35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

Nothing new to report here; just coming up to ovulation so we will try but I feel it's not going to happen naturally. At least not at the moment - moving, getting married and starting new job all within the next two months so, even though I wouldn't say I'm stressed, my body might disagree! I've had two weird periods and faint cramping constantly since the last one.

@Spargle oh that's a good idea! Let us know how you get on with them and if you would recommend them.

I think I am at just after my ovulation time, and keep feeling weird cramps down there and my imagination is running wild! But a couple of months ago I had this for the whole TWW and AF still arrived so I have to keep my imagination in check! If only we didn't have to wait - when are they going to invent pregnancy tests that you can do instantly/every day?

@phoebemouse - if only they could!!!!!

Imagine if they did, though. You'd get the first stage of conception a lot more than the number of viable pregnancies by the time af was late. At least this way nobody gets tortured by the near-misses.

(I'd totally be up for that test, by the way. Don't mistake my appearance of being sensible for an actual stand on an issue!)

Hi guys,

Can I join? I'm 40 and TTC#1. This is our 4th cycle. Have driven myself nuts with previous cycles and trying to be more zen but not sure it'll work...but worried OH will change his mind if I don't dial down the crazy (oh I have really the plot a few times)

Hi @janefx40 - oh I can definitely relate on the crazy! I seem to be varying a lot now between calm (think it is never going to happen so not having my hopes up) and manic. But I think it's quite normal. I had no idea it is normal for it not to happen straight away until we started TTC.

@phoebemouse you can also get cheap opks on amazon which work fine. Testing can become a bit of a pain in its own right though, sometimes I wonder why I started!

@blueberry1 thanks for the tip - it was really useful to read back over what @miraflores documented with going to the doctor. I am booked in for the 27th now. Eek.

@orangefolly haha yes I might not bother with them - we've just been to the doctors this morning to ask for some more tests and she recommended that we don't try to time things according to when we think I'm ovulating and just to keep DTD 2 or 3 times a week. We are just going to keep doing this as it cuts out the extra stress.

I've got more blood tests booked in now to check various different hormones and my partner has to go to the fertility clinic to get his test done! and then once we've got those results she said she would book us in for further tests, but did say that 80% of couples get pregnant within a year and a further 10% in the next year and that chances were everything would be fine naturally, but given my age we can get moving on more tests.

@janefx40 welcome! and don't worry, I am constantly trying to make myself more zen too! It doesn't help with these blood tests and having to time them to specific days of your cycle - with the next one I am having it has to be on day 1-3 so I just know this will be one of those months when AF decides to come at a weird time!!

Welcome @Janefx40 - we started TTC when I was 40.5 and I was relaxed initially, but got more manic later (think we all do). If you get to 6 cycles and nothing has happened, then better go to the GP for tests (you and OH). As I have found out, fertility over 40 is highly variable, so it's good to find out sooner rather than later where you stand.

@phoebemouse - fertility consultant recommended this too as being less stressful. Basically try to DTD every 2-3 days from AF finishing until after you know you've ovulated.

Am now back on OPK sticks to track my cycle so we can move to embryo transfer. I have an appointment tomorrow, but don't think clinic will let us transfer on 1st cycle after egg collection. If cycle continues as normal, then best transfer date (5 days after ovulation) might be when we're on holiday in mid August (grrr). Although as we're only in the North of England, I could come back to London for the day if needed.

Thanks for the warm welcomes everyone!

@phoebemouse and @orangefolly good luck with the tests. Which ones are you having done?

@blueberry1 I have sort of had some tests already - just hormones - I had most of them done for other reasons so estrogen wasn't done on right day. It was at a normal level tho for time of month and progesterone and all others fine. OH had his sperm test today.

GP has been great about doing our tests so soon due to agedness!

@Janefx40 excellent it sounds like your GP is being really helpful! I've had the 21 day progesterone done so far, and the first month it was a little low and second month came back fine, so she said it may just have been the wrong date in my cycle or I didn't ovulate that month which sounds alarming but she said that was normal (overall or just for my age, I'm not sure!)
My next tests coming up sound similar to yours, she didn't go into much detail so I'm confused but it's booked 1-3 days into my cycle so I think FSH and various other hormones!! Then I have to go back to talk about the results and potential next tests. Fingers crossed, it's all quite scary to think they could find something wrong!

What is your GP recommending next for you?

@phoebemouse sounds like similar tests. It is a bit scary but if you get ok results I felt such relief it was worth it!!

Next for us is OH's sperm results. If all is well, the GP wants us to relax and try for a few more months. He is probably right but then I may decide to do those other tests that @blueberry1 had re eggs. If we need IVF we should start asap so I will see.

off camping til Monday so have a good, happy few days all x

@Janefx40 Yes that is true, fingers crossed for good results! Have a great weekend away! x

@Janefx40 - sounds like you've got a helpful and well informed GP; half the battle!

My exciting (scary...) news is that I saw consultant this afternoon and apparently it would be OK to do natural cycle FET (frozen embryo transfer) next week !

Scan today showed normal cycle & ovulation should be early next week (earliest Sunday), then FET will be 5 days after that (late next week?). I have to keep on with OPKs and go back for scans tomorrow and Monday to monitor cycle progress. The only drugs I will have to take are progesterone pessaries.

After finding IVF less stressful than TTC (after 1 year of no results from TTC...), I now feel a bit nervous !

Today's scan revealed big fat follicle and womb lining already 9mm, so consultant said I will ovulate in next couple of days and they can go ahead with embryo transfer 5 days after that

DP now getting impatient ("why do we have to wait"?), but gets bored when I try to explain details (!!). However, after being quite reluctant to try IVF, he's now reconciled with idea that it might work and he ends up changing nappies next year . Although to be honest, after 1 year of TTC with no result, I still won't believe BFP can happen until it does. I wouldn't say I'm pessimistic however, just realistic.

How is everyone else? I want to hear lots of on target DTD followed by BFPs !!

Ooh! That sounds very hopeful! Good luck!

I'm due to ovulate the day after tomorrow, according to my calendar. Pee sticks are saying nothing so far, which is apparently how it should be today. Think it's due to be positive tomorrow, if my cycle is as the calendar predicts.

I'm mostly convinced that the lack of a positive result so far is because I will never ovulate, and this whole project is doomed to failure. (This is based on my results so far being entirely correct, so the worried part of my mind is clearly not feeling very logical right now.) Fingers crossed I'm wrong!

DTD is behind schedule. DH arrived home yesterday after some time away, miserable and stressed, and it was contagious. We're staying at a hotel tonight (forgot the pre-seed equivalent! Whoops), so perhaps a meal out followed by a dearth of other entertainment will help things along a bit...

@blueberry1 that is so exciting! I understand your pessimism - sometimes it's hard to imagine it actually happening - but things are about as positive as they can be for this stage and that's really great. Does that mean they will take out the egg you release now for fertilisation and then put it back? Or have they already got frozen embryos ready ?

@spargle good luck with DTD. Hope the hotel sets the mood.

I have been using OPK's in portaloos at a festival the last few days! Lovely. We've not managed the every other day thing as OH had to refrain before his sperm test so we had to. Hopefully early enough in the cycle not to matter.

Then we were meant to DTD Saturday but he got a bit stressed and it didn't happen. So we did it yesterday but now today I have a smiley face this morning. I know you are meant to leave a day in between but am worried we will miss the window if we don't do it tonight...then tomorrow...so looks like we have messed it up again this month

I have heard that every day is fine - missing a day in between doesn't necessarily help. I'd say to go with the festival vibes, and enjoy yourselves (even if you are back from the festival now).

We bumped into an old friend of DH in the pub, and have only just got back. There goes our early night! Still, it gave the curry a bit more time to go down (we had planned a romantic canal side walk, but you can't have everything...).

@Janefx40 - There are around five days per month when you can get pregant; several days before ovulation (sperm survive several days!) and day itself. Consultant said it can be less stressful to TTC every 2-3 days once AF is over until you've ovulated. I also read that best days are 2 days before ovulation plus day of. If you're managing better than that; don't worry !

I had egg retrieval in late June, which resulted in 3 frozen blastocyst (5 day) embryos. Once I ovulate, clinic will transfer 1 embryo 5 days later. Then I'll have to wait 12 days to test (unless AF comes before that).

Currently waiting to ovulate and have had 7 days (usually 4!?) of "high" fertility (oestrogen rise) but no "peak" (LH surge) as per Clearblue gizmo despite (TMI alert) fertile CM yesterday and today. Clinic not worried as scan yesterday showed maturing follicle & thickening womb lining, so they're sure I'll ovulate this week, possibly Thursday (CD18; I have ovulated that late before).

@Spargle - I lost count how many times TTC plans went awry . My OH prefers early morning to late night DTD, so if I ovulated during the week it was challenging, but weekends were fine. I also found that if I didn't encourage at right time, a whole fertile window could be missed, but if DP clocked on, then he felt under pressure, which was a bit of a passion killer .

@spargle hope you worked your magic at the hotel!

We had sperm results back. High count and good motility but low morphology (2% where bottom of healthy range is 4%). Dr said this "normal for age 40" but we want normal for TTC! Just trying to work out what it means! Ah this baby thing is a lot of science isn't it !

The hotel thing went very well in the end. I was feeling very happy with DH's willingness to DTD, whatever the motivation, which naturally led to what some might consider a performance issue last night. (Sod's law, I think.) It took a very long time, and a little bit of careful consideration, for suitable completion to occur. It was fun, but that area could do with avoiding too much wear and tear right now!

I thought I should update on the cheap ovulation sticks. Yesterday morning, I got a second line on the test. However, for this particular type of test, the second line is required to be darker than the first, and mine was fainter, meaning it wasn't a positive result. Today, I got a proper negative result.

I have now read up on the subject (one article, written by the manufacturer of a similar product), and have been informed that one should take an LH test between 10.00 and 20.00, as this is when the LH surge actually takes place. Would have been good to have this in the instructions. Also, one must never second-guess the test. I tried second-guessing the test (it was the only evidence of an LH surge I've shown, and it was at a time of day when apparently it wasn't good to test, so I was taking it as a probable positive result), and hope that this has no negative repercussions!

@Janefx40 that doesn't necessarily sound like an impossible situation, even though it is not ideal. Out of interest, how long did it take for you to get a result back?

@Blueberry how's it going? Do you have a definitive date for transfer? So exciting! I have my fingers very firmly crossed for you.

Hi @spargle. Glad you got yours! Sorry about the tenderness...ouch

We've been beset with "performance issues" this month - not typical so now OH freaking out which makes it worse. Even tried to jump him in the night...was going well until my bloody phone went off...I literally nearly screamed...so this month is a bit of a bust.

He did the sample last Wednesday and the GP phoned with the results yesterday. So that was just under a week.

X

@JaneFx40 - male fertility declines with age too, but most men don't know this. My OH was fine on count & morphology, but motility a bit low, hence clinic advised IVF with ICSI. I was found to have low-ish ovarian reserve (as per AMH & AFC), but better than average for my age & well within parameters for conceiving naturally or via IVF.

As IVF with ICSI resolves low motility, success now down to egg quality, which can't be measured . So Consultant can't say whether our chance of success is anything more than average for my age of 20%.

Good news is that I finally got the LH surge on Clearblue gizmo so clinic can arrange FET for next week. I think tomorrow will be considered day of ovulation, so transfer will be 5 days later i.e. next Tuesday .

Hi All, super busy atm.

Jane, my other half is the same, high count but low morphology. Think I read they should repeat test in a few months to check again but it was hard enough to get DP to do it the first time so we haven't bothered. But it's worth asking.

I am just trying to decide now whether it's worth paying for IVF or to go straight to adoption... We are time-limited because DP is 49 is December (can't be more than 50 years older than adopted child) and I'd just like to get a family going as soon as possible!

Currently being so baby-bombed it's doing my head in.

Hi everyone! No big news for me but thought I would say hi and check how everyone is doing! I am back in the dreaded TWW yet again and trying to keep hopes up but just found out another friend, who is about 5 years younger than me, is pregnant, and another friend just gave birth so I am feeling a bit low. I feel guilty for feeling anything less than joy for them but can't help also feeling jealous and a bit sorry for myself!

In more positive news, I have got my day 3 tests booked in for next week and DP got his test booked in for end of next month, which was the soonest they could get him in. Luckily that happened to be a day that we both had booked off work otherwise I was panicking that it could take months to get him booked in as he's so reluctant to take time off work for anything that isn't fun!

Also someone at work today made a very flippant comment about the NHS not giving free cycles of IVF to women over 36 (I am 37 soon) and this really upset me. I don't think this is true though? perhaps it depends where you live but a quick look online seems to suggest that my region offers it up to 42.

Anyway sorry for the grumpy post, I feel like everyone is out to make me feel bad today when it is very much in my own head! I hope everyone is ok and hopefully I will be back to positive mode soon!