Just about to start IVF - excited,scared,emotional ..........

[Nelli30]

Hi there everyone. I haven't posted on here for a long time, but I was am finding myself in need of support from people who understand what it like and my experiences from this site in the past have been so helpful I thought I'd ask for your help once again.

Brief Summary: I've been married for 2 1/2 years, I have one stepdaughter who is 8yr, an ex wife to contend with who is bonkers. we've been ttc for 3 yrs, I've had all the tests including laparoscopy and our diagnosis is 'unexplained infertility' I've tried hypnotherapy, reflexology, acupuncture, herbal remedies but all to no avail. I fell pregnant once , a year ago next week actually, but lost the baby after 5 weeks.
Without boring you all ... I have found the whole experience so very stressful and emotional, I'm feel so angry all the time, with loads of questions and thought running round in my head. Above all why us?! I'm finding the whole thing quite hard to cope with. We have our first appt at the clinic on the 19th Jan which I am excited, aprehensive, about, we are having to pay for it because I am only 31 and in our area the women has to be 35 to get it on the NHS, so this is also an added pressure and its costing £4000. We can only afford one shot and I am terrified incase it doesn't work although I am very positive about the outcome you have to be realistic. I'm scared how I would cope if it didn't work, I'm scared that my husband and I are not strong enough to cope with it if it does not work. But on the other hand I'm excited and feel overwhlemed at the thought that it might just work and we could be starting our own little family. How lovely it would be for all of us including my stepdaughter as I could then feel at last part of a normal family and feel sucessful instead of a failure at something so natural.

Basically... if anyone is still awake after reading all that, I'm just hoping that someone out there has been through this and can tell me that my fears and hopes are normal cause I am really struggling with it all.

Thanks very much for being there

xxx

Latenight - fantastic news about the embie. I am crossing everything that this little one is going to do really well and settle in for the next 9 months for you!

Nelli - omg! 40?! Yikes! I hope they're keeping an eye on you for any possible OHSS. But let's also hope they get a good number of eggs out for you too.

Hugs,
Artoo.

Just to let everyone know that I had my second scan today and blood test. No more follies have appeared (which is a good thing in my case as I have 40 already), the sizes are good , we have at least 11 which will be ready for ec on monday. We had to wait for the result of the bloods today and thankfully I just scraped in . My levels rose to 14,500 the cut off for monday is 15,000 so just managed it! We are going up on sunday night and are staying just down the road which will make it easier.

Anyway - best of luck to everyone! Keeping everything crossed for us all!

Nelli xx

Hi guys - I just want to wish you lots of luck and positive vibes.

I start IVF in May/June and reading your posts has helped me a lot. I am terrified, sad, excited and worried. Good combo, hey?!

Hi Artoo - thanks for your kind words of encouragement

Hi Nelli - good to see that 11 are a decent size hopefully they will get enough out to freeze to save you having to go through this again!

Hi Sunshinedays - good to have you on board and do ask questions if we don't seem to cover everything here! I can't saying that doing IVF is easy, it is just the same emotional rollercoaster as TTC naturally - except we get around 5 weeks of worry for each cycle instead of the normal 2WW after ov.

The great thing in this is that DP who has not really shown any emotion or deep interest in what is going on - has changed ! After he saw the cells under the microscope he changed and is constantly asking how I feel, do I think it's still there. What do you reckon its doing??? I cant believe the character change its great .

Ive felt really tired today - we went for a walk x 1.5 hrs to just chill out and I was shattered. I dont know whether it was due to the emotional part or the physical side of ET and EC - so do ensure you have planned in some rest Nelli for yours after Monday.

Hi there!

Just to update you - Had EC today - al went well. Bit sore now though, but only to be expected I guess! Great result - 19 eggs!!! ET scheduled for wednesday!!

Very excited!!

xxxxxx

great!
Good luck.

Hope you are getting sack loads of TLC

Fabulous news Nelli - now put your feet up and rest! Good luck for ET! Do let us know how you get on...

Hi LNO - are you stil very tired?

My heart goes out to anyone going through any form of infertility problems. I started my nightmare about 18 years ago and the biggest thing I remember is having no one to talk to. This site is a god send for thoughts, fears and a shoulder to cry on and of course to celebrate. IVF never worked for me I gave up on everything but luckily it happened naturally to my amazement but I do remember what a heart renching time it can be you can go through all emotions in a split second. Best of luck to all of you.

Hi Sunshine, Ive still got pains in tummy and although I do have a 15 min walk to work I feel pretty rough til I have a rest. Luckily work is pretty sedatary - mainly brain and verbal stuff! I wonder when the stomach pains are supposed to go?? I have steered away from any pain killers just in case Im pg...

Wonder if anyone else can say what their temps were like after ET? I have been charting mine and it is really spikey - so far it has gone from 36.4 to 37 then down to 36.5 and up to 36.7 weird? and of course anything I feel I keep thinking is a sign of a BFPif I am like this now dont know what I will be like this time next week (the day before i test!!)

Podgybum (great name ) good to hear you conceived naturally - btw how many IVF attempts did you have before you gave up??

Probably not a good idea to chart temps during IVF - all the hormones being pumped into your body will be making things a bit haywire, and I think there'd be a danger of getting very misreading results.

Hang in there - it's the longest 2ww of your life.

Hugs,
Artoo.

Latenightown. I had 3 attemps but I also did a trial for "gift" I don't hear about it much and various other things. All I seem to remember is scans, injections and lots of driving back and forth to hospital and of course the heart break every month. As I say I do feel for people in this position and unless you have been through it people have no idea. I Also got upset at how some people treated there children and there was me busting a gut to have children as I'm sure you understand. I really wish you the best I really do.

just seen this thread I am doing ivf at the end of april begining May. i over stim every single time I have ivf (this is my 13th attempt and last!, we have a DB 2 years). apparently it can happen if you have polycystic ovaries, which I do but I ovulate (all v complicated!) I hope all goes well for you I am keeping my fingers crossed the whole thing is such an emotional nightmare and the two week wait is so hard because there is no clinic to visist and there is very little you can do to make it happen. I hope it happens for you.

Hi Folks!

Nelli we are all holding our breath and fingers crossed hoping your egg transfer went well. When you feel up to it do let us know.

Artoo - you are sooooo right .

Podgybum and Suss thanks for your kind words of encouragement. Starting to get really nervy cos natural AF would have been due on Sat but cos of the drugs etc the Consultant said we were to test on Wed (now less than one week away...I cant believe it - I think this weekend is going to be the longest of my life). I had really bad pains in stomach up to yesterday and now it has sort of stopped - I wanted the pains to stop but now I wish they would start cos at least then I would know that something was going on... This is truely the mad, mad, world of TTC!

LNO and Nelli
Thinking of you both... & hoping you are going to be my experts to help me through May/June!!
Sx

Of course Sunshine - wishing you all the best.

Hi there everyone!

Sorry haven't posted for a while. Things been hectic here. We had ET on wednesday and have been resting since. All went well. Feels weird to think I have 2 embies on board now. Trying hard not to be too positive or negative. Its going to be a long 2 weeks!

How are you Latenight?

Nelli xxx

Hi there Latenight!

You must be getting nervous/excited now!! All the best for wednesday. I have everything crossed for you xxxx

Hi Nelli, Ive been good and not tested and now Im starting to spot. It started this afternoon and Im soooo scared that AF is on the way.... keeping legs and fingers crossed that it is just an implantation bleed...but no doubt will know more tomorrow.

Hope you are well ?? when do you test??

Hi latenight. I am testing on Wed 4th.

It could well be an implantation bleed, a friend of mine had IVF and she had an enormous bleed and continued to bleed for several weeks, she now has healthy twins. I know its hard but try to keep positive . Is new or old blood? (sorry if thats asking for too much info)Have you rung your clinic?!
I hope you are ok. I'll be thinking of you.

Wishing you all the luck in the world for tomorrow xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Nelli, thanks for your kind words. Well had bad cramps last night- went to bed and laid flat, slept very little and dreaded getting up this morning - and nothing! So now officially on Knicker watch!!! (warning TMI ....)It wasnt new blood just a strange pink/brown light colour - so fingers crossed its an implantation bleed -- oh if only! Anyway I have steered away from the clear blue fairy's constant demands to test early and will do it first thing tomorrow morning if AF stays away today....I can't believe I only have one more day to go! Are you taking your temperatures too? I have and its been interesting. Yesterday when I spotted my temps were really high in the morning and usually if AF is due it drops (hence why I was even more confused and upset) Today it has remained high (although not as high as yesterday) so who knows if it is the embie or the hormone plessaries..

Hope you are resting well - are you at home or at work? Ive now got some time off - I didnt want to be at work to hear the results - good or bad!

Catch up with you tomorrow and fingers crossed

Hi LNO
Have also posted to you on another thread. Have you called your IVF clinic - they may want to up your progesterone.

Thinking of you
Sx

Hi
I am new here and hope you don't mind me joining you guys as I've been reading your messages for a couple of weeks and hope that you get postive results. I am doing first cycle of IVF, have just turned 40 and had a miscarriage last year. I have been on GonalF 300 and went for 6 day scan yesterday at the Lister. Was told I had 9 follicles which I was pleased about as my AMH score is very low at 1.2. When I saw the nurse she told me that two of the follicles were now mature at 19mm and they want to do an egg collection on Thursday with only two follicles!! I don't know anyone else who this has happened to and am very upset, emotional and confused. As the 2 follicles are mature, if I carry on stimming I will lose these two and the other 7 will probably not mature enough to collect. When I asked her how after just 5 days of injections I could get 2 19mm follicles she said it was my age! She also said that this was quite unusual.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm feeling really negative and very despondent. How can I do collection with only two follicles? And, what does this result mean? I have put a call into the doctor at the Lister, but as usual he hasn't returned my call and the nurses seem to give you different information each time you ask them a question.

Thanks.

Hi Smudgerr - Welcome to MN!

I am 32 and started my tx cycle on 11th feb. I was stimming for 7 days before I had my first scan and I had 26 follies! About 4 of those were between 13mm & 15mm. I was then told about the risk that I would over stimulate. I was very upset, but they also told me to carry on with the injections. I too like you was worried that the follies would 'go over' and be no use, I had to go back every day to have my bloods checked and if they were too high the tx may have had to be cancelled. This was just the worst time. At the second scan, 2 days later (when is your second scan?) I had 40 follies. They then left me to 'coast' over the weekend which basically means not having the injections in the hope that your blood levels fall, then went for EC the monday. I'm obviously no doctor and I know its hard but you just have to trust them, they know what they are doing and will give you the best possible chance to maximise you egg collection.

I have been in contact with alot of ladies of all ages going through tx who have had a variety of follies, from 2 to 10 to 40 like me. 9 follies really is great and by your second scan you might be surprised at how many others creep up and catch up with those lovely 19mm! I would highly recommend this website www.repromed.co.uk its great. I have got alot of support from MN and from repromed, You will be able to find lots of ladies at the same stage as you and lots of advice from people who have been through it.

I hope this has helped a little, and keep drinking the water!!

All the best for your second scan and EC. Let us know how you get on
Nelli xx

The website is

www.repromed.co.uk/forum