Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

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Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

How do you keep the mood high when ttc ends constantly in bfn? I'm only 40. Plenty older than me around me are falling pregnant just by looking at an hpt and I feel like my reproductive system is about to shut down any minute. It's common for the women in my family to go on having kids in their mid 40s and menopause late 50s but I seem to be bucking this trend. I know this is exacerbated by pms - I just didn't expect it to be so depressing.

Paxillin plenty of people have unplanned pregnancies without taking folic acid and drinking etc. and everything is fine, please try not to worry. Hopefully the folic acid you were taking previously means your stores are high and I don't think a few beers can do any harm at that very early stage.

Foofoo it can be very depressing can't it. I am very grateful for the gorgeous ds that I already have and I try to concentrate on that when the grind of ttc gets me down. I didn't conceive him until I was 41 and I also worried that it wasn't ever going to happen. Hang in there!

Only cd4 here. It's dragging...

I don't know how long I can do this, it's been at least 18 months, probably two years. I remember the last thread with the indefatigable cloudjumper and grizzer and many others. And so many BFPs ending in miscarriages. It is really difficult to stay positive. I had a little oh well, af again, crack open the wine, I'll stay slim because I've left it too late.

Slowest x post ever, I'm taking folic acid now, hope it's in time. I'm still reassuringly sick.

Paxillin - with Dd I didn't take folic acid until I found out I was pregnant at 5weeks

I know the mc threat is always terrifying and on these threads they're prevalent but if it helps any there were 27K+ live births to over 40s in 2014 (from guardian) - there's no reason you shouldn't be one of them.

Oooh, I was one of those. Hoping to be again in 2017!

Cd8 here. Need to start SMEP tonight. Sending everyone positive vibes.

So it is at it like rabbits week then, ababsurdum ?

Every other day paxillin unless I get good ewcm or think I'm ovulating. I've predicted my ovulation day correctly the last few months so I'm not bothering with opk's again this month.

How are things with you?

Well not predicted, but known at the time.

Maybe I should just get some from Amazon...

I feel tired and sick, which is good. 5 weeks tomorrow, might do a clearblu digital again to see if I get a 3+ reading. Had 2-3 last week.

Do you get ovulation pain? I do, but only on the actual day, so bit late to use it as an indicator.

I wouldn't if I were you - that way madness lies. I speak from experience when mine didn't go up or went down (can't remember which) when pg with ds and I was distraught. Everything was fine though. God, I took a shed load of tests with that pregnancy.

Sick is good. I didn't get sick with mine.

I do, sometimes for a few days sometimes only one day. Usually a combination of that and ewcm works for me. Despite this I have just chucked some opk's into my Amazon order. They'll be here tomorrow. I should have shares in clearblue.

Agreed, possibly best not to. The whole ttc time can send you round the bend though. Measure temp every day for a year, month organised into bleeding+grumping, sex sex sex, waiting. Check cervical mucous and, for the most committed, height and softness of the cervix. Throw in peeing on various sticks and taking supplements until you rattle if you jump up and you're ready to ttc.

Indeed, paxillin fingers crossed you're out of it for good.

Where's everyone else?

Hi Ladies,

I m still here plodding along. Day 13, think i ov yesterday. Think i m gradually detaching myself from this ever happening as coming up to 3 yrs ttc no2 and not sure how much longer i can take. Been reading lots about only children and the benefits in an attempt to come to peace with it just being the three of us. Having said that not sure i ll be able to miss fertile time without giving dh the heads up.

Good luck abs for the dtd.

Paxillin keeping everything crossed for you. Totally agree with abs, stay away from the CB conception tests, they are the devil. Mine didn t go up as expected with my miscarriage and it just dragged out the fear and worry. When are you planning to get a scan ?

Just wanted to do a quick wave hello! I'm on about day 10 of down regging- waiting for period to start. Am about 12-13dpo so due any day now then come the tablets to make my lining nice and cosy (hrt tablets I think so good practice for a few years time lol). Good luck to anyone in the 2ww and energy to those at the critical time of the month!

I'm here having kept a low profile for ages. Partly because I don't want to obsess and on the whole that's going well- very busy, enjoying toddler and work etc. I'm feeling similar to you Hula - like it won't happen and I should look for long term positives for being a family of three! Please direct me to your research! I always said I didn't want the striving for a second to in anyway overshadow the present. Not fair on anyone. However I do have moments of feeling floored. Two weeks ago I got my period early (at 11dpo when luteal phase is usually 12/13 days). This isn't meant to happen so what was a meh cycle turned into an upsetting cycle in the end because a change in luteal phase doesn't bode well for fertility. Then I realised someone who I see occasionally is pregnant and she is now looking very pregnant and must have conceived a month after I did with my miscarriage. But feeling okay again for now.

2 dpo. .. going to try and cut out coffee from tomorrow to give it a proper go. I did this with DS. But I love love love coffee and kind of resent doing this indefinitely on a slim chance. I'd also like to get very fit again but apparently that's bad for fertility.

Urgh all so dull to be just in casing! You're spot on pax .

Good luck with fertile weeking abab . I threw in some extras on my Amazon order too!

Hope your lining is plumping up nicely kkm

Totalnamechanger I love this - I always said I didn't want the striving for a second to in anyway overshadow the present. It's so very, very true and articulates perfectly what I am/should be striving for. I hope your LP blip was just that and that this is your month. I'm also trying to cut out coffee after drinking too much of it over the last month or so.

Kkmuppet wow, that's going fast. All positive vibes to you.

Hula so sorry it's been such a long slog for you. It's not bloody fair is it.

Cd9 here. Dtd last night, night off tonight. Opk and dtd again tomorrow though shouldn't ovulate until cd14/15. So romantic

I like the maxim not to let the strive for another (or even the first) baby get in the way of life. Difficult to do sometimes. I haven't even told the GP yet, nothing booked at all.

DH had enough of the super romantic sex schedule. He said let's do it daily from AF to AF so nobody needs a calendar to check . We proved too old and tired busy for daily, but mostly did eod in the end.

Yay kmuppet, glad things are moving on, will be watching keenly for updates and sending positive vibes your way.

Thanks abs, yep it sucks but i know many are far worse off so i m trying not to feel too sorry for myself. Not envying you in 'the crucial week' glad mine is done and that was with only managing to dtd and grand total of twice (D- for effort !!).

Wow paxillin even every other day af to af sounds impressive and certainly effective in eliminating the calender aspect. Not sure we d have the energy and then it would seem like fertile week every day - eek !!
Glad it seem s to have done the trick for you tho. I think if you can mangage to kinda ignore being preg for the early weeks it can make it a bit easier to survive but i know how agonisingly slowly time can go at this time.

Totalnamechanger - the book i m currently reading is 'Parenting an Only Child - the joys and challenges of raising your one and only by Sue newman. You can get it on kindle at amazon. I haven t finished it yet but it has some very valid points and certainly helps give a positive perspective on sticking with one. I have found it really helpful so far even to the extent of questioning whether it would be better to stick with one anyway ......

Is anyone doing fertility friend? I used to like that they give you marks for effort. I have a short cycle (24d, 5 of which af), so it is not so long.

Hi guys, AF arrived one day early this month, throwing out my hope of going back to a 28 day cycle. There were no symptoms at all, which is something because some months it has been utter cruelty with sore boobs, nausea, pains etc. This month I didn't for a moment think I might be pregnant, even though we did quite well on the dtd front.

Anyway, time to start warming up DH again for a week or so of dtd. He's always ultra keen at the beginning... but I need him to maintain his stamina.

Kkm best of luck with uterus preparation! We're all rooting for you!

paxillan congrats, that's just great news. We've only had one relatively recent graduate to the pregnancy thread (am I right?), so now there will be two of you.

ababs - we're still here! Sorry not to have checked in. Things have been a bit busy here again. Good luck with dtd - maybe this is the month!

Remember that time last autumn when there were tumble weeds blowing though here... Lots happening now!!

(Btw I may or may not have had copious amounts of prosecco tonight... I will leave that to your own judgement)

time to start warming up DH again

Twinkly sorry AF got you again, the witch. We have to get lucky soon surely? at warming up your other half for dtd week.

Well, opk fail and dtd fail today. I fell asleep on the sofa again tonight and dh is asleep but am out tomorrow night. Plus I could have a short cycle this month. Am pondering waking him...

Yup pax I also tried to do that when ttc DS too. Keeping in mind other ways to have a fulfilling life in case I couldn't get pregnant.

I use fertility friend too, been using it since ttc DS. I like it much more than ovia which seemed unrealistically cheerleadery for my age. However atm I'm obsessing over my recent weird charts so maybe I should give it a break too.

Speaking of which my 4 do temp yesterday was so low that I had a coffee in a fit of rage Times have changed when having a coffee is rebellious and being able to have sex free days is a relief.

I love the passionate pondering abab ! Did you wake him in the end?

Thanks for the book recommendation Hula . Sounds really good. I've found the one child family forum on here really reassuring too.

Glad af didn't make you suffer this time twinkly I usually feel happy to have a symptom free af too but coming on early can be a worry too.

Anyway hope you all have lovely relaxing bank holidays

I didn't totalnamechanger, it seemed cruel when ds is waking at 5am - which he did. I did an opk this morning and it's not positive yet so hopefully we still have time. I will tell him we need to do it tonight when I get in though, that will be late too but at least he'll be prepared.

Happy bh weekend everyone.