35+ TTC #1

[elisev]

Hi all,

Just wanted to start a thread for all of us over 35 just starting out.

I am: 36 (37 in Nov)
Cycle #1 CD 22

I've been 'prepping' my body for this for a year, lost weight, increased my fitness levels and been taking vitamins etc so I feel like I've been mentally preparing for this for AGES, as a result I'm finding the waiting game torturous! I've been tracking my cycles, 27 days average, and using OPK's - just started that this month. We dtd the day before getting a smiley face and then twice on the day we got one.

Are there others who feel impatient/worried like me because you feel time is not on our sides? So bloody stressful!

Fingers crossed for you sooz
I'm in 2ww but in my 13th cycle I feel like I have given up, expecting af as usual. What cycle day are you on?
I'm thinking of trying hycosy (privately) whilst trying to get the NHS to give me my one free cycle which I should get if I have a diagnosed problem, or if unexplained infertility then i have to wait til next august when I turn 36
After that adoption -except I think you have to wait 1 year after treatment to even start!

Thanks, mira! I'm on cd32 today, af due now!

What's hycosy? I had bloods, all seems fine if a bit low in some areas. I have a GP appt in a week to chat about next steps; I feel it may be DH-to-be which is going to be interesting as he's not good with hospitals and doesn't really masterbate.

I'm really just not sure of my next options. Why do to have to wait until you're 36? (I'm 36 in August too!)

I agree, everything seems to take too long. Fx for you.

Hi sooz hycosy is basically a tubal patency test, I can't remember what it stands for! No idea if I need it but it will give me peace of mind that nothing's stopping sperm from getting to egg at least...I've heard that it can clear minor blockages as well and make you more fertile for next few cycles cos it flushes out your system...
I have to wait for a diagnosis or til I'm 36 (for free treatment) cos that's what my ccg says.
It might be an idea to go to your gp armed with what ur ccg provides in case they try and fob you off. We are going to insist on referral to fertility clinic at our next gp clinic.
Good luck at the drs, hope it goes well.

How is everyone else doing emotionally and physically?

Hi Ladies!

Soozc and Miraflores I also 36 in August!

Ive been googling loads about fibroids ( which I was told I have ) and now concerned the medication they can offer is cam cause HRT type symptoms so will basically make me unbearable and mess with cycles or alternatively a procedure to remove them but that could take months! Now feel quite disheartened about it all and my biological clock is ticking very loudly !

Sorry to moan hope everyone else is feeling more positivity!

Feel free to moan, hopeful!

I put my hair up in a high bun today and when I looked in the mirror saw loads of grey hairs at my temples! Made me feel really old. Time to get to the hairdressers, methinks!

Oh God sooz been dyeing my hair for years!
I've got proper loads but I pull out my hair when stressed so that's my excuse - I shouldn't be this grey at this age
I've got black hair so it's really visible...
Have you tried that paint on stuff, it's not very good imo except when ur really in a pinch!

Yeah been dyeing my hair for years but haven't for ages. The grey hairs are a stark reminder to go back.

Feeling crap tonight. Was telling myself it's okay if I'm not preggers because I don't want to be a preggers bride but of course it's not okay. Af late although hasn't arrived (but a very small amount of very very pale pink twice today so probably tomorrow), bfn yesterday and zero symptoms. Just wishing it would happen for me and DP.

Sooz maybe you could be a glowing blossoming bride (as opposed to a waddling up the aisle with heartburn type of bride).
You'd need to get the greys covered to complete the radiant look.

Oops posted too soon Sooz just trying to lighten your mood. Have you set a wedding date yet?

Had a crappy night - af cramps arrived in the worst possible way about 1am. DP really sad for us this morning which of course makes it worse.

Anyway, had better just try and move on. Bring miserable isn't helping anyone.

Baguette, no date yet but I'm thinking June 1st. I'd like to set it soon though as it might tempt fate and I'll be a preggers bride or at least I'll have something to look forward to!

Sorry to hear that sooz but great news about setting a date for the wedding!
how are you finding the wedding planning?
Afm I think af is going to start imminently but started having pink/brown disch pre af starting proper, not sure what that's about?!

@Sooz @JeneBaguetteRien @Miraflores81 - I claim not to have almost any grey hairs, but that's because on dark blonde hair, they can be dismissed as extra light blonde strands .

@Sooz - if you set a date for your wedding, sod's law dictates you definitely will be pregnant by then and have to do emergency new wedding dress buying/adjusting. I would say tempt fate!

This is my fertile week and DP and I were going to try to follow the consultants advice (TTC on CD 12, 14, 16 & 18), but our first attempt (yesterday evening) didn't work and then another attempt this morning didn't work either. This happened last month as well (but not previously). I think I'm stressing DP out too much .

AF started now swinging between anger (WHY can't I get f---ing pregnant) and sadness and seeing nothing but bfn in the future...
I know it's the hormones and I'll feel better later but after the 13th cycle how many more times can I pick myself up and dust myself down? It's exhausting and I've never been naturally optimistic anyway.
Time to break out the big guns --
Putting guardians of the galaxy on!
Hoping Decembers' a lucky month for us all

Oh mira, I feel your pain. Try and stay positive although I know that's hard. Sending you lots of virtual hugs and hope you have some chocolate and/or wine with the film.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to do all that crossing out!

Hugs miraflores hoping for December for you, a little Christmas pudding.

Sooz have fingers crossed for a June wedding with a nice round bump!

Hello, without too much drum roll, I'm new (first timing posting and everything). I think I've been avoiding joining any kind of online forum, because it feels a bit like admitting it's really a problem... I'm 36, 37 in the New Year. This is my 15th cycle. We've had some basic tests (private SA and AMH and 21 day blood, pelvic ultrasound and HSG on the NHS) and nothing is showing as wrong. We've basically been told by the NHS consultant to go away and crack on. Which, as I am sure many of you know is not that easy. In the whole time we've not even had a sniff of a BFP. OH pretty much gave up this month, and we're all about ready to be carted off down the doctors for anti-depressants. In the time we're been trying pretty much all of our closest friends have got pregnant, and a number of less close friends are pregnant or on their second.

We've an appointment just before Christmas with the private clinic we had a couple of tests done at to discuss our treatment options, on the assumption it'll take a couple of further months before we had any treatment (giving us another 4/5 cycles to continue trying to conceive naturally).

Anyway, hello nice to meet you all :)

Welcome Spacecats.
Hope you find it helps to chat with us; sometimes to vent too.
I'm about the same age as you but have just started with tests.
Got to CD29 with not a sniff of AF. Tested this morning... BFN. 5 minutes later started spotting. Disappointed of course but DH seems more so than me today. As he said there was nothing more we could have done this month. Even DTD twice in one day on 2 occasions in FW and according to Clearblue OPK timing was good.
Going to have dinner out tonight and a bottle glass of wine and look at this as a new cycle starting. DH had already pledged not to eat pâté at Christmas (huuuuge sacrifice) in solidarity with me as we were both beginning to think this was the month.

Hello spacecats and welcome from me too.
Well done on getting all that done on NHS, we are on our 13th failed cycle and haven't been referred, though we have started tests at private clinic.
Sorry to hear how you have been feeling I have been having a tough time with it too. Wish there was more help/understanding for people like us, but hope you get some comfort from this thread.
You're not alone in any case.

blueberry what are your thoughts on other means of insemination? OH has used preseed mixed with semen and inserted in via the preseed applicator. Not very romantic I know, and apologies if that isn't a very useful suggestion. Maybe it might help with the pressure to perform???
sooz hope af finishes soon and you can get back to making that baby!
Thanks all for being nice to me.

Welcome Spacecats.

Thanks, Baguette and Mira.

Just having a wobble; was looking at FF and saw I have 156 days left of the one year premium membership I bought. That's 210 days since I bought it, when I'd only been on this journey for a few months and I was so sure I wouldn't need a year. It was just a bit of a shock, if you guys can understand that. 7 months on and nothing. It makes me sad and scared that it's not going to happen.

And I'm supposed to be having a nice relaxing night in! Have had wine and chocolate though, maybe I need more!!

Total solidarity with you sooz I know exactly what you mean
Eat your own body weight in chocolate, buy something you shouldn't, book an exotic holiday, do whatever it takes to make you feel better that's what I say! Sending you positive vibes

Hi @Spacecats welcome to our group. Sorry you haven't had any luck. You're still young enough that fertility treatment has a good chance of success (I'm not ) if you don't manage to conceive naturally.

@miraflores81 - DP has almost agreed to do SA with a view to trying Clomid + IUI (a slight improvement in chance of success over natural TTC), but he finds it all rather stressful. This month we literally didn't manage ANY DTD in my FW (not for the 1st time), so 100% guarantee of no BFP this month. Oh well at least I can drink .

I'm in a bit of a mess. On the one hand, part of me feels completely hopeless (I cry several times a week) and thinks I simply left it too late and we can't have a baby. On the other hand, I know that our TTC efforts have been sub-optimal, which may be the reason for our lack of success.

In addition, while the consultant at the fertility clinic was very frank, I am not such a hopeless case that fertility treatment doesn't offer a much higher albeit still modest chance of successful pregnancy. So while there is some hope, I don't feel able to give up. DP feels differently; he's happy to try naturally and if it works, great, if not, then life goes on. For me it is fundamental. This difference of views is causing a lot of friction in our relationship .