Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

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Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

I think anything you can do to ensure the embryo is good quality is a good idea. Do they offer both?

It seems that the screening is only possible if you go past a 3 day transfer. At our clinic they only did a 5 day transfer if there were over a certain number of embryos. Did they say anything about that?

They didn't specify number of embryos. The Caremaps thing is where a computer takes hundreds of time lapse photos over the 5 days to see if the cells are dividing normally. Then the computer uses algorithms to assess which are looking the best. They reckon that time & rate of division, and consistency in cell size, are a good indicator of viability. It's still not as reliable as the chromosome testing. I'm feeling really positive about it all though. Feeling impatient to get going, but we've agreed to try naturally for a few more months.

Think I'm definitely 'out' this month. Luckily I took a detailed diary of symptoms per dpo back in May, which ended in a bfp, so it's a really good point of reference. Helps to curb the insanity of the tww & poas obsession!

It sounds great doesn't it, I wish they'd had it when we did ours though it may have shown none to be viable. We transferred the two blastocysts we had left on day five and neither stuck.

Yes, that's always the risk. The nurse we spoke to said that it happens, but at least it spares you the upset of another 'miscarriage'. If that happens to us, we'll go straight to donor eggs. There's no delay on that at the clinic we attended because they have such a big database of donors, and the success rate goes up to 45-55%. Until we start I have no idea what my AMH is or anything, so it'll be interesting to see what they say.

It will be interesting to find out, have you booked an initial consultation? It's great that you have a plan and that you're being pragmatic about it. Fingers crossed you'll be lucky with your own eggs.

I'm on cd3, it's dragging...

So I bit the bullet and emailed to request an appointment with a reproduction endocrinologist. Fingers crossed they actually exist outwith academia

I can't keep up!! amanda I had 3 cycles of Ivf. No baby - 1 mc and an ectopic but no issues at all with the procedure. I found it physically fine and although a bit of a pain having to inject myself soon got used to it. It's harder mentally as there are several stages where you are nervously waiting for good news (how many follies, how many eggs retrieved, fertilised, developed, what quality etc.). Would definitely do again if I was younger!!

Sorry you didn't have a good outcome Kkmuppet. Relieved to hear that the medication side of it is manageable. Yes, I'm sure the anticipation at each stage is awful - it must make the usual 2ww seem like nothing!

ababs, we've got an appt at the local recurrent miscarriage clinic in early September so we'll go for that first, then book our initial consultation if that doesn't give us anything 'fixable'. So we're looking at oct/nov as a timeframe. It does feel good to have a plan. Everything else has been so out of our control, so it's good to take a wee bit back.

bloop that sounds interesting - is that to do with thyroid etc?

Amanda - good luck with your plan!

From what I've read they deal with things like thyroid and reproductive hormones that are out of whack - thats definitely what's wrong with me so I feel that seeing someone who deals specifically with hormones rather than a gynae/fertility doc who deals more with assisted reproduction might be more appropriate to start with. If I'm honest I don't know much about the repro endo so I've emailed for more info about their services. I'll report back when I hear

Hey bloopbleep - I didn't even know such doctors existed ! I feel my problems may also be in this area so I'd be very interested to know how it goes for you and ultimately if the consultation is helpful / recommended

Hello, i have read through this thread and have been both impressed and humbled by the support , empathy, humour and resilience you all have shown. Two months ago and agreed 41 (but now 42) i had a miscarriage at eight weeks although the scans showed growth had stopped at a little over six weeks. I was unprepared for how emotionally destructive it was but due to my age we decided to try straight away as soon as i stopped bleeding. I was cautiously happy to get three faint (very faint) positive pregnancy tests around 28 days following miscarriage but started to bleed a couple of days later so i assume this was a chemical pregnancy. This month, again, we tried but unlike before i decided not to think about it too much (which was an impossible ask) so have had the odd glass of wine etc and i am now in the south of France on holiday and have consumed huge amounts of soft cheese and red wine (so i certainly will look pendant even if not) which turns out may not be a great idea as two days ago got another positive pregnancy test followed by another one today - the first was faint but second stronger - i still don't believe this pregnancy will continue though and i am worried about the effects of drinking and general over indulgence. Also concerned as when pregnant before the miscarriage i had one episode of acute abdominal cramps and loose stools (tmi) around the time the baby stopped growing (6 weeks) and had exactly the same thing today so wondering if that is my body rejecting the pregnancy. ... sorry to ramble - think being stuck in the middle of no where in France and away from everyone is exacerbating the whole situation. Any advice appreciated. Thanks

Hello Everincreasingirth, I'm sorry for your losses . It's the peril of early testing isn't it, but we all do it.

I think that the symptoms you suffered in your first mc may or may not have been related (helpful!) but a sample size of one is really not enough to say so don't read too much into it and try not to worry - worrying is not productive and won't change the outcome. As for the wine and cheese, it will have no impact at this early stage, obviously lay off now you've got a positive test. Wishing you lots of luck for a sticky bean and try to enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Hi Everincreasingirth. I've had 3 consecutive miscarriages this year, at 5w, 4w & 9w. They've all been slightly different, so I can't say that a 'good/bad sign' in one happened in another. I even had morning sickness with the last one. I had a bad stomach the night before the first one ended, which made me think it was a symptom, but looking back I also had that when I was pregnant with my son, which was a very healthy pregnancy. As ababs has said, it's probably not helpful to read too much into it, but I know that's easier said than done.

If red wine and soft cheese damaged early pregnancy, the French would be extinct by now! The soft cheese thing is to prevent listeria poisoning which is severe enough to harm a pregnancy, so unless it's given you listeria poisoning, it won't have done anything. The wine becomes a risk later on but not in the first couple of weeks. Remember that your little bean probably only just finished implanting in the last week or so.

The midwife I saw during our last miscarriage said that a healthy pregnancy will stick no matter what. Women who smoke, drink, take drugs and eat junk all day, get pregnant all the time. If a bean is chromosomally viable, it will stick no matter what. If it's not, you will lose it no matter what. A few glasses of wine won't tip the balance at all. I really hope for you that this will be your sticky one.

Oh, for those who share my new obsession for toiletries....! Palmers (as in the cocoa butter people) have coconut oil shampoo & conditioner which is sulphate, paraben and phthalate free, and it's bloody lovely! Your hair smells yummy and it's made mine feel really soft and conditioned. Wilko sell them for £4, which is also a lot cheaper than most of the natural products I can locally.

Love you ladies! I hope I can join, you are inspiring :-)

43, divorced after 16 years, no children...then met my young man and we are now TTCing for 5 month, but seriously for 2. Bought for the first time the CB dual and I am now 6dpo according to app and 8dp fixed smiley. Since Friday evening I have cramps but the worst thing is I have wind for England!!!! Anyway for now I will keep reading your posts...oh and I have a bit of sore boobies 😁😁

Good luck to all!

Bloop have you heard back from the reproduction endocrinologist yet? It would be great if they can do some 'magic' for you.

Amanda sounds like the Palmers is a great find. I've just splashed out on another half a litre of the Khiels amino acid shampoo which I always go back to so I'll stick with that for now.

Welcome Starlumiere. Sounds promising for this cycle of those are not your usual symptoms during the luteal phase. Only another week or so until you will know.

I'm on cd6, should really start dtd tonight but I might leave it till cd8 (am knackered!)

Thank you Abab. I usually am a bit gazy but in the last 48 hours I have been doing nothing apart from passing gazy and this neegling pain on the left of the abdomen.

Sweetie Abab habe a nice shower, put some cream on and jump on DHL . You always have tomorrow of course, but I am all about Carpenters Diem if I can of course . Good luck !!

Lol lol should read, have, DH, Carpe Diem,

Starlumiere wait until you have a two year old, you'll be knackered too!

I had a little giggle at the thought of ababs jumping the DHL guy. I mean, who needs extra sex?!

Definitely not me Pies

Ababs - you have a 2 year old? How wonderful!! Yes I see your point! I want to be knackered, very, mega knackered and have a beautiful 2 year old .

It is my first time trying and although i can have wind before AF all I did this weekend is pass wind like a trooper! I mean, not every hour, but regularly so I did not go out. The cramps were quite regular too. Anybody has experienced this post ov before?

Of course I am trying not to read too much into it, but it is not working very much as it is new to me.

Also I am off to Germany tomorrow for meetings and don't really know how I will manage leading negotiations in the state I am in !!! My young man has tried to teach me how to release wind without a sound, but when they are so intense all i want is release and don't worry about the flipping sound ha! what a dilemma!

This thread makes me smile sometimes!

Star I really hope your embarrassing symptom is all for a good cause! It's hard to say what is a pregnancy symptom vs normal tww. I don't ever remember getting pre-AF cramps apart from a few days before I was due. Since ttc though, I've noticed them from about 6dpo onwards, along with sharp boob pains, cravings, pelvic tingles, womb twitches, you name it!!! I've had them all this month - first month ttc since the D&C, but AF is due any time soon and I've had a snowy-white BFN today. I only took it to confirm what I already knew for DH.

Looking back, my unmistakable pregnancy symptoms were (tmi) lots of yellow cm, fizzy nipples, nausea, extreme hot flushes, unbearable cravings, mega thirst (like, so thirsty I could cry!), and food tasting strange. I remember last time a biscuit tasted like fish, and listerine mouthwash tasted like feet! There's no mistaking it, really! I've had people say that I shouldn't test early, so then I won't know and won't get upset if it's another CP, but how do you ignore that lot??! I keep a symptom diary, so I can look back and keep my sanity in check.

Fingers crossed that your crazy gas means that you will have a 2 year old ruining your sex life

Yes, I am very fortunate to have a beautiful two year old son. Amazing as he is though, he has always been an early riser - currently waking regularly at about 5am hence the tiredness. We've been a bit later to bed watching the Olympics too.

Amanda sorry for your bfn this month. It's still gutting even when you expect it. Onwards to the next cycle!

Starlumiere I hope you can get that wind under control

Ababs - no word from them. Bit annoyed they didn't even send a we'll get back to you response. I'll call next week if still not heard.

As for wind... If it were a symptom for me I'd have been pregnant for the past 41 years ! 😮 Good luck tho star with my first pregnancy I near exploded.

Taking this month off from actively trying - if we bonk at the right time so be it. (I know bonk is so childish but it makes me giggle)