35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

@Blueberry1 congrats. So pleased for you. Yes things can go wrong but this is as good as it could be at this point in time. Please don't disappear - even tho this is a TTC board I'm sure we'd all love to keep hearing from you in the weeks to come

It's so great to know that a BFP is possible

Xxx

Great news! Really glad it's confirmed. Good to get a bit excited with some reservation, but one massive tick on the list has been completed.
Try to live in the day and not fret about the next step, as hard as that is to do. This is the advice I would be giving myself...

Still feeling good after hearing ur news blueberry! Especially after knowing what you've been through and knowing how hard infertility is...
Pregnancy going well had 20 week scan and touch wood all ok so far. Enjoy this amazing time and spoil yourself you deserve it! In fact all the ladies do (deserve to spoil themselves) while going through infertility. Hoping for the next bfp on this thread soon
Rooting for you all x

I'm still here, ladies!
Blueberry, I was waiting for your news! Congratulations! So excited for you! Keep us posted. I'm still very much following this thread.
Sorry to hear about BFNs but please don't give up. It will happen!
In the meantime my baby girl is 12 weeks today! And here we are....

Hello Mumsnet!

After being a long time lurker and learning so much from you all over the years I have decided to join. Just wanted to say a big congrats to you Blueberry - in fact I only joined so that I could write that as have been following this thread for ages.

As for me I turned 39 this year, soon to be married and TTC first ever baby! So exciting but scary at the same time. I am not sure if my eggs will be any good or if my body can carry a baby but will sure as hell try! We have had two months of no birth control without success so hoping that a more targeted approach will get good results. I am currently on day 3 of AF so will make sure I have an OPK to hand for this next ovulation cycle. Have been tracking my periods and they are normally regular so hoping pregnancy won't be too difficult.

Nice to meet you all.

BFP confirmed by clinic blood test . 1st scan booked for 3 weeks time. In the meantime I feel quite uncomfortable, sort of bloated & tender around the middle (although I don't look bloated) plus sore boobs. While I am very pleased (obviously!!) am also cautious as I know first 12 weeks are crunch time especially at given my "advanced maternal age" .

Hello ladies - I am a stranger on this thread (was part of the TTC#1 thread when I was on the Conception board, and I'm still keeping everything crossed for all the ladies still there) but I have a special interest in wanting to cheer all of you on. I was 37 and tried for 11 cycles to get pregnant - temping, acupuncture, reflexology, the lot - booked up an appointment with the GP to discuss fertility treatment and then got my BFP.

Turned 38 in January. Had my little girl Aug 2nd and am watching her snooze on the breastfeeding pillow right now.

I totally thought my body was broken until that BFP showed. Turns out it wasn't :) good luck to all of you and keep the faith!

Also congrats to you Blueberry! should have said that in my last post :)

blueberry I just saw this thread in active for the 1st time in ages and had a read. I was on this thread near the start and just want to say congratulations and to wish you an uneventful 9 months, I'm so pleased for you. Good luck

@coastalchick I'm so sorry to hear your news and I hope you feel much better soon.

Sadly I have been going through a similar experience after getting a BFP in July. 2 weeks ago (on my birthday, thanks universe!), I started with some spotting and just felt like something wasn't right so I went to my doctors and she booked us in for a scan at the early pregnancy unit. It was just the most awful day and we were told that the baby had stopped developing at 7 weeks and I had miscarried. We have been absolutely devastated. I decided to have the surgical procedure last Tuesday and thankfully that all seems to have gone well.

So now we have to wait another 2 weeks to take a pregnancy test where ironically we will be hoping for a BFN to confirm that all of my previous hormones have gone so that we can start to try again. It is pretty bloomin depressing!

Half of me can't wait to just get trying again and see another BFP but the other half of me is just terrified now in case the same thing happens again.

Big fingers crossed for good news for us all soon, and also massive congratulations to you @Blueberry1 that is fantastic news! Keep positive! :)

Nice story @kavanaghkj thanks for sharing.

Long time no see @icoco, I recall you got your BFP last year, so hope everything went well.

Welcome @BougieQueen. Apparently despite all this "fertility plummets after 35" narrative, 80% of women aged 38 & 39 will conceive within 6 months. Targeted approach is definitely good!

As for me, I now have sore boobs, almost permanent low level nausea and feel tender/bloated round my tummy. And I keep waking up at 5-6am needing the loo & then can't go back to sleep, which is very annoying. Next milestone is 7 week scan two weeks on Friday. crosses fingers

In the meantime, I need to come up with excuses (lies...) about why I'm not going to running club. This week I have a job interview after work (I do actually but it's not the day I go to running club). Haven't thought up next week's excuse yet .

@coastalchick @PhoebeMouse so sorry to hear your news. We all work so hard and hope so long for the elusive BFP. To go through what you have been through is awful and I'm so sorry.

@kavanaughkj thanks so much for coming back to share. It's great to know this can actually work sometimes!

X

And thanks to @Russkispy too. Gorgeous baby!

@phoebemouse - very sorry for your loss & the horrible experience you had . As far as I have read (given higher chance of s-t going wrong at my age, I've been informing myself...), miscarrying once is no guide to future pregnancy, it doesn't even increase the chance if it happening again. I know this may not change how you FEEL right now, but perhaps it can give you hope for the future?

@Janefx40 @Blueberry1 thank you both, and yes you are right I must keep positive and focus on the good chances of everything being well next time and keep hoping we won't have to wait too long! I am far too impatient for all of this!!

@PhoebeMouse so sorry to hear your dreadful news.

I think that actually the statistics are very positive if you've had a miscarriage - they tend not to happen again, and they do show that you can get pregnant. It's a horrid thing to go through, but it's probably not a bad sign.

Fingers crossed for a speedy BFN, followed by something a little more positive. X

Thank you @spargle trying to stay hopeful!

Hi PheobeMouse, so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you're keeping positive. It does seem to be so common at our age. I was completely oblivious to miscarriage until a couple of years ago when it seems like half my friend's pregnancies went that way. All went on to have successful pregnancies after though.

Blueberry have you been banned from running until your first scan, or will it be all pregnancy? My worst nightmare is being told I can't run for a year. I use it for mental health so much.

On my side, my body seems to be behaving okay. This is my first month using CBFM and all seems normal so far. However, our terrible sex life has reared its head, as I thought it might. He's just not up for DTD. It seems we're too far gone down the road of sexlessness and he can't just switch it back on. I thought it was low libido but on further probing there's more to it than that, more a fundamental problem in how we interact. I've tried to get us to go to sex therapy in the past but he always refused, but has now agreed and we're going in a few days. Damn expensive but worth it for the sake of our relationship as well as conception. We've both said we're committed to making it work and wont give up, so that's hopeful at least. I don't know how we got to this point, it's made me sad for a while and him too it seems. But yeah, that's me out this month :(

I have my AMH results but haven't looked at them. They were being emailed but I was away for work so turned my emails off. Now I'm home but have loads to do this week and can't face finding out. I feel like if it's bad news I won't be able to work. I am a coward !

Hi @janefx40, my AMH was only 6.5 pmol/l, which is classed as "low fertility" (satisfactory would be 22-40pmol/l). Remember that it's a measure of ovarian reserve; it doesn't tell you anything about quality. Open the letter; if it's bad news, at least then you will know and can find out what you can do about it.

@79andnotout - hope the therapy goes well. TTC can be stressful even if you have a fairly normal sex life. My DP is Mr Spontaneous and he was often not spontaneous at the right time!! If I didn't make any effort to encourage activities, we could miss fertile window entirely (this happened at least 4x) and if I hinted too much, then he felt under pressure, which was a bit of a turn off .

Hi Jane, my ovarian reserve was low too (8.1pmol/L) and both the fertility doctor and my GP have said it is meaningless in its own right. Fertility doc said I could have had the value since I was 20, it doesn't indicate menopause unless you do a series of them every few months to see if there is a rapid decline. It does mean you will get fewer eggs if you have IVF, but again, that doesn't mean much as they could all be good eggs. It's definitely a case of quality over quantity.

Hi Blueberry, yes you're right. It is stressful, and I think it's stress and feeling inadequate that stops him feeling desire in the first place. Bah it all seems like a never ending uphill struggle at the moment. Last night I dreamt I binned him off and married Colin Farrell instead. He dreamt about tax returns. Says it all :)

@79andnotout @Blueberry1 thanks for the words of encouragement. I will have a look later. It is good to know that, whatever the result, it isn't all doom and gloom (necessarily).

@79andnotout sorry about the DTD issues. My OH and I are I a relatively new relationship but even so the pressure of having to DTD on certain days definitely has an effect. We have quite regular performance issues when I am fertile but not at other times.

If this is a longer term issue for you as a couple then maybe it's good that you've been forced to confront it. It's great news that you are both committed to making it work. Let us know how it goes with the sexpert! Not sure I have much wisdom to share but sending you all the best x

I didn't look at the results. I got back really late and was super stressed and exhausted. We will look tomorrow when we have time to think about it! Thanks for your info on the test tho - it has helped to know your experiences with the test x

Yeah that sounds like a good plan. Opening them together when you have some space to think and breath is a good idea.

OH and I are going to "have a go" at sex tonight, so that we have some material for the therapist tomorrow! I said we need to maximise our financial return out of it and he agreed. I'm hoping it just turns out to be a question of getting back into the swing of things and learning to communicate our needs better. If tonight works out I'm back in the game as I'm pretty sure I'm around peak fertility right now, although may have just gone over.

Good luck, Jane! I hope the results are good, but don't fret if they aren't x

@79andnotout good luck tonight! If he's flailing there's nothing like a blowjob to get them going! (may not be ideal for TTC but hey if you're "down and out" anyway it's worth a try!)