35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

@Blueberry1 I read last night that the blastocyst normally sits in the uterus for 3 days before it implants, so that would make it about now. Possibly not yesterday? (I have no authority, though! Don't know if it's different for IVF.)

The job sounds excellent. It does feel as though getting it might push things along... Well done for still being calm about the whole thing!

I am totally keeping my fingers crossed for you.

@PhoebeMouse congratulations! How exciting! Your words are inviting me to be hopeful, too.

I don't normally notice that I get sore boobs linked to any particular point in my cycle. They've settled down now, which means I've stopped saying "ow!" every time I bend down - they feel almost entirely normal. It's fine. What is, is, and what will be, will be. Less sore boobs is making my day easier!

@PhoebeMouse congrats. I'm so happy for you. I'm a bit over-emotional at the mo and it actually made me well up!

@Spargle @Blueberry1 fingers crossed we can get the hattrick!

@Janefx40 @spargle Thank you! Keeping fingers crossed for you!

Fab news @PhoebeMouse . Now get down to the GP & get scans & whatnot booked!

*@Spargle - it's not over til it's over fingers crossed *. At least you're feeling a bit more comfortable.

@Spargle - I read up & blastocysts implant 1-5 days after transfer (if they implant at all). To implant they need to hatch and our little speck was starting to hatch on transfer day (think that's why clinic did transfer on DPO 4 not 5).

I am still calm, I think because after 1 year of failing to conceive naturally, I simply can't believe we'll get BFP til we do . Then on other hand, IVF thus far went very well, so maybe I'll be one of the 20% of 40+ women for whom IVF is successful? I may end up less calm early next week if it looks like AF is coming or (even worse) AF arrives. I keep telling myself to keep an open mind & not worry too much!

Feeling quite low this morning. Just struggling to believe I'll be able to get pregnant - if I'm honest I just can't envisage my body being able to do all of that. Plus we messed up DTD this month. Hardest bit for me is CD24/25 when I am due my menstrual migraine because then I will know I am out and will start trying to ignore the obvious symptoms of AF and drive myself nuts. CD22 now so am just dreading this weekend. Sorry to be a downer. I really believe you can all do it but somehow I struggle to believe I can!

@Janefx40 sending you virtual hugs. I am with you on the whole "not believing it can happen" thing - I get it (although I think I have about 3 months less experience of not conceiving than you - but it just doesn't seem likely!).

You are well within the time during which you shouldn't give up hope! Statistically, I think that your chances of conceiving are still very good. But it is a long slog, with 50% of the time spent in active uncertainty, and that can be very wearing.

You are doing very well. Keep going. You probably will get pregnant.

I hope that you are feeling better soon.

@Janefx40 - sending you . I know how it feels. I got a bit depressed at the beginning of this year because it was coming up to 1 year of TTC without a whiff of BFP & DP was saying he didn't want to try IVF. Look up all the things you can do to optimise your chances of getting BFP; that way you'll feel you're taking control.

This includes supplements; I took royal jelly, maca & coenzyme Q10. Consultant was aware I was doing that and was fine with it although he said evidence is patchy. Cq10 is supposed to improve egg quality, which is main reason for older women failing to conceive or miscarrying. My AMH (hormone to measure ovarian reserve) & AFC (antral follicle count - how many egg producing follicles you have left) were "low fertility" (although above average for 40). At IVF egg retrieval, I got 7 mature eggs, all of which fertilised & 3 got to 5 day blastocyst stage; the embryologists said this was very good for my age. Now it may be that my egg quality was good anyway, (there's no way to test for quality), but it could have been the supplements. They won't harm you anyway!

If you're not already tracking your cycle using an app, then maybe stary doing that and if you're not doing so already & I would recommend using the clearblue OPKs that identify 5 fertile days per month. They cost a bit more, but they're accurate.

I woke up with stomach cramps this morning & feeling generally a bit rough. This could be implantation or the going out of date salad I ate last night (I threw half of of it away).

Thanks everyone. It's good to get the support. @Blueberry1 I will check out those supplements. Cq10 sounds interesting. I track my cycle with CB - I actually wanted to stop tracking now that we know when I ovulate and just do the regular sex thing but OH wants the info - it's probably sensible.

@Blueberry1 Fingers crossed for the out of date salad (go away cramps - unless they are implantation!)

Not sure why that came out in bold (looks like I am shouting!)

@Blueberry1 hope that the cramps have subsided. I understand that they are normal in early pregnancy... (Fingers so firmly crossed for you!)

I've been having cramps, too, which has made me uneasy. I woke up at 6.37 feeling sick, too, which I don't usually do. My boobs (particularly the left one?!) seem to have spent the day growing. I have been waiting for this for 26 years now, so even if I'm not pregnant I have achieved a very important result! (My bra is normally an acceptable fit. Now it is nicely snug.)

I am going to feel very stupid when I get a BFN. But I will cherish these boobs, and find consolation therein.

Catching up. Eek - exciting @blueberry1 I am hoping the salad is nothing to do with it!

@janefx40 sorry you're feeling low. It's such a hard journey isn't it!

@spargle fingers crossed!

So I had my first GP appointment yesterday about not yet coceiving. I was super nervous but she was really nice. She has ordered a full blood work up for me to start with to see if there are any issues and a sperm analysis for DH. She also told me to throw away my OPKs (!) because she reckons they add stress which doesn't help. Also said sex every 3-4 days from CD9/10 is enough so try not to stress about timing. I feel better having done something, so even if/when AF shows up this month at least I will have the blood test to do shortly afterwards and feel like it is progress.

Got my fingers crossed for you Blueberry - sounds so exciting! And Spargle, I can only hope your symptoms result in a BFP! Congratulations, Phoebe, what lovely news.

@Spargle - Hope cramps & tender (growing?) boobs are imminent BFP. Hate that during two week wait it can be difficult to distinguish between possible BFP & AF symptoms .

@Orangefolly - always good to get yourself & OH checked out. If there are any problems, better find out asap so you can take necessary action. Fertility consultant said TTC every 2-3 days (he said every other day would be ideal, but possibly not realistic ) from AF ending to when you're sure you've ovulated. Basically more often = better!

I am now CD26, DPO8 & 4 days past 5day ET. Have honestly no idea what's going on. Crunch time next week as AF due Tuesday. OTD at clinic is Friday morning. Until then trying to keep OPEN MIND & neither hope too much or be overly pessimistic. DP warns about being too hopeful then being disappointed.

@Blueberry1 I think they are probably not AF symptoms (not due until Wednesday, and I don't think I've ever had a cycle shorter than 25 days, which is my current cycle length), but they could well just be "Spargle is alive" symptoms. I will be both very surprised and not at all surprised whatever the result.

I'm a bit sceptical about not being optimistic. If you aren't pregnant it will feel basically as bad whether you became hopeful or not. If you do become hopeful, at least you get that hope for a while. It's not a fault to be optimistic about something which ends up not happening. I'm really enjoying this "maybe" feeling I have now, and would feel the same amount of bad when AF arrives whether or not I felt like this now.

I'm not telling you what to feel, but I am giving you permission to feel optimistic if you'd like to try it. I can definitely understand your reasoning, and can see that yours is a good tactic.

How are you feeling now?

@orangefolly that sounds like a good result. It must be such a relief to have things in motion. Fingers crossed that it's one of those annoying coincidence things and that you have to cancel the appointment due to pregnancy.

@Spargle - very surprised & not at all surprised is how I will feel about BFP (former) & BFN (latter). Very well put! Still crossing my fingers for you .

I remain neither optimistic nor pessimistic. I felt a bit rough again this morning as if I drank a few glasses of wine last night, but of course I didn't. It appears that cyclogest (progesterone pessaries) can lengthen luteal phase, so if AF doesn't come by Weds, it might not mean BFP. Also some women do get AF when expected despite Cyclogest . So probably I should just wait til clinic blood test next Friday. That's nearly a week away grr

Oh it's so tough. Fingers crossed for you both.

My menstrual migraine has arrived on time so this is not my month. But let's hope it is yours xxx

@Janefx40 so sorry to hear that your menstrual migraine has arrived. It's horrid when disappointment comes alongside pain.

@Blueberry1 that does sound hopeful. I hope that you're not feeling too rough - just enough to feel hopeful?

@spargle - feeling even rougher this morning (nausea, slightly light headed, some cramps) & I have a temperature (37.05). Am assuming this is side effects of Cyclogest. Am CD28, DPO10 (luteal phase 11-12), 7 days past 5DT. Have honestly no clue whether am pregnant or not , but would like to feel less rough!

@janefx40 sorry it's not your month; at least you can drink now.

@Blueberry1 sorry you're feeling so rough. I've done some reading and it came home to me that the drugs you're taking would give you a BFP on a pregnancy test, and it would be meaningless. I hadn't properly appreciated that. That's even more limbo than I initially realised. Ugh.

I'm feeling rough today, but in a crampy way, with that oxygen-deprived feeling my legs and lower back get when AF arrives. I've misinterpreted my Clue cycle length indications (my head is clearly on a different planet), and it could be due tomorrow. I do have nausea to go with the cramps, so that's nice. Just waiting for the spotting to start now. Fingers crossed I'm wrong!

@Blueberry1 sorry you're feeling so rough. How long do you have to take this cyclogest for? Hopefully you can spend the day curled up on the sofa. Roll on Friday? We are all rooting for this little bean to stick.

@Spargle sorry you've signs of AF. Rooting for you to be wrong.

Am trying hard not to be in denial. I'm pretty amazing at being in denial until the red blood arrives but I even have spotting now.

On the plus side, I wouldn't have got mat pay if I'd got preggers last month. So next month is definitely more financially viable!

@Spargle - sorry you're getting AF-is-coming symptoms that make you feel crap.

We did natural cycle FET, so I haven't taken any medication other than progesterone, which wouldn't affect a pregnancy test. Medicated FET cycles (which are more common) use meds that can affect testing so you're not wrong!

@janefx40 - I'm in a fixed term role where the perm postholder will come back & am thus applying for new roles, so maternity pay wise I'm not going to get the best deal. Am hoping to find a much better paid new role so then I can just save lots to sub myself on £140/week statutory maternity pay. You can't time these things perfectly...

@JaneFx40 - I've been taking Cyclogest since ET day (last Monday). If I get BFP later this week, I carry on until 12 weeks (mid September) but if BFN, I stop taking it.

CD29, DPO11. Not feeling as rough today as I did at the weekend. Although still felt a bit nauseous when I got up. AF due tomorrow or Weds; doesn't feel like it's coming, but sometimes sneaks up on me without usual signs . Am just waiting & keeping open mind.

I'm leaving this job later this year, so it's not going to be possible for me to get any more than statutory maternity pay. I'll be working with my husband, though, so at least my boss will be flexible...

AF is still staying away. The general amount of nausea is increasing gradually, but right now I feel fine, thank goodness! I hope it stays this way through lunch. I'm quite tired, though, as I keep waking up way too early and not getting back to sleep. Every time I tried this morning, I had dreams involving motion, which woke me right up due to queasiness. No more AF-type pains since yesterday morning, which is a massive relief. AF should arrive by the end of Wednesday, if it's coming. I'm 12DPO, so managing the extra two days would say promising things about my fertility.

@Blueberry1 I am still keeping my fingers firmly crossed for you. Your nausea amount sounds promising, including the fact that it's easier to work while not feeling sick.

@Janefx40 how are you doing? I hope that you're ok.

Hi @Spargle I'm ok thanks for asking. Have accepted my fat now this month so feeling a little better. Period super close now and it's threatening to be early which isn't good. I'm away this month just before my fertile week so if period starts early we are going to miss the first couple of days. Plus it would be an unusually short luteal phase for me. But there's no much I can do.

OH also discussed when we should seek help from a fertility clinic. We've not been trying 6 months but I am 40 - in some ways I would like the help - to be supported through the process.

Fingers crossed your AF stays away. Sorry you are feeling rubbish tho. Obv we hope it means you will get a BFP but don't want you to have a sickly pregnancy either!

This is a big week for our little group. Rooting for both of you x

My "fate" not my "fat" !