TTC after miscarriage thread #4

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

Hello ladies. I noticed the last thread filled up, seemed to happen all of a sudden! Hoping you find your way here (prepares for tumbleweed)

For reference here's thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2593041-TTC-after-miscarriage-lucky-thread-number-3

All those we are trying to conceive a child after miscarriage are welcome here, whether it's your first or you already have DC

Good luck ladies. Let's have some BFPs, we've earned it

Oh Mimi. I know The Fear. I hope this is The One for you. xxx

Good luck for tomorrow Mimi! Everything crossed for you.

Aw miMi fingers crossed. Good luck for tomorrow.

Just had my bloods again - hopefully back to zero levels now. Will get a call this afternoon

The lady was really nice today. I asked again whether she thought there was a common theme between my miscarriages as the lady the other day had said there might be (which wasn't v reassuring for next time) and she said she didn't think so. She also said the stats were for having a successful pregnancy after two miscarriages. I asked about the consultant appt I had in the post and she is going to check why I was referred and try and keep it if it hasn't been cancelled already. As for trying again she said they often see ladies who haven't had a period in between miscarriage and next pregnancy and all is fine. On that note I've decided not to go back to contraception. Even though we probably won't actively 'try' we won't prevent either.

Hi cheeky

In the info I got after having my mc, the leaflet said they recommended waiting for next cycle (so they could date pregnancy) but there was a high chance of conceiving straight after one (I think they add this as a warning in case people don't realise that) I suppose it's similar to there being a high chance to conceive straight after having a baby.

good luck, everything crossed for you that it happens soon.

I'm in 2ww but just trying not to think about it!!

x

Thanks Brenna, Bertie and Cheeky, unfortunately it looks like I may have posted too soon. The dreaded brown spotting has arrived 🙁. Will test tomorrow anyway but worried that I either got excited over an evap line or I've had another chemical pregnancy. Why can't this ttc business be as easy as other people make it look?

sorry to hear that Mimi I hope it isn't

hard not to get excited when it's something you want so much! i got excited last month when af was a day late!

Aww mimi. No words really

Really really sorry mimi but keeping my fingers crossed for you. Xxx

I've never had an evap line before and I'm fairly certain it appeared before the 5 min deadline so I'm opting for head in the sand PMA approach! I also have no idea how early I tested as not tracking OV and it's my 3rd post-mc cycle so things are still a bit all over the place; WFT cycle was 49 days, then 28, I'd guessed this one might be the same but pre-mc was 30-31, so who knows.

I have one Superdrug 4 days early test to use which shall duly be peed Upton tomorrow with fmu, fx it's a winner!

On the other hand, if anyone has experienced evap line with the Superdrug 4 day early years, feel free to burst my bubble.

Brown spotting isn't necessarily a bad sign. But I know the fear. Hand hold!

It could be implantation mimi?

The Hosp phoned and said the HCG is down to 16 which is not quite zero so they will check me again next Friday. Hopefully the last time!

Can your body be getting ready to ovulate when there is still hormone? Ie could I still ovulate in about two weeks?

Evening girls

Just catching up now... How are you all?

Mimi best of luck for your next test. I'll have my fingers crossed for you!

Brenna have an amazing weekend! Sounds gorgeous. And can I just say your DH sounds like such a great man! He seems to say just the right thing and sounds v sweet. Bless him. Am I right?!

Cheeky how are you?? I imagine it is actually quite comforting for your levels to be going down quickly. From what I have read you can ovulate as soon as your levels gets under 5, so it could be soon time to get on that love train!! I do admire your strength. This next time is your time, I just know it.

I am still in limbo. My consultant doesn't want me to stop my medication until my scan next Friday so have to keep on jabbing myself with needles and stuffing up pessaries for another 7 days. I know the game is over. My boobs have dropped down to size and my moods are v erratic - in pregnancy I go super calm and zen. I just want it to resolve and so I can get on with my life and stop f*cking checking my knickers every single minute. Mind the language.

xx

Sorry to hear your still in limbo hopeful. It's just so hard to 'move on' or accept it when your in this waiting period. You sound like your coping well though and not a nervous wreck like I have been. Just remember it's not over till it's over. Still every hope, I'm praying for you!

I can't really be assed going for bloods again next week. I was so tempted not to go today but glad I did now as I thought my levels would've dropped enough and today was going to be pointless but apparently not. Mentally I feel 'OK' but physically I'm not sleeping or eating properly and I know it's all building up in my subconscious. It's not good. Sooner or later I'm going to come crashing down. I need to stop holding it together. I just don't know how to though.

Just went out with DH for a munch at nandos and then to watch the jungle book. Just on the way home now. The film was really good; I had a little cry to myself during it. Snapped at DH a few times as well which sort of spoilt the evening. I feel bad for him I don't know whether I'm coming or going?

What's everyone up to on the bank holiday weekend? We should've been baby shopping this holiday, getting ready for arrival in July.

cheeky sounds like you are keeping yourself busy... I honestly don't know how you do it, you are so strong! I didn't even want to speak for like a week! Make sure you find a way to let it all out, have you ever seen a therapist? I have one for ptsd after a car accident but when I had the MC it was really useful to just talk about it with someone who doesn't know me and will listen etc.

kate I'm sorry your in limbo... I hope you get some answers soon, and fingers x it's a positive outcome!

I'm 12dpo today, temped dropped for third day and got a BFN on a FRER so I'm out! Really disappointed. When we got pg with the MC it happened in the second month, but I was so much more relaxed. I really don't know how to not think about it 24/7!!
We are off to Italy tomorrow so now I can have a glass of wine or ten... But af will get me in the next couple of days, not exactly what I want on holiday!!!

Thanks jpeg, have a great time in Italy, I could murder a holiday right now..just difficult to get away with mil in hospital. Sorry you think AF is on her way!

Morning ladies, mind if I have a moan? I'm really not feeling good today. Supposed to be going to pick up the car from the hire place so we can go on our weekend away but I would rather stay in bed. Feel so teary & emotional. I feel like my own body is gas lighting me. No idea what is going on and I just think it's never going to happen for me. My brother has a baby he doesn't even want, my sister can get pregnant through just thinking about babies & I can't no matter how much sex I have at the right time.

Sorry for the burst of negativity. Hope you all have lovely long weekends

IC sorry your having a tough time , I know the frustration of how easy ttc comes to some people. Hope you manage to enjoy your weekend away (I'm sure it'll be more fun than staying in bed).

Kate the uncertainty of early pregnancy is the worst, I'm here for hand holding.

Bertie thanks for the offer of hand holding, I think I may need a lot more over the next two months!

So I took another test this morning with fmu and a stop watch so I could be sure it wasn't an evap line. And I got a BFP! I would like to say I'm over the moon and all that but this is my 4th pregnancy in 2 years, so I'm cautious to say the least.

Aw insufficiently it's so difficult isn't it. I know it doesn't help
But I try and think of people in worse situations to me. I know someone who didn't conceive for 9 years and there were no issues identified so she just waited and waited and now they have a beautiful baby. She had so much strength. I saw a guy crossing the road yesterday, clearly had something wrong with his legs and it made me feel so sad, some people are born with conditions that make it impossible to have a family. They never go through this up and down roller coaster but they cant even dream. Ordered a takeaway the other day and the guy didn't have a hand. It was so difficult for him to open the delivery bag so as soon as I realised I quickly stepped in and he was so grateful. I was sobbing after I closed the door. Especially when DH said the guy was probably just grateful to have a job, albeit a delivery driver.

Not sure if that helps but it's these kinds of things that help me put it into perspective.

I'm so pleased for you mimi!

IC sorry you're feeling like this.... It's so so hard isn't it. I have been in tears this morning and then I think why am I crying when there are so many people out there worse off than me. We will get our BFPs eventually but I know how unfair it is that people get pregnant when they don't want or deserve to! Make sure you do go on that weekend away and try to have a lovely relaxing time!!!

Hiya, just wondering if I can join you? I probably won't post much to start with as we arnt actively TTC this month, but arnt preventing either, but iv been doing abit of lurking this last few days so wanted to introduce myself.

We had a MMC around 8-9weeks in 2013, then a lovely DS in 2014 who is now 20 months, and then my daughter was stillborn a month ago at 35 weeks. We want to try again as soon as possible, obviously not to replace our baby, we just feel we want to get started sooner rather than later. Only just stopped bleeding from after birth this last few days, and I'm not sure I'm ready to DTD yet (had stitches) so we're expecting it to take a few cycles at the very least.

I found these threads really useful when TTC and pregnant with DS having ladies to talk to that understand the worries, but didn't use them as much with DD as I felt more confident but now I'm back to square one with all the worry about what will happen sorry for the very long first post!
It's lovely to see some BFPs here too, congratulations mimi

Welcome Alb1 and I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I don't really know what to say, what a truly awful experience you have had an what a strong person you are for picking yourself up and trying again.

Just treated myself to a pre holiday pedicure and bikini wax [ouch!] af has ever so slowly started to show her face, slight bit of spotting, just in time for holiday! Feeling better after my cry this morning, more dtd this month, boyfriend said he is up for every other day [of course he is] it's me that will struggle that much but needs must

Also... Congrats mimi

Welcome Alb1 I echo jpeg I am so sorry for your loss.

I don't want to bring you down when you have only just arrived Al cos this is normally a very positive thread (!) but I had my worst fears confirmed today.

My HCG is going down (I knew it was this morning as my tummy was suddenly flatter), and so a MC is imminent. I am trying to see the positives - we were only 6 weeks and we knew from the start it was doomed - but it is incredibly incredibly painful.

I am so glad I have the bank holiday to recover before work again. I am angry beyond words and feel so cheated and frightened about what is round the corner. But the crying and throwing shampoo bottles at the wall doesn't seem to be helping so I need to find some strength from somewhere.

I am hoping that I will start bleeding in the next few days and so I should be done by next weekend, but who knows if that will happen. All I know is that if we do try again, the no OPKs and sex every day method seemed to help so I am hoping that may work again. I am not sure if I even want to try again. I think my eggs may be done tbh. My consultant won't say that but I think they are. But while i am still ovulating it feels stupid to not try. BUT then is there more heartache in store as those pregnancies would never be viable.

God knows. But thanks for all your support and kindness over the past few weeks of this nightmare. When I rejoin you I will be positive and strong again. I promise.

Happy bank holiday all xxx

Oh kate I'm so sorry... I had everything crossed for you and really hoped for a positive ending. I hope the MC happens as quick as it possibly can and I hope you are well looked after. Throwing shampoo bottles sounds like a good start to get all the anger and upset out. It's so important that we don't keep it all in. I'll be thinking of you, get lots of rest and don't work if you need to be at home, recover for as long as you need.

Oh hopeful. I echo jpegs message. That's so very sad and frustrating. I hope it doesn't drag on for you and now that you know for sure, you can begin to deal with it properly. Being in limbo was very hard as well. Take it easy and spoil yourself.

We were invited to a wedding this evening but really didn't feel up to going. Have sent DH on his own now. It's his friends brothers. I just could not be bothered with putting a smiley face on, let alone getting ready. He wanted me to go but I just couldn't face it. I said a couple of horrible things to him. I know I'm hurting and taking it out on him isn't helping but what can I do. I was up this morning when the cleaner came but literally been sleeping since 11am. Body really needed it. So I'm just going to continue to stay in bed (might get up and have a shower though) and order a takeaway. The story of my life at the moment.