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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

First time TTC - thread 3

1000 replies

Pyjamas81 · 24/08/2016 16:35

A place for all those trying for their first who didn't know their OPKs from their BBTs, their EWCM from their FRERs and everything in between before discovering Mumsnet!

If you're that glorious mix between excited about getting that elusive BFP and terrified - this is the place for you Smile

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37
florafoxtrot · 31/08/2016 10:33

Your Mum said what Hopey?! That's awful and she should be totally ashamed of herself to say such a thing!
Sorry to hear about your bereavements skee and bassett - I hope you get your little bit of happiness very soon

Skee · 31/08/2016 11:49

I know Hopey! What a wake up call!

Thank you Flora Flowers

MsHopey · 31/08/2016 12:21

I know, was pretty bad. But thankfully I know myself enough to know she's wrong. The mother in law is dying for grandkids, we haven't told anyone were trying because if things don't work out it'll be super awkward. Just hoping it doesn't take too long, we'recommend young but DH father had to have some kind of surgery before he could have kids. And DH brother has been trying to have kids for 3 years and nothing has happened for him. Plus I'm a overweight, just worried that it'll take years for us. And I know DHs brother and his girlfriend get loads of questions about what's wrong with them and what's taking so long. I'd rather everyone think I don't want kids and be surprised if/when we announce it. Anyone else keeping everything secret?

Skee · 31/08/2016 12:29

I've told everyone for years that we don't want kids, and only mentioned to my very nearest and dearest that my view might be softening.... But no one knows we're actively ttc...

MsHopey · 31/08/2016 12:42

Yeah, I'm prettyou much the same. Me and the husband have been together for 7 years, he's always wanted kids and it was always me that said no. I know how much work they can be (I'm the oldest of 8) and I wanted us to be able to live our lives and get to know each other first. But now I've decided on a yes I know everyone would be very surprised. I have said it's not a never ever anymore, but that's it. It seems like we have a massive secret the other half really wants to tell his mom cause she keeps mentioning grandkids, but it i feel it'll all just be disappointing if it takes ages to happen or if it never does.

florafoxtrot · 31/08/2016 13:24

We've not told anyone either - think it would just cause worry for my Mum and MIL but we've now been married for over two years so would expect that people are starting to wonder... and obviously its hard to always be deliberately vague when conversations are going on around children.
MsHopey - do you think your hubby could get an SA based on family history? Might help put your mind at rest?

MsHopey · 31/08/2016 13:48

DH would go for one, his brother has point blank refused because he's scared, but I feel it's a little premature as we've only been trying for 6 weeks. I've always been super careful with contraception so we've never had an accident nor has he had any accidents with anyone else. I just don't want to waste anyones time, and it would require delving more into his family history of fertility which seems really odd without telling them we're trying.

Skee · 31/08/2016 14:12

Yeah - we've been getting the same awkward questions. We've been together for 13 years and when we got married 3 years ago - everyone assumed it was to start a family.

Three years on, many seemed to have given up asking Grin

Eva30 · 31/08/2016 14:21

flora sorry to hear about the work situation, last thing you need whilst TTC. Are you going to start looking for something else or feel like waiting it out there to see what happens?
mrsHopey I couldn't have put it better - I know so many people who got pregnant on the pill! Here's me thinking its 99.9% accurateHmm haha

I've not told anyone. I like the fact we have a little secret. And I couldn't be doing with the pressure of people asking me how's it going, or trying to guess if it's happened.

I got EWCM today - first time I've ever noticed it so maybe the EPO, omega 3 and decaf green tea did help with that after all!

florafoxtrot · 31/08/2016 14:34

Think I'm just going to stick it out Eva - problem with starting somewhere else would be a total lack of maternity pay if we were to fall soon and the package here is not bad. Just in for a crap few months most likely.
Good news on the EWCM! I think that tends to be mean that ovulation is imminent so get dtd!!
Speaking of which - went for a bikini wax last night and my waxer told me I must be ovulating due to the size of the follicles she was yanking out - she's probably mental but it made me laugh! Hmm

bassetmum · 31/08/2016 14:45

MsHopey - what a horrible thing for someone to say

Skee - thank you. I am sorry for your loss too. It took us all by surprise as ten days before we were told he had 4-6 months to live after battling it for 2.5 years.

Me and my OH have been together for 7.5 years now and the amount of times, especially recently, we have been asked if we want kids or when are we going to have them etc by both sides of the family and friends. It has been difficult recently obviously as we have made that decision but we don't want to tell anybody anything yet.

Good luck Eva from what I have discovered on my stalking of the forum that's a good sign :)

MsHopey · 31/08/2016 21:00

I just can't believe how obsessed I've got. I've even been buying baby stuff. I wasn't sure for years, but as soon as I decided yes I wanted that baby straight in my arms. Anyone else got really obsessed immediately? How can I calm myself down? I know it's less likely to happen if I'm trying too hard

miraflores81 · 31/08/2016 23:10

I agree mshopey, although I always wanted children it took me a while to work up the courage to actually start trying, but then when we did I wanted it to happen straightaway! I'm ready now come on!
Like so many other women all your sex ed is focused on preventing pregnancy its skewed our expectations of the ttc process. Although I'm no expert in conception (its not my field) I'm a biomedical scientist and think I should've known better! I really think this is an argument for just telling kids the truth!
I also get obsessed especially in tww, if you find a way to stop doing that let me know!

MsHopey · 01/09/2016 08:09

I think I'm in the 2ww at the moment, we are struggling to DTD as much as I'd like, and I'm not 100% how long my cycle is as I have never tracked it in my life. Turns out that I don't know anything about my body. I like being prepared, so once I decided I wanted one, and we was going to actually try I started buying things. So I hope it happens soon, if I see a good deal that really practical or really bloody cute I can't stop myself. My spare room is now already a nursery, and I haven't even got the BFP. Once I decided it was time to start trying I can't believe how much I want it.

bassetmum · 01/09/2016 09:28

I am hoping I can keep the mentality of "not trying for a baby" just trying not "not to have a baby" if that makes sense. Haha! It is interesting now how little is actually covered about the having the baby process through school. They are so preoccupied with telling everyone how not to have a baby.

I do also have the fear of the unknown as me and my OH said the other day you assume that everything will be okay and it won't take long to have that BFP but you don't actually know if everything is okay, with either of you until you start trying.

MsHopey · 01/09/2016 11:04

Im quite passionate and go all in with everything I do. I say I'm not going to get worked up, I'm not going to look at my ovulation chart, or start planning everything for the next 8 years, but it's just who I am, mental.

bassetmum · 01/09/2016 11:13

That's not mental at all. I am an horrific worrier by nature (I can't cook a meal without asking everyone countless times if it is okay) so I am trying to preempt this process with positive thinking from the start. We will see how long it lasts? I am also hoping my 18.5 week old puppy will be a distraction to stop me fascinating over it. Doubt it though

Eva30 · 01/09/2016 11:25

Wow mrsHopey buying baby stuff! Don't put too much pressure on yourself! How long did you say you'd been TTC? Were you on birth control before that? Sometime it can take a couple of months for that to level itself out too - don't worry!

On another note, I have had positive opks for 3 days now, is this normal?! Really really dark since Tuesday evening. I got my peak on the clear blue fertility monitor yesterday. Have been really good at DTD this month (surprisingly). DTD Cd10,12,14,15 and hopefully tonight cd16. Pleeeease get swimming little onesGrin

MsHopey · 01/09/2016 11:45

I was on the pill but only for 2 months, I had the implant but when it ran out it took ages for them to get it out my arm, lots of pain and 3 different attempts until it came out. I was scared to have another one and left it out, my periids were still present while on the implant, but a bit irregular. We just used condoms for a few months while I decided what to do, went on the pill for 2 months but decided to TTC, I came straight off and had my withdrawal bleed the next day, haven't used any contraception since then. Had a normal period about 3 and a half weeks later. And this is now my first proper cycle but I'm on the 2ww. I know I'm jumping the gun soooo bad. But its just who I am with everything. I know I need to relax but I really struggle to just go with the flow. I've already brought and read loads of fertility and pregnancy books. I'm definitely more comfortable if I'm prepared.

Eva30 · 01/09/2016 12:49

mrshopey good luck in the tww. When is test date?

CinnamonTwist · 01/09/2016 13:11

Definitely super keen mshopey I'm not buying anything in case it jinxes it! I am a massive planner too, but my way of planning and preparing was that I came off the pill a year before we planned to TTC so that my body would be ready and 'settled' for it, but that's partly because I know I had problems with hormones when trying to find a pill/implant/coil that would work for me, so I figured I would have problems coming off it too

bassetmum · 01/09/2016 13:30

Quick question for everyone. Did you start trying as soon as you came off your contraception or not?

MsHopey · 01/09/2016 13:44

10 days till test day, and its already dragging.
I wanted everything to be perfect, we got married, got a house, stable jobs, both learned to drive, both got cars. I just want to make sure we're going to do a good job, and part of that for me is making sure we have everything the baby needs, there's been a lot of sales and baby events recently and I haven't been able to help myself, I just want everything to be ready for when he/she comes. I don't want to be 8 months pregnant, working full time and realise I've forgotten to get something important x

MsHopey · 01/09/2016 13:45

Bassetmum, I did, everyone says it's less likely to happen straight after coming off contraception, but it's worth a try. The only problem is that I don't know my cycle as well as I should x

Original poster
Pyjamas81 · 01/09/2016 14:20

Wow it's been busy in here!! Haven't had a chance to read through everything but great to see some new faces Smile

Spotting started today, so I'm out! Although will keep an eye on it as I'm not usually a spotter and I have no cramps at all.

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