TTC after miscarriage thread #4

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

Hello ladies. I noticed the last thread filled up, seemed to happen all of a sudden! Hoping you find your way here (prepares for tumbleweed)

For reference here's thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2593041-TTC-after-miscarriage-lucky-thread-number-3

All those we are trying to conceive a child after miscarriage are welcome here, whether it's your first or you already have DC

Good luck ladies. Let's have some BFPs, we've earned it

Hi everyone hope you're all ok.

Welcome to all the new people here and sorry for your losses.

Alltalk congrats on the bfp!

I went for my massage earlier, it was lovely but painful. Having fibro I forgot that heat is not really the best thing with having hypa sensitivity to temperature so I could only manage 10 mins but she gave me a different massage for the further 20 mins I could stand. I picked the kids up from school and we went back and had our nails done. It was really nice but since having the massage, sorry tmi but I can't stop farting! DH has put up a wind break its that bad! Obviously had the right, relaxing effect but unfortunately not on the muscles.

I have no signs of ovulation or anything else right now, no pains, no cm, no temp dip/spike, nothing. Opk's are still gone, haven't been tempted at all to buy any more.

Good luck to anyone in their tww or approaching the fertile window. Hoping the spring sun brings more than just budding flowers xx

Congrats alltalk what fantastic news. Wishing you all the best for your pregnancy

Amy that sounds like a lovely day! Really relaxing...

I feel like I'm always asking for the same advice but I was wondering if someone can help with my temping chart. It's the first time I've done it and just need some help interpreting. I think next month I'm just going to quit all this checking it makes me more anxious!!

Hope everyone has a good day in the sunshine!

I'd love to help jpeg but have no idea about temping. V sorry. Hope someone else can help.

amy that sounds gorgeous, not the wind, the massage! Hope you are less windy today! What CD are you on?

The weather is so beautiful! I'm sat in our garden having a (decaf) coffee and it's already v warm! Better get a tan to compensate for the lack of rose spritzers and pub gardens that I'd normally be consuming in this weather!

Hope everyone has lovely days!

Anyone got any news? Unusual symptoms?

Xx

How can Ovia suggest you test on Friday if you are 3dpo? I find Ovia so confusing. I am on CD21 and I think I ovulated last Friday so that's 8 dpo. I can test on Thursday I think. I feel ok thanks Jpeg. So hard not to get hooked into symptom spotting but definitely got increasing amounts of CM and feel tired like I've got a hangover. My boobs are big too & im very bloated. Definitely not getting in a bikini today! It would be pornographic and not attractive!! I had very similar symptoms last month apart from the CM and nothing happened so I must must prevent getting hopeful and then to see it all fall apart when AF shows up.

What can you do today jpeg to help you relax? You must listen to your friend. Can you go for a swim or a massage or something? Xx

Pulling inside could be implanting? Really hope it's not a cyst.

Xx

Kate & Mrs the wind has stopped now! I'm cd9 now having the tiniest amount of cm today, it's egg white but literally the tiniest bit.

Mrs I had the same feeling in my right side last cycle, felt to me like pressure and when I pressed it was quite tender. Felt a bit like trapped gas.

JPEG I don't like ovia, it's really unclear and doesn't draw you any lines or tell you if you've ovulated. I deleted it and moved on to fertility friend instead. Looking at your temps though, at the min it doesn't show you've ovulated clearly but judging by your temp starting to rise and if it continues to rise it normally indicates ovulation for the day before the initial temp rise.

My chart is up and down this month but I think the weather change has caused that. My temp is higher than it normally is for the beginning of my cycle. I'm just waiting for the shift. I normally have a really big temp dip before I ov, with the weather I don't think that's going to happen this cycle but we'll see.

Ok thanks Amy I think I'll move over to fertility friend. Just now I noticed ewcm, or what I think it is, for the first time. I'll just keep dtd as much as possible! Last night I just didn't have the energy and my boyfriend is out all day today playing cricket... He better have some energy left when he gets back!

That sounds scary Smiling. I'm glad you have a plan for this time.

Today should be Rowan's due date.

JPEG. That looks like you haven't ovulated yet to me.

Oh Brenna I'm so sorry. I had that pain 2 weeks ago. It's awful. Have you got people to comfort you? Look after yourself. It will happen for us all soon xx

Kindest thoughts are with you brenna be compassionate with yourself and do whatever helps you today

jpeg I'd say it's too early to interpret your chart. You're looking for a temp rise of at least .2 sustained across at least 3 days and then staying up after that until either your period or BFP. I'd see that on mine at the end of the fertile window, with ovulation happening on the last day of it, and a rise after that. I have Ovia but treat whatever it says with a big pinch of salt. Because Ovia now has both my pregnancies and MCs on it I feel I want to keep it going. Fertility friend sounds good but I think I have enough obsessing going on as I am.

Oh brenna . Thinking of you.

Missed dtd last couple of days due to tiredness and drunkenness but i'm not ovulating yet anyway. The days sort of feel like theyre dragging and slipping by at the same time at the moment. Dragging because i'm so keen for (preferably) ov or period, but slipping by because every day is another day i'm not pregnant! I know it's ridiculously impatient.

Seem to be getting never ending slippery cm, but never seems to reach ewcm. Consequently the apps are telling me i'm fertile every day..... Opks say different though.

Off to the theatre tonight which will be lovely and spent the day stripping wallpaper so keeping busy and distracted!

Good luck to all of you and hope you are enjoying this weekend.

Thinking of you brenna

Oh brenna thinking of you on what must have been such a hard day.

I've been in the garden all day being very productive which has been great as haven't thought too much about TTC! I've now downloaded fertility friend and I'll give that a go. Thanks for all the advice everyone.

5tardusty hope you have a lovely time at the theatre.

Just catching up. So sorry Brenna :( mine is fast approaching too and before I was desperate to get pregnant before that but now I just feel a sadness full stop. Especially seeing my two very close friends yesterday for the first time - one was due two weeks before me and the other two weeks after. Since it's my first it would've been so nice To go through it all together.

I tested a couple of days ago (twice) and definite bfn. AF due tomorrow and can feel it on its way!

Working on my cv today to try and focus on getting a new job or at least put my existing employer in a position where they consider matching a higher salary. Ive always known I've been underpaid but finally feel like I've got the motivation to do something about it. I think I mentioned a few days ago they've told me I'm on track for promotion in Jan which I've been aware of for a while but now they actually want me to run my team as a lot of work is coming our way and managers are moving away to look after the new stuff. it's left me in a tricky situation as to whether I should hold off TTC - don't want to be worked very hard just to forego promotion because I'm forced to announce pregnancy (if I fall quickly). Jan is a while away yet.

Morning everyone...

Cheeky it sounds great that you have something to focus on and you sound really motivated! I'm in the same situation in terms of job and I've decided to just keep going with the work promotion etc as if I do get pregnant that will have to come first, and if I don't I won't want to regret not going forward at work. It's a hard decision though.

I've decided I hate OPKs! I have now had almost a week of flashing smileys on clearblue and have also used the cheap ones and haven't got a positive once. The lines never seem to get darker. I'm going to stop using them! Pretty sure this month is one where I haven't ovulated. It's cd17 and I used to ovulate around cd12. Now I guess it's a waiting game.

Least the sun is shining

cheeky sounds like you're in a tough position with emotional pulls in different directions. I can relate to where you're coming from. My take is the one definite is that life won't stand still while we TTC and opportunities will come up. I'm trying to live my life in a way I'll be doing what's right for me based on the info I had when deciding. I can't be sure just now when I'll fall again, or how many times I'll fall before I get a tenacious bean to hang on in there, or whether or not I'll need medical help to make that happen. So I'm still going about work as if I'm not TTC, it helps me to have something constructive to focus on that I can influence, since I can't control TTC outcomes. If you did fall before jan, what would happen with work, would you still be ok for mat pay? When would you need to tell them under company policy? Even if you are preg then but not too many months in might you be able to have the promotion without disclosing pregnancy?

Thanks for the replies ladies, I do feel like I'm being pulled in different directions at the moment.

If I was to fall pregnant next month (AF is due tomorrow and I'm out this month) then I would be due in around Feb time. They announce promotions at the end of Jan. I would still get maternity pay as I'm in a permanent job. Although we would manage financially we wouldn't be able to save really. It's a few issues at hand here - a) I know my salary is lower than market rate and that's increasingly getting on my nerves now as I know people less experienced are being paid more b) lots of work coming our way and I know they need me and they will totally over work me albeit with the view that I will be promoted come Jan c) could be put at risk by announcing pregnancy before Jan (I don't think I could hide it beyond 4 months although legally I don't think you need to tell them until later) and salary increase with promotion probably still won't bring me into line with market rate.

So my plan is to work on my cv, get it to some agencies, look for jobs and apply. If I get an offer somewhere then hopefully I can get my current employer to match it (which I think they will now that they really need me (not because I'm special, but because I'm more experienced). That would be the best outcome overall as I do enjoy my work, it's just the salary thing that's annoying, more out of principle than me being grabby.

I think that sounds like a great plan. I agree that you shouldn't put life on hold or stop your career for wanting a baby - it makes me so mad that we have to make so many sacrifices for wanting a family. There are laws around discrimination, and your employer cannot renege on a job offer if they discover you are pregnant. It's illegal. The bigger thing to consider is how the increased workload at your current place will effect your body and conception chances. Also a payrise or at least knowing you are being paid fairly will do wonders for your happiness and stress levels. These things have a habit of eating away at you I find...so working on your CV and talking to other people is a great idea I think.

The sun is gorgeous today!! I've also hatched a new plan. I've decided that if we don't get pg this cycle I'm going to talk to my consultant about IVF because I have this strong sense that my eggs as they are just aren't up for getting pregnant and I may need some help. I'm going to talk to my DH about it this morning xx