Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

[TwinklyMusic]

Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

Amanda - what an awfully sad story about the loss of your son, you must miss him terribly. I'm so sorry . Perhaps there's still a chance for the BFP you've had recently??? Fingers crossed.

PS - I do wish I was as 'VERY old' as you are! (I'm 46)

Thank you Hula2. Yes, I've wondered about that hyper fertility thing. At my age and with 1 tube, we don't have trouble conceiving - just getting a good one. Well, so far, my GP has tested pre & post-ov hormones (all ok, post ov progesterone of 31), and all the usual thyroid, diabetes etc. So far all normal. If (when!) I start bleeding with this one, I'll book another post-ov progesterone test, and the doc is also going to test for sticky blood & immune factors. It's been agreed that we'll be referred to a fertility clinic if we're still having no luck by August.

ChewyGiraffe, I'm keeping my fingers & toes (& legs!) crossed, hoping that this one just got off to a dodgy start. I've had strong nausea from 11 dpo and it seemed to be going really well, but then I got a really faint positive 2 days after the first (strong) one, and a negative CB-digi. I've since had stronger positives and 1-2 weeks on a CB-digi. I don't like that it's fading in and out. It's definitely stronger than my other 2 CPs, but not exactly convincing. Of course, there's always a higher risk of ectopic. Ah, I may 'only' be 41, but I've aged about 20 years in the last 6 months. I barely recognise myself! I can't bring myself to do anything self-indulgent since my boy died, so things like having my hair done & my greys covered have gone by the wayside. Luckily DH is too distracted to notice!

Good luck to everyone here. This ttc malarkey really is so complicated! Xxx

Hi amanda firstly I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I have suffered a stillbirth and the only thing I've ever said must be worse is the loss of a child you have known and loved. I cannot imagine how you even begin to deal with that.
I hope your bfp is a sticker but it does sound a bit dodgy. If you've had several early losses have you had any testing done for immune/ clotting issues etc?
I am 44 so you are a spring chicken! I had my dd1 at 42 and dd2 (stillbirth not related to age) at 43 - all with one tube following an ectopic so that may give you hope!
Good luck and welcome

Sorry cross posted and you've answered my questions!

Thank you Kkmuppet, and so sorry to hear of your loss. I think grief is relative. When I had my ectopic, it was the worst thing I'd ever been through, and I couldn't imagine being in more pain. Then, when my son died, it was in a different league, on a different planet, in a different universe. I didn't know that much pain existed or could be survived. It's still early days, and we still have his inquest to attend, but I'm glad to be over the first 6 months. Ttc has kept me focused, so even though it's not going very well so far, it's been better than if we hadn't had the option to try. I hope you get your next little bean soon!! Thank you for keeping me hopeful xxx

Amanda I'm so, so, sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you recover from something like that - frankly the thought alone terrifies me. I really hope you are able to conceive a sibling for your son. I sometimes think that I couldn't go on if anything happened to my son but human beings are so resilient aren't they. We find the strength from somewhere to carry on as you have. You have my utmost respect. I hope this pregnancy works out for you, it's such a worrying time .

12dpo here I think. Expecting AF tomorrow. I'm wondering if I will ovulate on cd15 next cycle which would be normal for me - it's been creeping forward a day each time. I read an article by a fertility specialist on MindBodyGreen yesterday which talked about the decline in egg quality after 40 being the principal barrier to conception. I didn't want to post a link as it's quite gloomy but it would be fairly easy to find if anyone wanted to read it.

Gosh Amanda that must have been incredibly difficult (understatement) for you and your oh. I wish you both all the best of luck - you truly deserve happiness.

Hello everyone else. I don't tend to post here but pop in from time to time but think it's about time I started trying to participate more. I'm 40 have 1 Dd. Had mc in January 16 after 5months of trying. Had nothing since but as ever in 2ww and hoping this is my month. Slowly losing hope of ever having another baby.

Just a quick hi [much needed wave icon!]

Amanda, hi. I'm so,so sorry to hear your story. It's heart breaking. There are no words.

I remember going to A&E by ambulance with my little boy when he was about the same age, after a febrile convulsion. I will never forget the fear.

My very best wishes and good luck...

Hi to Matts, Kkmuppet and Hula. Hang in there... We'll all keep trying and hopefully next month....

So sorry for bfn ababs. Is there any chance you tested too early? Fx for you regardless.

How are you now anniversary has passed?

I've been distracted by a nasty bug that's laying me low and giving me other reasons to feel sorry for myself. I was hoping, in the back of my mind, that I would stop keeping track and forget about approaching end of cycle because I'm focused instead on whether to stay off work and critical issues like tissue supplies. It worked a little - yesterday I started feeling AF type twinges and I had to stop and think 'where in my cycle am I ?'

I'm convinced that this is all a watched kettle type phenomenon and if I could only just stop symptom watching in the last week of my cycle, then poof... I'll wake up one morning and realise I'm a week or two late and feeling quite ill actually, and oh goodness me, a BFP, what a surprise!

Well... It keeps happening in the movies, so it must be the way it's done...

Good luck everyone!

Ha ha Twinkly, that does seem to be the way it happens in films doesn't it. Plus quite often on MN too - there seem to be lots of 'surprise' pregnancies.

I'm good, thanks for asking. Due date passing was ok, I tried not to dwell on it and clung to the hope that I might (just) be pregnant by it after all. Yes I may have tested too early and in truth I haven't really had any AF type symptoms - until this morning that is. I think I can feel it coming on unfortunately. Still a new cycle, a new chance and all that rubbish.

Sorry you're feeling poorly, I hope you kick the nasty bug soon.

Welcome Foofoobum, I hope this is your month too. Don't lose hope yet, you are young compared to many of us.

AF arrived today so I'm definitely out. Good luck to everyone else this month.

Hello everyone, Amanda so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. As twinkly says there are no words, just heartbreaking. All positive thoughts with you and your dh and hoping your sons sibling will come.

I need some advice. Since 7/8dpo I've had cramping & v painful back and side pains. I'm now 10dpo and it's like my preAF burning but there's no spotting that I usually have- the burning comes and goes.. I don't think I'm pregnant but I'm concerned about how early the cramping started and got painful. Recently had u/s which was normal and a lap which revealed nothing but a bit of scarring that they cleared away. My periods are excruciating but I could live with it knowing it was only 1week. Now the week before is requiring strong cocodamol too. I don't think I'll have a successful pregnancy as long as this goes on and no one seems to want to help me find out why this is happening. I'm worried I'm getting too old to wait and see but the dr's don't want to know. Can anyone help me?

I don't have any experience of that I'm afraid. The only time I've ever had lengthy spotting before my period was in my cycles post miscarriage. Hopefully someone else can help you soon. Is this the first cycle you've had it?

Foofoobum, are you sure you're not pregnant? Early cramping around that time could be a positive sign, and for me, implantation cramping has been quite uncomfortable. If you're sure you're not, I would definitely be pushing for more tests. You shouldn't have to put up with that much discomfort, and it's not 'normal' for you. I've also only spotted in my cycle after my 2 back-to-back miscarriages, so it's definitely a sign of hormones being out-of-whack for me. I hope you get some answers. So frustrating when we need our bodies to behave, and they don't x

Thanks ababsurdum and Amanda for reassuring me it's not normal as it surely is becoming normal to me - it started 6 months before I started to ttc. I tested bfn today but I just don't feel pregnant either. Previous two pregnancies I've known almost immediately (1mc at 5/6weeks) as I felt stretching and never the (what I can only describe as) burning.

I hope everyone is well...

I'm thinking I'm going to have to pay to have tests done privately but I just don't know what I should be asking for. I have no 'physical' reasons as I was investigated for this but discharged as soon as they discovered nothing.

Have you had your post-ovulation progesterone levels checked? Cramping and spotting can both be a sign of luteal phase defect, as the progesterone should have an anti-spasmodic effect on your uterus until it drops, triggered your period. That still wouldn't explain why it would be so painful for you though. My mum had debilitating periods and was out of action for 2 weeks of every month, but she had endometriosis. I really hope you get some answers. It's bad enough putting up with all that pain, but so stressful if you're ttc as well

Amanda my GP and gynae have refused to test progesterone as I "bleed every month" so I must be ovulating - they claim I wouldn't bleed at all if I had progesterone problems and that testing it only tells me if I ovulate. I'm going back with my partner next week to get tests and have him fight for it because they just don't listen to me :( If that doesn't work I'll sell my oh to pay for private tests

What bull is that???! My GP agreed to test my progesterone purely on the strength that I was having 10 days of PMS cramping, whereas before I only cramped briefly for a few days prior to my period. Just that made them concerned that I was ovulating but perhaps not producing enough progesterone to sustain a pregnancy. As it was, things balanced out eventually - I'd had the merina coil removed and it just took my body a few months to settle down. My understanding is that you can ovulate just fine every month, but if your post-ovulation progesterone rises but peaks below 30, it's unlikely that you will be able to sustain a pregnancy. With your spotting, I'd have thought that would be the FIRST thing they'd check. Ah, keep shouting Foofoobum, until someone with some brains listens to you

Can I join you guys please? I was on the last 40+ thread (and the one before) under an old name.

I am 42, not first baby, but first in 9 years. I just had a bfp, meaning I don't really qualify, but it's only 4+1 so I'm too scared to join the 40+ pregnancy thread just yet. Tried for 18+ month to get this far.

Congratulations paxillin!

Amanda you're absolutely right and that's exactly how I'm going to put it to them. Thank you!

Congratulations paxillin, wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy but I realise it's a very worrying time.

Foofoobum I think anything unusual or very painful should be checked out as a matter of course. Can you see a different GP?

Thank you, ababsurdum and Foofoobum. I see it as an egg that caught at the moment, no more, too much heartbreak otherwise. 4+2, not that I'm counting..

I agree, foofoo, the GP should investigate even if you weren't TTC, a patient comes in agony and gets told "you're bleeding monthly so all is dandy"?

Oh ababsurdum and paxillin I wish you were my gp's. I've been round all the gps in the surgery about this. I'm sure they just leave a not on their system saying "she's a sinker try to discourage" - I'm going to see the menopausal age dr next week so I'm hoping she can take pity on me and try to help.

Good plan Foofoo, hopefully she can help.

Have you suffered losses paxillin?

Only one miscarriage in my 30s, I had a baby since then. But I'm ten years older now, so quite worried. Feel reassuringly sick and tired and look dreadful, which is good.

It's just such a long slog, I temped and did opks and charted. Was really careful with vitamins for ages. The last three month, I haven't even taken folic acid . And I had quite a bit of beer last week, something else to now fret about.