. Keeping everything crossed for all of you

Ali, its so difficult to feel positive when it appears the world is conspiring against us. I keep forgetting to do positive affirmations each morning but ermmm...forget. My story: always wanted children but exP didn't then he did and then he left me for OW. Met current DP at 38 and started TTC at the end of last year. I had investigations at the same sort of time which were apparently great for someone of "my age" i.e. AMH of 26.6. DP lives overseas so timing is everything...oh and he is 54.

Awwww Gizmo what wonderful news

City, AMH sounds great so cling onto that when you need to! How old are you (if you don't mind me asking)?

So it's coming up to a year for you? Do you plan to go down the treatment route if you need to?

I have the option of a private scan plus AMH test this Friday but not sure whether to just book the full-blown hospital tests/consultation in January...

Gizmo, lovely! That helps me with my lack of positivity this morning x

Ali the tests were last year so I'm trying not to think about the fact that everything could have gone awry by now. I'm 40. Yes, its nearly a year but the fact he is based overseas means that we have probably only DTD at the most appropriate time for about 6 months of that. I've shuffled him off to get a SA so will await the results of that before considering other options. The thought of that terrifies me as I wanted to have a child completely naturally.

I would do the tests ASAP as it will allow you to know where you stand. As said all my results were great so it provided some reassurance. We think I miscarried very early in March this year (wonky period and heavy bleed with slight positive on a test) so we are hopefully capable of reproducing.

How old are you and DP/DH?