35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

@louste78 - Glad it's not just me... I'm being driven to chocolate !!

Some discoloured CM indicates to me that AF is on the way in the next few days

@blueberry1 Im just trying to chill until monday........praying i get a smiley face then....so nervous and excited at the chance we may have a baby! just hoping it does work not sure i can take months of AF arriving.....oh well only time will tell :/

CD30, DPO 11 or 14 (depending on whether Fertility Friend or me got it right). LP has usually been around 12 days. BBT all over the place, but above coverline. NO AF, but very light discoloured CM on and off since Thursday (!).

Something similar happened at Christmas; I got 4 days of light bleeding/discoloured CM followed by AF after DPO 14, so could be a repeat of that. If my calculations are right (O = CD15), AF will be late tomorrow and BFP is possible (DTD O-1). If FF is right, then AF due Weds or Thurs and no chance of BFP (no suitably timed DTD). Who knows???? .

But after 1 year of TTC, I simply don't believe we're going to conceive naturally and as DP is resolute that he doesn't want to try IVF, then my chances of becoming a Mum don't look great .

@Blueberry1 Fingers crossed for you to get BFP....we are only just starting and been using CB OPK - had 2 days last week CD10 and CD12 as blank circles....and we were away the weekend, did another yesterday CD 16 and one today CD17 got a solid smiley....we are using a donor so we are fingers crossed we are in time!

I really hope you do get a BFP, are you going to see a Dr or try for a little longer?

Ah Blueberry, I'm sorry to hear things are tough. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, it may just take you guys a little longer. Hugs.

Can I join in? I'm 38 on cycle 3 just had 2nd bfn but still no af I'm CD 26. Only Been temping since ovulation day but it's still elevated ... so confused.

Got lots of creamy watery white CM no odour lower back pain mild tender boobs a pulling pain rather than dull cramps in pelvic area. Waves of nausea...

@positiveThinkingCG37 - how long are your cycles normally??

I'm now in week 2 of the wait! will know by this time next week....AF due 25th :/ dont think we will get a bfp

Hi I'm ladies, how's everyone doing so far?
Just got back from my 32 weeks scan. Babi is 4lb 10 now!! And we saw her clear and face to us and she's got my mouth, my lips!! Seen so clear!! One more scan to go at 36 weeks and on 1/06 I'll get my date for CS. Omg! It's all happening!! And still very unreal. Hospital and Babi's bag are ready, to make it even more real.

@louste78 25 to 27 days ... AF arrived day 30 this time... just starting cycle 4 😩 did you have any luck?

Hi everyone! I'm 38 and on cycle 4... I'm sick of being told I'm over thinking it and should just put it to the back of my mind abd relax!! Ugh! This is from someone who fell pregnant first month first try! Makes me want to scream at them.
There is no way you can out it at the back of your mind when you want it so so so much! Baby dust everyone!!!!!

Hello everyone. Glad I found this thread, am new on this app. @Usernamegone similar to me! I came off the pill last May too. We've only just started to try (2 x DTD).

Age 36 (terrified I'm too old to be starting to try, especially as always hoped for a big family)
TTC #1
AF due today according to my app but I've been very stressed (family bereavement and huge problems at work) so goodness knows what my cycle will be like this month!

Hi, Little, welcome! We're all in the same boat, similarly terrified I'm sure! But we have had successes, so try to think positively! Are you going through any tests? Sorry to hear you've been stressed. Fx for you.

Hi all, nice to see some new ladies have joined this thread. Welcome!

Glad pregnancy is progressing well @Russkispy. You'll be enjoying the joys and trials of parenthood before you know it.

I'm on CD24 & DPO 10 (lutueal phase +/- 12 days), so at that point when I could be pregnant, but almost certainly am not (only 1x on target DTD this month 2-3 days before ovulation). Nothing special to report; usual skin breakouts & sore boobs. No spotting/light flow before AF this month, but that doesn't always happen. I think AF will come Sunday or Monday (CD27/28).

If nothing this month, then I'm hoping to start IVF as DP has become more amenable to it (he's not 100% on board, but hopefully getting there).

@positivethinking - people are thoughtless aren't they? I'm lucky to have a close friend who went through infertility herself (adopted her 2nd child after 4 years of trying/treatment). I think most people don't share their infertility/struggling to conceive experience, whereas those who conceive easily shout about it, so it gives false impression.

For example, I found out this weekend that a friend who got pregnant quickly after getting married at age nearly 39 had actually stopped using contraception a year beforehand, as having PCOS she assumed natural conception would be difficult if not impossible. So she didn't get pregnant after "only 3 months of trying"; it was 3 months of targeted TTC after 9 months of not using contraception.

Hello @SoozC no tests. I am starting fertility abdominal massage & cutting back on alcohol, caffeine and sugar plus switching all my products to ones without nasty chemicals that affect hormones etc. Am more worried about my DH as he is a smoker, heavy drinker and overweight plus rides his bike loads which are all things that can apparently make for crappy sperm :(

Have you had any tests? X

Hope af has stayed away for you, Blueberry.

Little, I've had day 3 and 21 bloods that show I'm ovulating, so that's a start! DP had an SA recently so we need to make an appointment to get the results of that. Only just started on this part of the journey, having been trying for about 15 cycles now. Good luck with the massage, it'll be interesting to see if it helps! Keep positive about your other half - there's no guarantee those things will affect his fertility so fingers crossed!

We've just started properly trying again after our short break. I feel enthusiastic about it again which is good! No opks or bbt this time, just lots of dtd, as I was getting too stressed before. I have a low sex drive too, which I think may have been part of the problem before. I was stressing myself out thinking "we HAVE to dtd tonight" which was making me feel pressured which may have inadvertently been pressuring DP so he felt unhappy about it all too. This time, I'm focusing on baby-making as a spur to initiate dtd every two days, which I think will make DP much happier! If that makes any sense, focusing on every couple of days rather than a specific short window of opportunity. Confusing myself now but it makes sense in my head! Worked last night anyway

@SoozC what's opks and bbt?

@Sooz - no AF was bang on time on Sunday (13DPO) as expected. I've now called fertility clinic to make appointment for IVF planning meeting although DP is still not fully on board .

Consultant told me that it can be more effective (and possibly less stressful) to TTC every 2 days over a period that is longer than your fertile window. So if you know roughly through previous cycle tracking when you ovulate e.g. around day 14, then DTD on 10-12-14-16.

@LittleManc OPK = ovulation predictor kit aka the sticks you wee on that tell you when you're fertile (I recommend clearblue ones that give you 5 fertile days).

BBT = basal body temperature (your precise temperature to the 2 decimal places to track your cycle). You need BBT if you're going to track your cycle properly as temperature rises AFTER you ovulate, so you can (retrospectively) work out when it was which can be helpful for predicting in future.

Ah, blueberry, sorry about af. I hope your meeting goes okay and that DP comes on board soon. Sounds like there been a bit of headway recently.

Glad to hear that consultant concurs with my own assessment of ttc this cycle! I'm just going to try dtd every two or three days regardless of when my fw is though.

Exciting news; we signed the gazillion consent forms for IVF this week! It took some time to get DP on board and he's still not super enthusiastic, but I'm just happy we will give it a chance .

We've gone for paid up front 2 cycle package, which is 30-40% cheaper than paying as you go, unless you're successful first time (who would care then?! ).

We'll also do the CCS (comprehensive chromosome screening) form of PGS (pre-implantation genetic screening). The consultant advised it and I read up on it and decided it would give us the best chance. It has shown good results in women aged 38-42 as IVF often fails in older women due to chromosomally faulty (aneuploid) embryos, which CCS can screen out/identify the good (euploid) ones.

I start the drugs next week. I'm prepared for them to be horrible. But surely they can't be worse than the last few miles of a marathon and I've done that a few times?

Hi blueberry, I'm also 41 and starting ivf next week for the first time. I've been following this post but haven't posted before. It seems strange to even write 'I'm starting ivf'. Seems like it happening to someone else. Had a meeting with the nurse on thurs and will probably start next thurs when period arrives. Always a slim chance it won't arrive but not too hopeful about that. I def do t feel pregnant at the moment. Yeah, I'm prepared for the drugs to be horrible too but I feel at least I'm doing all I can to get get the outcome I want and it's only for a few weeks. I'll probably just try ivf once though, unless I get some embryos to freeze, just due to expense. Good luck with it all. Fingers crossed!! X

Hi @user1471471849, the pay up front multicycle package we have signed up for is from Access Fertility, which work with various clinics including the one we're using. For oldies (over 39), they offer 2 cycle programme, which covers everything except initial consultations, medication and PGS (if needed).

In my situation, if we need 2 cycles, we'll save £5k, whereas if IVF works (this is defined as live birth) on 1st cycle, we'll have overpaid £3k. We have enough (just) for the 2 cycles up-front, but would struggle to pay a 2nd cycle directly to clinic.

If you're only doing 1 cycle, I would advise reading up on PGS (the CCS variety, sometimes called aneuploidy screening). There is an growing body of evidence (proper studies published in serious journals) that it's helpful for older women whose IVF often fails because embryos are aneuploid.

The way my consultant explained it was that identifying euploid (embryos with correct no of chromosomes) and screening out those that are aneuploid avoids "wasted" embryo transfers, ie those destined to fail. If an embryo is euploid then chances of successful pregnancy for an older woman are similar to those for a younger woman, as failure isn't due to inability of body to carry a baby, but egg and consequently embryo quality.

However, older maternal age can mean that a low number of eggs are retrieved, an even smaller number of which make it to 5 day (blastocyst) embryo stage, and then none of those embryos are found to be euploid i.e. suitable for transfer.

Very exciting, Blueberry! Thanks for explaining the process you've gone through and the research - it helps to hear how others are getting on as we may need it too. I'll have my fingers crossed for you - keep us posted!!

Thanks blueberry. My consultant said they don't do pgs and if we wanted it done we'd have to send them away to be tested. i think she said the cost was another 7k on top of ivf. Something extortionate that we just couldn't afford, also as you say, older women will get less embryos so I might not have a lot of choice anyway. Thanks for the info anyway. Good to get another perspective. Maybe it's more affordable in the U.K.- Im in Ireland. I'm on day 2 today. Did my first injection last night which was nerve wracking but doable. Hope it all goes well for us!

@user1471471849 we are paying less than 3k (sterling) for PGS in up to 8 embryos. I doubt we'd get 8 embryos making it to PGS stage in 1 cycle. It takes two weeks to get results and I don't know if they do it in their own lab or send it elsewhere. But if your clinic doesn't do it and they need to send it away (outside of Ireland?), that could explain cost.

PGS isn't best choice for everyone. Evidence isn't conclusive (not enough studies yet) and there are questions about self-correction in screened out embryos after a handful of cases of "rejected" embryos being implanted and ending up as healthy babies. It's all about egg quality, so if that's good enough then chance of IVF success is greater whether you do PGS or not .

I think I read TOO MUCH (I work in a university so can access all the journals....). But at least I'm not under any illusions. And to be fair the clinic have been totally honest albeit in a diplomatic way. Even DP (who was rather cynical due it being a private clinic) said "they didn't sugarcoat it at all".

Got medications delivered today, start tablets on Friday 26th. First scan Mon 5th. Cross fingers!!

Hi everyone,
I know I haven't been on mn for a while but there wasn't much to write home about. Have just been catching up and really pleased to hear your news blueberry

We were all set to start ivf next month then had a surprise bfp! After 20 months of infertility with no positive tests we could barely believe it! I know we are very lucky. I had a hsg in march and even though my tubes were clear I wonder if that was something to do with it. Am currently week 6 or 7. I hope my story can give some hope that it can still happen. I was convinced that we'd need ivf. If anyone out there hasn't had an hsg I would recommend it. In hindsight I would've had one earlier, sorry if that is patronising but felt I should mention it.
Good luck russkispy glad to hear everything's going well.
Keeping my fingers crossed for everyone x