TTC after miscarriage thread #6

[jodiebee664]

New thread for all navigating the bewildering world of trying to conceive after a miscarriage. Whether you have dc or are ttc your first, all are welcome here. We share the positive, the negative and the down right confusing.

Here's link to previous thread...www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2657346-TTC-after-miscarriage-thread-5?noti=1#62460035

I hope that you don't need a D&C Bertie. I didn't want one either and have been relived not to need any help up until now. I hope you are the same.

Haz I wouldn't unless the Dr recommends it.

Welcome Highhopes so sorry you have joined our club. It sucks, but the company is good.

Hi Luf. So sorry you are here too. I waited one cycle after my MMC as I was still cramping and felt wrong the first cycle there. The others I haven't bothered waiting as I felt like my body was fine and ready to go again. Listen to your body - 1 cycle wait won't harm if it needs more time to heal, if it doesn't need the time then do what makes you feel better.

Hello ladies, just after a little advice. This was my first pregnancy and I'm nearly 40.

Two weeks ago I found out at a routine 10wk scan I'd suffered a MMC a day or so before, I had no idea. I had an ERPC the next day hoping it'd be quick and the least upsetting option, I had no bleeding until a couple of days after. I then got bad pains and have just finished a course of antibiotics frim my GP.

I called the ward today as my bleeding is very unpredictable, I've had 2 lots of really bad flooding in the last few days and every 12 hours or so I get pains then pass what I thoguht were clots. The nurse explained it sounds like I'm still passing tissue as it can't have all been removed. I'm getting a strong postive HPT test too. If anything painful/dramatic happens I have contact them again, if not and I get a negative test in 7 days I should be clear.

I desperately want to be well so I can think about TTC again, I had no idea the surgical option would drag on so long and I'm finding the symptoms upsetting. The nurse said I could expect another 3 weeks of bleeding and up to 9 weeks before my period returns.

Does anyone have any advice to speed things up or help? What sort of time scales has anyone had in a similar position? I'm trying to look after myself and taking iron and vit b supliments as I'm knackered and driving myself slight nuts

Thanks all

Hi Monkey. Sorry you are here. I didn't have an EPRC, so can't really comment on the recovery from that. For my first I had spotting between 7 and 8 weeks and a scan at 7 and 8 weeks as a result. Both had a healthy heartbeat. Everything settled down and then more spotting at 10 weeks. Back in for a scan and no heartbeat and baby hadn't grown since the last scan. He or she probably died just after it. I decided against intervention and started cramping and bleeding properly at 11+3. I had heavy cramps and bleeding for 5 days, then more like a medium period for another 2 weeks, minus the cramps. No flooding during that time though. Apparently I went into a normal cycle at day 6 as soon as the cramps vanished as I ovulated at cd 19 (normally cd 14 to 17 for me but I was counting from the fist day of miscarriage) and I got a normal period at cd35 (normally between cd29 and 32, 15 days after ovulation). I didn't do an HPT until 2 weeks after the miscarriage started. By that point it was negative. My others have been a lot earlier (at about 5 weeks) and even faster. I hope yours settles shortly.

I don't really have any advice for hurrying it on. I don't think you can do much other than hope.

Hi Monkey, I had an ERPC but continued to bleed heavily and had stomach cramps for a few days after which the EPU advised could be retained tissue. It took me 4 weeks to get a negative test and 8 weeks later I still haven't had a period.
All I can say is that the time has gone so fast, Try and keep yourself occupied whilst your body takes the time it needs to recover and then you can start thinking about TTC again.

I'm so sorry to all who are here. Highhopes I think I recognise you from the Feb 2017 board :( so sorry to find you here. Sending baby dust to everyone. I'm still cramping and aching and just waiting for AF. Will give it another week and if it still hasn't come may call the doc. I miscarried 17th of July but bled until 8th of August albeit lightly after the initial flood and D&C! Such a shitty experience however it goes X

Yes I was on that thread Haz :( If we manage to get lucky anytime soon I don't think I will be joining any pregnancy threads cause it was horrible explaining why I had to leave.

I know what you mean HighHopes. I was on the November 2017 thread and I just keep thinking about where I should be by now and I am reminded every time I see the thread pop up in Active conversations

I think this time I will wait until a successful 12-week scan (I can barely imagine getting even to that point!) before joining the relevant thread.

On a positive note, today is my OTD (official test date) for this cycle at 15dpo and I seem to very much have a BFP. AF should be due today so I'll feel happy if I get to the end of the day with no spotting. The hospital have given me an appointment for next Thursday to start treating my APS (blood clotting issues) so I'm trying to be optimistic that this pregnancy could work. I have to say I don't feel excited or celebratory about my BFP at all - I suppose that's the price of having experienced a MC.

Wishing everyone here good luck and buckets of perseverance

Oops, that would have been a very long pregnancy Obviously I meant November 2016!

Hi everyone.
Had an early mc at the beginning of August.
I was abroad and got some medical advice there,am back now and have an appointmemt to see my GP on Monday.
I didn't get any advice about waiting a cycle before trying again. DH and I have resumed sex as I was feeling up to it and bleeding had stopped a week prior.
Hoping GP does not tell me off for this!
Crossing my fingers that everyone of us is successful in the near future.

Ineed that is brilliant news! everything crossed for success for you.

Hi Moo. So sorry you are here.

Congratulations INeed - I understand you don't want to celebrate just yet, It's sad how suffering a miscarriage takes all the excitement away from getting a BFP. I think I will be the same if and when it happens.

Great news ineed!

Tentative congratulations here too ineed let's hope you get closely monitored and all the help you need for a healthy pregnancy. In spite of all the facts and everyone saying to you the odds are in your favour, the bottom line is you just don't have a way of knowing if your next pregnancy will go well. That sort of innocent magic in pregnancy is sort of lost when you have a miscarriage and it feels unimaginable to be happy. I am scared to do another test or go back to the hospital I am just going to give it a few weeks I think and just see what happens. I don't want to know either way! highhopes I totally agree I'm not joining any of those boards if I fall again! missmoo I'm sorry for your loss :( I say if you feel ok go for it! A friend of mine fell two weeks after she lost a baby at ten weeks! And gave birth in June with no complications. I couldn't bear to go back to contraception. I am worried it will make another loss doubly hard but then I think that is one more loss closer to treatment and tests from the docs so the sooner I get that out of the way the better x

Fingers crossed ineed sending positive thoughts.

My bleeding stopped at the weekend, had blood tests done and my levels are very low. They just want me to take a pg test next week to make sure it's negative.

moo if you are going to get told off so am I we resumed sex after I had stopped bleeding a couple of days. We are keen to TTC as soon as possible.

I've been off mn for a few days so just trying to catch up, hey highhopes sorry to see you still havnt got AF that's really crap you're still waiting. I won't be joining the due date threads til later on this time either, I think it also gave me extra stress anyway as I was comparing all my symptoms etc against everyone else and worrying about this and that.

luf I would wait until you get af again, even if it is just because of dates unless you're tracking ov. It might cause unnecessary stress if you had an early scan or something and baby was smaller than you thought but just because you couldn't be sure on dates if that makes sense? I know how you feel about just wanting to be pregnant again though, we're all here and know how it feels.

newshoes I can guess how you feel, mc definately takes away the excitement of pregnancy.. I know when it happens again for me I will just be so scared but congrats are definately in order anyway! I so hope this one sticks for you and good luck with next week.

Morning all, I've got terrible stomach cramps this morning so kind of hoping AF is on her way!
Randomly POAS this morning as I haven't done one for a few weeks but was obviously a BFN :(
Just waiting for my docs appointment on 12/09 to discuss pcos diagnosis so hopefully I can talk about the next steps.

I totally agree moonlight it gives you extra stress comparing what you're going through with everyone else on the due date boards. Won't join til much later if at all next time.

Hope everyone is doing ok today, at least it's Friday!! X

Morning All,

I'm gutted to read about everyone's stories this morning. I hop on and off every week, but never know if what I have to say would make a difference. I am thinking of you all ... and hoping we all end up with BFPs soon!

INeed - I am keeping my toes and fingers all crossed for you.
Big hugs

HighHopes - I know how you feel, or at least I know what it is to wait for your AF for a while. I had a D&C at the start of May after I had an MMC (anembryonic pregnancy @ 12wks) and it took me 6 weeks to get my period after the initial bleeding. My cycle has only just now begun to regulate some (holding breath as I'm waiting for it to arrive on Monday).

I had to constantly remind myself that my body just needed rest and time to recoup. Patience is a virtue I was born without and continue to ignore the meaning of

My thoughts are with all of you ...

I always hide the antenatal clubs section from my active - partly so I don't see "my" old threads but also partly just because there are so many and they tend to be active and even when I am pregnant, 99% of them are irrelevant to me! So I just hide the whole section and then when I join a thread it comes up in I'm On but never Active.

My bleeding seems to have stopped today which I'm happy about, it's been less than a week, but still feeling quite crampy and sore. DH snuggled up to me in bed this morning but I don't feel like having sex yet. Do you know how long it's advised to wait? I can't remember from last time now. I will have an examination on Tuesday or Wednesday and get second HCG results then too. Perhaps I can ask then! I know they want me to wait until I've had a period to TTC but I can't find any medical reason for that. I will wait until HCG is at 0 but that's probably it for me.

Quick Question Ladies:

Anyone tried acupuncture with a fertility acupuncturist??

I've booked a session for tomorrow for 60 minutes. I've been reading obsessively about the best ways one can re-balance the body and help with fertility in less invasive manners and acupuncture keeps coming up. I thought I'd ask if anyone has tried it??

I love in SW London and it seems like a very common practice, though I'm only discovering it now.

Any comments??

Thanks x

BertieBotts

I think the decision to try after an MMC/MC is totally personal, unless you've been told by a medic otherwise, obviously.

If you feel ready then go for it.

I had an MMC at 8.5 weeks prior to my DD. I didn't wait and I fell pregnant 6 weeks after my D&C. I allowed for the initial bleeding to happen after my D&C procedure, but felt so emotional about it all and desperately wanted a baby, so my DH followed my lead.

My DD is 18 months old now and I've found myself in similar and different situation where conceiving right after hasn't been as straightforward as last time. Delayed AF and all and I think my hormonal balance is all off kilter. I'm kind of an emotional wreck inside, but my DH has been amazing and last cycle I "ran him into the ground" in wanting to get pregnant again. No luck unfortunately.

I do have to say ... go with what you want. You know your body, heart and soul. Listen to it all and make your decision at your pace. Your DH will follow your lead

Big hugs ...

I just feel pragmatic about it. We have a higher chance of miscarriage which adds a lot of time to our TTC. So why would we want to waste more time by waiting unnecessarily?

I'm not fertile yet so I'm not particularly wanting to TTC yet but wondering about sex and infection and stuff because I don't want to get ill. I do remember it being a bit uncomfortable initially last time but feeling very close to DH and wanting to get into it.

It doesn't help that towards the end of my pregnancy I felt really really horny but refused to have sex or an orgasm in case it caused contractions/spotting

Ideal "next time" would be December, but let's wait and see.

DH is also like "We're going to have to start trying for #3 immediately after having a baby!" I did inform him that it may take a while for periods to return especially when breastfeeding. He does have form for worrying about things which are impossibly far off.

mrsamelia I have had three sessions of acupuncture and certainly feel less obsessive about it all at the moment. I really did feel lightheaded the first time and kind of overwhelmed and I swear I ovulated about two days after my first session. I too bled for weeks after D and C (only light brown spotting for two of those weeks) but it still reminded me I probably shouldn't be trying but I still was oops. Just felt desperate to be pregnant again. The acupuncture has made me feel a lot calmer I think. I have bitten my nails my whole life and at 27 thought I would never stop but it has been 8 days now :D I can't help but feel that the acupuncture has helped and made me less nervous/stressed...I would give it a go. It feels weirdly nice I always feel a bit woozy after though so maybe take someone with you xx

Although mrsamelia when I went this week I took OH as he kept saying its mumbojumbo and I wanted to prove to him that this lady knew what she's talking about...well for the first time this week she decided to go full mumbojumbo on me and held a stub of this incense type stuff over my big toe. 🙈 OH just sat there looking smugly at me lol. I believe it's helping though and I think it's that belief that matters xx

bertie fingers crossed it happens for you when you'd like it to. I can totally relate to your DH I am one of those incessant, think-ahead worriers of scenarios that could never happen!