April 2014 thread! - still continually supporting one another!

[Cupcake92]

New thread :)
I want to see lots of our old faces back!!
Come on girls!

I am fine Cupcake. I lost the thread off my list and have been really busy.
You little boy looks beautiful. Have you decided on a name yet? Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better than at first. It must be bloody hard. Has ex-H been much help?

We too DS out today and he had a great time but on the way home we went shopping. He was all over the place in M and S food dept. He escaped us and we found him eating a cheese scone that he had helped himself to. Then he got hold of an Easter egg and had stamping hysterics when we took it off him. DH was really cross with him so I took DS outside and left DH to pack and pay. I think he was just tired. He slept all the way home in his car seat.

How did you meet this one Ducky? Hope it goes well.

Ducky in the week I have hardly any help as everyone is working :( but lots of help from my family at the weekend :)
Stbxh's family haven't been to see ds3 yet! He'll be 2 weeks old on Monday
Oo I hope it goes well tomorrow ducky! :)

Hi sunny! Nice to hear from u! :) can't believe u have 3 boys too! how did u find suddenly having 3? How old are ur others?
Ds1 is 3
Ds 2 is 1.
I'm finding it ridiculously hard atm!
I can't drive due to the csection and so the kids are in the house all the time and they are so bored and playing up. It's stressful 3 boys

Glad ur well lulu! Yes, I chose the name in the end. I asked stbxh if he had any in mind on the day of the csection and he said no so I told him I had a name and so we'll call him that I called him Reuben.
Hmm he was quite helpful to start with, then his stupid work friends butt in and basically tell him I'm controlling him (hmm yeah okay not like I've just had major abdominal surgery to birth his child?! )
And that he should do what he wants not run around after me. So he ended up going out (I had him sleep on my sofa for a few nights to help in the night and morning as I could barely walk) getting drunk when I asked if he could not go that night as I was still in so much pain and I'd only just got my
Strong pain meds so they hadn't kicked in yet. And told him I really needed that one more nights help with the kids. But he went out and then back to his. Haven't had help since. He's still had ds1 and 2 on Thursdays and Mondays. But only stays 5 mins to say hi to and hold ds3.

Oh gosh lulu I can't believe he was munching on a cheese scone! Bless him!!

I really love it! I was hoping for a mix like you but once they're here and healthy and you see them playing together it doesn't matter at all. My ds1 is 9, ds2 is 6 and ds3 is just a little younger than yours if I remember correctly, he turned one in Jan.
It's alot easier for me as the older two go to school and generally can amuse themselves. Your little ones are very close in age and you've just had a cs so I can imagine it's really hard for you at the moment but trust me it does get easier and it's so much fun once baby starts moving about. Boys are so loving to each other when they're young and they're into the same things.
Love the name Reuben. Great choice! Sorry to read stbxh is not helping as he should . Sad when others meddle and make things worse. He will look back one day and wish he had done more when he realises how much he has missed but then it will be too late and that doesn't help you now. I really admire how you're doing it alone. It's really hard so really well done xxx

That's a nice name Cupcake. We still have not narrowed it down for the baby.
I can't fasten my shoes now. DH has to do it for me or I wear slip on flatties. I am not that big either but it is all front. The sooner it arrives the better as far as I am concerned. This is the last one as well. DH is contemplating a vasectomy but I will be back on the pill asap until he does it.
Your STBXH is not much to write home about Cupcake. He wants slapping. 3 small boys and he is not doing his bit. He should be ashamed really. Hope you are ok and managing. Does your mum help?
How did the date go Ducky?

Sunny, my eldest starts school in September and ds2 starts preschool 3 days a week in October so once
October hits things will be a lot easier
N thanks, it is hard at the moment. Especially not driving but hoping next week is my last week of no driving! Then I can finally get them all out and about to entertain them!

Thanks lulu. N don't worry I'm sure you'll think of a name soon!
As for the shoe fastening, I never could wear laces socks were also difficult to get on! How long have u got left?
Oh trust me I know he needs slapping! Yes my mom helps a lot. Mainly at weekends when she's off work she'll drive me and the kids out somewhere to get us out the house

Oo yes ducky let us know how this date went!!

Lovely to hear from you sunny! Glad your 3 boys are all being good to each other!

Lulu, sounds like an eventful shopping trip! The guy I met is a friend of a friend. A blind date! How many weeks are you now?

Cupcake I bet that is difficult with everyone being at work! Did your cousin come to stay? My stb x mil hasn't met dd yet, she's over 4 months old now!

My date went amazing! He's lovely! We spent the whole day together, then the night, then he ended up staying sun-tues he lives quite far away from me. We have been speaking every day and he's coming over again next week. Then again two weeks after that, then I'll be going to see him which I'm quite nervous about because it's a 3 hour drive with no traffic and I've never driven that far before and I hate moterways!

Kind of feel like I'm waiting for something to go wrong because he's so lovely

My house is on the market, had about 15 views so far and no offers. The estate agents have dropped the price by over £20k so far as they said all the feedback was the same, that it is gross inside. I haven't seen it in a while though so I have no idea how bad it is. I have cancelled the mediation so the courts will decide the split in equity (if there is any!) now. I am feeling very strong now! Stbxh went out a few weeks ago and got in a massive fight and his face was all mashed up, I didn't hear off him in over two weeks when he finally remembered he had kids and asked to see them. It's been a week since he last seen them now and I haven't heard off him again. I know he doesn't work Fridays &the weekends though but he's obviously got more important things to be doing

Oh ducky I'm so glad to hear that you have found someone nice to spend some time with. It will just show you even more how your stbxh wasn't treating you right. I really hope it works out for you and even if it doesn't turn into something long term at least you've had a nice time with a nice guy.
Cupcake things will definitely get easier once kids start school and pre school. Will be nice for you to start driving and be able to get out and about. My ds3 has started walking now and it's so cute to see. He has gained alot of confidence over the weekend but it's sad that my baby is now a toddler. Time just flies by.

Thank you sunny he is coming over tonight and I can't wait!

Wow how old is ds3 now? That's great that he's walking! Bet you have your hands full!

What do you have planned? Did you say he lives far away? Hope you have a good weekend together. Is he good with the kids?
Yes i definitely have my hands full now. He's into everything and loves throwing things around. My husband's always worried about his new wallpaper, lamps etc he's already peeled some new paint lol
How are your little ones?

Just going to chill infront of the telly I think! He lives a 3 hour drive away but it's going to take him about 4 today because he left during rush hour! He's amazing with the kids!

We have had some offers on the house but my stbxh is refusing to accept any until I agree to give him most the equity. I have had to pay more Court fees today to see if they can order him to sell. I also had a police visit the other day because I reported him for harrassment because he would not stop messaging me, literally none stop. And he was gettin quite nasty. It's not been fun!

Throwing already sunny! Does your dh help out a lot? X

That's great to hear. Dh is good but normally needs a list for everything😒 can't do anything without a list. Frustrating sometimes because most things are the same every time so if i can remember i feel he should be able to too. He is very good with boys and alot of the household stuff so shouldn't really complain. He is currently sleeping on the sofa while i put ds3 to bed. Ds2 has also gone to sleep as he was tired from school. Ds1 is loving it as he feels really grown up being downstairs when the young ones are asleep

Aw hope things go well with this guy ducky!!
And hope ur stbxh agrees to sell!!

Sunny sounds like I've got a lovely family!

I'm slowly getting back to normal and finally in a rountine with all 3 kids! Oh and I'm back on the antidepressants which I'm glad about.
I've just finished a course of strong antibiotics as my wound was infected! But off them now and I'm actually gonna have a glass of wine tonight!! :)

I'm also still breastfeeding exclusively! Well proud of myself! :) can't believe I'm still doing it

Hope everyone's okay and lulu I hope baby is here or soon to be???

Baby due in 2 and a bit weeks. Feels like she could arrive anytime now.

DH thinks every twinge is the start. I got up last night to go to the loo and he followed me. Said he was worried I was in labour and the baby would arrive quickly in the loo.

I pushed DS for 4 miles today along the seafront and back so I don't think she is on her way yet.

Glad to hear you are in a good routine Cupcake. Hope I can get into one. I can't imagine she will be as easy as DS was.

Hope things are going well with your new man Ducky. Don't put up with ANY rubbish at all. You don't deserve that.

How did your weekend go ducky? Hope it went well. My dh has gone out and kids are asleep so i am watching some of my rubbish TV shows and enjoying some me time. Well done on the breastfeeding cupcake, it's really hard to begin with but once established it does make life easier in some respects and it's a lovely bond with baby.

I love a good list too sunny! My weekend was amazing he came to mine Friday night, Saturday we took the kids to the farm then he made me dinner, then he had to leave on Sunday. Will be seeing him again in 2 weeks then I'm going to try and go to his but I hate driving!!

Well done with the ebf cupcake! That's amazing!! And hope you enjoyed your wine. How is ds1 finding it all?

How you feeling about the labour this time lulu? Mind you, your dh might have a point... my labour with dd was an hour! Is he still at work or has time off yet?

That sounds lovely Ducky. It's been a lovely day today, sun was shining , feels like sunny weather could be knocking on the door finally.
I know what you mean about quick labours, ds2 came 1 hour after waters broke and ds3 was about half an hour. Luckily i had gone into hospital before waters went.

Half an hour sunny! I found that because it was so quick it was too much to cope with, i don't know how to explain it properly. I couldn't imagine how it would feel being half an hour!

Oh I hope it doesn't happen that quickly, I have heard that is more painful than a longer early stages. I suppose it will be what it will be. I had back ache and tightenings today but it wore off.

DH is at work until next weekend then his Easter holidays start. I am hoping to hang on until then.

New man sounds nice Ducky. Hope it keeps going well. What does he do as a job? And he cooks! Yaay! Always a good thing.

Mine weren't any more painful. Think they say it's just because your body knows what it's doing the next time and therefore everything happens alot faster. My ds1 went on for ages and that was very painful and he was 6lbs. Ds3 was a 9 pounder and I'm only tiny so you can imagine the shock!

Hopefully it won't be far off then lulu! Would be good if it happened in the holidays then dh could have his paternity too! He works with young adults that have all different learning difficulties. He is very sweet.

9lbs sunny! That's big! How tall are you?

I'm a bit worried at the moment, before you get a non molestation order a warning has to be sent. My solicitor sent stbxh a warning letter the other day saying his constant messages and threats have to stop and if not I'll get an injunction and he'll have to pay. But he hasn't contacted me about seeing the kids. It's been over 2 weeks. I'm worried he'll get drunk this weekend and show up at my house or something. Or maybe he just read the warning that he's not allowed to contact me at all I don't know but I find his silence scary. And how can someone have so little interest in their children? He hast ever asked how they are.

Perhaps he thinks he is not allowed to contact you after the letter.

Spoke to soon! Have to go see him tomorrow

Oh gosh. How did it go? Hope he was kind to you and decent to the children.

Ducky the new man sounds lovely really hope things go well for u :)
And how did it go with stbxh?

Sunny a half hour labour is crazy!! My mom had my brother an hour after her waters broke and that was a panic as she was sat at the dinner table eating dinner

Lulu could be soon then! U must let us know if u go into labour :)

It's so busy with 3 kids! Plus my scar has split open and I'm having to have it packed and dressed by a nurse every 2 days :( been told it will take weeks to properly heal :(
Still, stbxh won't help out more with the kids, social life's too important

I'm going try and find out if I'll get any help with finding a house. Do the council do that? It's so cramped now in this house and I really need to move. But I'm on maternity allowance so I dunno if they'll let me private rent?

Why is it that men are quite happy to have children but as soon as some of them split with their partners they suddenly feel they don't have to do anything unless asked. Why not take on half the parenting especially if you are not well. It's hard enough dealing with a newborn as it is let alone being unwell and coping. I hope you heal soon. Not sure about the house and what council do. Maybe speak to someone at a citizens advice bureau and see what help is available.