Just about to start IVF - excited,scared,emotional ..........

[Nelli30]

Hi there everyone. I haven't posted on here for a long time, but I was am finding myself in need of support from people who understand what it like and my experiences from this site in the past have been so helpful I thought I'd ask for your help once again.

Brief Summary: I've been married for 2 1/2 years, I have one stepdaughter who is 8yr, an ex wife to contend with who is bonkers. we've been ttc for 3 yrs, I've had all the tests including laparoscopy and our diagnosis is 'unexplained infertility' I've tried hypnotherapy, reflexology, acupuncture, herbal remedies but all to no avail. I fell pregnant once , a year ago next week actually, but lost the baby after 5 weeks.
Without boring you all ... I have found the whole experience so very stressful and emotional, I'm feel so angry all the time, with loads of questions and thought running round in my head. Above all why us?! I'm finding the whole thing quite hard to cope with. We have our first appt at the clinic on the 19th Jan which I am excited, aprehensive, about, we are having to pay for it because I am only 31 and in our area the women has to be 35 to get it on the NHS, so this is also an added pressure and its costing £4000. We can only afford one shot and I am terrified incase it doesn't work although I am very positive about the outcome you have to be realistic. I'm scared how I would cope if it didn't work, I'm scared that my husband and I are not strong enough to cope with it if it does not work. But on the other hand I'm excited and feel overwhlemed at the thought that it might just work and we could be starting our own little family. How lovely it would be for all of us including my stepdaughter as I could then feel at last part of a normal family and feel sucessful instead of a failure at something so natural.

Basically... if anyone is still awake after reading all that, I'm just hoping that someone out there has been through this and can tell me that my fears and hopes are normal cause I am really struggling with it all.

Thanks very much for being there

xxx

Good luck every one - fingers and all other bits crossed for you. Hope you are bearing up ok Latenightowl.

X

Thanks Nelli30
I'm not having a 2nd scan, they are just going to do the EC on Thursday. I went to the hospital today to drop off my consent forms and saw the nurse who changed the time of my ovitrelle injection again and also said that there is a chance on thursday that the follicles may not be of any use due to timing etc!
I have to say that I'm not impressed with the treatment I've received at The Lister and will definitely look at other London clinics in the next few weeks.

Sorry, just feeling exhausted by all the emotional upheaval, I knew it would be hard but feel like this cycle is already over before it's really began.

I do, however, find this site very helpful and like to hear all about the success stories. I don't know anyone going through IVF as all my friends already have children so this really does help.

Smudgerr - It doesn't sound like you are getting terribly good care from your clinic. You certainly shouldn't have to be worrying about that when there is enough to worry about with IVF as it is. All the best for thursday , please let us know how it goes. Your clinic must have a complaints procedure , maybe it might worth thinking about giving them some feedback when you feel ready?!

LATENIGHT - How are you doing . Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs your way xxx

Hi Ladees, Just been reading your thread as a way to start thinking about IVF. It is good to hear about some success stories after the Doc gave us a 10% chance of success. Also good to hear that some couples are arguing as well! Thanks for the website & book recommendations. Nelli30, did you read all those books? LNO, how are you? I do hope you are OK. Sending positive affirmations (I can't do the fairy dust thing).

Hi folks
thanks for the well wishes - my last nights sleep tonight before my test. Im sooo scared! its untrue....Ive just started to spot again - but have done further research and Im hoping its an implantation bleed. No real blood yet thank goodness.

Smudgerr, I agree with Nelli your treatment sounds pretty poor compared with my experience (of just one go!)...I can't believe they are doing an EC after only 2 scans! I am using Holly House Hospital in Essex(just 40 mins on the tube outside of London) and their care has been exemplary. I would truely recommend it.

If you are seeking more info on IVF I also recommend the site www.ivfworld.com - their forums are full of ladies either ready to do/doing or completed IVF/IUI and you get good hints on all the issues. Don't get me wrong I love MN (i spend alot of my time in the hut of gloom - not as bad as it sounds and is a great light relief from all of this TTC lark!) Ive met a great bunch of ladies here (hence why I surf here) but we tend to be the only IVF thread whereas the other site is just full of it!

Once again thanks everyone and will post tomorrow no matter what! here's to a decent night's sleep

Thanks for the advice, actually I've only had one scan.....which makes it even more unbelievable! I'm going ahead with EC on Thursday, have taken so many drugs today I feel quite high, what with 2 sniffs of Synarel, injection of Gonal and injection of Ovitrelle. I will let you know what happens on Thursday.

Lots of luck LNO - can only imagine how nervous you must be feeling.....fingers crossed.

GOOD LUCK LateNight. When I had my EC there was another couple being treated at the same time, and she and I got chatting whilst in the recovery room. We've kept in touch since, and she had bleeding and cramps before the test date and was convinced it hadn't worked. Well, she is now pg, like me, with a singleton. . So it's not necessarily a bad sign. Thinking of you, and hoping you post your test results soon.

Smudgerr - it doesn't sound like your clinic have been hugely communicative, and I know you'll be disappointed not to have more eggs, but even if you get one fertilised embryo out of your cycle I'd call it a success. But if you're not happy with the clinic the best thing to do is look for another one (there must be loads of options in London!) after this cycle, if you're not successful. I do wish you all the best with this one.

Hugs,
Artoo.

Good luck latenight - hope you get great news

Hi folks, well it was a BFN - so sad . AF has still not arrived - the clinic think it is due to the prostegone so I will have to wait and see what happens when that runs out of my system.

Thanks for all your kind words of encouragement - we are now thinking of what to do next but cant really move on til AF arrives - strange.

Nelli - keeping fingers crossed that you can bring us cheerful news!
x

Latenight - I am so very sad to hear your news. You must be so disappointed. I know nothing I say will help you right now, but please know that I am thinking of you and your DH. I along with many others are here if you feel you need to rant or chat , please remember that.

Big hugs
Nelli xxx

Latenight, I'm so sorry to hear the news

I found the progesterone held off my AF, and the one time I was using it and had a BFN I found the AF arrived 3-4 days after I used the last pessary.

I hope that your clinic will help you identify the best way forward from here - perhaps they will change your drugs for your next cycle to see if they can get a better response for you.

For now, take some "me" time - eat blue cheese and pate and relish it! I hope that BFP is in your future soon.

Hugs,
Artoo.

So sorry LNO - thinking of you.

I'm so very sorry LNO x

Also so sad to hear your news LNO......I am thinking of you and hope that AF arrives soon so that you can move onto the next phase.

oh, forgot to mention that I had EC today and although they kept telling me I only had 2 follicles, they amazingly managed to get 7!! . Obviously, still early days but I am alot happier with 7 than 1 or 2.

Smudgerr - Congratulations! That great news! When are you booked for ET , Sat?

Good luck with the phone call - I'm sure there's lots of action going on in that dish as we speak!!

Keep us up informed!!
Well done again!!

Nelli xxx

Thanks Nelli
Well 3 out of the 7 have fertilised and I go for ET tomorrow at midday. One question though, I am so bloated after the EC that I'm in quite alot of pain and am concerned that this will affect tomorrow. It's not stomach cramps I think it's air that is in my stomach as I really do look 6 months pregnant and am in alot of discomfort. Couldn't sleep at all last night and it's no better today. Did you have this?

Hi there Smudgerr - Don't worry - that is completly normal! I felt about 6 months pg before and after EC as well, your follies fill up again with fluid and they take a while to sort themselves out! it won't effect tomorrow at all - you might just be a bit windy!! Better out then in though, this can also be a side effect of the pessaries. Also don't worry if you are still getting tummy pains after ET. My tummy has only just stopped hurting completely and I am on day 10 after ET!

All the best for ET - do let me know how you get on. Well done on 3 embies - great news!!

Nelli xxx

Hi folks,
back after a short break - we did lots of walking and relaxing which was just the tonic cos it helped me clear my head. Anyway AF has arrived along with horrible headaches and stomach cramps but to be expected this time round.

Nelli when do you test? you must be pretty near now?? How are you feeling?

Smudgerr, hope the ET went well - I had stomach cramps for almost 10 -11 days it apparently is normal but the docs usually omit to say this!

I will wait until June/July to have my second and I think last attempt of IVF depending on the number of eggs available.(well that's what Im thinking at the moment!)

Well, I had ET today and they put all 3 back in though only 1 of them looks like it's any good, but you never know so I'm gonna try and be positive.

LNO - I know it's a really difficult time for you now, I think the hardest thing is all the waiting for the next stage to happen when all you want to do is to move forward. I am on the long protocol which means taking the pill for two weeks prior to down regging and it all just seems to take so long.

Take good care and be really nice to yourself....lots of treats....x

Well done smudgerr thats great ! Welcome to the 2 week wait!! It can drive you mad so take care and keep your mind busy if you can.

Hi the Latenight. Glad your break has helped you a little. My test day is wednesday. I feel ok but am increasingly nervous. I will be sure to let you know the outcome one way or another.

Take care

Nelli xxx

Hi, Did you guys see the papers at the weekend? Talk of only allowing one egg to be used at a time. FOR GOODNESS SAKE. It's hard enough as it is without, in effect, reducing the chances by up to as much as 50%. What are they on? Have they no idea how incredibly stressful the whole thing is, already?

Hi Soreheart, yes did read it cos when DP went out to get the usual newspapers also picked up the Independent cos it was the full frontpage spread (bless)said he thought I might be interested. Well this one doesnt affect me cos it is only for those under 40 and I am (just had a birthday....) 45. Apparently they are allowed to put back 3 in us oldies....But my heart goes out to those it does affect. I think I would be furious if after having paid and put up with the pain and had the fortune of having 2 good fertilised eggs then had to make a choice!! how do you do that! God knows .

I guess I can be happy for once that I am over 40

Hi there - I too agree - they should not be able to make this decision. I bet that those 'in power' who are talking about bringing this in have probably got 2/3 kids and have never had to go through IVF themselves! Disgusting!!

Just wanted to add its finally my test day tomorrow and I am absolutely petrified. Walking to work this morning convinced it hadn't worked burst into tears like a looney. Just feel no different whatsoever! Don't want it to be confirmed that its over. Don't know why i feel this was but I just do!

Sorry to be so negative xx

Hi Nelli, I know what you mean about testing, I always hate this bit and unfortunately there's nothing we can tell ourselves to make it any easier.

However, lots of women have no pregnancy signs at all, I didn't when I was pregnant last year, so let's just hope for the best.

Have a good day and at least tomorrow will be the start of the next stage whatever that may be.

Lots of luck