April 2014 thread! - still continually supporting one another!

[Cupcake92]

New thread :)
I want to see lots of our old faces back!!
Come on girls!

THats awful oh H's mother!! How dare she not even want to see her grandchildren! Disgusting women.

There will be houses that accept housing benefit ducky, have u asked the letting agents if they know of any?
I wish I could say come and stay with me! But even here there wouldn't be any room :/

Have u not thought of maybe getting a court order to get H moved out? As u can do that.
Or have u asked him to move out and say u need it for u and the kids especially when u are due to give birth in 3 weeks.
I think that would be the best option at this point. Get H moved out until u can sort maybe selling the house and then u both can buy a place of ur own each.

I wish I could help u ducky :( :( :(

Thanks cupcake

What's even worse is she knows dd's name.... she wouldn't say it apparently. But TBH that's made me feel better, at least now I know I don't need to stress over her wanting them the night. I was really worried about that as ds doesn't like her.

Am thinking of telling him I can't get anywhere so asking if he can stay at a friends while i try and sort myself/have dd. But seems a shame to rock the boat while we're actually getting on. But TBH i was shocked that when I told him I can't get anywhere and that all my money has currently stopped and he just sat there. He didn't seem bothered that his pregnant wife and child would be homeless.

I know I shouldn't let him get away with everything like that but I just can't deal with any more stress at the moment.

He also has asked to be at dd's birth... which I don't have a problem wth but he was very very rude about the way he demanded asked.

I would just talk to him and see what he says cuz u and ds and dd need a place especially with birth coming up u need to be less stressed.

Could u have someone else at the birth there with u as well? Ur dm? A good friend? Or something. Might make the tension less and make u feel more comfortable.

I'm exhausted. Almost 20 weeks pregnant now and doing house work is so tiring! I just wanna sleep all day and I can't lol!
It's ds2's 1st birthday on Tuesday!!!!!!! So excited for him! :) can't believe he's gonna be 1!!
I've brought him a tipi, which has sensory lights in it, so gonna put pillows inside and books so he has a cosy place to go :)
I've also ordered him a Costco cake! a chocolate one so he's gonna get messy!

I suggested he goes to a friends. He blanked the idea. I also suspect there is an ow as he had turned into a completely different person. I now suspect it was his intention all along to piss me off enough until I left

Unfortunately I lost all my friends (bar one or two that I'm not that close too) when I got with him I tried adding one of my closest friends the other day and they blocked me

Dm will more than likely be looking after ds.

Omg cupcake! Can't beleive he is one already! I have seen them tipis they look ace! Bet ds1 will want to be in there all the time too!

Only 2 weeks until I'm full term .

He's such a selfish beep beep!
You'll be a lot happier without him ducky. Once dd's here, you've sorted a house and in a routine you'll wonder why the hell u didn't do it sooner !

My best friend I was so close with who I'd literally speak or see everyday completely cut contact with me when I got with exH. So I know how I feel on that part :/

Haha I can guarantee ds1 will want to go in the tipi I'm just shocked a whole year has gone!

Wow ducky!! 2 weeks!!!!

Yes he is cupcake! Unfortunately all my money has been stopped whilst my claim is looked into. He does not care, he has not asked how I'm supporting ds and myself. He has not offered us a penny. He's still sat in the house.

I took ds round earlier, he had been buying himself clothes and has a fridge full of beer and has done a big shop. Didn't ask if ds needed a thing.

I have a solicitor appointment booked for Tuesday.

Grr that's so irritating
He should be giving ds money n thinking of him j himself

Oo good luck with the solicitors apt. Let us know how that goes.

Ds2's bday tomorrow! :( can't believe he's already 1! It's gone too fast!
And I have my 20 week scan in the morning at like 9am so feeling nervous about that as I don't feel a great deal of movement :/

Happy birthday ds2!!!! have you got anything planned for it?

Good luck for your scan, don't worry about movements, I know I didn't have any at my 20 week scan either.

Things have been very difficult here. Still can't find anywhere to live. Looks like I won't before dd2.

H is getting angry cus I told him the house will have to be sold. He's going from basically calling me a money grabber to then saying I'm making him homeless and taking his kids and then acting like I'm stupid and don't know anything. Just trying to stay strong and ignore it. I have been taking ds to him when he demands but this has got him mad.

Got my solicitor appointment today and I'm a bit nervous.

Ahh I did write a post but it hasnt posted!

We spent the day with my mom and then exH came round to do the cake and play with ds2 for a while.
Ds2 loved it! I got him a tipi :)

Oh ur H is an idiot
Ur doing right to ignore what he says!
How did the solicitor apt go?

My 20 week scan was fine :) all okay and he looks fine!!! :) such a relief :)

I'm really struggling with my pnd at the moment. Or would it now be pre natal instead of post natal? Or both?
Today has been hard. Had an inspection on the house at 11am. Trying to clean the bathrooms and hoover the whole house whilst I have 2 screaming kids cuz they are tired and bored cuz I'm cleaning, was just awful just broke down in tears and almost gave up with cleaning.
I managed to get everything done in the end and the letting agent said the house seems great.

3 kids is gonna be so hard. Wish I had a really really close best friend who would come over all the time and have girly nights or just help with the kids lol

Bet he loves the tipi!!

Have you come off your ad's while pregnant or can you still take them? I know what you mean about having a friend, I have no one too

The appt went well. I have started the divorce process... very scary anyway, ideally I wanted to wait until after dd has been born but I felt pressured to do it now by everyone.

Good news is I took ds to see stbxh yesterday and he has calmed down a lot, he seemed to say he would agree to the divorce (even though it's on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour) and seemed to agree that the house will be sold, although he is struggling to find rented accommodation. Fingers crossed he keeps this up.

I am going to the council tomorrow to make a homeless application. They told me before that I can't as I am on a mortgage but the solicitor is writing me a letter to say I need to be on there as I have no where to go and can't return home. I really hope it works. She said she had done it before and it has, and I should be top priority.

Going to make my homeless application in a bit.

Have been reading up on it and it says if your classes as high need, you should be put in temporary accommodation whilst they look at your application which usually takes around 18 days.

It all has to happen at the worst time!

Wish me luck!

GLad the solicitors apt went well. I'll be starting my divorce process once baby is here. Iceberg had to wait 2 years!

How did the homeless application go?
They say that about moving u into temporary accommodation but a lot of the time it's just a normal house but rent is more I think? Someone I knew had a temp house whilst waiting for her permanent home. She wasn't there 2 weeks.

I also hope stbxh keeps that up also!
Be nice if this can all go smoothly for u

I was thinking it was going to be 2 years but am going to try for unreasonable behaviour which is a bit worrying because of how smoothly things are going at the moment.

The homeless app didn't go too well, they're saying they have no emergency/temp accommodation unless I want to travel quite a way away. But hopefully my solicitor will sort it out for me. Have e mailed her to ask her to contact them.

Really hope it works as I just want to get sorted now

Hopefully tho it will go smoothly and quick!

Aw no :( I hope ur solicitor sorts it for u! I'll keep my fingers crossed for u.
Surely tho they should see ur in need and about to give birth!
Council are so stupid most of the time!

My anxiety is so so bad :( I'm having horrible days I hate it. I need a break and I don't get one. I've got no friends to go out with either. :(

Have you spoke to your midwife cupcake? Or your GP? Maybe there's something safe you can take to help you? I can't imagine how hard it is looking after 2 alone whilst being pregnant.

I'm pretty angry... went h earlier to pick some stuff up. He wasn't in but had left his phone.... I looked through it. There were so many messages, I read the first two (I know I'm awful). One was to a girl we know, it was sent very shortly after I left him telling her how sexy he thinks she is. The other one I read he was messaging his mate having a laugh that he's now single and how he has the house because he knows I can't afford it. This whole time he has been laughing behind my back.

Did you go to winter wonderland at the snow dome the other year cupcake? Have booked it for ds birthday

Hope everything is going ok lulu.

I've not spoken to my midwife as i don't see her till 20th December. I might call the GP on Monday tho. Probably the best idea.

Oh he's pathetic ducky
I wouldn't be nice from now on.

Yes we are going again this year! So much fun :)

Yes speak to your GP, I hope they can sort something for you.

Have you booked it yet? Need to get ds some new wellies and hat and scarf, it says it's very cold! Can't beleive I'll have dd then too!

Hello Ducky. I am fine. Have just been really busy. We are moving house and it has all happened very unexpectedly and quickly. We are just moving to the other side of the park into a bigger house. I was passing with DS and the sign was going up. Went straght to estate agent and we saw it that night, put an offer in, they accepted it and we were about to put ours on the market and Sil and Bil offered us the asking price . They have sold theirs to a first time buyer. The people we are buying from are going to Aberdeen to live and are not buying yet so no chain at our end. Surveys have been done so it should be in the next 4 weeks
It has just happened, we were not even thinking of moving but we have always liked these houses. It has everything I want in a house (a normal house anyway, not thinking of country house type houses).
DS will love it- big back garden and a decent front garden that opens into the park. There is no road, so cats will love it - just a track that leads to the 6 houses.
Not packing yet- if it fell through we would extend ours. Whatever we do, it means us having a mortgage again but not a big one.

You two sound like you are both having tough times but I am glad you left DH- you will be better off emotionally but hope you get sorted with somewhere to live. Is your brother still looking with you?
Cupcake, ask for an appointment as a priority with your GP. You can take lots of anti-depressants when you are pregnant. Don't just suffer it. It is an illness like any other and there is medication to help you.

Oh wow how exciting lulu!! Do you have a moving date? How many weeks are you now?

Yes I'm still looking with my brother, although I would prefer to be on my own, it's cheaper with someone else.

I don't know if I mentioned, I found out h hAd been messaging other girls. I confronted him as he had been trying to make me feel awful about what happened and he obviously didn't care! He said he was lonely, then he got nasty talking about solicitors

He is showing his true colours now Ducky. You are well rid. Let him see a solicitor- he will find himself paying support.

No moving date - hopefully in the next 4 weeks if it all goes well.

I am almost 15 weeks. Not really showing when I am dressed. Have had two scans. Both fine. No sickness but I have been very tired. It has worn off a bit but not completely.

We have still not told anyone. PIL are coming up for the day on Saturday and we are going to tell them then.

Does your brother work - if he does that might help you get a place.

Wow Lulu!! That's exciting moving! :) I hope it all goes smoothly! So do u think you'll be moved in for Christmas?
Glad all is okay with the pregnancy too! Ur doing well not telling anyone yet!

Ducky as Lulu said, let him go to his solicitor. It will just turn on him and he will end up having to pay out money!

My phone contract has ended and I totally forgot it was ending!!! I have no phone now :( well I have the phone but no use of my number etc. I've applied for a sim contract but my credit score is awful and I'm having to wait for an email to say if I can be accpetd for it :/

Panic over :) my sim is in the post and will get it tomorrow!

Went to the doctors today. I asked to go back on antidepressants as I can't cope anymore I'm struggling. She said 'but your pregnant?' I said yeah 21 weeks now. N she said no im not able to go on any medication as it may harm the baby. I tried explaining how crap I feel etc n all she said i could do was self refer to counselling :( which I'm sending off tomorrow but I've booked In on Friday with another doc as I need someone to at least help me. :( just feel like they are just gonna make me deal with it on my own :(

Bet they will be over the moon lulu! Are you working again now for your friend?

Cupcake that is awful! Surely there's something you can take! Will this other dr give a second opinion? Or maybe speak to your midwife? I know when I was pregnant with ds I was offered a specialist mental health midwife if I wanted one.

Had my last scan today. All went well was meant to be viewing a house but the estate agents have had to rearrange.