Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

[TwinklyMusic]

Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

Thanks Hula, where are you in your cycle?

About 8dpo i think but not holding out any hope as it didn t feel like a partic good ov (day 11, not much ecwm and apathetic dtd!).

I didn't have much ewcm either, I seem to remember I had quite a lot the months I conceived. Best of luck to you anyway. I think even apathetic dtd counts (thankfully).

I'm very sorry pax this process is emotional torture at times. To have actually become pregnant and the unavoidable hope that comes with that and then being back to square one is at best bewildering, frustrating and lonely. I hope you are okay.

I'm the same dpo as you hula. My post o temps are very low and my pre o temps had unusual spikes. I think it's going to be another short luteal phase. Like you and abab I didn't have much ewcm either.

I just missed toddler swimming to go to the doctor to ask what can be done. Apparently not much as I'm in no pain (so no need to look at ovaries or fallopian tubes). She said I could get private amh tests done but it still just may or may not happen at this age.

I can't remember who has had these tests. If you had it, do you think it was useful?

What a difference four years makes. When I went to (another) doctor before DS he was very meh about my age and said pregnancy was very very likely. Four years only seems like a long time in adulthood where fertility is concerned. Again so hard to accept.

I said to today's doctor that I'd just like to know if it wasn't possible so I could stop putting things on hold (ie higher fitness levels/ avoiding long distance travel / avoiding coffee/ feeling guilty for how unavoidable contact with fucking plastic seems to be/ taking ridiculous supplements ) and she said 'Well you might still get pregnant even if it was very unlikely. ' Grrr. It's the lack of knowledge that pisses me off. I should have gone to toddler swimming.

How are you chewy ?

Oops sorry hi nefer Agree with all the others. While I can see it would have been sensible to have tried getting pregnant earlier that's not possible for me or you now. Don't delay. Don't worry about being an older mother. They are getting more common and no one really cares. There are benefits as well as drawbacks and doing nothing because of general fears of an unknown future is never a good idea. Unless you work in insurance.

Totalnamechanger I had a private AMH test done about 4 years ago. It will give you an indication of whether you still have a decent volume of eggs left - higher numbers are better though if you have pcos it can be very high. But sadly it's no measure of egg quality which, I think, matters more. As far as I know there is no measure for quality. Also plenty of women conceive with a low AMH as for now they are ovulating but the supply is dwindling iyswim. So it may be of some use albeit limited. Mine was fairly good for my age at 40 but I still didn't get a sniff of a bfp for 14 months.

Thanks again abab . I've just had my house professionally cleaned and it cost £100 so it's whether finding out I've loads of eggs but knowing they might all be shit or that I have two eggs but they could possibly maybe at some magical undefined point be viable would make me as happy as three professional cleans

I'm pretty sure pre ds I would have done it had I not got pregnant before a year was out.

Would you do it again?

No, I really don't see the point. 4 years ago it was a decent level and I'd be surprised if it was now zero. I know I'm ovulating now and I'm probably not going to try beyond my next birthday when I'll be 45. I conceived easily last year and though it ended in mc I think it shows it's possible if I can catch a good egg.

Haven't checked in for a while and now feel very upset.

Chewy - I'm so sorry, how awful! How are you feeling now? Are you getting support? please feel you can talk here - that's what this is all about. You've been through such a hard time.

paxillan, also grim news! how are you doing?

Hi to everyone else.

We're overdue some happy stories here.

Yes abab I think I miscarried at a similar time and maybe should take the same pma. I'm 11dpo now and am just hoping not to get period today so luteal phase would be longer than last month. That is enough for me at the moment.

You're right TwinklyMusic . I think on the last thread there was a cluster that came together. That's needed now.

Just popping in to say hi - really diwn as af showed again yesterday. Feeling like it's not going to happen but keep trying to be positive.

We really need some uplifting news here - lets hope one or more of us can post some happy news very soon!

I'm sorry mattsmamma. Hope you can treat yourself this weekend - a glass of wine and a slice of Brie maybe, or whatever tickles your fancy

I hope your LP lengthens this month totalnamechanger. Hopefully it will be 38 weeks long

4dpo here so early days. I'm out at the theatre with a friend tonight and debating whether to have a glass of wine

Do it. I had brie today and wine last night and probably when I get home too. I'll let myself feel guilty if it really does turn out to be week 2 of 40 but only if

Well I didn't in the end but mostly because ds had been up in the night, teething, the previous two nights. That seemed too hard to handle after wine.

Chewy, I do not come here anymore, but for some reason just did. so sorry for the loss of your dream when it seemed already so close.......Life is so unfair!

Sorry ladies can t help on good news front, af decided to show this eve giving me my shortest cycle so far (22/23 days) so not only early ov but 11.5 day luteal phase which is also short for me. Just feels like another sign telling me to let it all go cos it s not going to happen ..... Can t even drown my sorrows as have my usual stonking pre af migraine.

Sorry Mattsmamma she came for you too, it s crap isn t it.

Totalnamechanger - hope you got a longer LP (or better still no af at all !)

Totally understand skipping the wine with a teething toddler abs, my ds still isn t a gauranteed thru the nighter so i haven t risked a proper hangover since he was born!

Paxillin and Chewy - thinking of you both and hope you re getting the love and support you need.

Waves to everyone else.

Started spotting this evening so I'm calling this an 11.5 day luteal phase too hula . Better than last month's 10 days but still not great. Low(er than usual) temps for days too. Yawn.

It's only been very recently that I've risked a hangover abab. I can remember that train of thought very clearly!

Sorry Hula and totalnamechanger. As far as I know anything 10 days or more is not considered an issue for the LP, less than 10 days and there may be implantation issues. Mine is only 12 days and seems OK as I've got pregnant twice.

Was up ridiculously early with ds today and felt very dizzy. Trying not to symptom spot as was probably just a combination of not enough sleep and a rude, early awakening. I'm only 6dpo today.

Like you jass, I've not been on this thread for a very long time, and just happened to pop in. I'm so very sorry for your loss Chewy. How devastating. Sending you my best wishes for whatever you decide to do. It's such a difficult journey - ttc in your 40's- it makes you realise how tough you really are, though right now you are probably feeling quite broken. I so hope you can have your dream come true.

I have not said it here, but ... i am 28weeks pg, natural conception, after more than 10 early mc and a couple of losses after seeing hb. It just happened finally, I stopped all medications, supplements and decided I am too old and all that. I am 46. This is to be DC5, all my mc are after DC4. It is another son, DS4, so growing gender imbalances in our household, but who cares. There is hope for oldies.
I am finally convinced this baby arrives, it has good size already, strong heartbeat always, no worries during pg, nothing wrong on Harmony etc. Perfect pregnancy after all this horror.....

Oh my goodness jassS, MASSIVE congratulations to you. That is wonderful news

Hi! I haven't been on here for ages, but oh my goodness what a lot has happened!
Firstly to Jass - massive congratulations. That is such great news - I'm so pleased for you.
Chewy - so sorry to hear what has happened to you after a successful IVF. I do hope that you give it another go - you proved that it can work, even though the outcome wasn't what you wanted, so you should definitely go for it if you feel you can face it.
Hi to everyone else, and sorry to those who have had recent losses and/or af arriving yet again.
As for me, no further success here - it's definitely 3 years now since we started ttc#2. The 2 goes at IVF were supposed to be our final roll of the dice. But......today I have been to an appointment with a Consultant who comes very highly recommended. It was private, so I had to pay. She was lovely, and didn't dismiss me at all (I was kind of expecting her to tell me nicely to just give up!!). But we came up with a plan. I'm going to have a hycosy (which I now can't believe I've not had before as it was the first thing she suggested). If that comes up OK, we're going to go with clomid for a few months. Funnily enough, the clinic where I had my IVF had dismissed that as an option, but this consultant was encouraged by how well I had responded to the IVF. Anyway, it's slightly annoying that different places tell you different things, but hey-ho, that is my plan for now.
I haven't told DH about this. Not because he is unsupportive, but the IVF was supposed to be our last shot, so I think he's kind of done. These things I can do on my own though, so I'm just going to give it a go and see what happens.
I can't believe I haven't given up on this yet. I want the Jass happy ending - stop trying and then it happens!!
As I'm typing I can feel the familiar AF cramps, so no happy ending this month. To be fair, DH has been away since CD14 and we haven't dtd since about CD10 so it would be a fair miracle for anything to have happened this month!!

Wow jassS that is exactly the good news we've been waiting for! Congratulations. You sound so relaxed too.

All the best with this next plan joeywife. The consultant sounds great. How / why do you go about getting a hycosy? I've been to my doctor very recently and she was quite blasé about my lack of conception. She (I'm sure rightly) said that she could only really recommend bloods again but there was no point looking at scans etc as I'm not experiencing any pain (did she mean endo? I don't know ). I felt a bit embarrassed to ask more because she probably just thought it was an old egg issue!

Any more dizziness abab?

Total - the hycosy is the test where they run some dye through your tubes to see if there are any blockages. Can't think why I didn't do this ages ago, as that would be an obvious reason to be preventing pregnancy!! I think they are pretty much always done privately, unless you are getting some fertility treatment on the NHS, but I doubt that any of us on here qualify for that!!

I don't think so totalnamechanger. I'm 8 dpo today so should know by Monday when AF is due. I don't have any tests, will see if I can be strong!

joeywife that sounds like a good plan. Great you've got a decent doctor - shame you're having to pay for it!