Just about to start IVF - excited,scared,emotional ..........

[Nelli30]

Hi there everyone. I haven't posted on here for a long time, but I was am finding myself in need of support from people who understand what it like and my experiences from this site in the past have been so helpful I thought I'd ask for your help once again.

Brief Summary: I've been married for 2 1/2 years, I have one stepdaughter who is 8yr, an ex wife to contend with who is bonkers. we've been ttc for 3 yrs, I've had all the tests including laparoscopy and our diagnosis is 'unexplained infertility' I've tried hypnotherapy, reflexology, acupuncture, herbal remedies but all to no avail. I fell pregnant once , a year ago next week actually, but lost the baby after 5 weeks.
Without boring you all ... I have found the whole experience so very stressful and emotional, I'm feel so angry all the time, with loads of questions and thought running round in my head. Above all why us?! I'm finding the whole thing quite hard to cope with. We have our first appt at the clinic on the 19th Jan which I am excited, aprehensive, about, we are having to pay for it because I am only 31 and in our area the women has to be 35 to get it on the NHS, so this is also an added pressure and its costing £4000. We can only afford one shot and I am terrified incase it doesn't work although I am very positive about the outcome you have to be realistic. I'm scared how I would cope if it didn't work, I'm scared that my husband and I are not strong enough to cope with it if it does not work. But on the other hand I'm excited and feel overwhlemed at the thought that it might just work and we could be starting our own little family. How lovely it would be for all of us including my stepdaughter as I could then feel at last part of a normal family and feel sucessful instead of a failure at something so natural.

Basically... if anyone is still awake after reading all that, I'm just hoping that someone out there has been through this and can tell me that my fears and hopes are normal cause I am really struggling with it all.

Thanks very much for being there

xxx

Dear Nelli
soooo sorry and sad to hear your news (as said in the hut - go there anytime and be yourself and scream! if you need to).

Did the clinic give you any indication of what they thought the issues were? I guess you still need to be positive that you managed to get your egg to the fertilised state - Ive noticed a lot of ladies on the IVF website have not managed to get that far so maybe your clinic can now work on the implantation????

We have started to think of what next and in my own mind I want to have one more go in July but Im verging on possibly having donor eggs - my DP is against it so I have a bit of work to do there Listening to everyone I think this is realistically my best chance given my age but so much better than adoption cos again due to age they will not now give us a baby .

I hope in the meantime you are giving yourself some special treats such as wine, brie, and good unhealthy eating for a week or two!! take care and see you either in the hut or this thread.
x