TTC after miscarriage thread #4

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

Hello ladies. I noticed the last thread filled up, seemed to happen all of a sudden! Hoping you find your way here (prepares for tumbleweed)

For reference here's thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2593041-TTC-after-miscarriage-lucky-thread-number-3

All those we are trying to conceive a child after miscarriage are welcome here, whether it's your first or you already have DC

Good luck ladies. Let's have some BFPs, we've earned it

Cheeky DH works away a lot so we decided that missing a cycle would make me even more stressed. I took the tablets to instigate the mc so I was quite stressed out about retained products but I relaxed hugely once I got a bfn on the 16th May and then my body started to seem like it wanted to ovulate. Also when my temp finally went down to below 36.4 so I could see that temp wise my body also was trying to play ball.
So we haven't been super dtd or anything, just haven't been intervening to stop conception if that makes sense.
Go with how you feel.
ic I suppose it could be implantation. Last time I didn't have bleeding at that point (at every other stage but not during tww). I did have a temp dip last time at 9dpo which I read up on and thought reflected implantation. If it is I will take it as a good sign that it is a different symptom. Although my sister has already warned me to not symptom compare/ hunt as it just makes you mental.

Oh also your dp is only trying to protect yourself and himself from the trauma of it all, but of course you have to test before you are a week late. How does he expect you to be able to do ANYTHING without knowing one way or the other.
I shouldn't but am getting excited for you. Hope the witch stays away and it goes well when you decide to test.

Hope it's implantation miami!!!

I am 10dpo... I have now been cramping every day since ov. I'm also sooooo moody and up and down. Last night I had a go at my bf for no reason... Temp massively dipped today too... Guess the witch is on her way!!!

It's not that DP is trying to protect me, I can handle a bfn and that's the expected result. He's just far more practical than me and doesn't see the point in spending money on testing every day which is a fair point but I'm not going to fret less with a late AF and not knowing either way than I would fret with a late AF and a bfn, it's all just as frustrating! I am going to keep it to every other day rather than every day so I'm going to throw myself in to work this morning to try to distract myself from going to Superdrug until this afternoon to get a test for tomorrow. Been testing on 3 for £1 B&M tests so far so not too much to waste. Not sure how sensitive they are though, it doesn't say on the packet or the information inside which is a bit suspicious considering they call them early response. Anybody tried them?

Cheeky Go with whatever you feel comfortable with regarding ttc again. If you feel physically and mentally ready to ttc straight away and you conceive again straight away they'd take your mc date to give a rough calculation and then you get a more accurate date at your scan.

Ic I've never had proper positives on cheap tests. I never used them with dd because we caught first month so I just bought frer and then CB digital. My friend gave me a load last time and I was getting BFN on them after cb digital said 1-2. This time CB digital said 2-3 then I bought some super drug cheapie tests (2 tests for £3.49) so I could see a line. I did one in the evening and one the next day with fmu and although the second one was darker, I didn't get a line as dark as the control on either. That was Saturday, today cb digital says 3+. I'm 5 weeks today so freaking out about high levels of hcg but that is another story. Sorry. I'm not helping you to avoid Super drug am I? My dh is exactly the same - always says I should wait a week after a missed af to test. How exactly does he expect me to get through that week? He means we'll but he doesn't get it!

Well ^ stupid autocorrect

Hey everyone. I don't think I'll be using the early responses after my experience this time. I would prefer to get a proper positive on a test wth sensitivity of 25 once AF is overdue.

I'm saying that now but let's see what happens! I think your right. I'll probably not prevent but not actively try once this bleeding finishes. It's so demoralising going back to contraception don't you think?

My DH is like that too Insufficient.

Superdrug get a good rating here:

www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/brand-chart.php?hptbrandid=47

Wishing you the best of luck insufficiently! It's a scary time, desperate to get preg and then when you see the line the anxiety takes over :(

Hopeful I hope you are ok, thinking of you xxx

JPEG it ain't over till it's over!

Just leaving work and feeling so tired today. The bleeding feels like a period albeit heavier but like Brenna said the cramps are brutal. I've been keeping on top of the painkillers and not letting myself suffer. It's not been as bad as it could've been overall.

I told my three best friends (whose parents are my parents best friends and we've known each other since we were babies so they are pretty much family really) that I've miscarried again. One of them doesn't have kids but the other two do (one of which who is due her 4th child on July 4th - 2 weeks before my first due date and she didn't tell anyone she was pregnant until she was 25 weeks because she was apparently worried about me). Anyway i told them via a group what's app and they all replied saying oh no sorry to hear etc but nothing since. This was on Tuesday.

I feel quite hurt actually. I told them because they are like my sisters but not one of them has text since asking how I am physically or mentally. They acknowledged it but that's it. I wouldn't have bothered telling them if I knew they were going to react like that - I've had much much better support and comforting words from strangers on here. People who have read messages from me for the first time have sent kind messages. I get they might not know what to say but they could've just said how are you, thinking of you.

I feel a bit foolish because we decided not to tell mil as she gets all worried and is still talking about the first miscarriage and I know DH might be a bit hurt had he realised I've told my friends when I've been harping on about not telling people.

Oh cheeky I'm so sorry your friends have been like that... Mine were exactly the same, the one token message then no real mention of it. I guess purple just don't understand, but that's no excuse. They should be visiting your or at least calling to see if you are ok.

I understand you not telling mil... I wouldn't either!!

I hope the cramps go away soon!

cheeky I can TOTALLY sympathise. Some, literally a few, of my friends have been amazing but the rest have been pretty absent. I don't blame them as they don't fully understand but it would be nice if they at least acknowledged how f*cking painful this is for me and my DH, which they don't seem to really.

That is why these threads are invaluable. I think you are all amazing!

xx

And I am so glad the pain is manageable. Hope it continues and you can put all this behind you v quickly xxx

Thanks hopeful.. Feeling a bit sorry for myself today in terms of the people in real life. Only DH is 100%

You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself. No one in real life gets it and I've never felt as lonely as I have through this. Very great full for this thread.

Cheeky and Mrs. I am glad you mad eit through work today Cheeky.

I had a meltdown tonight. I am so tired at the moment and work is still quite a grind. We have been busy every night this week doing things - mostly for other people. I got home tonight and my lovely brother called to see how things went at the clinic yesterday. Which was lovely. But he was full of how hard things are because he has had a problem at work that took him 3 months to solve - my research has been stuck in teh same place for a year now. And he is struggling with the housework because they have a wee boy and a new baby. Then I tried to pack for this weekend and I literally have nothing to wear because over the last 9 months and the pregnancies and chest infections and things I have put on 2 stone and the zips just don't go up. I feel tired and ill and fat all the time, I hate having to face work every day. I am stuck living in the same street as my ex and the OW and their baby as they bought a flat a few doors down from me and we can't get our flat on the market as I am just too busy and ill most of the time. And the dresses were the final straw. We are going somewhere really posh and I have jeans and leggings. I am out of my comfort zone going there anyway and I am struggling with my weight so much. I cried my way through trying everything on in my wardrobe. DH doesn't know what to do with me. We are skiving off work early tomorrow to go shopping. Thankfully having had a meltdown tonight means I will be fine by tomorrow.

Oh brenna that does sound like a lot of stressful things going on, I'm not surprised you had a meltdown. And the barefaced cheek of your ex moving in to your street
Bunking off early sounds like a great idea. I hope it helps and you feel better soon

brenna that sounds very stressful... I'm sorry you're feeling low. I hope you manage to get something nice shopping and hope you have a great relaxing romantic weekend away with your DH.
Also can't believe your ex is on your street! How dare he!!!

Aw Brenna hope you have a lovely weekend away, totally deserve it. You sound like such a lovely person and are always doing things for other people. Do listen to your body and mind, take a step back and take it easy and put yourself first sometimes. Sometimes the infections and things can be a sign that your body is run down and it needs some TLC.

I know it's extremely difficult but Just try and 'leave' everything this weekend if you can and think you yourself you will come back to it after a couple of days. I always think of it like putting your worries in a box and saying, right I'll come back to you when I've got more headspace. I've not explained it very well but It was something I was taught when dealing with the cancer. Xx

cheeky and kate thinking of you guys and what you're going through and sorry your friends aren't being how they should - such a horrible and lonely time.

brenna thinking of you too and agree with the post above about what a lovely person you seem so give yourself a break and enjoy the weekend...hope you find something nice when shopping today.

They have been there 5 years. The OW is the mother of my Godson. I actually bumped into them pushing their pram the day I was miscarrying the first time. It was the worst moment of my life and I was so proud of myself that nobody got punched. I am absolutely desperate to move but at first after the split I just couldn't afford to and wouldn't have got a new mortgage. We are hopefully going this year. If I get my finger out and do the last of the DIY.

I feel better today. The meltdown cleared my head a bit.

Glad you're feeling a bit better Brenna
I think sometimes it's good to have a meltdown & let all the built up emotions have an outlet. I hope you enjoy your weekend.

4 days late & another BFN here. I'm going away this weekend so I reckon AF is holding off to come at the worst possible moment. Lots of walking & cycling planned? Have a period! Going away is a good distraction though, not going to test again until Sunday/Monday now

I am due today IC. Going away for a spa weekend. Equally annoying. My temp hasn't dropped though, so I don't think AF will make her appearance today. Which means no wine tonight. No tests in the house, so I can't even test - but then if it was BFN I wouldn't risk drinking anyway.

I did tell DH in between sobs that it was better I had a meltdown then than over the weekend. He accepted that, then offered me chocolate to make me feel better. I was half laughing, half crying explaining to him why chocolate maybe wasn't the best cure for a my-clothes-don't-fit meltdown. In the end I had a camomile tea, ranted on here and went to bed. I'd rather have had a wine last night. Oh well, fewer calories in the tea.

Brenna hope you enjoy your spa weekend. I think if I was in your shoes I'd have had several meltdowns, and for what it's worth I think it's better to have the odd meltdown than brave face it all the time because that's not great for anyone's mental health. So have a thoroughly selfish weekend of putting yourself first, you deserve it and possibly need it.

I've been lurking but not posting as I've had very little to say but knowing that there's all you guys going through the same stuff (and seeing an NHS shrink) has been helping to keep my head above water. We were supposed to be going to the Implantation clinic at Coventry to get my lining tested this cycle but I thought it would probably coincide with our holiday and I wasn't keen to waste a day tracking down there when I could be doing something more fun. So I have ate, drank and done all the bad stuff this cycle and this seems to have happened .

The witch normally gives me a 4-5 day warning of her arrival with spotting, nothing and I found walking up hills on holiday really hard and was breathing a lot but not the usual asthma breathlessness. Anyway did a test a couple of days early and am now freaking out that I'll be experiencing my 4th MC soon. I know I should be more positive but my body has let me down a few times already, ladies, feel free to give me a slap and tell me to chill out! Am testing tomorrow to see if line improves.