35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

thanks Blueberry! Am going to pounce on OH later as my FW starts tomorrow according to Clue (though will do an OPK later also). The ones I've done so far seem to give me 4 high fertility days consistently before my peak. We had a massive booze blow out this weekend as had lots on so have decided that's it now, going to give up and take this all seriously. Also going to try to lose some weight. Am around 2 stone over where I normally am. I'm not big really but it will probably help to lose a bit.

@coastalchick, healthy-ing your lifestyle a bit (cutting down on alcohol & caffeine, eating more fruit & veg and less junk etc), can never be a bad thing. Keeping your BMI in the healthy range is also recommended.

Although don't overdo the exercise, I was marathon training (4 runs a week, up to 60km at peak) when we started to TTC last year and later found out that level of exercise could have been a factor in not being able to conceive . However consultant said what I do now (running 3x a week plus some gentle commuter cycling) is absolutely fine .

Well, I'm halfway through my tww, more or less. It's not actually two weeks. It's two weeks and two days, and those extra two days are important!

I've been learning all sorts of things about conception that I'd forgotten. I didn't remember that implantation a week after the sex which starts it all is basically as fast as is possible, and that any symptoms before implantation are either in your head, or a reaction to being very sensitive to the hormones the blastocyst releases.

So I've been having all these (tiny) symptoms, and feeling all optimistic. My idea of where my womb is has been kind of cramping in the tiniest, nicest way, and I've not quite been as hungry as usual, plus the other end has been playing up in a way nobody wants to hear about. I had some satisfactory and convincing backache yesterday evening. Oh, and it turns out I initiated sex last night in my sleep, which is probably just as dodgy as it sounds (and unexpected for us both), but most enjoyable. (I woke up before things actually kicked off, and used my words in an encouraging way.) I think maybe I have more sex drive than usual? But that tends to be a sign of ovulation, I thought, not recent conception.

Now I feel generally pretty ok, and also slightly deflated. It's fun building your own hopes up far in advance of any actual information, isn't it? I think that everything means basically nothing, and that I'm reading too much into everything (and abstaining from alcohol to no useful end!).

It's all fine, really. I know as much as I knew yesterday, which is nothing. I'm not in an actual hurry to conceive this month, or next month (I am in a hurry after that, though!). It's just all a bit strange, this mental striving towards something out of my control.

Oh, and if this was TMI, let me know, and I'll edit my revelations to be safe for work!

@Spargle - we've all tortured ourselves trying to work out whether 2ww symptoms are a sign of pregnancy or AF on the way. So you're normal .

If you know your luteal phase length, then no point testing before end of it and also a pharmacist advised me not to test until 14 DPO as HCG hormone levels might be too low to detect beforehand.

AF is due today. No sign of it as yet but my boobs are killing me and I've got cramps so I know it's coming :-( I know it's silly to be disappointed as I knew I'd be lucky to get BFP on the first attempt but yet I can't help it.

@LynseyLou1982 - the problem is that AF-is-coming signs and early pregnancy signs are annoyingly similar. Was Mother Nature just having a laugh?

The only time you get pregnant quickly is when you didn't intend it. An ex-colleague ended up giving birth just after Christmas, which was far from ideal. She hadn't planned it that way; it had taken over 6 months to conceive their 1st child, but the 2nd only took a weekend in Venice! .

I got AF last night. For the 1st time in over a year, I was glad as it means my body is going back to normal after the IVF drugs & egg retrieval . I have an appointment with Fertility Consultant next week. I think we'll have to wait one more menstrual cycle before we can move to embryo transfer.

@Blueberry1 It's so annoying isn't it? It's the not knowing for sure and the anxiousness that gets to me. I don't do well with anxiety sometimes.
Hope everything goes well with the Fertility Consultant.

Right, so, this week is THE week according the Clue. Last 2 days was doing clearblue dual OPK and it was giving me nothing. I did wonder if it was because I'd been using it in march and april and then stopped as OH had a flid out and has only just agreed to start trying again (we literally did it once in april in FW and he said it was a "shallow one" ha ha!!). So bought a new one but used old one this morning and got a flashing smiley! A bit annoying as had set alarm for 6am thinking I'd jump him then but when alarm went off, I just moved it on an hour then no time!!! Tonight he is at band practice and I have to do fake tan(!) but going to try to grab him before he heads to band practice (which might mean him missing his tea but SO!)

So going to try to get him tonight, tomorrow night (though we are out but I am driving so should hopefully be awake still) and then until end of FW!!!! It's hard though as I have a skin condition down there (basically eczema) which makes it v painful sometimes but my gynae gave me some local anaesthetic to put on around 20 mins before if I can to help (this all seems to have happened since I had pre-cancerous cells lasered off around 3 years ago!)

we DTD!!!!!! OH got home from work having run home and was all sweaty so told him to get in shower (and he shaved too) and we DTD! Pain wasn't too bad for me this time and then he even got me pillows (without prompting) to put under me (though I read somewhere theres no evidence that actually works). He's gone off to band practice now and then is going to the pub for one with his band mates. So I even get the tv to myself tonight - bonus!!!

We're not out until 8 tomorrow night so don't know whether to do it before we go out or wait till friday, but friday we have his work summer ball and not home until 1245 so not sure it will happen then so maybe tomorrow would be a better option.

He seems so on board with it this time which is great! I'm 39 in sept - wish I'd met him years ago instead of wasting 4.5 years on my then fiance who turned out to be a lying cheating son of a!!!

@Blueberry1 thanks for the solidarity! I swear time doesn't normally go this slowly! Desperate to do a test, but there's no point in disappointing myself repeatedly. I think next Tuesday is the day, and I should certainly be able to hold out until at least Sunday. (I know. But disappointment only costs about 33p a pop.)

Glad to hear your cycle is doing what you need it to do. I hope it springs straight back to normal, so you can get on with things.

@LynseyLou1982 I assume that your lack of another update isn't good news. I hope I'm wrong, and you're just too happy and shocked to get back to us. But I feel you. I, too, am on my first cycle, and know that it's not likely to happen so fast (and I don't need it to happen yet), but I am now emotionally committed to being pregnant. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to control how we feel about things?

@coastalchick good luck! I hope you manage to fit in as much appropriate activity as possible, and that the timings all work out in the best possible way!

@blueberry1 - so glad you got AF and hope all goes well with consultant.

@spargle - thank you! and good luck to you too!

So tested this morning and got the static face! When I was testing back in March/April was getting 4 HF days before PF. This time only got 1 but thinking that might be because I didn't start the testing early enough. Yesterday was day CD14 and obv we did it. Going to grab OH before we go out tonight and do it again (by time tested this morning there was not enough time) and hope we've timed it right (more by luck than judgment) though totally not expecting to be pregnant first time, and particularly at my age (and given I am not most healthy!)

Though I am falling victim to what I've read on here a lot of people do - had sharp pain in side last night and was really uncomfortable sleeping but it could not be due to conception surely?

Driving tonight so not drinking and I've offered to drive us and friends to OH summer ball tomorrow (we were originally getting a taxi) as just feel that even though read a few drinks won't do harm in first 2 weeks (and likelihood is I am NOT pregnant based on odds) I just think at my age I need all the help I can get and so why risk it. Drat, we are away next weekend with OH dad and step mum and was looking forward to a few drinks but will refrain!!!!

Loving how OH now totally on board and making me eat veggies - keeps saying "if you're going to be the mother of my child...". We are not married or even engaged yet but been together 2.5 years and just bought first house together (first house either of us have ever bought with another person) in April. He is just so lovely and morally right - totally different to what I used to go for and think he will be an amazing dad so just hoping we can manage it.

Finances still worry me and we will be totally broke at end of this month as just booked our 2 week hols for sept/oct which paid deposit and flights for and balance payable 21st. As we've been furnishing house/fixing things it's eaten away at all spare cash (and there are still things we need) and I've been having to pay tax office back £422 a month because they messed up my tax returns for last 2 years though that ends after september pay so that's good. But I guess we will just make do. We can pay mortgage and bills from OH's pay and cover our food etc so it would just be savings/other spending money/holidays but we can sacrifice that if we need.

Also spoke to HR confidentially a little while ago and they said (I trust her as she's nice) that if I don't hit the 2 year criteria then if I'm close they will usually give something, so suppose if 2 months off they might give me a few weeks paid or something which would be good. And maybe I'll just save all my holiday to use so I would be paid for that.

Sorry for brain dump!!!!!

Hello can I join?

I'm 35, DH is 43
We're now just starting cycle #7 (CD1 - boo), which means it's time for us to go to the GP and see what's up.

Bit nervous as I don't really know what to expect, and am simultaneously worried about getting the brush off and being told there is something actually wrong!

@orangefolly hello and welcome!

I know what you mean about the doctor's appointment. I hope that it goes well in every way. You're probably fine - you're well within the year it can take to conceive - but you are totally doing the right thing getting it checked out. Good luck!

Hi, first time here
Im 37, TTC for couple years now, been to doctors, done scans, all checks - everything looks good but then why we can't conceive? so confused. My periods are 28 days like clockwork, and this one was 6 days late and then I began to bleed. Not like normal period, very light and lasted pushing 2 days. PTs are negative, but I feel dizzy and crazy hunger, bloated, constipated with itchy nipples( sorry for tmi) I'm also NEVER late. Is there a chance this is late spotting/ breakthrough.And I'm actually pregnant or am I just kidding myself??

@Kristina07 could be. Maybe go and see your GP, because whatever's happening could probably do with being checked out. Sometimes it takes a bit for the appropriate hormones to make it to the level at which they can be recorded by a pg test, so that might be what's happening... Good luck!

@Spargle thank you. Didn't bother us before but now we both feel as clock is ticking and this time everything is different or just maybe it's all in my head. Might wait few more days and test again if not pay a visit to my GP.

@orangefolly - good luck with the appointment - hopefully will give you some peace of mind and at least you know you are taking action.

@kristina07 - yes think GP visit is a good idea and have fingers and toes crossed for you.

We did it again last night before we went out. But I am now getting imaginary symptoms when I know it's too early and I am highly unlikely to get pregnant first time. Felt really nauseous last night and had the runs last night and this morning. Was going to grab OH again this morning but didn't and now we won't have chance as at ball tonight (and having hair done before) so will be too tired. In some ways its good as really I don't want it to happen until Sept but I do know I will be disappointed if I'm not. 2WW here we come!

Well, AF has arrived four days early. I woke up early with cramping, which is hardly the best start to the day. It's a bit weird - I've always had a cycle of 28 to 29 days, but since coming off the pill it seems to have shortened. I've just looked at the Clue analysis, and since coming off the pill I've had one 29 days, then a 25, a 26, and a 25 day cycle. I think I've excluded the 29-day cycle now, and it's re-set itself to say that I ovulated two days before the first instance of BD-ing. Thanks for that, Clue. Ah well - DH was far away at that point, and it couldn't have happened anyway.

Onward and upward. There is wine with my name on it, which I have been avoiding, ovulation prediction methods for me to research, and strong painkillers to take. Better luck next month, eh?

@spargle. So sorry to hear that but def have a glass of wine and try again. Big hugs. xxx

@Spargle - AF - boo! At least you can have a glass of now. A chilled Rosé given the weather perhaps?

My cycle has had irregular phases since I came off the pill. It has ranged from 24 (!) to 32 days, but is usually +/-29 days. Ovulation ranged from day 10 to 18 (!?), so OPKs were useful (although TMI alert - egg white cervical mucous has always been spot on, so could probably just use that).

@Kristina - you might be kidding yourself, but you might not be as light spotting can occur in early pregnancy (implantation bleeding), see: www.babymed.com/implantation-bleeding-or-menstrual-period-bleeding-cycle.

@orangefolly - if you're over 35 & have been trying for 6+ months, then you shouldn't be fobbed off by your GP. They should arrange for some tests for you and your OH. I didn't do tests on NHS, but Miraflores (now pregnant after 20 months of trying ) did, so if you look earlier on in this thread, she explained her experience, which you may find helpful.

driving myself insane imagining all kinds of symptoms (felt sick and off yesterday and have diarrhea today) and googling like mad. It is highly unlikely I am pregnant first time at my age. How do we manage to convince ourselves we are?! Can't do a test for ages yet - do the rest of you go insane too?!

Hello everyone! I'm just back from holidays and catching up. Welcome to everyone new to the thread too!

I wondered if anyone knows how you can find out what your luteal phase length is? I would like to work mine out although it could just be another thing for me to obsess over! Or is it something they will test for at the doctors? We've got our appointment coming up this week, eek!

Thanks all for the welcomes! Great to know @blueberry - I will go back and check it out.

@phoebemouse I think the luteal phase is just the number of days between ovulation and your next period, so if you have been tracking ovulation with OPKs or temping you should be able to go back and check how many days you usually have between the two. Mine varies quite a lot, much more than the length of my cycle.

@orangefolly Ah i haven't tried an ovulation tracker yet so maybe need to do that. I've just been put off by the prices of them! It is interesting how much they vary. I think we will just stick with trying every couple of days throughout my cycle and hope that works eventually. Going to the docs on Wednesday so hopefully she can arrange some more hormone tests etc for me to check what is going on!

@PhoebeMouse I just bought 50 ovulation sticks for about £5.50 from a Chinese seller in the U.K. on eBay. They're due to arrive by Wednesday, I think (I ordered them on Saturday, after the fertility book I read made me feel sad). So they don't have to be expensive.