TTC after miscarriage thread #6

[jodiebee664]

New thread for all navigating the bewildering world of trying to conceive after a miscarriage. Whether you have dc or are ttc your first, all are welcome here. We share the positive, the negative and the down right confusing.

Here's link to previous thread...www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2657346-TTC-after-miscarriage-thread-5?noti=1#62460035

Went to the doctor and asked for blood tests, he said fine and gave me the form, so went to have the blood taken and turned out he'd given me the wrong form by mistake so I couldn't have them done I'm so sick of doctors and midwifes making stupid mistakes, I'm not going to bother going back, just going to accept I'm pregnant for now and if I'm still pregnant in a month or so il contact midwives to book in, what a waste of a morning!

That sucks Alb. Still got everything crossed for you here.

No real news here. CD 16 and probably goign to ovulate today or tomorrow by the looks of things. Have DTD saturday aM, this AM will hopefully manage tomorrow AM too. Then on to more waiting.

Alb sorry your Dr was shite. Will be sending positive thoughts your way.

Brenna hope this is a successful month for you!

Mrs a question for you- when your hCG was at 12 a few weeks ago did anyone say you should hold off TTC until they figured it out? I know that was the start of your BFP so might not be the same but my bloods from last Fri have come back at 13 so they want to test again to see which direction it's going in. Now considering I had my period last week I assume that just confirms the CP and this is the hCG falling?

Got a flashy face on my ov test today (CD10/11) so hoping it's the real thing and not the leftover hCG interfering?

Also should say I had a negative opk yesterday. So maybe I am in the lead in to ov.

F&vking hell this is difficult. I was really starting to feel better but today has been a bit of a wobble

Fingers crossed that this one sticks for you alb sorry that your doctor was so useless though.

Say when my bloods were 20 I asked them when I could ttc again and they said as long as I had a negative preg test I could ttc, so I did a CB one that was 25 sensitivity a couple of days later and got a negative so just went for it. I don't think there is any reason to wait other than for dating unless you are physically or emotionally ready too. Even when I spoke to the epu today she told me to at least wait until I'd had a negative test to ttc again when I mentioned my bleeding was now very light...she obviously has me noted as impatient and desperate to be pregnant!

I definitely got a flashing smiley and then a static smiley whilst I still had hcg in my system, think I had a blood test the day before my static smiley and it was 15 and I obviously ovulated as I got pg again so I'd trust your ov test as it must be possible to ovulate with low levels of hcg, also I think the flashing smiley is estrogen and static is LH which is the one that is similar to hcg...definitely dtd

Sorry you've felt wobbly today, i think it's totally normal to have good days and bad days though, hopefully with more time there will be a lot more good than bad.

Sorry you're having a rubbish day, Say.

Hey all,
Just checking in to say hi and sorry to read everyone is going through a rubbish time - so tough but we will get there!
Haz did you find out about your BFP's? Last time I was on here you'd had some and I had a real feeling you were pregnant! Hopefully you've had good news!
Alb sorry it's been a rubbish time for you!
Brenna good luck!
Say you have all my sympathy, it is very tough!
Good luck to everyone else in the 2ww, I know we'll all get our positives soon! xx

Hello all! Been keeping a low profile and away from anything ttc related as I really want to try and relax this month!

AF cruelly teased me last month and arrived 4 days late, thankfully I was on holiday with no tests so at least I didn't waste £££££ Poas like a mad woman!

Currently cd12 here, usually ov around cd 16 so I suppose we should try and start DtD! Oh dear I make it sound like a chore don't I ! Everyone and their sister seem to be pregnant at the moment, we've had no less than 4 announcements in just this past week.

DH also seems to be becoming less and less keen to try quite so hard. He keeps saying well if it's meant to be and other vague phrases. I don't think he quite understands my yearning. I'm not sure I'm quite over my most recent MC, at the time I swallowed my feelings back down and for various reasons just had to get in with life but just recently I've been feeling so so sad about it and keep thinking how far along I'd be and how we'd be started to get organised now for the new arrival in January.

I'm sorry to read of those of you who have chemicals and those new who are joining us. It just sucks.
Keeping my fingers crossed for those of you with bfps, however faint they were. alb really hope this is a sticky one for you and all goes well this time. That is so annoying about the blood tests and just typical sometimes.

Gosh I'm sorry this is so long! to anyone who reads this far!

Hi ladies so sad news I went to the doctors today, but last night I had a little red blood and mucus when I wiped. She looked inside and said she can see more coming down the neck of my womb so it is a probable miscarriage. Another one to the exact day of gestation I got to last time in July (8+3). No period in between. Currently crouched on the floor in pain waiting for the horrendous bleeding and clots to come. Why me. I'm sorry to be like this I just don't understand what I have done to deserve this. X

I'm so sorry Haz. I can completely understand how unfair this seems, because it is. No one deserves it.

I hope you feel like you can come here and vent. No apologies or censorship needed. It's utterly shit.

Here whenever you need an ear. Be kind to yourself. X

Thank you so much Say. I find so much comfort in these boards because people on here actually understand. All the well meaning words from my sister who had two easy, complication free pregnancies or my sweet dad saying if I just relax it will be fine. They are so clueless but you know they just don't know what to say. The only one who understands my utter horror and fear is my DP. He was with me throughout the last one cleaning me up, and was also unprepared for how bad and dramatic the bleeding was. We are both steeling ourselves for it now. He has even offered to sleep in the bath with me if I feel like it will be better than soaking towels in bed. Such a sweetheart. Makes me all the more sad and angry that my stupid body can't hold on to his babies :( xxx

haz I am so sorry. There are no words really. You don't deserve this. None of us do and I'm so sorry you have to go through this again.

Your DH sounds like such a lovely person, I am glad you have him to support you through this. I am thinking of you xx

Haz I'm so sorry you are going through this again, you don't deserve this at all, try not to blame yourself though. Sounds like your DH is being amazing in what is such a difficult time for you both.

I agree these boards are invaluable for support, I don't think people understand unless they too have been through the heartbreak, i really wish it was as easy as relaxing and it all being fine but it's not, it's shit and it's impossible to relax when you've been through so much.

Hope you managed to get some sleep and aren't in too much pain. Thinking of you.

Oh Haz I'm so sorry. Have you been referred for a scan to check? It is all so shit.

Hi ladies - thank you for all the welcomes to the Board and the advice.

Am so sorry to hear that you are going through this again Haz. xx

I am so sorry Haz. Are you goign to try and coolect the products from this one for testing? It si really unfair and I keep wondering why I am being punished. Which I sort of know is silly, but it feels quite personal. I come from a large and very fertile family, why am I different.

That is a shame Little. You DH is probably grieving too and worrying about it happening again. My DH 'tries to be strong' for my sake without realising that it is better to go through ti together and be able to move on as a result.

Thank you everyone, your kind words have reduced me to tears.
Brenna I am the same, big family with few problems, although my brother and SIL have been trying for 2 years and were just starting fertility tests, but how good is this timing? He phoned me last night and I could tell he was at a loss at how to tell me. They are expecting and had a healthy first scan yesterday morning just as I text them to say I was losing this one. I am so, so happy for them but seriously what is up with that timing. Such a kick in the gut. We are very close and he had to tell me.
I'm still waiting for it to kick off. OH has gone to work (he's a self employed plumber) so has said he will come home as soon as anything starts. I feel bad keeping him away from work while I sit here waiting for the bleeding to start. It's still just bloody mucus, it is almost like ovulation mucus which is so different to my last miscarriage? Has anyone experienced that before?
emily I have a scan tomorrow morning, after they confirm the miscarriage I will be told options. I am praying now that the miscarriage doesn't properly kick in til after then so I can just have it surgically taken out, the natural way last time was just bloody traumatising.
My dear sister who has two perfect children offered to surrogate for us. She loved being pregnant and said she will happily do it for us. I hate being pregnant it just makes me panic! I seriously will consider it if I have a third miscarriage xx

Oh Haz I'm so sorry to hear your news. I'm glad your DP is being supportive, he sounds like a good 'un. My MC started as bloody mucus which want on for about 36 hours before the bleeding kicked in properly

haz no helpful words, I'm just so sorry to hear your news and that's such a lovely offer from your sister. Sounds like you have some lovely support around you

Just popped on to say haz I'm thinking of you xx

Oh Haz I'm so sorry for you, very sad news, had been feeling positive for you too! I understand all the emotions, anybody who has been through this will...just seems so bloody unfair.i found the second time easier in the sense I knew what to expect but harder that it was the second time and I could not believe this was happening again. Glad your getting good support from your DH and that's lovely of your sis to offer that. Hope it all passes quickly for you, the not knowing is very frustrating.

Haz Sorry to hear about your second MC, I also lost both of mine at the exact same gestation, DH reckons it might point to specific genetic issues causing developmental issues with a certain part of the body which kicks in at the same time each time? I don't know if that's how it works though, we are computer people, not medical types.

Both of mine were quite different in terms of mucous, cramping etc but I was earlier on than you. I wonder if you ask for surgical management if they'd do it anyway if that's what you prefer? Do take care of yourself x

Just received a copy of It Starts With The Egg by Rebecca Fett. Anybody read it?

Hope you're holding up OK today Haz

Thank you everyone, lovely support on here is very much appreciated!
bertie that thing about the specific genetic issues sounds very interesting!
insufficiently I have been looking at that book on Amazon and deciding whether to purchase! Let me know what it's like :)

So yesterday I passed a lot of stretchy bloody mucus and then had a clot and a big solid piece of white tissue fall out yesterday afternoon. It hasn't been any where near as painful or bloody as last time so I have been so scared waiting for it to kick off and when I went for a scan at EPU this morning I went from stiff silence to hysterical, but as soon as they told me there was nothing left in there I felt this overwhelming weight and relief lift off me that has been squatting down on me since my first miscarriage in July. I felt so relieved afterwards. They've taken bloods and will call me this afternoon with results, but she checked my ovaries and womb and said she can't see any tissue or scarring and she thinks there is nothing in there causing my miscarriages so I just feel a lot more hopeful for the future.

I am going to stick around this board to see how you all get on but I am going to have a rest from TTC and thinking about being pregnant etc for a good few months because I have spent most of 2016 pregnant and it has been physically and emotionally exhausting! Time to draw a line under what has happened and just hope for the future.
It is so shit that this happens and that's all I kept saying to the gynae, I can't believe this has happened to me, but it does happen and I guess all you can do is dust yourself off and move forward. Xx

That makes sense Haz, and I'm glad you're feeling a bit better.

The genetic thing with us is because DH knows he has a balanced translocation, it's quite common, but most people don't know if they have it or not. His was picked up at birth because his parents had a miscarriage before and after him, and there was family history of infertility. It can come through the male or female line and most often causes either miscarriage or failure to conceive because it's basically an error in the genetic code that the body can't cope with so it rejects the developing foetus. The test for this is known as a karyotype and it's a simple blood test, might be worth asking? They might only do it if you have family history or have had three miscarriages, though.