TTC after miscarriage thread #4

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

Hello ladies. I noticed the last thread filled up, seemed to happen all of a sudden! Hoping you find your way here (prepares for tumbleweed)

For reference here's thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2593041-TTC-after-miscarriage-lucky-thread-number-3

All those we are trying to conceive a child after miscarriage are welcome here, whether it's your first or you already have DC

Good luck ladies. Let's have some BFPs, we've earned it

Cross posted Mrs, I just finished an essay on the appointment, last on the previous page if you want to see.

I forgot to say my uterus is not a funny shape, so we can rule that one out.

glad it went well brenna and they're giving you help and support - suppose it's just nice to know somebody is listening.
af is due a week today for me so if she arrives, i'll be visiting the doc and asking for a referral!

Thanks jodie. I hope the witch stays away. If she doesn't I hope your Drs are as nice and helpful as mine.

Brenna that sounds like a productive appt. I was told that if I miscarried again I would get referred. However I just received a letter in the post for an appt with the consultant that was mentioned I would be referred to if I miscarried. In the pregnancy which ended in January I was going to be put under consultant led care - so I'm not sure if they just realised I was pregnant again and sent out the appt or whether someone has kindly referred me following the two miscarriages.

I would ideally like to see him ofcourse. What should I do? The EPU cancel your booking scan appt etc don't they following a miscarriage so not sure if it will automatically get cancelled (if it was for the purpose of a consultant led pregnancy)

The consultant you would see if you were a high-risk pregnancy and the one for recurrent miscarriages would be two different people, so I gues they have referred you anyway. You could always phone and ask to be sure. I hope it means you have got your referral early.

I thought that Brenna but I noticed it was the same consultant. I'll give them a ring though as you say and just ask what the appt is for.

So glad your appointment went well Brenna.

Cheeky how are you today??

xx

I'm ok thanks hopeful. Had heavier bleeding today so seem to be clearing out. Cramps not been too bad. Been busy with work and feeling quite tired.

How are you feeling?

Hi Mrs- thanks. Will defo be taking the appt if offered! I'll just phone the number on the letter and see what they say then.

Just waiting for DH and then we will have dinner. We've been having takeaways for the last two weeks as I've just not had energy but tonight got some quiche from M&S with oven chips and garlic mushrooms and brocolli. Random but it'll do!

That sounds like a gorgeous dinner! Glad you are resting tonight and the cramps are under control. Sending you tons of thoughts. Glad you have a referral too!

I am v down tonight and have made a decision. I am going to stop taking all the medication my consultant has given me and let nature run its course. He was pretty negative today about the chances of a healthy pregnancy and the drugs are only prolonging the pregnancy rather than fixing it. If it is unhealthy it will miscarry, no matter what drugs I am on. I have texted him tonight to ask my consultant how to do that safely as he told me you can't stop suddenly, but hopefully in a few days I will be clear and then this should all resolve. It is my birthday on Monday and I have never wanted to celebrate anything less.

I also have decided that I don't want to try again naturally. I am happy to explore whether IVF could help or any other assistance but I am not doing this naturally again.

Sorry to not be more positive. But in many ways I think coming to terms with the reality of where we're at is positive. I feel broken by it all but I know I will rebuild eventually.

Thanks for all your support and kindness xx

Had loads of negative ICs so went and bought a FRER...is this what I think it is!?

But worried it's so light still, I think I'm about 11DPO. I'm excited but not getting my hopes up too much yet!

That is definitely a line!! Congratulations!!! xx

HopefulKate sorry that was so insensitive of me, I didn't read before I posted.

I hope you're okay xx

Oh Kate you poor thing. I completely get what you mean about not prolonging the agony. I feel so terrible for you and wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.
Sending positive thoughts your way lovely lady and hope that everything works out. N

Definitely a line missclark congratulations.

Congratulations missclarke!!! Definitely positive.

kate I think you are being so amazingly strong and also have such a good attitude about such a hard situation, letting nature take its course sounds like a good idea either way. And it sounds like you have a plan IF this pregnancy is not successful. Make sure you're taking good care of yourself

cheeky I'm glad you have been given a referral, that's really good of them and also hopefully it gives you something to focus on. Glad the cramping isn't too bad but sorry about the bleeding.

brenna glad your appointment went well, it's great you are getting all of that support.

And the witch has arrived!!

Congratulations MissClarke!

Kate I think accepting the reality of a situation and making a plan to deal with it is positive. I hope this limbo ends for you soon so you at least know either way

Still no AF & while on Monday as feeling rather premenstrual, now I don't at all. The sharp pain has become more dull and less frequent. So far tested on cheap tests, going to splash out on a Superdrug early response which was the 1st to give a clear positive last time. Plan to test on Friday but we all know I'll crack & do it tomorrow as soon as I'm back from the shop!

Congrats Miss Clarke!! You were on the July thread same time as me weren't you? So pleased for you.

Hopeful - I'm so sorry your going through this. And don't be silly about being negative. Feel free not to respond if you don't feel up to it but remind me of your story please? I know you were considering IVF before this pregnancy and it was a nice surprise. It's not over yet! It's tough when your in limbo and you are being so brave. See what the consultant says too. I Hope he gets back to you...I think gut feeling can be right and when you 'face' up to your subconscious thoughts it can feel like a weight is lifted. Don't lose hope. Virtual hugs.

Insufficiently - hope it's good news for you. Good luck!!

Miami sorry to hear about the witch.

JPEG I'm not sure what the appt is for yet. I don't really get it. Will give them a call tomorrow. It would be great if it was a referral. Part of me feels the miscarriages could be something to do with not having 80% of the pancreas and spleen. They told me at my op that it wouldn't affect fertility though but perhaps it's left some weakness.

Thanks cheeky. I had been expecting AF but still has completely taken me by surprise. Suddenly emotionally am a wreck again, not quite as bad after the mc, but still not good. Just feels so sad. Anyway sorry just feeling sorry for myself now. I am sure I will be fine tomorrow.
Good luck with getting hold of consultant and figuring out what the appt is for. Hopefully all a positive step for you.

Congrats to lucky & missclarke!

Miami sorry af came.

Kate I hope you're ok.

Brenna glad your appointment went well and you have a plan of action.

I can't remember who was saying about pregnancy after mc earlier in the thread and the feeling that it will never happen. Once I also felt like that, that I would never have a baby after I lost my twin boys. I did, my DD was conceived 8 months after I had the twins and apart from the initial stress of losing her twin I had a good pregnancy. My second DD was conceived 13 months after having dd1. I have had miscarriages, recurrent ones for no known reason but it can and will happen.
I am quite a positive person, I try my upmost to stay in this place I'm at now as at the deepest of my sadness 10 years ago I was not me. My experiences of mc at various stages have made me a much stronger person, but I don't let them define me. Obviously I get sad and think 'why me?' At times and I remember each and every baby that could have been here now. I try to make these in to happy thoughts, think about them as little people, who they would look like and if they would be like my dd's. My babies are with my nana, grandad's and my little cousin up there now as our guardian angels. I know they're happy and watching over us.
I used to go to spiritualist evenings a long time ago when my dd1 was a baby, I had been going for a few weeks and was dues to go again. I was angry that I hadn't been picked out for a reading and shouted at the hand and footprints the hospital had given me when I had my sons. I said 'all I want to know is if you're ok! Why won't you tell me if you're ok?!' That evening I got picked out. The gentleman said my name clearly 'Amy' just shouted it out, he said 'to the question you asked earlier, yes we are ok!' I never went again!

Miami can understand you are feeling down. New cycle = another opportunity to conceive. When was your miscarriage?

Amy thanks for that little pep talk. As you say, can't let miscarriage define us xx

Cheeky mc was 26th April. I was at 9 wks by that stage. Weird things happening today. My temp has gone up, so this can't be AF?! From what I understand of temping anyway. If I did ovulate on the day I think I did then today is 7dpo. I had light spotting when I wiped last night and what could only be described as cervical pain, which is why I thought it was the witch. Temp only gone up to 36.51 (so still lower than previous cycles post ov). No wonder there are so many chat rooms and books about miscarriage, there is no pattern is there? Just a big mess of crazy hormones playing tricks with your body and mind!!

Sorry Miami, that was very recent. I hadn't realised. Did you miscarry naturally? Yes I agree! There is absolutely no pattern and on top of it , it differs for different people too! are you TTC or are you waiting a cycle? I don't think I'll be waiting more than one cycle. Would like to TTC without even waiting for a cycle but do you guys suggest that's stressful in terms of not knowing /waiting for potential period or pregnancy? Last miscarriage I got my period exactly 5 weeks after and they told me it should arrive between 4-6 weeks.

Could be implantation perhaps Miami. Although you're right, after mc there is no pattern, everything is up in the air! Fingers crossed this is implantation for you!

Cramps are much more af like this morning. CD31 which makes me 3 days late by post-mc cycle average but not that unusual for pre-mc (30 day average) so could be nothing. DP thinks I should wait to be a week late before testing again DP knows nothing!