35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

Hi @phoebemouse it's so hard not to feel down when you hear these random snippets of info or fact - they're worse than baby bombs for me - I've freaked out so many times when someone has shared a scary fact (usually about age and conception) so I try to ignore them all now.

I don't know the rules on free IVF for your age in your area although my friend just had a free cycle at age 39! Besides - you've not had your test results yet - you may not need it anyway.

I've had a rubbish TTC month but I really believe that we can all do it. We're fed so much crap by the media or other people who may, or may not, mean well. But women have babies in their late 30s and 40s all the time. And we're going to do everything in our power to make sure that it happens for us

(Sorry - feeling a bit Erin Brokovitch about it all today!)

Thanks @Janefx40 I definitely needed that burst of positivity today to remind me to not listen to these things! I think staying positive and not letting things cause too much stress is so important too.

From my quick bit of research I do think I would be offered a free cycle up to either 39 or 42 so that is a relief.

Just need to keep taking each month at a time and staying positive! I hope next month will be much better for you!

@soozc that is a difficult dilemma. As you said it can take time to adopt although I think it's almost impossible to get a baby from birth anyway - my friends adopted 2 kids who were given up at birth but they didn't get them until they were nearly 1. There was a process to go through with the birth parents first - so you may have at least one more year than you think - obv don't take my word for it but that's how it was for them x

Thanks Jane. I know we have a little while but it could take a couple of years and we'd really like a family soon. While a baby would be nice I am open to adopting a child or siblings up to 5 years old roughly. It is the fact we've been trying 18 months that makes us keen to do things quickly.

@SoozC I know two different couples who adopted three at once! It's special to be able to give siblings a loving home and I find it very moving to think of the difficult situations those children might have grown up in compared to the lives they are hopefully going to have now. Keep us posted on what you decide and how it goes.

Please hold on to hope ladies. I am 38 (39 in sept) and we have conceived first time starting just over 2 weeks ago. I know I am v lucky and won't settle until first scan is ok but I thought I would have trouble. But am proof that you can still conceive in your late 30's. Wishing you all loads and loads of luck and sprinkling baby dust xxx

@coastalchick wow that's fantastic news, congratulations! I will keep positive that it'll be us soon too!

Congrats @coastalchick it's so nice to hear some good news. Really excited for you and great to know it can happen!

Hi ladies- can I join please?
Age 37
Just had mc- will be trying again

Hi @batmans welcome. Sorry about the MC. Wishing you good things for this and future cycles x

@costalchick congratulations! Good luck - hope the scan goes well.

@batmans welcome. So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I have my fingers crossed for you for next time.

I'm in the 2ww now. It's easier than last time! Last time, I developed a load of potential pregnancy symptoms, and they didn't really go away (I've been to see the doctor about them), so now all of the symptoms I feel get explained as "I'd be feeling like this whatever". It's easier for me to be patient. It would be a lot more fun not to feel so rough, though!

@coastalchick - congrats to you & OH.

Welcome @Batmans. Sorry for your loss.

@Sooz - why not start looking into IVF & investigating adoption in parallel? Friends adopted their 2nd child and despite being stable married couple in their late 30s with good jobs and already parents to 1 well brought up child, the process was quite time consuming.

I am going for embryo transfer this afternoon . I'm not really stressed because short of doing anything stupid (skydiving? taking drugs?), the outcome is already decided (embryo is good enough or isn't). I'm genuinely open minded about what will happen; I'm neither over-optimistic or overly pessimistic. Che sera sera

Naturally, I've given up alcohol completely and cut caffeine down to 1 decaf tea per day, am now avoiding food you're not supposed to eat when pregnant like soft cheeses. I also stopped using my prescription acne cream last week (although there's no evidence it's harmful in pregnancy). I'll be taking progesterone pessaries and will check with Consultant about exercise (yoga, steady runs & cycling). Might knock the cycling to work on the head for a few days just in case I fall off my bike (I never do, but you never know...).

Welcome @batmans and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

I had my blood tests booked for this morning, the 1-3 day of your cycle test, but had to cancel because no AF yet - although that's not too weird and it does sort of feel like it is on the way. I've got it booked again for Wednesday.

@spargle I am exactly the same! I seem to be getting different symptoms with every 2WW - this time I've had sore boobs every morning the whole 2 weeks and built up my hopes about that and even ended up taking a test last Thursday but it was a BFN and then I just made myself feel worse and started trying to convince myself that maybe i just took it too early! But my womb is feeling very AF-y this morning!

@Blueberry1 good luck for today. Hope it all goes well. Great that you are eating healthy and preparing your body.

@PhoebeMouse let's hope AF either arrives soon or stays away for a very good reason...it's great that you are staying so calm this 2WW

X

@PhoebeMouse - pharmacist advised me not to test until 14 days after ovulation as even if you're pregnant, hormone (HcG) levels might be too low to be detected. So early BFN can become later BFP cross fingers

Clinic just called to say embryo defrosted (?) fine, so still two others left .

@Blueberry1 good luck! It is out of your control, and it is good to know that. It sounds like you are doing all the right things (possibly being a bit over-cautious, but that will feel a lot better in retrospect, whatever happens. I am completely down with your extra caution!). Have a nice relaxing evening, with a celebratory bottle of nice fizzy fruit juice, or something. Just to celebrate that you have taken this step, whatever happens next. (Or don't. But you deserve a good evening of feeling pleased that you have been proactive.) Fingers crossed it's one of the last evenings of feeling completely well for a while. (For the record, I wish you a tiny bit of nausea which comes along every day, but doesn't make you feel particularly bad - it's just reassuring. I don't want you to have more than that. And I am fully aware that I am being quite strange right now.)

@PhoebeMouse ugh. Not a fun day. I echo the wishes that AF comes quickly or stays far away. The feeling of AF coming, of course, could be a pregnancy symptom. I think this is designed to mess with our heads.

Embryo is IN . Procedure was really like having a smear test. Now progesterone pessaries twice a day until blood test a week on Friday (4 August). crossing my fingers for BFP

Embryologist was rather enthusiastic about quality of embryo, saying it had thawed perfectly & was already hatching (essential for implantation). I even got a photo, so I can show DP who was asking "does it look like a little person?" (the answer BTW is no it looks like a bunch of cells!).

Consultant said better knock running, cycling & yoga on the head for 2 weeks (boo!), but brisk walking was fine. Just bought groovy new running shoes in the sales (ha!), so can perhaps I can break them in walking to work (less than 3 miles)?

@spargle, @phoebemouse - I swear PMS symptoms & AF were pretty routine before we started TTC upon which they started misbehaving all the time!

@Blueberry1 Brilliant, how exciting! Keeping everything crossed for you!

@Spargle @Blueberry1 haha i know it is a nightmare! I was on the pill constantly from age 19 until last September so I don't even remember what my PMS symptoms used to be, i don't think I had enough time to get used to them! I'm sure they weren't like this though, just very painful in my teens!

@Blueberry1 congrats! So excited for you - well done to the little frozen embryo! Maybe you can do something else instead of running and yoga? I've been doing this headspace app which is mindfulness - it's relaxing and feels positive.

Thanks for all your kind wishes It feels a bit surreal or is that unreal? It took time to get to IVF (for me to get DP on board mainly...) and the two weeks of injections then egg retrieval were quite full on, but doing natural cycle FET is so low key it doesn't feel like a big deal. I can't quite believe it's done now. Stick little embryo stick!

@Janefx40 - I did a mindfulness course and meant to keep it up but didn't. Will look up that app! Am seriously thinking of walking to work. It takes 25 minutes to run in, so should only take 50 minutes to walk. I could walk in and get the bus back and I'd even save some money .

good luck blueberry! sounds promising and have everything crossed for you xxx

Well, putting on my bra this morning was an adventure in discomfort. Things still don't feel quite right. It's probably just that this is a bra which hurts me when the straps get too long, but it didn't hurt me yesterday, and I wouldn't normally expect any of my bras to hurt as I put them on.

I'm supposed to test a week today. The time is going so slowly! And I was doing so well with explaining away all possible symptoms...

@Spargle, it's so hard not to symptom spot isn't it? Two week waits are torturous! Do you usually get tender/sore boobs before AF? If not, then maybe it's a sign of impending BFP. Don't test early as you could get false negative that would make you feel sad.

I'm now CD24, DPO6, 2 days post ET. Don't have any symptoms that can't be explained by progesterone except some tiny cramp like twinges last night, which I probably imagined . AF due next Tuesday (CD30), so absence will be 1st sign IVF might have worked. Still open minded. Might not be by early next week if it feels like AF is coming...

Just applied for an amazing job for which I think I have a good chance of being shortlisted. So probably I'll be offered the job and get BFP

I never had sore boobs before AF before and have had them every morning the last 2 weeks. After getting a BFN when I tested early last week, the boob situation got more and more and yesterday AF was technically a day late so I took a test as soon as I got home and it was a BFP! It still seems totally unreal. It wasn't at all like I imagined it, the control line came up really bright instantly and nothing else did so I thought it was another negative but then slowly a feint line appeared and me and DP were both puzzling over it, not being quite sure! So we ran out and got a fancy digital Clear Blue one and sure enough it said pregnant, 2-3 weeks!

And now I don't know if this is all in my head but last night the cramping and boob ache was more than ever and I hardly slept! Anyway massive fingers crossed @spargle that this is exactly what is happening for you too.

I am so nervous now and basically just onto the next stage of worrying! But trying to take everything a day at a time. Lots of luck to you @Blueberry1 with both a BFP and the dream job!