TTC after miscarriage thread #4

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

Hello ladies. I noticed the last thread filled up, seemed to happen all of a sudden! Hoping you find your way here (prepares for tumbleweed)

For reference here's thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2593041-TTC-after-miscarriage-lucky-thread-number-3

All those we are trying to conceive a child after miscarriage are welcome here, whether it's your first or you already have DC

Good luck ladies. Let's have some BFPs, we've earned it

Hi. Can I join? I've been lurking on this thread for a little while but have decided to de-lurk to respond to Bertie

I'm ttc via IUI at a clinic using donor sperm (I'm single). I have had two attempts and got pregnant on both cycles but the first cycle I had a chemical pregnancy and the second I recently miscarried at 11 weeks

Everyone has their own approach to testing. For me, early testing seems useful. We gain information from it. If we test early and get a BFP, we know that the sperm met the egg successfully and that the egg implanted and that we started to produce HCG. We then know that up to this point in the process our bodies are doing what they're supposed to: the sperm is up to the job, we have ovulated successfully, our cervical mucus is good quality, and our HCG has kicked in.

For me it's reassuring to know that I'm fertile up to this point and can then start looking at what might be happening after this point that is causing me to miscarry.

Because of this, and the fact that I have no self-discipline whatsoever I know that I will continue to test early every cycle.

I do accept though that we add to our own personal rollercoaster by testing early though and for some people the disappointment of an early BFP followed by a negative might be too much to bear.

And the problem with early testing is that if the test comes up negative you tell yourself 'well, it's probably just too early' and if it comes up positive it may well not stay positive for more than a couple of days because so many pregnancies seem to end as soon as they've started.

I'm really glad that I early-tested on my first cycle because it is now in my medical records that I had a chemical pregnancy which is technically an early miscarriage. This means that I've had two miscarriages. If I have another miscarriage then I'll be referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic and maybe will be able to do something about it.

Welcome newshoes. Lovely to have you here. I am very sorry to hear about the miscarriages. When are you going to try again? Sorry if that is insensitive to ask when we have only just met!

Mrs I can totally understand why you want to take the pressure of TTC. Please don't give up though. Give your body and your mind a rest, but don't lose hope. I know it must be endlessly frustrating to have the spotting but surely a consultant can sort that out? Sending you tons of love and thoughts.

It is a real bugger this whole trying to get pregnant thing, and over the past year of trying it has given me some of the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life, and at times as you know, I have wanted to give up. But I have figured out that I don't want to reach 45 and look back on these precious years and think I didn't give myself the best shot of having a family.

Maybe you just need a break. I think that sounds like what you are suggesting anyway, but I just wanted to extend a huge arm of understanding and sympathy but also lots of support if you need it. We are all here, and in the same boat, and if you need us, just say.

My MC seems to be coming to an end thankfully. The bleeding is now pinky and no clots so I am hoping it is on the mend. I am going to pop to town later to get a pregnancy test and test tomorrow. It may still be too early but my levels started dropping last Saturday so they should be pretty low by now?

Purple how are you lovely lady?? How is your nan?

Brenna I forgot to say how gorgeous that dress looked that you sent! I can see why you got the comments!

We had some very sad new yesterday. My dear cat Bear who I adopted from the RSPCA seven years ago (who had feline Aids & was the most precious sweet character, almost like a dog) ate a lilly in the garden which poisoned him and we had to have him put down. The vet said he would only have a 1% chance of survival and so it was the kindest thing to do. His little sister Karen is so confused at where he has gone. It breaks my heart.

So a note of caution, if you have cats, keep them away from lilies! They are deadly. Poor soul. Sleep well precious Bear, and say hello to all our gorgeous babies who are up there.

xxx

Hi again, iv been lurking all week but as my post-birth bleeding stopped a week ago I thought I'd start posting as I guess we are technically ttc now, although I'm not expecting at all to get a bfp this month so iv just started doing opk's to get use to them and figure out best time of day to test so that once iv had a period I can use them properly hopefully.

hopeful I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, that's awful, I have 3 cats myself and I have a huge bunch of flowers that have been sent as a present from my work colleagues sitting in my kitchen that's full of lilies, I'd heard they were poisonous to cats but didn't realise it was that bad, in going to go and pick out all the lillies now.

Hello alb and welcome. Sorry for your miscarriage. I hope that you find this thread as supportive as I have.

bertie i'm with you all the way on the stats - i love them! I wish i was this methodical for all areas of my life!

Hi everyone, not been around recently but have caught up on the thread and it seems a lot are having trouble at the min.

Hello to everyone joining us, so sorry you find yourselves here but all the ladies are so supportive and give great advice.

Mrs sorry you're struggling at the min. I really hope you find some resolve whether it be medical or just taking some time for yourself.

I'm cd12 now and have no sign of ovulation apart from some ewcm today. Last cycle I ov'd cd13 but I don't think I will this time. Me and DH haven't dtd for a few days we've both been wiped out with work but have a few days off now.
I'm taking dd's over to see my grandparents tomorrow. My grandad has just been diagnosed with skin cancer as well as heart failure, feel really upset and wondering when all of this bad luck will end. It's literally been one thing after another since November last year. It's wearing me thin!

Kate so sorry about your cat, poor soul RIP!

Amy I'm so sorry to hear about your grandad. Hope he is ok today.

We really do need some luck on this thread. It just seems like everyone is getting so battered by life.

We are off to a falconry centre to fly some wild birds today. Got a picnic and the sun is out so hoping to knock the blue out of my embrassingly pale skin!!

Have lovely days all. And sending you lots of love Mrs if you are still reading. We are here for you. Xxx

And welcome alb!!! Glad to hear you are ready to start trying. Have your hormones gone to normal yet do you know?

Wise move on the flowers. It pains me everytime I think about it. Poor poor Bear. What a way to go. Rest well precious. Xx

I think so kate got a negative pregnancy test this morning and the opks are getting slightly darker which is hopefully a good sign!

We get the test results back for our stillborn daughter tomorrow which I'm quite nervous about but atleast we will get to put a plan in place tomorrow for any future pregnancys to make sure I get any extra care needed.

amy I'm so sorry to hear about your grandad, I hope today hasn't been too bad for you

Alb welcome but sorry to see you on here - that must have been a very awful experience - sending you love!

Kate so sorry to hear about your cat, poor little thing, RIP

Bertie I'm with you on the testing..i think it's too hard not to when it's your body and you want to understand what's happening. I got my BFP last Mon and have done 3 tests since...all positive luckily but my DH thinks I'm bonkers keep doing them!

welcome new shoes also - great point you make about testing!

Well AF got me today, was getting a little hopeful as usual, but then got the kick in the teeth. Cue a little cry on the sofa and wondering what if it'll ever happen. And of course on a Sunday so couldn't go in and get my day 1 bloods. Anyone know if day 2 is ok or should I aim to at least catch my 7 days pre AF one and get the day 1 blood next month? This is twice in a row I couldn't go to the docs because AF got me either out of the country or on a weekend and I'm not minded to keep waiting :(

So sorry about your cat Kate, we had 3 which we flew out to Australia when we moved there for a few years and 1 was sadly hit by a car whilst we were living there, so only two made it back to the UK with us. Always a painful loss.

And Mrs, thinking of you, whether you're reading or not, hope a break does you good, sometimes it just does get too much.

Hope everyone is enjoying the lovely weather, despite our somewhat drought of BFPs here, I spent a bit of time with book and a cider in the garden today to recover some perspective and positivity and the Vitamin D is doing its work I think (and the cider, if AF is gonna come she'd better bring along the drinks...).

Nitnat sorry af got you

We had a lovely day at my grandparents, enjoyed watching people skydiving and running up and down the meadow with my dd's. My grandad is surprisingly well considering. He went off roading with my girls in his mobility scooter down to the end of the meadow and almost blew the thing up. Was lovely watching them have some bonding time and the weather and views were beaut. It was lovely relaxing talking to my grandma, soaking up the sun.

I hope everyone is ok and had enjoyed the nice weather today.

Oh shit I am so sorry nimnat. Next month. Join me in making this month our month!! Fancy it?! By the time my hormones are down, we should ovulate at the same time! Well maybe....

From tomorrow, I am starting a massive fertility push. No coffee, booze, lots of sex, lots of good food, walking every day to the station...
I have been naughty weekend but tomorrow I am going to be saint-like.

Amy v pleased your grandad is ok. Sounds like a very peaceful weekend together.

xx

Oh Mrs. I totally understand. I hope you do stay with us and chat but I get it. I'd feed you a lot of cake if you were closer.

I am so sorry Kate. That is so sad. I hope your other cat settles soon. Thank you, I really love the dress.

How is your Nan doing Purple?

Bertie I am with Newshoes. I don't test until the day after I am due at the earliest, but I do want to know if I am having early miscarriages as well as the more info we have the better.

Welcome Newhsoes and Alb. I hope you get news that helps you move forward today Alb.

Sorry the witch got you Nitnat

I am struggling with not trying this month. I don't really know what to do with myself. I have loads to do but I just feel kind of lacking in purpose. I went sailing yesterday. I had a great day out, lots of fun with my pal and his daughter but I got bakc and felt really sad that we may never have family days out and get to teach our kids our hobbies and skills. On well. 1 month to holiday. I had a good cry before bed last night.

Hello everyone ... I hope you don't mind me joining? (Albeit late in the thread).

I'm so sorry for all your losses .

MrsUnsure, I know we haven't chatted on here before but I really feel for you and know the value of a long break; it's done me some mental good and I hope it helps you too, whatever the long term outcome.

Right now we're trying again after a 7 month break, following 18+ months in which we had 4 MCs (three so soon they were practically chemicals, one a bit more advanced).

We're about to be in the 2 week wait again and I'd (almost) forgotten what this felt like.

I was looking at a newbie thread and thinking wow, two years ago that was me. It's strange how time goes by so fast and yet so slowly isn't it?

Hi everyone, welcome to the new people and so sorry for your losses.

Mrs - really feel for you. I'm a bit like you - decided to not put life on hold anymore. I'll still keep posting though and keep a rough eye on AF due date etc. I won't be testing until AF is absent though and I've never really tracked ovulation or temps anyway. It's just a matter of dtd as often as we can and getting through the month.

Just back from a nice break and straight into work today. Had booked tomorrow off for my midwife appt! But I'll just take the day to chill..bitter sweet.

My gran is better thanks for asking.l! I've not been to visit her yet but will do that tomorrow. My mum tells me she is definitely on the mend.

It's so warm I feel my skin is sweating. Do you think it's hormone related as well? Might put a nice facemask on.

Hope everyone is well xx

Hello Ladies,

I would like to join, as well!
Feeling a bit down after my second MC. At least this one was early 5+4, first one was 11+6 and it took me 3 months to recover.
I've been getting pregnant easily both times, not tracking really, but those babies just don't seem to want to stay with me and I'm more determined now.
I'm 32.
Hope we can stay positive together xx

Welcome Justine, Merdie, and Alb (and any other new comers I might have missed, have some catching up to do).

I've started using Evening Primrose Oil for my period pains but interesting to read about it potentially being useful for conception so I'm keeping on it until day 14.

Really don't know where I am or what's going on any more so I've given up trying to figure it out. AF has now finished although after it's late and weird start it then went AWOL for a day and came back again so no idea what this cycle will be like. Have to get my thyroid tested again this month. Was planning on seeing GP once I have results to start the process of figuring out what's going on now that it's been a year but, and I know this is ridiculous, I'm scared of finding out that something is wrong with me! I know I could equally find out that there is nothing wrong and it's just taking a while, or that the problem is something easily fixable but being a fatalist I've convinced myself they'll find something terribly wrong and it'll all be my fault because I made a bad choice years ago or something. I know, I know, ridiculous. That's anxiety for you

Thank you for the welcome caffeinated, and I can relate a bit - anxiety's such a pain isn't it?

I'm having a really long episode of food issues where I can't swallow stuff easily if I've never had it before (I get weirdly worried about being allergic, which happened maybe twice, years ago!)

Last night I finally managed to make myself swallow the vitamin D which was prescribed in March!

Insane and probably need help but seems the least of my worries right now. I'm just saying I know full well how long it can take to make yourself do something when you don't want to, but best advice is just to brace yourself and do it and scream inside the whole time!

So do call them and book, if there is an issue you can work on it fast; otherwise you'll just be mentally beating yourself up anyway and thinking "was it something I did?" (Doubtful btw).

Hi everyone, hope everyone's having a good day.

I'm in the do I try this month or next month limbo.
Had 2 chemicals in December & January then a 5/6 week miscarriage in March.
GP has done all her tests with normal results & seeing consultant in August.
Taking all the vitamins, plus aspirin daily & lowered caffeine/no alcohol.

Just not sure if to do another "normal" month or try again.

My DS was so easy & it's confusing now why second pregnancy is so hard.

INeedNewShoes thank you for your response! I think DH is still finding it harder than I realised. His best friend and my best friend got together last year and have just had a surprise baby who is now three months old and the most gorgeous perfect adorable baby I've ever seen except my own! So he finds it hard that every time he plays games with his friend he can hear the baby in the background. I was finding it hard seeing my friend's pictures on facebook but was able to just avoid it for a bit and I feel okay with it now.

Anyway it's funny - we were talking about the games and I said I felt like every step of conception for us is like levelling up! We got to level 1 - first pregnancy test - then level 2 - stronger pregnancy test - and level 3 - blood test, etc. I did feel very much like that last time, like it was a wait and see if we get past this milestone kind of thing.

Just heard a friend (who happens to be my second cousin) is pregnant. She had health issues at roughly the same time as me and although we hadn't talked about children I assumed she would be waiting till her health was a bit better. However she is 6 months gone and it's just hit me a bit. Hopefully our time will come soon!!!

Thanks for the welcome to the thread

Can anyone direct me to useful information about what dose of vitamins to take for TTC?

I can't take Pregnacare or similar because they contain ingredients (like soya) that I'm allergic to, so I've been taking Folic Acid, Vitamin D, Vitamin C and Vitamin E separately.

But I suspect I might be taking too high a dose of C, D and E. Is it possible to have too much!?

And are there any other key vitamins I should be taking in light of having miscarried a couple of times?

I'm really silly in that I get caught up in that it needs to happen ASAP but really in the grand scheme of things, I'm 26 and it doesn't really make the a difference if it takes a bit longer to happen. I cause myself loads of stress by thinking like this

Hello purple - just wanted to offer you a virtual hug. It's so hard with every pregnancy announcement I hear, even with people I love and am very happy for, I end up in tears for a bit in private and just have to ride it out. and a

The one thing I hope this long journey will offer me is greater patience with the child or children we one day might look after. If it had happened on cycle 1 I might never have learned this kind of patience, it's definitely been the hard way of doing it.

I think you definitely have loads and loads of time ahead of you, although it's definitely hard to think of it that way - try to relish it if you can and use it to learn everything you can and do everything you want to. Seriously, it'll make you a better mummy for when the time comes!