First time TTC - thread 3

[Pyjamas81]

A place for all those trying for their first who didn't know their OPKs from their BBTs, their EWCM from their FRERs and everything in between before discovering Mumsnet!

If you're that glorious mix between excited about getting that elusive BFP and terrified - this is the place for you

What kind of opks are you using mojitos? Could be that the tests missed the surge (can be really really quick) and ov is today?

I am so happy we don't have to dtd tonight! Terrible but true ha ha

Yeah that's what I was thinking maybe pjs they're just one step cheapies. Hopefully that's it and ov today and temp rise tomorrow? Guess just have to wait and see :). Just so confusing! I was looking forward to a break to but might get one in tonight to cover us just in case now!

Basset and Eva - it is insured on our home insurance so should be ok, but still a bit upset about it. I will go to a jewellers today to see if they can repair it easily.

Caved in this morning and did a test - got a BFN and not surprisingly I'm feeling awful about it. I'm Dpo11 - is that too early still? The test said up to 6 days before the missed period and I'm 4 days before so it should have shown up. I hate this ttc. I feel so isolated cuz I can't tell anyone. DH doesn't have a clue why I care so much and why I get so upset over the bfns, and it's shredding my happiness. Not ready to keep doing this month after month after month. I feel like it's never going to happen.

Also been charting my temperature and it has just gone up and up since ov. No jump up and then constant, it's been higher every day. Confused and upset - sorry for the long post xx

Can I join please?
Age 35
TTC 1
Cycle 3 (but trying since April)

Been all over the place with cycles, up to 60 days! It's so frustrating to have BFN and then not even be able to start a new cycle. Have just been diagnosed with pcos and given metformin which is meant to help. Currently in the 2WW, due to test 20th although I'll keep telling myself I'll wait until 21st! I have no willpower so let's say 20th!

Congrats to the BFPs so far and good luck to everyone!

Pyjamas and Eva, I was just reading back a bit and saw you were thinking about fertility tests. Just thought I'd share my experience with you. As my cycles were so long I decided to go and see my GP and she was great. Said she suspected pcos and sent me straight for blood tests. Also had an internal scan - got a bit of a shock as my friend said it was like a pen! It's not it's much bigger! It's really put my mind at rest that things are happening. DH also had to have a sperm test - much easier than a scan, it's so much easier for the men!

I'm 35 and I think my age made things happen quicker. But my sister who was 28 wanted tests (long story) and she got a groupon deal, so worth looking out for if for any reason your doctor can't refer you. Hope this helps!

Welcome Seahawk!

Alice - if you can I would always try to wait until after AF is late before testing - just because it should hopefully reduce your likelihood of the disappointment associated with a BFN. I did far too many tests last month and found that getting a BFN was crushing - absolutely awful - this month I just waited for AF to show up and it wasn't a walk in the park but didn't feel that same heartbreak. That being said I know its hard to restrain from testing but remember that Clearblue exist to make money - and if they can do that by claiming they can detect your pregnancy as early as possible then that will attract loads of desperate women to buy their product - yes I'm horrendously cynical but hopefully not coming across as mean!! Fingers crossed it was just too early for you but try to wait it out

A Groupon deal for fertility testing sounds a bit mental but if it puts your mind at ease it can't be a bad thing? I'm probably just too scared to know this early in the process

Welcome seakhawk! 60 day cycles, oh my word... Join us in the tww madness, I am now convinced I can taste blood in my mouth so the urge to poas is getting stronger and stronger...

Flora I know exactly what you mean, I felt the same about frer - so ended up buying loads of ics instead which sort of defeated the object!

Sorry about the bfn Alice, I don't temp so I'm not sure what yours means but fx you are just testing you early, 11dpo is still early - egg might have only just implanted so not enough time for hcg levels to build up and be picked up by a hpt.

Pmsl moonlight, basset and pjs!! Ttc just makes romance go out the window, it's awful! After I'd jumped DH again during fw he was like 'don't think I don't know why you're doing this'... Does anyone else ever feel after fw like what's the point of dtd now

Sorry about the bfn monkey, fx you're testing too early - when are you going to test again?

difficult, that's a baby bomb and a half, hope you're feeling ok.
*
Eva* how you feeling? You still thinking af is on her way? Really hoping she isn't, fingers and toes all crossed!

Not going to lie MrsC, dtd is almost non-existent after fw! We're both totally not interested!

Thanks for sharing your experience seahawk - I'm 35 as well, so I'd definitely rather know now if something's not right. Glad to hear testing gave you peace of mind

Hi, newbie here, so bear with me and my lack of abbrev knowledge :P

Details:
Age 30
TTC1
Cycle 0

Got married this summer after a long engagement and long time at uni. Having been through the effort of uni, wanted to get settled into a job before starting to TTC, however, my uni degree is a scientific one and it's really hard to get your foot in the door, so had resigned myself to getting temp jobs here and there to get experience until I could get in somewhere perm. Thought there was no point holding off on TTC, if I'd be in and out of jobs anyway. So arranged to get my coil out literally today, but yesterday had a recruitement agent call me up about a realky good perm job. Was going to start TTC next week, as should be ovulating then, but now not sure if I should hold off trying at least a few cycles. But then there's no guarantee I'll get the job AND there's no guarantee of BFP right away, so feeling rather conflicted

Also feeling a bit conflicted as in my group of friends, two ladies have recently announced their pregnancy and some of the others have been really snarky about them. One in particular is a close friend but now dreading the thought of telling her if/when I do get pregnant

Erm - wtf?! I just got the OPK result below?! Am I having a second surge? Is that even possible? Aaaaaarghhhhhh I hate TTC!! Really don't want to dtd tonight!

Welcome Nerdy - if it were me, I'd just crack on considering how long this whole TTC lark can take! But, it's a very personal decision.

Welcome Nerdy I second exactly what pyjama said!

pyjamas it's worth a trip if you start to worry, I just knew I had pcos as I had all the signs and my sister has it too so I thought better get the ball rolling. They won't prescribe me clomid until January so I'm glad I went. Hopefully I won't need it!!
Difficult sorry about the baby bomb, I know how you feel, both my younger sisters already have kids and the youngest had just done the whole Facebook announcement for her second. I'm happy for her but it's hard. I had a text from a family friend yesterday asking me something and saying how are you, I replied and said good thanks, v excited as off on holiday tomorrow for our wedding anniversary oh and sister is pregnant in case you hadn't heard. She replied and said that's lovely news about your sister. I was like er yes, and happy wedding anniversary and have a nice holiday to me seems to be missing! Hopefully you'll get a BFP soon and be pregnant together

alice I agree with the others about early testing, a bfn is so crushing and you can drive yourself mad x

Oh and mrsc are we in the TWW together? When are you due to test. I have promised myself not to spend my holiday symptom spotting! I'm going to test on the 21st probably will cave on the 20th

Been a busy day in here!
seahawk welcome and thank you for sharing your experience. Can't believe groupon even do fertility tests! There are a few people in the tww here to share the ups and downs!

Welcome nerdy - I would just get on with TTC but as the others said, very personal choice. Im confused as to why friends have been snarky about other friends being pg? I know the baby bomb is hard but even after that?

mrsCW you've got so much more willpower than me with not testing haha! When do you think you'll give in? Everything crossed for you. Yeah AF will probably be here tomorrow, temp has gone down for the last 2 days and is now below cover line and I've had pre-AF headaches ugh, wish that bitch would just hurry up. On a positive note, my cycles are pretty regular (photo from FF) so guess I have to be thankful for that!

alice I'm so sorry about bfn and feeling down - you sound like me earlier this week when I got my bfn. However, I read some really lovely news today, someone on the September bus thread who I've followed since I started my TTC journey in April got her BFP today on her 9th cycle! I feel like I know her lol and it's stories like that that keep me going. Some people just take longer than others but it'll be worth the wait.

pjs omg, usually it's the line we want to see but today it's the line of doom if it means having to DTD again! I love that feeling of when you've DTD as much as you can over FW and you know you can have a break for a while! How strange that it went and came back?? Never seen that before

Oops mrsCW this is the photo I forgot to attach.
That was a longer post that I anticipated sorry

Told DH about the line - yeah, it's not happening tonight, we're both done. I'm SO annoyed and confused!

I have spent today lifting boxes etc to move offices. Not sure it is the best TTC activity. Still no idea if I am heading towards AF or bfp. I still feel my tummy if you know what I mean. Wouldn't say it is pain but I know it's there.

Ovia says test on Monday which would be cd35 and 14dpo according to static smiley. I think I might manage until Sunday. Would rather do it at a weekend.

Eva the groupon fertility tests are so random! I was really surprised when my sister told me. She said it was good though, at a place on Harley St

pj don't worry hun, I'm sure you've covered yourself anyway. Sneaky you doing good another test! Sometimes I wonder why we put ourselves through it. One of the girls on the other thread has had 3 surges in the last week or so... Maybe body is trying but not quite ovulating? That's what I worried about me too as I havnt had temp rise yet but I've decided not to opk any more until next month now as just too much pressure. Are you very sure youre not pregnant :D?!

We went out for a meal tonight for family members birthday and dp's auntie sat next to me actually asked me if I'm pregnant again yet. It's been 8 weeks since mc. Seriously. I said "obviously not" while downing the rest of my wine....

Welcome seahawk and nerdy Nice to have mixed experiences of ttc on here :). I'm just about/maybe/who knows in 2ww too!

I'm not suprised groupon do fertility tests but it's sad really, any excuse to make money out of people's worries.

warwick temp rises sound really good so fx for you it's just too early. You don't start making hcg til after implantation and test wouldnt pick up til a few days after that so wait a few more days as could definately just be too early :)

Thank you everyone for your kind messages. I was so determined this month not to test early, and was actually feeling quite relaxed about things. I just feel so angry and anxious that I'm not pregnant yet. I'm 27, happily married, not overweight, practically teetotal, I don't drink much caffeine or medications. There's no reason it should take this long. I hate my body for this, I just hate what it's doing to me. I'm so frightened and anxious that I'll never be pregnant and I can't talk to anyone. I feel like I want to go to the doctor but they'd just blow me off and tell me to calm down, relax, all of that crap and come back once I've pissed away a year a year of my life feeling like this. I need help, I don't know what to do. I'm sorry.

There's definitely a lot of us in the tww. I think I am not that I was expecting it so early. My oh just went "can i watch my film tonight?" Oops didn't quite realise my jumping him was such a thing haha. Oh well. Im guessing I'm past ovulation as my libido has dropped back again

Alice an idea I had when I started trying was a post AF / BFN "treat". Something that you couldn't do if you were pg. like a trip to Thorpe park, swanky dinner with champagne, a weekend away hiking (not a treat for everyone!), spa day where you can go to all the saunas etc. It really helped me to have something to look forward too. I'd always plan it before the test / AF so that if it was a BFP I'd be cancelling it. Hope that helps

Thanks mojitos - had a bit of a sulk and am a bit better now! Was just really annoyed as I thought things may be going back to normal for once and that we had properly dtd throughout FW, then get hit with another annoying curveball! Ah well - no way we're dtd tonight, we're not morning people, so will just have to be tomorrow night! The pg thought crossed my mind as well, but then AF a couple of weeks ago would make no sense! Am just faulty lol. Bit insensitive of your dp's auntie I think!

A planned BFN treat is such a good idea seahawk - we'll be on holiday when I either get a BFP or AF (great), so will have many guilt free cocktails!

Pyjamas same for me, going to test on second last day on holiday, we have one night in Dubai so if it's a BFN we'll have a big night out on the cocktails, could be expensive! When are you due to test? Sorry your body is throwing curveballs, it's so annoying. The 3-4 months before TTC my cycles settled down a bit and then as soon as we started they went haywire again!

Mojitos it sucks when people say hints like that, it makes me so angry. There was a brilliant online article in stylist magazine this month with lots of good responses from celebrities. From now on I'm just going to say no, and it's actually quite rude to ask, yes we just got married but it's no longer the dark ages

Fertility Friend detected ovulation with a solid line for the first line ever today and the timing analyser gave us a high score! Negative OPK today so maybe yesterday was a weird random one! For my own sanity, I'm going to disregard yesterday's result.

Seahawk - am now 3dpo and due to test on 27th Sept which would be 14dpo and half way through our holiday. Anyone testing with me?

Going to dtd tonight just in case (depending on how late we get home), but I'm definitely much happier today

I was originally going to test on the 2nd October if af hadn't arrived but that was working on a 28 day cycle with ovulation this weekend. With all my symptoms suggesting I ovulated at the beginning/middle of this week I am completely unsure when to try testing or just wait till the 2nd anyway if af doesn't rear her ugly head.

Looks good pjs it definitely looks promising.