TTC after miscarriage thread #4

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

Hello ladies. I noticed the last thread filled up, seemed to happen all of a sudden! Hoping you find your way here (prepares for tumbleweed)

For reference here's thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2593041-TTC-after-miscarriage-lucky-thread-number-3

All those we are trying to conceive a child after miscarriage are welcome here, whether it's your first or you already have DC

Good luck ladies. Let's have some BFPs, we've earned it

DH is on board. We will have to take out a loan but that's ok. It would be worth it. I'm going to book an appointment with my consultant for next week and talk it through. At least it gives me something to focus on rather than obsessing about my current symptoms or lack of.

Thinking of you Brenna

Thanks so much ladies. Still don't believe it and am caught between thinking positively and risking a broken heart again, or being cynical and expecting the worst. Decided yesterday to go for the former. Gulp.

Good advice from Lucky, good luck Cheeky.

Masses of good luck to you all ladies, I think you're all fabulous xx

Thanks Mrs... Yes I've got low AMH - before we started TTC they said we'd find it impossible to conceive naturally but we did twice very quickly. However although my own doctor has never said this directly, I've read that AMH can also increase the risk of MC too so I guess that's why I've miscarried.

I have just lost faith in my own body tbh. The thought of keeping going month after month and not getting anywhere except getting older... Or worse getting pg then miscarrying is too much to bear. I want to take proactive steps and take control. If IVF is a way to do that then great...

How are you? How is everyone else today? Have you all got the sunshine?! Xx

Thanks for your inputs Mrs and hopeful. I'm glad I'm not going mad!

Don't feel like I can talk to DH at the moment. It's not him, it's me. Since our tiff a few weeks ago (when I had a rant about his family), things haven't been the same. I just cannot be bothered with him at the moment. Enjoying the space I'm having to myself and the clear headspace.

I'm glad your DH is board hopeful, it helps to be on the same page. Wishing you all the best of luck with everything.

Hi all hope you're all ok...

Brenna thinking of you

I agree with what everyone is saying about careers and babies. When I fell pregnant with dd1 I was in the middle of studying for my degree. I had also started a part time placement. I had to tell everyone as soon as I found out for health and safety reasons as my job can be risky at times. I took 6 months out and went back part time and continued with my studies. I qualified when I was 4 months pregnant with dd2 and started a new job which I left when I had dd2. I started this job when my youngest was 2 1/2 and went in guns blazing full time and got a promotion then dropped my hours from 42 to 30. I was reading about maternity pay, I'm sure you have to be in your job for 26 weeks before you qualify for maternity pay if it's a new position and they're not allowed to discriminate against you if you're going for promotion and are pregnant, they also cannot take that position off you if you fall pregnant after. I found getting in touch with a union a big help with information also CAB are great if you're not part of a union.
I'm in a dilemma also as the maternity package where I am at the minute isn't great. 6 months full pay then nothing, I know though if I ask my manager she will pay me half pay for 12 months so I can spend time at home with a new baby.

I had a massive temp dip this morning which I was expecting with this beaut weather. Have a lot of cm, dtd last night don't think it's DH's I think it's mine (different colour to sperm). I'm only cd10, according to FF I ov'd on cd13 last cycle. Will see what my temps do in the next few days but I am wishing I had just one opk to check the strength of the lines! Determined not to buy any more

Ah makes sense Amy. I need to chill out. I'm only 26 yet. The purpose of applying for a new job would be to try get my current employer to salary match. I don't think I would actually want to move really. Trying to keep options open though.

I agree with what every one has said about work... After my MC part of my job was advertised without asking me. They clearly did it because they thought I was going to get pregnant and leave them in the lurch. Had to get unions involved etc and still don't know the outcome but they cannot discriminate against us for wanting a family!

The sun is amazing today! I'm currently reading in the sunshine while my Bf and his brother put our new bbq together! My temps have been pretty much the same for 4 days... Hoping for a late dip... Or thinking this month is a write off!!

I can't believe that Jpeg about your work! That's shocking!! What area do you work in? I really hope you sort that out!!!

Remember when I said I was gonna avoid symptom spotting.... Well, scrap that, does anyone have any advice on what CM should look like if you have conceived? After ovulation mine went creamy and then sometimes cottage cheesy (gross, sorry!!) for a week. And now, which is 8 or 9dpo it's gone more watery, still creamy but not as much and just v damp and watery. Does this suggest that my estrogen levels are rising and therefore AF is on its way? I'm due on Friday so 5 days away from my fate basically. Anyone got an insight?! The last two times I fell pregnant I wasn't clued up about CM etc so have no idea. All I can say is that I've had more creamy Cm this cycle than any of the previous three but it's concerned me that it's gone watery. Boobs are big but not sore, get v tired but I do with my period, bloated but do with my period. CONFUSED. Xx

I think lots of CM is a good sign Kate? Not 100% sure though. When will you be testing?

I'm a teacher and had taken extra responsibility for a year which I was assured would continue if I was doing a good job, which I was! Then I come back after a week off for the MC and on the Thursday the advert went up without anyone even talking to me. Unions say I have a good case but because I still want to work there I'm not going to bring a case against them, they say they are now discussing the possibility of a different job for me on the same money... They are scared!!

Thank god you are in teaching with strong unions! They should be scared. It's not only illegal it's awful management!! Let me know what happens? Bloody hell...

I will test on Tuesday I think as them I'll be 11/12dpo and it should show up on a FRER. If I was a betting woman though I'd put money on the fact I'm out. Tonight I'm going to email my consultant for an appt to get the ball rolling on alternatives. Xx

Good luck... You never know! Sounds like you have a good plan if not so that's good. Hope your consultant can get things moving quickly for you.

Interesting reading about all your careers. My current job is also education but i currently have an hour's commute each way, which is both tiring and expensive. I like my job but i would live to work somewhere nearer my home town, particularly if we do have children so that I can hopefully not be completely disengaged from their school.

I applied for a job i fancied earlier this year, and found out i hadn't got it a few days before my bfp. I saw it as a positive as i wouldn't want to start a new job pregnant, and piss off the boss straight away. I decided that i would stick where i was until i was finished having children, then try and move jobs, maybe even to part time somewhere.

Not sure what to do now though. Commute still is a pain in the arse, baby or no baby, but not sure i want to risk moving jobs when i might lose out on maternity pay and time.

Am I right in thinking that you can't get maternity unless you have worked somewhere for 26 weeks? But then doesn't that mean you could be 12 weeks pregnant upon starting the new job and if you worked until the due date then you could start your maternity then? Or am I completely misunderstanding this..

Cheeky yes I think that's right. My friend had a new job and found out she was 6 weeks pregnant 4 weeks into the job. She's starting her maternity leave in a couple of weeks. Also one of the other rgn's who works for our nursing home was 13 weeks pregnant (apparently she didn't know) when she started with us and is currently on her maternity leave.

I think I'm definitely out this month. AF is on her way I can feel it. Straight to the consultant we go! Hopefully we can get this moving quickly.

Hope everyone else is ok. Xx

Good luck Cheeky. I hope your employers pull their socks up.

Best of luck if you do decide to get interventions Kate (and quietly hoping that this turns out to be your month and you don't need them).

Lots of CM can be a good sign.

Thanks for the good thoughts. I decided to make this weekend a slightly early celebration of our marriage and the babies we have loved and not managed to bring into this world. We had a bottle of champagne left over from the wedding and I will be in the TWW by our wedding anniversary so I decided to open it this weekend, get some nice new undies and cook lots of lovely food. It was slightly bittersweet at times but we had a great weekend (and a lot of sex just for the fun of it).

Hi everyone hope you all had a good weekend.

kate I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

AF has finally finished so ttc starts now, I'm immensely nervous and the thought of being pregnant again terrifies me

Ah Brenna that sounds lovely. I can imagine it was bittersweet but it must have been the perfect way to cement you guys together. There is a bright future ahead I'm sure. Thinking of you.

I'm on my way to work & the minute I'm in the office I'm going to email my consultant. These cramps are just too noticeably AF and I need revived hope that life is going to turn out ok.

Lots of hope and magic to you all!! Xx

Smiling the thought is terrifying but there is absolutely no reason why your next pregnancy will be nothing but brilliant. Keep the faith! Xx

Brenna sounds like you've had a lovely weekend despite the date

Mrs no spotting is a really good sign! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

This morning I've got loads of cm and I mean panty liner soaking amounts of cm! Dtd last night, temp went back up to normal level this morning no significant rise, not checked my cervix and don't want to do an opk today so all good. Going to dtd today and tomorrow and see what my temps do. Feeling relaxed and happy at the min. DH even commented that I am in a much better frame of mind and not so moody, he likes the fact there's not a piss pot in the bathroom cupboard too and a shelf free with no sticks in there