TTC after miscarriage thread #6

[jodiebee664]

New thread for all navigating the bewildering world of trying to conceive after a miscarriage. Whether you have dc or are ttc your first, all are welcome here. We share the positive, the negative and the down right confusing.

Here's link to previous thread...www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2657346-TTC-after-miscarriage-thread-5?noti=1#62460035

Congrats Bertie – great news!
New shoes – good luck with the next IUI, when do you find out? (Sorry I’m not v clued up on how IUI works) sorry you had another chemical!
Haz – sounds a bit like what I had post MC, a bit of light bleeding that I didn’t know if it was AF or not which then stopped before a proper AF a few weeks later. I hope the acupuncture works for you and gets things back on track, this was the primary reason for me having it as it took so long after my first mc!
Emily – welcome but sorry to hear about you’re mc’s, hope you find some comfort in this thread, great you’ve been able to get a follow up appointment with the docs, I’ll try for one if not successful this cycle.
Brenna – sorry you didn’t get to dtd much this time. I just don’t discuss fertile days with my OH as I don’t want him to feel under any pressure (or him feel like I only want to dtd for that reason!) good luck for next month.
Littlepooch - hi, sorry you find yourself back here but glad this type of thread helped you before, hopefully it won't be so long for you next time!
Hi to all the other new ladies on here I’ve missed, I really do hope you find some comfort in this thread, I certainly have and recently there have been a lot of regular posters (who’ve had one of more mc’s) who’ve had BFP’s which should be very reassuring for us all. Our day will come and we’ll all have our lovely little babies to love. Like somebody said above, we’ll appreciate it so much more when it happens.

Hi Little. I am glad you have been blessed with your DD. So sorry you are going back through this again though. I hope the next one is the lucky one for you.

Thank you for your welcome FX, jbee and brenna. Hopefully we will all have some luck soon.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend. This 2 ww lark is hard but am keeping busy and trying not to think about it!

Hello all. Hope it's ok if I join. I had surgery for an ectopic pregnancy in May this year (first pregnancy) I had to wait 3 months to try again and physically everything has not returned to exactly normal yet but hoping to start trying again soon and thought I'd pop my head in. I know my fertility is reduced now and my chances of having another ectopic are increased so not sure it will be an easy road.

Sorry to hear people are having a hard time but it's nice to have the support of other people who understand.

Welcome flash and to the others who've joined over the last few days that iv missed. Had a busy few weeks so not been on much.

CD13 here, should be ovulating tomorrow but negative OPKs and no signs of ovulation so not feeling very hopeful again at the minute, but you never no!

Are any of the recent bfp ladies still lurking around? I'd love to here how your all doing, might peek into the pregnancy thread later to have a look

Hi flash I'm here too I remember you from the gay old days of TTC - the early threads. Back when the TWW was the hardest thing ever, or squinting at OPKs for strong lines . Sorry to see you here, and to hear about your ectopic.
Yes, your chances are affected, but you are still on the good side of the odds, so focus on that. And any time you start to forget, you hop on here and we will remind you.

Hi and welcome Flash. So sorry you are here. That sounds pretty traumatic.

Skip this month I am in the 6 week wait due to DH being a bit stressed about a SA during my last fertile wekk. Never again will I complain about a 2ww.

On the plus side thanks to some little blue pills we DTD last night (and then again this morning minus the pills as he got his confidence back) so it looks like this weeks SA will take place (still more pills for wednesday morning if required). AF due wednesday or thursday so by next week we should be well in the swing of another month.

Hi flash welcome. Sorry to hear about your ectopic. My friend had an ectopic and lost a tube and went on the conceive her DS 5 months after. He is a little bruiser and just lovely. So fx it happens for you soon when you are ready to try.

Hope you ov soon alb I seemed to ov late this month, I guess our cycles can be a bit confused post MCs. I had all the ov symptoms but nothing on opks until a few days after the symptoms vanished.

Yay to DTD brenna, hopefully that stands you in good stead for next month. 6 week wait though - imagine if it were 6 weeks every month!

Hey all,
Welcome flash sorry to hear about your ectopic, hope you can get back on track soon! I had acupuncture to help my periods get back on track after 2nd mc (as it took a while after the 1st one!)
Brenna glad things are looking up (excuse the pun ;)) for you guys too...a 6 week wait must have been tough!
Alb hope you get to ov soon!

My 2ww is over today with a BFN - i feel devastated as I was really hoping this would be the month after the acupuncture, strong ovulation and managing to dtd around then - thought it would really help after the enws of my DSIS being pg! I've taken action and booked a docs appointment so will push for some action after the 2 miscarriages!

Ah jbee sorry for the bfn. How many dpo are you? I hope the doctor will be able to help.

Sorry abou teh bfn Jbee. We are only 2 weeks into the 6 weeks though. Loooonnnnggggg way to go yet.

Hello everyone, can I join? Have had a read through and am sorry to hear everyone's stories, lovely to see some BFPs too tho.

Stats: TTC #1, trying 18 months, 1 mmc @ 8 weeks October 2015, 2nd mmc @ 12 weeks scan April 2016 (all fine at 8 week early scan).

Have kind of avoided these forums a bit as have been trying not to think about it but stupidly got my hopes up this month, all ready to test this morn (1 day before due on) and had come on over night. Having a bit of a woe is me morning really, I'm just fed up of not being pregnant.

This thread has inspired me to try some acupuncture though, and to spend the next 4 weeks focussing on health/fitness to take mind off it a bit!

Hi pickled sounds like you have had a rough time. Give yourself a break - thats how I try to see AF - like its 5 days of feeling a bit sorry for myself, having a glass of red, resetting and getting my head straight, maybe trying a new class or go for a massage and then ready to go again! Acupuncture and fitness are great ways to shift your focus for sure - let us know how you get on.

jbee sorry love :( onwards and upwards

Brenna look at it this way - you've got 4 sweet weeks of stress free dtd practice runs :)

Welcome to the thread to the newcomers since I last posted. Sorry that you're on this thread with us

Alb my OPKs and symptoms went from 0 to 100 very suddenly this cycle. On CD12 I was seeing barely any line on the OPK and had no mucus whatsoever then on CD13 I got a positive and a sudden appearance of EWCM. So don't give up hope!

Sorry jbee about your BFN. The TWW and testing just seem so much more emotionally loaded after a MC.

I'm 6dpo after my IUI and have made a promise to myself not to test until 12dpo. I nearly drove myself potty last month testing from 8dpo and squinting for lines

Sorry about the bfn jbee and good luck at the doctors, it's a shame this stuff always takes so much pushing but I hope they listen too you.

brenna 6 weeks sounds like torture!

So ovulation should be today, iv run out of OPKs tho so can't check again which is probably a good thing. We dtd all through my cycle (apart from af) every day or every other day without fail anyway so I don't no why I keep adding to the stress with OPKs! But iv ordered the clear blue duel hormone thing for next month to give me some clearer answers.

ineed I'm keeping my finger crossed for you. Try and resist as long as possible though!

Hello everyone :( my mc was 5 weeks ago, I was due 6th March. A friend has just announced her pregnancy on Facebook complete with scan picture. Cue melt down.... she put she's due beginning of March. I would have just had my scan and be announcing it too. Obviously it's good for her and she wants to tell the world but it's completely devasted me and I feel just awful now :'(. Just need to tell someone....

Hello all, just tentitively plonking myself here with a hope of glimpsing some light at the end of the tunnel.

I had a MMC Wednesday last week and had the surgical procedure thursday. I was having a quick scan before a Harmony test, I had no physical indications of any problems but woke up that morning utterly inconsolable and was near hysterical before the scan. Lovely doctor said 'let's get you scanned right now and find that heartbeat'. I was 10+3, baby was 10+ but completely still with no heart beat. It was truely the most upsetting thing I've ever seen. I'm 39, 40 in October and this was my first pregnancy. I'm being deafened by my biological clock ticking. DH and I felt so blessed and shocked as we only started to try at the end of April.

Currently on anti b's as bleeding and pain really ramped up yesterday, I was feeling more postive today but for some completely stupid reason (and home alone for the first time) I've just read the last few days of the 'Due March 2017' thread. Its killed me all over again. I am an idiot.

All I want is to be physically better so I can try again. My 12 week scan was supposed to be this Friday.

Feeling very sad today but I know, thanks to MN, it's not just me alone. so sending love to everyone else here.

Hi Moonlight and Monkey. So sorry you are here.

Moonlight my SIL was due just slightly before me, plus 3 other friends. All now delivered of healthy babies while I plod on. It is really hard to deal with, but it does get easier in some ways. I don't think it slaps you around the face quite the same way, you just feel more quietly bitter with each announcement, rather than feeling punched in the guts.

Monkey I feel your pain, my first loss was a MMC found at 10+1. I am 38 (was 37 at the time) and it was just such a shock when all seemed to be going quite well - we had already seen a good heartbeat at 6+6 and again at 7+6. I didn't finally miscarry Rowan until 11+3. My body did not want to give up. My 12 weeks scan was on the 10th anniversary of Dad's death. I thought that might make a hard day easier for the whole family. Luckily none of them knew the scan was due then (although they did know I was pregnant). So only I had to sit through a real double whammy of a day.

Morning all.

Had a difficult evening yesterday. DH came home and had to tell me that one of his really good friend's wives is expecting twins. Their due date? What mine should have been. I'm so happy for them but, but, but....It will forever be a reminder. I'm dreading it already. I know over time it will get easier, my friends little boy was born on the due date of my second MC and I am learning to deal with it as he is such s lovely little boy he puts a smile on my face but oh god. This is hard sometimes. I will send her a congratulatory text later as they are a lovely couple.

moonlight I think most of us have been through what you are going through - I know I have. I think it does get a bit easier over time (or maybe we just learn to accept it), but for now if you want to cry, get angry, whatever then that's ok. It's s difficult time right now,

monkey sorry you've been through all that. I too discovered no heart beat at 10 weeks but didn't have my ERPC until 13 weeks for various reasons. That was at the beginning of July and I'm only just starting to feel like myself again - it floored me. Be kind to yourself and take things slowly. It will all be so raw right now. I think after a MC you feel even more pressure to conceive again quickly but if you need time to heal then that's ok. The fact you got pregnant quickly is a good sign hopefully that it will happen again for you when you are ready to try.

littlepooch monkey brenna and everyone else having a shitty day - not much I can say other than I'm sorry you're struggling. It will get more bearable in time, for now you just have to hold your head high and be strong xx

Hi All ...

I've not been on at all since one singular post back in July. TTC after an MMC is just frustrating.

I was just reading some of the threads I've missed and saw Moonlight, MonkeyPoozzled76 & Littlepooch ... I raise my glass to you Ladies. I sympathise and 110% feel you... Announcements of others' impending babies (especially those near your previous due dates) are gut wrenching and nothing can make us feel better, but to console one another that at some point we will have babies firmly and safely planted and growing in our bellies - and soon.

My MMC in May was my second one (I fell pregnant immediately & successfully with my DD after my first MMC in 2014)... but this MMC felt different in some manner. I'm finding it hard to accept that TTC this time around is taking longer and seems more elusive than last time. I'm feeling more and more frustrated and saddened every single time I continue to hear or read about friends or acquaintances impending baby news too.

I agree with INeedNewShoes - this round of TTC 2WW, after an MMC, is an emotionally loaded period and leaves me feeling the gamut of emotions, but we will all succeed soon... I think FXSix has it right ... we should all pamper ourselves when the double line doesn't appear after the 2WW - join a class, exercise, eat healthy, get a massage... do something new that takes our minds off this process (even minimally) and do something that is good for us ...

It's ok though. We all know that at least we CAN get pregnant - and this has to be something we remember and console (celebrate & be thankful) ourselves with. At least we are able to get pregnant, which unfortunately it appears many many ladies can't even get to ... (my SIL recently ended her 4 years of trying IVF because her body couldn't take the beating the hormones were giving her and she is left with no child...)

I wish you all lots of sticky baby dust and successful TTC moments :) We need to remember to enjoy this process too ... making our babies should be memorable ...

I thank you all for your posts, stories, everyday "chats" and overall support ... I'm a lurker and this group makes me smile, cry and hope every single day ... xxx [flower] Thank you!

Lovely positive words Amelia thank you!
Welcome to other new ladies here but sorry for what you've gone through.
I can totally understand that horrible torn feeling (of wanting to be happy but the horrible jealousy feeling and sadness for yourself) with all the new announcements. I've got it very close to home with my own DSIS at the moment!
Following the arrival of my AF, I went to the docs today to ask for a referral for post mc tests, he was very unempathetic to say the least and said how I should wait till I'd had 3 as I'd 'only' had 2. I pushed through tears for a referral and he reluctantly said he would write a letter but they may still say no!
I just keep telling myself I am lucky we can conceive, I am lucky I have an amazing DP who wants to etc...I have some friends who are single and late 30s / early 40s and they've not even got the chance to try (newshoes they're not as brave as you in going alone to do it)

jbee sorry the doctor wasn't more helpful, I don't understand how they can say only 2 like its nothing, it may be a statistic to them but they are our babies and each one matters. Hopefully the referral comes through for you though.

Sorry everyone's having a difficult few days

amelia what a lovely post. Thank you

jbee well done for pushing for the referral. It's often hard to be assertive in those situations so good one you. Hope the referral comes through soon and it's not too long to wait.

My cat is getting my hopes up! She is normally an independent sort but is super clingy at the moment. She only ever did this when I've been pregnant before. If she's correct again I may hire her out as a pregnancy test lol.

jbee you never know. After a little bit of pestering my GP agreed to refer me to fertility clinic even though I've only had 2 miscarriages and I've got my first appointment next week. The GP who did the referral was very good and understanding so always worth trying a different doctor in the practice if you're not getting anywhere with one.