Fabulous forty + ttc and having success!

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Old thread just about finished. Here is a new one... Fx for lots of well earned BFPs for those ttc over forty. We also welcome stories from those who have successfully had their babies over forty and we love hearing back from our graduates.

Me too pissedoff!! Good luck! By other things, he meant fertility treatment like IVF. Incidentally, does anyone know the stats for the likelihood of a 39 or 40 year old conceiving naturally in any one month or over a year. I have a figure of 7% in my head for some reason which I would love to get rid of.

I went and got a scan thing done for £180 and they told me I have the eggs of a thirty year old 😂😂😂
I finished with him last night do this month really was my last shot. I won't do this again it's too much

Good luck to you too Matts.
Thanks Ababs. We have had blood tests and SA. All normal. It took nearly 2 years of ttc to conceive DS with not a single bfp before that one pregnancy. Same story now, only we are 5 years older and one emc down! Not a single bfp despite normal cycle etc. I am having an HSG and a pelvic ultrasound this week. Some days I'm really down about it. Other days I wonder if actually we'd all just be better off with a dog rather than another baby anyway! Now that , with the best of outcomes, any age gap is going to be quite large. Certainly more fun for DS for the first couple of years...
Hospital leaflet says no ttc this month as HSG could harm the egg. But with all the anecdotal stories of people getting bfp after HSG it is tempting to ignore... But then if something did go wrong I would blame myself for not waiting. Does anyone have any thoughts/experience?

I would y worry about age gaps I have three very close together then a 6 year gap and the youngest two get on best of all of them.

Welcome candycrush, pissedoff and Iwasbravetoday. Fingers crossed for a bfp soon pissedoff, your symtoms sound promising.

Iwasbravetoday your story is so similar. I ve just turned 41, ds is 4.5, took nearly 2 yr to conceive him and now on month 33 ttc no 2 with just a 10wk mc and now 5 yrs older. To think dh and i have slogged through cumulatively 5years of targeted dtd is mind blowing (and utterly boring!). I have really been trying to get my head round accepting ds being an only child and the positives of that so that maybe i can let go and just get on with life as a family of 3. Was doing quite well with that till someone at work announced they were pregnant with no2 and it just made me feel so fed up failing to acheive something I have tried so bloody hard to do.

I also have thought if it doesn t happen (and once my dear 15yr old cat is no longer around) that i m going to seriously think about getting him a dog too!

I worry about the age gap too and had hoped for 3yrs (which is what it would have been had i not miscarried) although my sister and i are 6yrs apart and get on great (and remember playing as kids). To be honest i ll take any gap now as even if its not the playmates gap as kids at least its having a sibling when you re an adult.

Re the HSG i think it probably depends when in your cycle you are having it. Seems some are advised to avoid dtd before but if that manages to be before ov i have heard of people trying the same month. Certainly when i had a hycosy a couple of months ago on day 9 they said don t have sex before but go for it anytime after 48hrs. Now that is a saline flush and ultrasound whereas hsg is dye and an xray so not sure if thats why advice is different. If you are having it after ov that i would def not try as you don t want to be flushing a fertilised egg back into the tubes re ectopic risk. Hope it all goes ok.

Abs - hope you re holding up ok this weekend, been thinking of you, hope the beautiful weather has helped keep your spirits up.

Matts - sounds like my cycle is playing up like yours too. Didn t manage to pick up the surge either. Temp rise at day 10 but then more ecwm at day 12 another rise at day 14 and now day 20 and just had a huge drop. So either a day 9 or 13 ov would give me a 7 or 10 day lp either of which would be crap. Just waiting for af to show and get onto next cycle.

Kmuppet - did af show ? Have you got a timeline for day 21 starting meds. Hope you re feeling positive about your FET (or better still hope you re already preg).

Waves to everyone else

HULA. Isn't it just shit! I'm so up and down - one minute feel like giving up and then clock a newborn (which seems to be all the time recently) and I know I can't give up yet. I keep looking at puppies too aaaargh!

CD 25 now and been testing like a mad woman - keep scrutinising the sticks and they are all Snow White 😭😭😭. It is so hard! Went for a coffee in next the other morning and I swear it was like a new mums meeting session. I counted the babies 2 on my left, 3 on my right and 8 around the shop, I could feel tears in eyes and it was so hard not bursting into tears. Silly I know, especially when I have been blessed with two beautiful children already. I think it's because AF is so close and because all my miscarriages keep coming into my head and the journey to get my boys was so difficult. Crying as I'm typing - just feeling sorry for myself and I shouldn't. Sorry for the massive ME ME ME post.

How is everyone else? any news Pissedoff.? Anyone else close to testing - I'm on my phone and can't scroll back.

Lots of luck everyone xxxx

Oh Mattsmamma - big hugs and feel free to rant. Sorry you re feeling crap and for the bfns, its so depressing just staring at those stark white sticks. I refuse to test this cycle because it s been such a crap one i m not putting myself through it. I should really, as like you i m supposed to start popping steriods and all that if get pregnant, but i m just not in the mood for bfns this month and don t really know what dpo i am anyway so just gonna wait for (inevitable) af.

This journey definetly scars you with the toll or trying and heartbreak of losses, even when you go on to have a baby. I guess i just hope that it makes us stronger and better mothers and more appreciative of the gifts we have. Still sucks tho having to be surrounded by people who seem to effortlessly procreate while we have to endure all this. I m not sounding bitter am i...?!!! Think imminent af prob also not helping here either !

Hope your day improves.

Xx

Thanks so much for your kind words HULA

Feel fractionally better thank you xx. AF has arrived
So, a 25 day cycle this month and 28 last. Suppose I will just have to try and pinpoint ovulation a bit better next month. Onwards and upwards next cycle here we come. Actually wonder if I should take the steroids at ovulation as I am supposed to but can't really think of that at the moment - throwing that into the mix would add to the turmoil each month I think at the moment. Plus I only have a very small amount of steroids which I want to save in case I really do get a bfp and then go down the route of seeing the consultant again getting more steroids etc

Good luck to everyone else x

Sorry about af but at least new cycle, new chance.

I tried the steriods from ov for 6 months but it definetly takes its toll so also just doing if get positive test.

Fingers crossed for you this month.

Well I'm out too and the towel officially thrown in. Good luck to everyone I hope your dreams come true xx

Urge, so sorry to hear that pissedoff. It's heartbreaking every month you get a BFN. I never thought I would feel like this, especially as I have two fantastic kids, but the feeling is there accompanied by a sickening feeling that we have left it too late. I had in my mind IVF as a back-up but a friend told me last night that IVF is associated with increased risk of breast and ovarian cancer. Anyone know if there is any truth to that? Sorry, very depressing post!

It's the increase in eastogen I believe, certainly a worry ... We have it in our family. Still no AF from me though, clear blue was a definite neg. seems strange.

Well there seems to be hope for all of us if 70 year olds in India can give birth via IVF with their OWN eggs (according to Sky)!

I'm sorry that people are feeling down and that there have been some bfn's. I agree, staring at those snow white sticks is crap. That feeling that you're out for yet another cycle and are you crazy for even trying? I seem to have this every month at the moment.

I'm about 6 dpo so too early to test. I try not to symptom spot as I didn't really get early pregnancy symptoms the two times I was pregnant. I do have one clearblue test which I found in a cupboard yesterday so I'll probably test on 10dpo just because I have it.

Big waves to everyone

Hey hula thanks for asking! So I am around ovulation time now and still dtd even though due to start down reg next week - did some research and found its ok to still try this month.
Sorry for all the white sticks everyone - I know that feeling all too well :-(
This is SO hard sometimes isn't it - and everyone around me is pregnant just to rub it in even more.
Still keeping hopes up though and fingers crossed for everyone!

Kkmuppet wouldn't the down reg drugs affect the pregnancy if you did conceive? I thought the point of them was to put you in a menopausal state.

Well apparently all they do is shut down your ovaries. I thought it sounded odd as I'd have thought it would affect lining / progesterone levels etc but i figured as there was such a low chance of me getting pregnant anyway it would t really matter!

Thank you for the welcome Hula.
Wishing you lots of luck Khmuppet.
Hula you're right, our situation is so similar. Except we have no cat! I had my HSG and ultrasound on Thurs and the verbal feedback was all normal. Which is good I guess. Would have perhaps been better if they had said 'well you had a blockage which was obviously the cause of all your problems but the HSG seems to have cleared it so its all sorted now' !! But 'normal' is probably the next best thing...
Not ov'ed yet so think we'll carry on and ttc this month.
Dog show is next weekend, DH is working but DS and I are going (DS does not know we are seriously considering getting a doggy sibling). Meanwhile we are recording the BBC series on finding the right puppy for you.
To all with BFNs, it is so hard to be so crushed each month - and even worse when you really start to think you might be pg. I usually find, just as I'm feeling down, I come across a story in the news or on a blog of a family that has had to face something terrible, and it makes me realise that there is no point spoiling what could be some lovely times together by mourning what we could have had - I need to move on and enjoy what we do have.
So - trying not to let ttc rule life (except for temping, symptom spotting, dtd time tabling, no caffeine, no alcohol, no peas, no soya, mountains of supplements, green tea, grapefruit juice etc!!!)

No peas! What's wrong with peas?

Tested this morning at about 10dpo (early detection digital test) and bfn. AF should be due Wednesday. Getting pretty fed up now. Haven't discussed it with dh yet but my gut feeling is we'll try the rest of this year (or maybe up to my 45th next year) and then throw in the towel.

Is anyone else due to test? We need a bfp! I was happy to see Rugby posting on the graduation thread. So glad things are still going strong for her.

Well, well, AF finally got me this morning! I'll trust my boobs next time as they never let me down pre-AF arrival. I'll never know why my OV day shifted last month and why I ended up with 34 CDs this time! Due to change of countries, from Iraq, permanently returning to the UK, due to unexpected redundancy which was done in a horrific way which prompted me to engage a solicitor to deal with it, it caused me a great deal of stress and upset, I won't lie.
Disappointed about this cycle but must be realistic about this journey and be aware of my age. Became 40 last month. Oh well, marching on, head high...
Good luck to all!

Afternoon ladies,

Sorry for af and bfns. I also got af yesterday too but my small victory was i didn t waste one hpt (despite the urge, i refused to test, which is a first). Looks like i ovulated on day 10 (which we missed) so i was right about it being a crap cycle. Just feeling the fight to keep ttc gradually draining out of me and Iwsbrave you are completely right about trying to focus on what we do have and not on what could/might be. I keep reminding myself this when i an able to spend loads of time doing stuff with ds that it would be very different if i had a new baby to care for too. Having said all that i ve still ordered another pack of opks as some stubborn part of me still refuses to give up yet !

Russkippy sounds like you ve been through a hellish time. I hope things settle and with less stress a bfp will be on its way to you soon.

Thanks Hula! Trying to relax but find it hard as redundancy settlement was done wrong and still dragging on. Was also thinking about acupuncture. Has anybody done it? Your thoughts?

Hello ladies. May I join you?

I'm 41, 42 in August. My story is pretty depressing, I'm afraid. Met DH at 38, neither of us had children. Started ttc just as I turned 39 and caught immediately. 8 weeks later I was being rushed into surgery for a ruptured ectopic. The very next month, we caught again, and had our son. I was crippled with SPD but soon recovered after his birth. We had 13.5 wonderful months with our clever, beautiful, vibrant little boy, and then on 5th November 2015, he became ill & died within hours, c.o.d. Strep A Septicaemia. We are now desperately trying for his little brother or sister. In 5 months of trying we've had 2 chemical pregnancies, and I'm probably heading to my third. I've had nearly a week of BFP's that have faded in & out, with a negative thrown in the middle. DH is ever-optimistic, but I'll eat my hat if it sticks, given that it's following the same pattern as twice before.

So, that's me! Sorry, not the most cheery of posts, but there it is. Feeling VERY old these days, so it's good to find a 'mature' (ahem..) bunch to join! Xxx

I ve done a lot of acupuncture. Its great to help you relax and to regulate your cycle. Plus its often also a person to talk to about all this stuff too, which can help, so i d say def worth a go but make sure it s one who specialises in fertility.

Great, just minding my own buisness at work and a member of staff on mat leave comes in with new baby no2 plus 1st kid (both produced in the time i ve been ttc no2) while the two other upduffed members of staff coo over them and everyone has general baby chit chat. It s hard enough trying to stop this ttc malarky being on your mind all the time without being ambushed at work when u can t have a nice glass of vino to make yourself feel better ! Hope everyone else is having a better monday.

Amanda - welcome and sorry i must have cross posted as you did and didn t see your post (i feel terrible now for moaning about minor irritations...).

I am so sorry on your loss of your little boy. I cannot even begin to imagine your pain and what you must have/been going through. It s so unfair that you ve now had to endure further losses.

I hope this one does stick but unfortunatley our instincts are often right but you seem to fall pregnant very quickly (esp as i assume you only have one tube) so there are theories about hyperfertility (where the endometrium isn t selective enough) that can lead to repeat chemicals (i think progesterone can help with this) and also it can be seen with immune issues so don t automatically assume it s age related egg quality. Have you had any tests yet ?

Really hope this little one hangs in there.