35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

@Janefx40 @spargle - thanks for the kind words today & over last few days as I pontificated my situation; much appreciated. I'm not sure I have PMA more like a dose of realism. But I really did have an open mind & will try to continue in same vein. I can do 2 more FETs from this cycle & then I can if needed do a 2nd cycle.

Good luck to both of you. If you decide to give Mumsnet a rest for a while, don't forget to pop back when (not if!), you get your BFP .

In the meantime, DP proposed taking me for a drink after work & I intend to have 1 large glass of wine (due to low/no alcohol for ages, I probably can't manage more than that!).

How is everyone? I want to hear about BFPs!

I got AF 2 days after last Cyclogest & have follow-up appointment with consultant next week. Am also going to see a fertility accupuncturist this week for initial consultation. Don't know if I will do it, but good to find out more.

We can do another FET next cycle as no medical reason not to and we're both keen to get on with it. Am also looking at whether there are any supplements to take that might help (ones I was taking were for egg quality). Probably wasting my time cos most likely reason FET failed was that embryo was duff .

Good Luck with the next cycle Blueberry, sorry the first one did not work out.

I've been having acupuncture for fertility for about 4 months. Hasn't worked so far but it is quite relaxing! I'm in 2 week wait number 20 approximately, period due Friday. DTD every fertile day which is a first(!) so you never know.

I've been taking aspirin 75mg for 5/6 months apparently some fertility clinics recommend it, reports are a bit variable online but figure it probably won't hurt (my periods are light). 27d cycle at the moment, cd24.

Baby dust x

Fingers crossed @holzsgolightly - surely an increase in on target TTC activity should bear fruit?

We're going to try for another natural cycle FET this next cycle. Although as we're away for a few days next week that might bugger it up as if I ovulate when we're away then that will be before clinic can do 2nd scan. Let's hope not!

@Holzgolightly good luck! I really hope that this is your month!

@Blueberry1 I hope that your ovulation happens at a very suitable time, and doesn't put any kind of downer on your time away.

I don't have much to report. I'm working nights this week, which adds a bit of variety to life. Staying in a hotel, and it's pretty reasonable, so it's shaping up to be a fun week. My FW starts tomorrow, apparently, so it'll be all systems go again. Working with DH, so at least our days will match up!

We've had our two spare months, during which I thought it would probably be better not to conceive now. I think that I might not do well with the increased pressure! Apologies in advance for any posts I make in which I clearly don't quite remember (or understand) what's happening with my body... It's been quite a revelation, just how much I don't know what's going on!

Anyway, good luck to us all!

Hi everyone! Ugh - sorry to heard about your BFN @Blueberry1 - hope the next cycle is a goer. Good luck for tomottow @Holzgolightly

Update from me: got my blood results back and apparently everything is 'normal'. DH is getting a sperm analysis soon (waiting for date to be confirmed), and I have just started acupuncture. Getting my second session today. It's fertile week so still hoping it happens for us while investigations are underway.

Good luck to everyone else at differemt points in their cycle!

Thank-you for the good wishes, I feel fairly pre-menstrual so not holding my breath!

All my blood tests have been normal and it seems like I am ovulating. The next step for us is SA which my partner has agreed to but is dragging his heels... I assume the GP can arrange this? And (daft question alert!) I assume I wouldn't also need to go to this appointment?

I've finished my acupuncture for now, my practitioner has stopped work due to illness which is sad - she was lovely. I would definitely arrange it again if we end up going for IVF. My friend had a few cycles of IVF and the one that worked she had alongside acupuncture - anecdotal evidence I know!

ATB with fertile week @Orangefolly and @Spargle
Hope timings work out for you @Blueberry1
And I hope everyone has a lovely weekend Xx

Sorry to hear about BFN, Blueberry. I was really hoping to pop in and read good news. Wishing you luck for the next attempt.

Hi, Holz, you sound like me; we're in cycle 19 I think. I don't know much about it all but no, you don't have to go to the SA appointment!

Thinking of you guys lots, really feeling sad at the moment which is a shame as we're getting married in 10 days! But can't help it. Going to see my cousin next week who's just had her 3rd, I'm hoping my love for my cousin will see me through meeting the newborn. I need to turn off such negative thoughts as 'if we'd got pregnant in the first 10 months we'd have a newborn too' but so hard sometimes.

Positive wishes to all!

How is everyone doing today? Any BFPs happened without an immediate rush on here to share the news?

@Blueberry1, how's it going with the timings?

@SoozC sorry to hear that you're feeling sad in the run-up to your wedding. My mental health was a bit dodgy around my wedding. It's a bit disappointing not to feel all of the excitement everyone says you're supposed to feel, in my opinion! I'm very much enjoying being married, though. I hope that you perk up, and that the excitement carries you along!

It is hard looking at other people's babies. I am currently very regretful that we didn't start this journey sooner, and I can see that starting it sooner without success feels really crap.

I'm back in the 2ww. I don't have any expectation of success - didn't even manage to get a proper line on the ovulation test (had to squint to see anything, which is a negative), although it was probably, again, that I was testing at the wrong time of the day. I've just started temperature charting this morning, so I should get a clearer picture next month.

DH is now feeling the pressure. We only managed 3 times this FW, 2 of which were technically on the same day. If I did ovulate when I was supposed to, the timing was probably ok.

On the plus side, we've decided to reduce stress in our lives by having a take-away, instead of cooking dinner, every time he returns from working away. This will surely mean he feels more like DTD? Can't possibly fail.

@sooz all the best for your wedding . Too many brides spend most of their wedding worrying about the guests instead of enjoying their day, so try NOT to do that!

@Spargle - consultant told me best time for TTC is 2 days before ovulation plus day itself, so if you managed that, that's good going . My DP is a Mr let's be Spontaneous, so getting him to be spontaneous at the right time, was often stressful. You could try using clearblue dual hormone indicator OPKs as they give you a wider fertile window (4 or more days), so perhaps less stressful? I found them highly reliable, although they are a bit more expensive (£20 for 10 tests)

@Holzgolightly @orangefolly good luck with all tests. I had to drag my DP to SA as he was convinced that because he fathered a child 20 (!) years ago it wasn't necessary.

As for me, despite cycle being buggered up by Cyclogest, I was on the way to ovulating by CD9 as per scan, which was good as I then went on holiday for 6 days and wouldn't have been able to do 2nd scan until I was back, which might have been too late. I ovulated last Thursday (CD13) and embryo transfer is this afternoon. Only changes from last time is acupuncture (evidence inconclusive) and embryo glue (good evidence for aiding implantation).

I am again trying to keep an open mind, so neither being convinced it will work or that it won't. Ultimately, it's down to embryo quality, so let's hope this one is a good one!

Hi everyone, this looks like my kind of board, so mind if I join in?

TTC#1
Age 38
Cycle 0

After three years of discussions I've finally persuaded my other half to TTC, and it has taken perimenopausal symptoms to make him realise I don't have years left and he does actually want a child! We did some blood tests last week and my AMH is pretty low but not impossibly so at 8 pmol/L. We have NEVER had unprotected sex (he was determined we had no accidents). Waiting on his SA results, but fingers crossed they're good as we'll need it for our last chance mission. Early menopause runs in my family (pre-40) so we're going to have to have a lot of luck on our side. Unfortunately OH has a really low sex drive so it will be interesting to see how that pans out anyway.

Given the circumstances I'm being quite pragmatic about it all. If it happens it happens, if not I will get more pets :) I'd pretty much resigned myself to a life of no kids by now anyway.

Looking forward to getting to know you all virtually.

Welcome @79andnotout and all the best for your TTC endeavours. Good move to get yourself & partner checked out; better find out sooner than later if there are any problems.

Update from me: frozen embryo no 2 was transferred this afternoon. Consultant & embryologist were enthusiastic about quality of embryo (5 day hatching blastocyst), but they were similarly enthusiastic last time and that ended in BFN .

Only difference this time is acupuncture for which there is some evidence it can improve outcomes (allegedly by improving blood flow to uterus & minimising cramps). I thought, well it won't harm me, so why not? Official test date at clinic is Friday 1st September. Now back to using yucky Cyclogest pessaries twice a day .

Good luck blueberry! Enthusiastic twice in a row sounds good, I doubt they'd be enthusiastic for no reason so fingers crossed luck shines on you this time...

Still no SA results here. Do they take longer does anyone know? Follow up appointment so I guess we'll find out then anyway. I don't like knowing only half of the story.

Does anybody know the best tests for working out the quality of your eggs (not quantity)? Ultrasound?

@79andnotout will you be temperature charting? I've come to the conclusion that it is probably the way forward. I started halfway through this month, though (couldn't work out how the thermometer worked!), and my results are a bit confusing... Next month, I'll get a whole month of data, and it should make more sense.

Someone on here said that it took about a week or so for the SA results to come through, I think.

@Blueberry1, good luck! I hope that the acupuncture does the trick!

Hi Spargle! I'm trying to temp but pretty rubbish at it. Keep forgetting and/or getting up to let the dog out etc. My new cycle is due to start any day now so will try. Definitely cheaper than paying for more tests anyway! Hopefully we both get some info that makes sense this time!

I had a dream last night that the doctors gave my boyfriend a full book describing his semen, like a manual or something. I was disgusted with them that they only gave me a number! A manual would be wasted on him, he'd never read it.

@79andnotout - unfortunately, there is no way to assess egg quality without retrieving some eggs . Tests like AMH & AFC only inform about ovarian reserve i.e. quantity. When I did IVF egg retrieval, clinic estimated likely quantity, (3-8), but wouldn't (couldn't?) say anything about quality.

As it happens, we got 7 mature eggs, all (!) fertilised and 3 became 5 day blastocysts good enough to freeze (not all are). To have 3x5 day blastocysts good enough to freeze from only 7 eggs is good going and embryologist actually said it was better than they'd normally expect given my age.

@79andnotout I seem to recall that it took around a week to get DP's SA results back (not a book don't worry, just 1 page with some numbers ), but this was a private clinic not the NHS. They then invited both of us back for a consultation.

@spargle - for BBT, you need to take temperature at same time each day, ideally when you wake up and before you've drunk anything or gone to the loo. I was charting for a while and it was always a bit erratic, but did correspond to a normal cycle.

I'm feeling fine. I'm pretty sure I'm getting less cramping than last time. Could that be the acupuncture? I'm going to try and be very calm & not symptom spot incessantly this time, because most of the symptoms will be due to Cyclogest and you can be pregnant & get virtually no symptoms. Wish me luck/serenity!!

Thanks Blueberry. Ok going to try and do the BBT at the same time each day. Our tests were private, we meet with the consultant soon so will know then. I guess time will tell about egg quality then. We're both healthy these days although I have had some issues in the past with hyperthyroidism, but my blood tests have been normal for a few years now.

Those sound like good eggs! Nice work!

What do you guys do to get through the two week wait? I think I might take up knitting. It'll stop me googling symptoms at least...

Oh, the BBT thing is going well as far as the accuracy of the recorded temperatures is concerned, I would say - I keep getting results within 0.02 degrees of each other for runs of days. (I keep waking up in the night to record it, so anxious am I not to miss the window, and it's also almost always been the same, within 0.02 degrees, at 3.00 as at 6.30. I've got a new policy now of not doing it before it is light enough to see.) I do take my temperature before doing anything at all, and also try not to reach too hard for the thermometer, or to turn on the light too enthusiastically (we have very good curtains).

It's just that my temperature has risen very late in my cycle. If I'd been charting earlier, I could have seen if it had also risen at the appropriate time. Either I've ovulated late, or I've got a triphasic thing going on. The former is worrisome (although we did dtd on the day, which isn't nothing; but he was away for the week before that...); the latter would be very encouraging. I expect I'll know either within a week, or within a month, what probably happened...

Well OH's SA came back perfect, so that's a relief. At least one half of the puzzle seems to be working. Now we just have to wait for AF to arrive and I can start trying to figure out some pattern to my cycle, and go for it. It's very late this month (and we haven't DTD so deffo not pregnant) so likely the very act of thinking about my cycle has screwed it up more. Hooray.

Hopefully with some more data your temp charts will make more sense, Spargle.

Hey guys - have been gone a few weeks and just wanted to say hi!

@Blueberry1 fingers x for this cycle. You have such a great attitude. Really hope it works.

I'm CD 23 with migraine due tomorrow if it's not worked. I can already feel headache in the background so not too hopefully.

Hello @79andnotout glad the SA went well. Reassuring to eliminate a potential issue.

Sometimes it feels like we have to be detectives - searching for clues - and once we find the answer we will get our BFP! It's exhausting...

Xxx

Hi @79andnotout - I highly recommend the clearblue dual indicator OPKs; they identify 4 or more fertile days. They are a bit expensive, so perhaps just use them for a few months to accurately track your cycle (well at least the ovulation bit).

@janefx40 - hope you haven't got a migraine today ! Am not sure I have a great attitude so much as a realistic one The worst has already happened; I'm 42 and childless (we started TTC when I was 40.5); IVF can't make that any worse and there's around a 25% chance it can make it better . Also, I had my big meltdown earlier on this year when DP (after months of fruitless discussions) said he didn't want to try IVF.

I read a useful timeline guide to FET, which explained that pregnancy is unlikely to be detected until 9 days after a 5 day transfer (next Thursday), so no point to worry/do anything before then. Just have to continue pessaries, conception vitamins, avoid alcohol & soft cheese, do no sport (it's killing me to only "walk briskly" ) and limit caffeine. Oh how exciting my life is!

Bring on next Thursday!

I'm afraid I do have a headache. Not bad yet but definitely there. Have been trying to convince myself it may not mean anything but realistically I am out. Have started a thread on migraines to find out more about other people's but I didn't give it a very catchy title so not sure anyone will respond!

Trying not to be a misery but another cycle another disappointment. This is exhausting!

Hi Jane, that's crap. I've never experienced menstrual migraines. My usual pre menstrual symptoms are really sore boobs for a week and then constipation. I've had the sore boobs this month but no period, it's about a week late now (and we've not had sex so unless I'm the Virgin Mary in an unlikely reincarnation I'm not pregnant). Bit annoying as I bought those clear blue fertility monitor, blueberry, and wanted to crack on using it, and I've never missed a period before this.

Blueberry I've had three years of having to have non emotional discussions with my OH to get to the bottom of why he didn't want to have kids (and it wasn't that he just didn't want them), pushing, then dropping it for a few months, then pushing again. Now I'm at the stage where I'm trying to ease his guilt that he may have held us up too long and it might be too late. Which is not an issue, I don't blame him at all his feelings were valid and he needed time to adjust to the idea. But it's damn frustrating sometimes when your other half announces he's not on the same page! Mine says IVF is my decision if it comes to it as it's my body, and he'll try to support whatever way it goes.

I hope you're all managing to enjoy the bank holiday despite all angst. It's sunny in the north so I'm going to make the best of it.

Thanks @79andnotout I "celebrated" by drinking two glasses of wine (which is quite a feat with a headache). I actually managed to prevent the full blown migraine arriving by eating at the right time and taking pills.

I'm wondering if I actually have a short luteal phase as even tho my periods start exactly 15 days after ovulation, my migraine is 11 days after Ov which must be when my hormone levels crash down. Most people get migraines the day before their period. Ah menstrual detective work - nothing more obsessing and frustrating!

I've decided to let myself take a test this month even tho I know I'm not pregnant. Sounds weird but it's getting depressing never getting to do a test. So unless there is blood I will do one 14 days post ov.

@79andnotout sorry about having to persuade the OH - it's not easy - and about the bloody absent period!!! Where has she gone?! I wouldn't worry about it too much tho as we all have one that disappears once in a blue moon. I had a 56 day cycle last year - just one of those things.

Chin up ladies. Onwards (with the spirit) and upwards (with the OH !!!) xxx