April 2014 thread! - still continually supporting one another!

[Cupcake92]

New thread :)
I want to see lots of our old faces back!!
Come on girls!

Ducky - can't mediation sort out the access and the maintenance? He must pay for the children- it can be taken straight from his salary.

They can lulu, but I don't trust him to have them alone. Dd does not know him at all either.

I went to mediation. There's 95k left on mortgage, the house has been valued at 150k. I have said he can have his 50k back, as long as I get a minimum of 10k, as my current debts from moving and buying furniture stand at almost 5k, then I'll have my legal fees of 1.5-2k. So that would cover my debts, legal fees and then I would have some to put in the kids accounts and hopefully take them on holiday. I haven't been on holiday since I can remember. Think I was about 15 when I last went and ds would absolutely love to see the beach.

The mediator asked us what a realistic selling price is, I said 160 at a push due to the state, stbxh said 170. He said say it sells at 165, what are our current thoughts with the money, h said 'I will have my 50, and we'll split the rest 50/50.' I went mad. Not a thought for the kids, and he just wants as much as he can get. If I took it to court I have been advised he wouldn't get his 50k back and the whole amount would be split 70/30 to me. So me saying he can have his 50 is extremely generous!

He said he wanted to see the dc for an hour a week when he asks I said I want maintanence, he said he couldn't afford it, he also admitted he has spent the dc christmas money as apparently 'I looked at him like I didn't want it'. He forgot about the times I repeatedly asked for it, especially when I had to go buy ds new shoes the other week.

After spending their money taking his girlfriend out, and saying he couldn't afford to pay me maintanence, he is out with his girlfriend and her friends tonight celebrating his birthday, so far he has treated them to a meal and drinks in the pub, then he's throwing a big party at our house. I drove past earlier, he has brought so much booze he couldn't carry it so has brought back a trolley which he had dumped in the front garden wtf is wrong with him.

What he's forgetting, he's too greedy with money to pay for a solicitor, therefore it will be my solicitor typing up all the agreements so I will have the final say of who gets what.

He also confirmed in mediation that he had the divorce and has read the reasons. He said he isn't happy with the content but isn't going to challenge it. It's being sent to the courts on Monday and I think then it's just waiting to go before a judge.

I could be divorced pretty soon

Ducky, seriously I think u have a proper upper hand on This.
Maybe not be so generous. I'd take him for everything u can!!! U and the dc's deserve to be treated!

Oh and doing hospital bad 3rd time round is not exciting and I just wanted to finish it lol!

Wish I could divorce stbxh as quick as that! He's pissed me off this weekend. He only has them Monday and Thursday. Since I've been on Mat leave I've had to pick them up earlier. As 'he's had things to do'
I've been in agony past couple of days and my back is aching and I've been getting stomach ache past 2 days so wanted him to have the
Dc's for a couple of hours this evening so I could have a bath and just relax a bit as I'm really achy and sore. I text him earlier and he said he can't as he'll have been at work all day since 6am this morning so today's not good as he's gonna be knackered.
Utter BS!! Just seen he's gone to some girls house to get pissed with friends!!
Always think about themselves!!.

Cupcake he's an idiot I just do not understand why they won't see their own kids!!! Pisses me off no end!

I don't know if I mentioned, but before we were married (v)stbxh had inheritance of 50k, he used that as a deposit and I signed a trust to say if we split and the house was sold he would get it back. Because we got married and had kids that agreement no longer stands, if I say so. But I am a good person, and I wasn't in it for the money at all, so I agreed to stand by it when we split. Although at that time, I didn't know about his affair, and how evil he would be and what little interest he would have in his own kids. In all honesty, I'm hoping that if I stand by that, he will have his money and leave. I'm still feeling so controlled by him. Less than I was when I was with him, but still so controlled as he gets to demand when he sees the dc. He obviously isn't bothered about the kids, and as upsetting as it is, he doesn't care about dd in the slightest, if he was bothered he would want to see them more than an hour a week, if that. I think he's just doing it for show.

He's already prioritised his new girlfriend over the children so many times.

And what winds me up, I can't just drop everything and go out, I lost all my friends and can't make new ones as I don't go anywhere. He can. He goes out every weekend, he got a girlfriend, he's sat in our house and has everything his way. He's having a great time. He obviously fell out of love with me a long time ago, if he ever did love me. But he still tried to make me feel bad for leaving him.

Sorry for rambling on... again!

I think you two both cope incredibly well and deal with two of the shittiest men I have heard of.

DH has been to his parents this weekend - FIL not well. I have felt a bit lonely but reading you two has made me give myself a talking to. Anyway, DS is in bed, DH is on his way home and I am eating a frozen yoghurt.

They are annoying ducky. Some men just want the easy life but always try to make out they are fantastic dads
He works in my local shop and so when I go in when he's not there, I have the staff talk to me about how he always talks about the boys it does my head in. I usually tell them I have to rush off as need to take the boys here there
Or wherever

And yes ducky think u did mention about his inheritance. Well your being very fair!

As long as u are there for the kids and they see unconditional love from u, they will just grow up to realise u are the sensible one their dad ain't.

Lulu, ooo frozen yogurt is delicious! What flavour have u got?
I hope FIL isn't too unwell and feels better soon

Just booked a holiday to a Haven site with my mom, brother, my mom's husband and his daughter for may!!! Baby will be 2 months old! I have to have a caravan to myself with all the kids. I'm so nervous already haha!! I so hope they behave and baby 3 is a good baby

FIL has a chronic illness that flares up and takes weeks to settle back down. It is very debilitating when it happens. DH says it is quite a bad episode. That is why DS and I stayed at home - the last thing FIL needs is Ds fleeing around being noisy at the minute.

Hope you have a great time Cupcake. I don't know what we are doing. We might just stay at home this year or go to a cottage in Uk later in the summer. DH fancies Cornwall but it is a bit far I think. It is about 7 hours from up here.

Well, it wouldn't do for anyone to think your DH wasn't a good dad would it?
He wouldn't want that. He'll have to pay a good bit of maintenance when you get divorced won't he? I hope so.

I hope ur FIL is feeling better lulu.
And Cornwall is somewhere I've wanted to go for a while but it is very far!

My belly has dropped even more. The pressure on my bladder is awful too :(

DH's names list is now
Ellis
Grace
Clementine
Evangeline (Evie)
Mia

I like all of them.

How many weeks left Cupcake?

SIL has stopped feeling sick- at last.

How is fil doing lulu? Good that sil has stopped feeling sick! Must be horrible to have it that long. I LOVE the name grace. That's dd's middle name

Oh cupcake the holiday sounds great! I love uk holidays and they're my only option as I'm terrified of flying and incredibly sea sick. I was considering taking the dc to Disneyland Paris but I don't think it's a good idea taking them out the country on my own for the first holiday!

Have had a few problems recently as I don't have a double pram, just a buggy board for ds. He keeps running off when we're out and about so I brought a joie next to me one with the pink and blue seats. Ds is very excited but he insists the pink seat is for his Spider-Man toy and defiantly not dd. I have a very small car and it's a very tight fit. Can't see out my back window though!

Lulu I wanted Evie If I had a girl :)

Glad SIL is not feeling sick anymore!!

I've got 6 weeks till my due date! But 5 weeks till they are wanting to force me into having the csection :/

Ducky I had that pram!! I had to sell it as ds1 kept trying to hold ds2's hand and he was only small then n kept hurting his arm
I need a double when this baby is born tho! No idea what tho !

I never thought of that cupcake, bet ds will do the same to dd how did you find it getting through doors? I haven't used it yet because it only came today.

Is it your appointment and scan next week?

Ducky, is that the Joie aire twin? I have been looking at that one.

Yes that's the one lulu. It doesn't fit through a normal size door, but I tried putting ds in and dragging it sideways and it was quite light, but that was on a laminate floor so not sure how easy it would be in a shop or anything like that if there was just one door. It's only £109 in mothercare at the moment, it was £99 in smyths though the other week. It seems quite easy to manoeuvre though.

I have my eye on a couple and am takng DS to try some out next week. I don't think he would like a tandem one. He likes to be able to see and I think it is unfair on the one who is on the bottom.

DH was just saying before that I haven't had any of those strange moodies I had last time where I hated him for weeks. 🙂 There is still time. He has been watching the football and I have had an early night. Bit of peace from him.

It was a pain getting through doors which was annoying :/ as the description says it fits through normal door frames. Most it did but the door would have to be wide open and would only just squeeze through.
I've no idea what double to get :/ ds2 won't be walking everywhere as he'll only be 1 and a half, so I deffo need a double.

Ducky my scan is on Tuesday!! And then have my consultant apt straight after it.
And stbxh isn't even coming to it!
This was booked back when I had my 20 week scan. So he knew when it was, had the date etc. But never booked the day off work and claims he can't get it off now
It's an important scan and apt. Will see how baby is and if he's growing properly and discus the birth.
So I'm going all by myself as I have to ask my nan to look after the kids for me at home as they aren't allowed in the scans anymore.

Oo lulu if you see any decent doubles let me know!

Ha lulu I hope he touched wood after as there is still time is this pregnancy a lot different from with ds you think?

Cupcake stbxh should want to be there!! That's rubbish going on your own, you need someone for support! Could your dm come with you? My hosp have never let dc in the scans but they did let ds in with me because of what happened with dd1 I needed my dm with me for support because i was always so anxious and there was no one else to have ds.

Went out with the new pushchair today, there were a couple of small doors but I managed to get through dragging it sideways. Looked a bit silly but I did it! Ds enjoyed it at first, but the decided he was bored and wanted to 'run away' he kept shouting that he was stuck! And he kept putting his feet across dd which he thought was funny, she wasn't impressed.

It is dd1's birthday this weekend she would have been 3. I've wound myself up again as stbxh brought his gf a huge bouquet of flowers, I bet any money he will not put even a single flower on dd 1's grave for her birthday. He's only been there twice. Once was for the funeral and the second time was because I asked him to come with me because he hadn't been there.

I'm having a tough week this week but suspect it's because of the time of year. I'm hoping next week I will feel better once it's all done with.

Oh ducky bless u :(
Ur stbxh is an idiot!
Happy birthday to ur dd1

I have my scan and consultant apt tomorrow. Very very nervous as I'm going all by myself :( I've never had a scan alone before so this will be weird. Just hope everything's okay with baby.

I'm having a csection at 38 weeks 1 day. They are worried as his stomachs growing at a fast rate.

:( :(

Thank you cupcake.

Sorry to hear your appointment didn't go as you wanted what does that mean if his stomach is growing fast? What date is it?

I'm almost 28 weeks. Only 12 to go, over 2/3 of the way there.

What did they mean Cupcake - about his stomach? It can't be too worrying or they would do it immediately- I hope.

I'll be having him on Monday 27th Feb! So this month I'm really nervous. And they couldn't give me a straight answer they said maybe I have diabetes but saw I had passed my glucose test. So they dont rele know why his stomachs grown fast. But my heart rate was quite high so I'm having to have that checked regularly now. Just a nightmare. I've no idea how I'm going to cope with recovery :(
I might ask my cousin to come and stay with me for a week or 2 cuz I need to be home I can't go to my moms to live for a few weeks and I can't get my mom to come stay here as she has my brother to take care of.

I need to get things ready tho. Nothing's ready. Need to wash crib and Moses basket stuff and set it all up I need to try get ds1 back into his bed at night. It's crowded in here lol I might have to bring ds1's bed into my room and get him sleeping in it in my room. I'm getting nervous now

Oooh exciting cupcake! Is your cousin far from you? We all share a room too

No she's literally round the corner from me

It's easier to just share a room
Tho ds2 is good as gold and does sleep in his cot all night in a room by himself! Ds1 is next to me in my bed. But when baby is here will be easier if ds1 is in his own bed to incase ds2 wakes up there's somewhere he can go and I can still have room to lay and feed baby.

Going to be trying hard to breastfeed. Just to help myself out especially at night so I don't have to get up and down to make bottles. Not sure how it will work out tho